Ok, so the next part is sort of explanation that's actually part of the story. This here's an Author's Note. This entire story is going to be either in Max's POV or third person. That's it.

Beware: This FF is full of complete and utter randomness, along with a bit of confusion, jammed together with total silliness. The possibility of OOCness, but, then, what do you expect when Max's hair catches on fire and Nudge gets dangled by her expensive, designer jeans over a flaming pit of alligators? Alligators I tell you, ALLIGATORS!

How knew so much could happen around a window-stuckage?

Disclaimer: The Flock and associated characters belong to JP. However, I own the phrases "TBOs", "UHO", and "Zoi", along with John A., John C., John E., John S., and John T. Oh, and Norman Quacks.

Let me tell you about the time I got stuck in a window. Now, it's a very long story that involves chlorinated-green hair covered in purple lipstick, a marionette that looks like Brad Pitt, but with Angelina Jolie's lips, a pair of fuchsia boy shorts on a girly hanger, and a jet plane made of old cheese, and that's only in the first chapter, so don't expect anything boring. Expect something wild: like blue oranges, or turquoise lemons, or quite possibly burgundy limes.

This story starts at a mall, heads through a pool, a theater, a television station, a Wal-Mart,a graveyard, a battlefield reenactment scene, an airplane hangar, quite a few funny farms, and, of course, a McDonald's that grows cherries on its roof. Where will it end? Why, mes amies, you're going to have to read to find out!

Every that happened in the following month, from choking on dried oregano to decapitating Princess Charmings, started at one very commonplace location, somewhere in the middle of Arizona...

I can't believe they dragged me into this. We'd been at home. Well, Dr. Martinez, my mom's home. We'd been watched TV, all of us, when someone has a just awesome idea: "Hey Max, you know we haven't been shopping in, like, forever and plus we're going to need new clothes and stuff are we don't even have any bathing suits and it's the beginning of July and we're really close to a close so wouldn't it be just awesome if we could, like, go shopping at a mall or whatever?"

It was, of course, Nudge. I didn't want to go at first, but after intense convincing from Nudge, Angel, Ella, and, GASP!, Fang, I finally relented. The conversation went something like this:

*FLASHBACK*

"Well, Nudge, sweetie-"

Angel cut me off. "Max, I want to go shopping, too."

I was faced with three pairs of adorable Bambi eyes. Who knew Ella could make such awesome Bambi eyes?

"But-"

This time, Fang cut me off. "We do need to get new clothes."

I glared at him, but he ignored it. Then I looked but at the Terrible Bambi-eyed Ones, AKA the TBOs, and let them go shopping.

*END OF THAT DARNED FLASHBACK*

So, they dragged me off to Abercrombie and Fitch. Why, I must ask, did they take me to Abercrombie and Fitch for a bathing suit!? I have no idea. The boys went shopping somewhere else. Total vouched to stay home; he didn't want to go swimming, anyway.

Angel got this adorable pink one-piece with purple sparkles all over it, Nudge got a super-cute blue two-piece, and Ella got a skimpy-ish orange two-piece with yellow streaks. Finally, it was my turn. They literally had to drag me across the floor and into the changing room in order to try anything on.

The first thing they tossed over the door I rejected immediately. It was a turquoise two-piece that had half as much fabric as Ella's did. Maybe seven inches. More like four. Definitely four. I yelled over the door, "NO WAY AM I WEARING THIS!"

Ella called back, "TRY IT ON OR WE'RE SICCING GAZZY ON YOU!"

I sighed at put the bikini on. I walked out of the changing room. "I-" I would've said more, but that was all I got out before Nudge said, "ZOMG Max! You so have to get that bathing suit! It's so cute and Fang will love it!"

Then Ella said, "Yeah, Max, that bikini's awesome!"

"What does Fang have to do with this?"

Angel said, "C'mon Max, I'm seven and even I can tell you and Fang like each other."

I spluttered for a moment. Then I said, "I don't like-"

"You're getting it! And that's final." Ella gave me a glare. Sometimes she can be scarier than me on a rampage. She can do Bambi eyes and an evil glare? Yikes.

"But-"

"No buts."

Then they pushed me back into the changing room to get my clothes back on. When I came out, I tried to protest that I didn't actually want a bathing suit, but they wouldn't let me get a word out.

We met up with the boys in the food court. They had all gotten swim trunks, and Dr. Martinez-MOM- had gotten a bathing suit, too. Didn't she already own one? Whatever.

We bore down on the french fries and pizza. After lunch, we headed to the pool.

Everyone went into those little stalls to get their bathing suits on. I came out last. When Fang saw me, he gaped. I closed his mouth and told him, "You're going to catch flies."

Then I saw my mom. Seriously, she actually looked hot. It was a black two-piece with splashes of color all over it. She saw my look and grinned. I just shook my head at her.

