Ah mercy! This is my first Naruto Fanfiction. I have One Piece out there, but this is my first Naruto one. This story you can think of as AU/AR. It follows and doesn't follow the plot line. Meaning I have changed some things to fit my needs. Also this fiction is YAOI and also has hints of Shota. If you cannot handle those two things then turn away. Besides yaoi and shota there is some mild language.

Some might find this fic confusing as it time skips a lot. But that is how the story fell from my mind to paper. Please be sure to read all the time skips and not just skip ahead to the present. The past is important too.

This fiction pairs Naruto with Kakashi and if you do not like that pairing leave now. NarutoxKakashi is my favourite pairing. So get over it.

k?

Enjoy or hate, I don't care, I write for me not you, unless otherwise noted

Oh I do not own.

He stood out in the forest leaning against the trap field fence. His one eye not covered by his forehead protector stared out blankly. He touched a gloved hand to a masked face. Why had he kissed him? His eyes turned heavenward, as if expecting the answer to be written in the night sky.

He had been expecting a punch in the face. Instead he had received a crushing and passionate kiss. The boy's words danced in his mind, tormenting him.

"You are an asshole."

"I should hate you."

"What gave you the right?"

Why had he kissed him? The question played in rang through the silver haired jounin's mind once again. A punch he could have lived with. A punch he had deserved. That kissed tortured him more than anything else could have. In a flash he was gone, leaving behind only a puff of smoke.

Moments later Kakashi reappeared near Konohona's memorial monument. Slowly painfully the ninja walked towards the monument. His heart felt heavy. Heaviness he had not felt in a long time.

"Rin..." He whispered kneeling in front of her name. "What do I do?" Choking back a sob the man known as the copy nin removed his forehead protector and rested his own forehead against the cold stone. His mind wandered.

Three Months Earlier

Iruka sat at the ramen stand his bowl of beef ramen had long since gone cold. Idly he poked at it.

"You know it is dumb to buy two bowls when you cannot even eat one." An amused voice teased from behind him. Turning he saw Kakashi. Not bothering to even acknowledge the other ninja, Iruka turned back around.

"It's been three years." He spoke quietly.

"Oh?" the ninja behind him questioned not sure what he was talking about.

"Three years ago Naruto left this village. He would be sixteen by now. I bet he is growing into a fine young man and an excellent ninja. Once a week since he left, I have come to this stand and ordered two bowls. One for him and one for me in hopes that he will just come bouncing back into the village and sit down and eat with me."

Kakashi could not give a reply to this. He felt Iruka's pain. Nothing had been the same since the lively teen had left the village. Clamping a hand down on the man's shoulder, he said the only words of comfort he could think of.

"They miss him too. Every day, I see them look towards the gates. A look of hope dancing in their eyes as if they expect him to come running through the gates at any moment. And I miss him too. This place is just not the same without him."

Both men were silent for a moment and then Kakashi was gone.

Present

The cold stone felt good against his hot forehead. His fingers clutched desperately at the monument as if the ground was falling away. His nails broke and his skin tore causing him to bleed. He did not feel the pain. That pain was nothing compared to the ache in his heart. Kakashi chuckled dryly as the rains let loose, soon soaking him to the bone. To make matters worse a hard wind picked up. Soon he was shivering, but made no effort to move to a warmer drier place.

"I should have died then. I shouldn't be living now." He paused and closed his eyes willing away the memory of losing his comrades.

"You know for a genius ninja, I am rather stupid. All these years of being aware of my surroundings. Of training myself to be aware of everything. Of always being alert. I was not prepared. I was taken totally by surprise.

Three years earlier

He had arrived too late and he knew it. Sasuke was long gone and Naruto lie on the floor motionless. Cursing himself in his mind, he rushed towards the blonde haired ninja. His hands shook as he reached for the boy. Please be alive. He mentally screamed at his student. Naruto was breathing, but barely. Sighing in relief, the older ninja picked up the boy and held him close.

"I'm sorry, Naruto. I came too late." Kakashi grinned. "But you see I saw these flowers that just begged for me to pick them. And I couldn't turn down the flowers." He wasn't graced with an answer. He sunk to his knees, the younger ninja still held in his arms. He stared into the fox boy's face. And leaned close

Present

"Why am I remembering that day?" he asked to the monument. "That is a day I would rather forget. That is the reason, he left. All those, I had honestly believed he had only left because he wanted to train with Jiyrai. Turns out I was wrong. I never meant to hurt him. Never meant to force him away."