I went over to a beach chair to read a book. The little ones started playing in the water, and Nudge also grabbed a chair.

Fang and Iggy were talking; Fang probably described the "beach" bunnies to him. He was grinning manically. Iggy I mean, not Fang. Well, Fang could've been grinning manically, I couldn't really see him that well, but he really isn't one to grin manically. Fang kept glancing at me, though, so he might've been talking about me. I dunno.

I went back to reading my book. Suddenly, someone picked me up, knocking my book over, and tossed me into the pool. I yelped. "What the-?"

Then I saw Fang. He was standing by my chair, laughing his head off. I caught Ella's eye. She had been a chair away from me. She slowly crept up behind Fang while I treaded water, then tackled him, throwing them both into the pool.

Mom shook her head and muttered in mock disgust, "Kids."

Ella and I high-fived. Out of nowhere, Gazzy splashed a huge wall of water in our faces. I spluttered and gasped or breath for a moment, then splashed him back, hitting him and Fang. Then Nudge dived into the pool, and it became a full-out water fight.

When Angel splashed Nudge, Mom got soaked, mainly because she was only a few feet away from the pool's edge. Mom threw a UHO - Unidentified Heavy Object - at their heads. They ducked, thankfully, but the UHO landed in the pool, and it had to have been pretty heavy, considered everyone in and within ten feet of the pool got drenched.

Inadvertently soaked herself more thoroughly made me burst out laughing. While I was laughing my head off, Ella lunged at me and dunked me under the water.

After a couple of hours, we went back home.

Total grumbled that we were getting him soaked, even though the only part of us that was wet was our hair.

Later that night, when I was getting my pajamas on, I looked in the mirror. I gazed with horror at my reflection. "ELLA!" I screamed.

She came running. "What is it Max- oh."

She stared at my hair, which was a peculiar shade of green. "Why is my hair green!?"

"Probably the chlorine. It does that to blonde hair sometimes."

I sighed. I went back to my room, hoping to avoid everyone, to know avail. Gazzy saw me, and he instantly cracked out laughing. This brought the attention of Fang, Nudge, Iggy, and Angel to me. Fang half-grinned, his version of an unbridled chortle.

(A/N: I believe that's a quote straight from Maximum Ride... ha, and I didn't even do it on purpose!)

Iggy asked what was up, and Nudge said through her laughter that "Max's hair is a really weird shade of green and its super funny because can you just imagine Max with green hair I wonder what caused it!?"

I sighed. "It was the chlorine."

Angel was giggling. Only a seven-year-old can pull off giggling without seeming like a preppy cheerleader.

I ran to my room, opened the window, and dived out. On my way there, I knocked over a small, black tube. Unfortunately, I got stuck. That's right; the fearless-kick-your-ass-to-next-Wednesday Maximum Ride was stuck in a window. Imagine my embarrassment. The green hair didn't help.

Turns out, the small, black tube was a tube of purple lipstick. It, somehow, got stuck in my hair. Maybe chlorine sticks to whatever purple lipstick is made of? Whatever. Anyway, THAT got all in my hair, so now I had chlorine-caused green hair with lipstick-caused purple streaks. Oh yeah, it didn't help that I was STUCK IN A WINDOW. And it was only eight'o'clock.

Everyone, including Iggy and Total, were laughing at me because I was stuck in a window with green-and-purple hair. Well, I'll show them! I thought.

Kicking with my legs, and accidentally hitting Iggy in the face, I got all the way out the window. Of course, I didn't get my wings out fast enough, so I landed face first on the ground.

Fang dived after me to come and get me, but he also got stuck in the window. I took a running start, and launched up into the air, flying at super-speed away from them.

I flew for, oh, maybe three miles. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going, so I ran into a bird.

It was a pretty big bird, in fact, and it caused me to drop like a, well, aerodynamic birdkid.

I tumbled through the air, but somehow I got my feet underneath me and skidded onto a roof of some building. I didn't actually keep my footing, though.

The some girl came up onto the roof, holding what appeared to be a mini-person who had great resemblance to Brad Pitt. When she came closer, I realized it was a Brad Pitt marionette, but with Angelina Jolie's lips.

She said, "Hello?"

"Who are you?" I asked her. I seriously didn't trust her.

"I'm Joh-" but then she tripped over air, and the marionette-that-looked-like-Brad-Pitt-but-with-Angelina-Jolie's-lips smacked my forehead.

The girl stumbled to her feet, still holding the marionette, and said, "Zoi! I'm so sorry! I'm such a klutz..." Then she looked at my hair. I was prepared for laughter, but all she said was, "Green with purple streaks. Sweet."

"So who are you?"

"Joh-"

Suddenly Fang landed. "Max, I shouldn't have laughed at you."

The girl tries to walk over to Fang to do something, but she trips over her own feet, and he gets smacked on the forehead by the marionette. She doesn't even seem to notice his wings.

"Zoi! God, I'm such a klutz! Sorry, I can trip over anything..."

Fang wrenched her arms behind her back, but she did this weird flippy thing, nearly kicked Fang in the face, so he was holding her upside down. "Hiya!" she grinned. "You know, that was an accident."

Fang let her go, but she flipped back around. Her forehead whacked his shoulder, though, and it made a resounding CLANG, so it had to have hurt.

"Zoi! And ouch." She rubbed her forehead.

Suddenly, some other boy came onto the roof. He was holding something weird in his left hand, but I couldn't tell what it was in the dim light.

"Sis, what is it..." He trailed of when he saw us.

He walked closely, looking much less accident-prone than the girl, and I saw that he was holding a hanger with a pair of shorts. That might not seem THAT weird, but the hanger was pink and flowery, and even though the shorts were definitely for boys, they were fuchsia.

Out of nowhere, a slightly moldy looking, greenish-yellow paper-sized airplane flew straight at the boy and knocked the hanger and the shorts out of his hand.

Gazzy skidded to a landing next to Fang. He glanced up at the sky, and Nudge landed next to him. Nudge grabbed the yellow plane, which I realized was a jet plane made of old cheese, and took a big bite out of it.

Gazzy and Nudge both said at the same time, "Sorry for laughing at you."

Nudge said it in her normal Nudge-y voice, but Gazzy sounded remarkably like a preppy cheerleader.

Some other boy hopped onto the roof, exactly where the first boy had. Actually, the girl and the two boys looked close enough to be siblings.

Anyway, the second boy walked over. He winked his right eye, then his left eye, then his right eye, then his left eye, then repeated. I blinked at him.

Then Iggy landed. You're going to think I'm crazy, but it looked like he was juggling, get this, blue oranges, turquoise lemons, and burgundy limes. He was also whistling Skater Boy, AKA Sk8r Boi, by Avril Lavigne. He said while whistling, "I have no reason to apologize to you since I'm blind."

A THIRD boy tackled Iggy, and chomped down on a burgundy lime that he dropped. He chews for a moment, then sprays everyone with burgundy lime juice.

Then Angel landed. Her hair was standing straight on end, as if she's shoved a fork into a power socket. She grabbed a turquoise lemon, and chewed it slowly.

She spit the entire pulpy wad into the boy that was winking's face. This caused him to stop winking.

I grabbed one of the blue oranges, and shoved it into the Bradgelina marionette's face. Why? 'Cause I felt like it.

The girl tripped over the boy short on the hanger, then tripped over what was left of the jet plane, then over the marionette, which she was holding a foot off the ground, then the colorful fruit, then Iggy, and then over my feet.

This caused her to fall on top of pretty much everything. "Zoi!" she shouted.

Everyone got smacked somewhere or other by the marionette. Everyone was dumbstruck. A fourth boy appeared, then started shoving bits of old cheese and turquoise lemons into his mouth. He appeared to have a weakness for them.

Then everyone started grabbing fruit and throwing it at each other. The boy shorts made a handy slingshot, the marionette had, like, three pieces of fruit jammed into it, so every time it hit something, or someone, an explosion of juice occurred, and the cheese was quite flavorful when mixed with whatever else was being used as weapons.

The conversation went something like this:

"GIMME MY MARIONETTE BACK!"

"Nuh-uh! You'll use it to fruitify me!"

CLANG

CLANG

"Ow."

"Those are mine! Mine I tell you, all mine!"

BANG

"Want some old cheese?"

"ZOI!"

CLICK

"Zippidy-doo-dah, cheesy-fruit-ae, my, oh, my, what a wonderful-"

BOOMBANGKA-CLANG

"CHEESE! Ooh boy, do I looove turquoise lemons!"

WHAP

"Everybody was fruit-y-fighting, yeah!"

"SHUT UP!"

SMACK

"Are you guys on Valium?"

SMACK

"GOD! I HATE VALIUM!"

SMACK

"Um, guys? Where'd my shirt go?"

"Aw, who gives a curse word!?"

KA-WHACKITY

"MY POOKIE-SNOOKUMS!"

BOOMBOOMPOW

"Black-eye Peas?"

"CHEESE!"

SMACKITYBANG

"Who just shoved a blue orange up my nose!?"

"Aw, stick it on a label and duck tape it to my forehead!"

CRACK

"ZOI!"

BANG

"ZOI!"

SMACK

"ZOI!"

CLANG

"ZOI!"

"He was a skater boy, she said see ya lata boy, he wasn't good enough for her! Now he's a superstar, slammin' on his guitar, does your pretty face see what he's worth-"

SMACKITYCLANGCLANGBANGKA-CRACKCHINGMONKEY

"MONKEY!?"