Two hours Earlier

He didn't bother knocking. He was pissed. He slammed the door open and stood in the doorway, panting angrily. His hands clenched and he ground his teeth together." Kakashi feigned sleep as if hoping that would make Naruto go away. But in the three years, he had been away Naruto had learned much and he saw right through Kakashi's ruse. He strode forward, door once again slammed. The jounin's tiny place shook. When Naruto stood at the edge of his bed, he opened his eyes and made to sit up and move away from him. But the boy now a young man had become fast as well in those three years. In an instant, the fox was straddling his former teacher, strong hands pinning his wrist to his bed. He growled and bowed his head, letting his blonde hair hide his blue eyes. Then he lifted up his head and stared at his former sensei, tears shimmering in his ocean eyes.

"You are an ass, you know." Naruto pushed his face closer to his former teacher. The silver haired jounin did not answer. Naruto tightened his grips on the man's wrists.

"It was wrong of you to kiss me then. How could you? I was so young, so naïve and innocent. What possessed you to kiss me? What made you think it was alright to?" Kakashi flushed red at Naruto's ramblings, but couldn't bring himself to answer. Even so, Naruto was not looking for answers, he just wanted closure.

"Y'know, ever since that day…I have been thinking. Thinking of that kiss and how it made me feel. And so I left, left for some time. I wanted to clear my head. To figure out exactly what I wanted. And each time I came back to the same conclusion. I wanted you and I still do. But heh, can you image that? A 13 year old deciding that he wants his sensei and not in the "I want him to teach me new things" way. Well I do want you to teach me new things. But not jutus or anything likes that. I want you to teach me what it means to be in love. To be in a relationship." He paused there for a moment, searching Kakashi's eye desperately for some sign. He was met with a blank stare. Sighing the blonde rested his head against the other's forehead for a moment.

"Don't you see? I love you. Despite what a jerk you have been to me since I have returned. Despite how you tormented me and abandoned me. I love you. I want to be with you.

Present

Kakashi's body was racked with what seemed to be a union between sobs and laughter. Love? Love was something Kakashi had abandoned long ago. With the death of his team and other ninjas he had determined love was a thing best left unknown. Yet sometime unknown to him, he had fallen in love with a little blonde hokage wannabe. And the blonde had been right; he had no right to kiss him then.

Three Years Ago

He leaned close to the unconscious boy and kissed him lightly on the lips through the mask. He didn't know what had possessed him to do so. As his cloth covered lips pressed against the boy's surprising soft one, Naruto stirred. Naruto's eyes fluttered open too see Kakashi intimately close to him. His heart pounded and his mind raced. What the hell?

"Ka-Kakashi sensei?" the blonde boy stammered out. The silver haired man froze feeling unable to breathe. He sat back and nearly dropped the injured Naruto.

"I…I...uh… the medical team should be here soon. Just hang on till then." Kakashi finally managed to push out after a moment.

"Ano...Sensei…why?" But Naruto was not given an answer.

Present

"Why did I kiss him then? When I had seen him lying there as if dead, all I could think about is how I did not want to live without him. My world was crashing down around me." He didn't have to turn around to know that someone was standing behind. He could feel the other's charka. And if he couldn't feel the charka, the person's overflowing anger was enough to choke someone.

"Bastard." The man shouted and made to stab Kakashi with his kunai. Easily Kakashi dodged it and reappeared behind his attacker, holding the man's arms.

"Iruka." Kakashi said. "Do you honestly believe killing me will fix what I did?

Two hours earlier

His speech over, Naruto let go of Kakashi's wrist and roughly pulled down his mask, this time, this kiss lips met lips. It was a bruising kiss, but full of passion. It was a moment of weakness for both Naruto and Kakashi. Naruto had left himself open to be pushed away, yet Kakashi did not push away. Slowly he lifted his hands up and pulled the younger man by the shoulders down closer to him. A soft moan escaped from Naruto's lips and Kakashi snaked his tongue inside the other's mouth. He was lost for a moment in the moment. Hands explored and hands teased. But it was only for a fleeting moment. Suddenly Naruto was pushed aside and without a word Kakashi disappeared. Leaving the young shinobi sitting on the bed quivering.

Present

"Naruto trusted you. Why did you do that to him?" Iruka spewed accusingly, his words still dripped with murderous intents like a snake's venom.