"Monkey. OW!!!!!!"

SMACKOWSMACK

"Gimme dat!"

"Aw, go to funkytown!"

KA-BOOM

"Chipmunks?"

BANG

"Gosh darn it, we're Valium-looped!"

"Fang, I loooove you dis much!"

ZINGWHAP

"ZOI!"

"THAT CREEPY MARIONETTE TRIED TO EAT ME!"

CRACK

'"How the curse word did Valium get into out bloodstreams!?"

"I CALL A FRUICE!"

BANGBANGBANGBANGBANG

"FRUICE!"

Everyone collapsed away from each other.I inspected the damage. Nudge had a blue orange shoved up her nose, the marionette was on the verge of decapitation, the boy shorts were shredded, my shirt was missing, so I was wearing only a bra, Angel's hair was a creepy shade of blue, the girl had a million bruises, the winky boy was drooling, Fang had a purple eye, Gazzy had a wad of duck tape on his forehead, Iggy had a bloody nose, the boy shorts kid was hopping around on one foot, and the boy that tackled Iggy was turned a curious shade of peach. Oh, and everyone had bruises and cuts and was covered in fruity juice and bits of cheese.

The marionette was also dripping juice. I have no idea how Iggy could've juggled so many fruits; we had thrown around fifty.

Then the Nudge Channel turned on. "Wrinkles, doors, planets, water, does it really mater which one we're talking about here? They're all, like, super awesome and Madeleine does rock and all and have any of you ever even read her?"

Fang had disappeared, but, when I looked around, I saw wads of old cheese floating in the air, so I knew that's where he was.

The girl asked, "Fruice?"

The boy shorts boy replied, "Fruity truce."

"Oh."

We all stared at each other. Then the girl said, "Well, I'm John S. - Janice. Boy shorts boy is John A. - Johnnay, winky boy is John C. - Johncy, burgundy lime boy is John T. - Johnty, and cheese-and-turquoise-lemon boy is John E. - Johnny. They're all my brothers."

I replied, "I'm Max, invisible boy is Fang, Skater Boy boy is Iggy, blue-orange-up-her-nose girl is Nudge, cheese-plane boy is Gazzy, and hair-standing-up girl is Angel."

Everyone was facing me, so I was the first one to notice the video camera. It popped up out of nowhere. I gaped at it, and everyone turned to face it.

A guy with a microphone popped up next the camera. "Hello, I'm Norman Quacks. What we just witnessed was quite hilarious. We're going to feature it on the nightly news."

Norman Quacks and the cameraman suddenly had a large number of items headed for them: a bunch of blue oranges, turquoise lemons, burgundy limes, bits of cheese, strips of fabric from a pair of fuchsia boy shorts, a pink hanger, and a nearly decapitated marionette of Brad Pitt but with Angelina Jolie's lips, among other things.

The Bradgelina marionette became completely decapitated, and Janice yelled, "MY PRINCESS CHARMINGS! NOOO..."

The camera started shooting sparks because of the colorful fruit juice, so the cameraguy chucked it towards us. Everyone but Janice dived out of the way. Janice tried to dive out of the way, too, but she tripped over her own feet, again, and yelled "Zoi!"

The camera missed her head by, like, two inches.

Suddenly, Ella crawled onto the roof, panting. "Did I miss anything?"

Mkay, this is an idea I came up with while reviewing for a FF, on 7/6/09. In fact, quite a lot of my ideas come from reviews. It was for Misjudgement, by El Kimmiie:

HAHA! Totally random! :) Yet, once again, interesting! :)

Moi: So, Maxy, dear, how'd you get stuck in a window?
Max: It's a very long story that involves purple lipstick, a marionette that looks like Brad Pitt, but with Angelina Jolie's lips, a pair of fuchsia boy shorts on a girl hanger, and a jet plane made of old cheese.
Moi: I REALLY, don't wanna know. Wait, I could turn that into a oneshot...
Max: DON'T YOU DARE!
Moi: *laughs evilly in great resemblance to Angel*

Vera

Ya see? That got me started, and I sorta added onto to that, and tada! When I started this, I didn't plan anything: I just went with whatever I came up with. I'm going to put the next chapter up whenever I get ten reviews; I already have it finished, but I want some input people! Suggestions, criticisms, flames, ideas, input, scorns, WHATEVER! Just review! If you don't I'll sic the decapitated Bradgelina marionette on you. JANICE IS AT MY COMMAND! MWA-HA-HA!!!

NOTE: EVEN THOUGH I SAY I COULD TURN THIS INTO A ONESHOT, THIS IS NOT ACTUALLY A ONESHOT. IT IS A FULL STORY, AND WILL CONTAIN MULTIPLE CHAPTERS.