"I don't know. I have no reason, no excuse. It just happened." Kakashi loosened his grip on Iruka and the man turned to face him.

"Hurt him again and I will kill you. Understand." Kakashi nodded, doubtful that he would even have the chance to hurt Naruto again.

One Month Earlier

Sakura ran through the town, shouting at the top of her lungs. Kakashi didn't bother to even look up from his book until he heard her words clearly.

"Naruto is back! He is back!" She skidded to a stop in front of her former sensei. "He is back sensei! It is really him!" Kakashi snapped the book close and stood up from behind his mask he smiled at the pink haired girl and they both took off towards the gate.

It was true, he was there and he had grown into a beautiful young man. He stood there smiling and joking around with Rock Lee when Kakashi and Sakura arrived. Iruka was standing behind the blonde ninja a big smile plastered on his face. Kakashi had no doubt that Naruto had probably already begged for a ramen meal. Maybe he would also treat the "prodigal son" to one as well. Sakura wasted no time in hugging her teammate.

"Naruto welcome home!"

"Thank you Sakura-chan!" Naruto laughed hugging her back. His blue eyes scanned the gathering ninjas. He greeted each one in his usual warm and friendly banter. Then his eyes swept across Kakashi.

When Naruto eyes met Kakashi's eye, he turned cold and he just nodded.

"Ne! Buy me ramen now Iruka-sensei" Naruto's mood had changed rapidly and he was soon dragging poor Iruka behind him." Kakashi was stunned.

Night fell quietly and Kakashi found himself wandering around the town aimlessly. Naruto's cold treatment had burned him. Even Come Come Paradise could not grab his attention. Hands shoved in pockets, he walked the streets with no destination in particular. Somehow he found himself standing outside of Naruto's apartment, just below his bedroom window. He stared up at it and thought about his former charge.

"My eternal rival!" His thoughts were broken suddenly as Gai came walking up and stood beside him. Gai flashed a sparkling smile at his so-called rival then also turned to look up at Naruto's window.

"Do you think he has gotten any stronger?" Gai questioned Kakashi.

"I don't know. Maybe, maybe not. It is hard to say. He was always the weakest of his team and the most annoying. I was actually glad to see him go." He didn't know why he said that. It was far from the truth. It was a complete lie. He had wanted to go and drag that kid home back then. Gai just chuckled and then walked away, shaking his head.

A rustling above his head caused him to look upwards again and right into Naruto's eyes. The blonde glared down at him before slamming down the window. Kakashi's shoulder's drooped. Naruto had heard everything.

Present

Shooting one final warning glare at Kakashi, Iruka vanished. Alone once again, Kakashi returned to the monument's side.

"If I had died with you all then, I wouldn't be in this mess now."

"If you had died then, I wouldn't have been able to know you." Naruto's voice drifted down to his ears. Slowly Kakashi stood, still keeping his back to Naruto.

Two and a half hours ago.

He had managed to avoid Naruto for a full month. Every day his heart sank lower and lower. And he felt worse and worse. He was to the point of feeling less than dirt. Then he was assigned a mission with Naruto. As he stared at the mission paper, he felt sick to his stomach. He knew he was acting immature, but he was not ready to face Naruto yet. The next day, he lied to Iruka saying he was sick and asked him to go on the mission instead.

When Iruka appeared instead of Kakashi at the meeting place, Naruto was disappointed. When he heard Kakashi's excused, Naruto snorted loudly and stomped off.

Present

"Don't you understand?" Naruto questioned "You cannot hide from your feelings. I forgive you for saying those words. I forgive you for kissing me then. I forgive you for running off on me earlier. I just want to know what I need to do to make me love you."

Twenty Minutes Ago

Iruka walked up to Kakashi's place. He was bringing some cold medicine to the copy nin and to inform him how the mission went. (Which wasn't very well beings instead of three ninjas, it had been him and Chouji as Naruto had ran off and was not to be found anywhere.) He knocked rapidly on the door three times. When he received no answer, he figured Kakashi was probably sleeping. Deciding to leave the medicine on the table, Iruka opened the door.

"Naruto?" His startled reply caused the blonde ninja to jump. Iruka could tell from Naruto's red eyes that his favourite student had been crying. Tossing the medicine aside, Iruka ran over to the younger's side.

"Where is Kakashi?" receiving only a shrug, Iruka hugged Naruto. With a ragged breath, Naruto threw his arms around the man who had been like a brother to him and told him everything.

TBC

Let me know what you think.