Channel Surfing by:Deedlit Magic
Seamus Finnigan sat on his bed trying to do his best at the Potions problem he was given. Ron Weasley was trying to figure his out also. "Hey Seamus, what is this thing?" His mind had wandered and he was looking through Seamus's Muggle items.
"Oh it's a remote...It um...You remember the Omniocculars? Well, it works with a device that kind of is like Omniocculars. It records things people do and plays it back and this changes the things you are watching." He tried to explain. Ron wasn't brilliant when it came to science. "I don't know how it got in my trunk. I just found it."
"Oh. So it changes what people do?" He got an evil look. "Can I borrow this, thanks, see you later, I've just remembered something I have to do!" He dashed out of the room.
"No it doesn't...Sure, what ever. You are the one who's going to have to face Snape." He went back to his work after telling the empty room his thoughts.
Meanwhile Ron was heading for his brothers. He explained what it did...What he thought it did and they more then happily agreed to make it work in the wizarding world.
The next morning Ron, Harry, and Hermione went to Potions and sat down. "Mister Weasley, your paper please?"
Ron pointed the remote at Snape and pushed a button. Snape blinked for a moment, then went back to the front of the room. "Okay everybody!" He said it in the most cheerful, perky voice known to man. Everyone went stiff, and stared at him. He tossed off his robes and stood in spandex.
"Remember, yes you can! Now everyone get out your potions and reach and back! Now jog in place."
"What the bloody hell?!?" Seamus blinked.
Hermione had turned to Ron. "What did you do? Richard Simmons?!? Are you crazy?"
"Who?" Ron grinned.
"A Muggle exercise coach. Listen Ron, you better change him back."
Harry had about died from the horrible view. "Gross, at least make him put back on his cloths."
"No!" One of the Slytherin girls protested.
There was a mad scuffle and suddenly Snape was hollering. They all froze. "Blimey, these Hogwarts Students are sure active. Note how the males struggle to assert themselves over the females and one another." Snape was wearing a black safari outfit. He seized Malfoy by the ankle and was pointing to various items of his apparel. "You can tell this feisty little devil is a male because of the pants and shoes. You can also distinguish which pride he is in by the striped markings on his belly and around his neck. Crikey!"
Meanwhile Malfoy way yelling. "Let me go! Professor?! Help!"
Finally someone managed to stop laughing enough to push a button. Steve Erwin was replaced by Emril Legosi. Draco was dropped and the teacher was suddenly wearing an apron over his robes. "Let's kick it up a notch!" He grabbed a cauldron and began putting things in it while telling them chickens didn't come spiced and such. It was odd, but they all settled down and watched in fascination. He got them to yell BAM as he spiced the dish. "And there we have it, a chicken soup guaranteed to keep any cold at bay!"
They all had a bowl, which was pretty good and then pushed a button again. Snape was back to normal. "Give me that!" He lunged for Weasley and Parkins who scattered. The bell rang and they took off running.
They managed to avoid him until lunch, but he wasn't there. No, the real confrontation was at dinner. When they walked in, Snape was sitting at the head table, but he stood immediately. Ron changed his channel real fast.
Snape suddenly was wearing a hat and tails. He leapt up on the table and danced around, singing "I'm singing in the rain" and kicking things off the table as he went.
The whole room was in an uproar. Dumbledore was doubled over laughing and only McGonagall had a strait face.
"Thank you Severus, that WILL do." McGonagall told Snape in a shrill voice.
"If you feel we need dinner entertainment, let the ghosts do it!"
Finally Dumbledore magicked Snape's serenade to an end and the remote from Ron. He pocketed it with a boyish grin.
Well, finally the jokes died down and the remote was forgotten. Ok, so it was still something every student wanted his or her hands on. Not only had it caused much entertainment, it had shown more possibilities then any other antic the twins had ever created. And horror of all horrors they found another one.
Not only did they find it with out aid, they found it in Filtch's office, presumably taken from a student for one reason or the other. Well, they fixed it up right and in the next class Snape got it. He was droning on about irresponsibility, then he burst out with a feminine high voice. "Ruby Rod here coming at you live from five to seven Tuesday through Saturday. This is the greenest show this side of the Milky Way. Oh my god I am so excited to be here, I've never been in a dungeon before and.." The cauldron on Crabbe's desk went flying. "Oh my god Corby my man, this aint right, I mean I don't feel right..." He noted his sleeve was on fire. "Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" He went running around the room screaming his head off shrilly. He stopped to catch his breath then started up again. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Students watched him run around the room screaming his head off. "Should we put him out?" George asked with a grin.
"I suppose." Fred shrugged and they cast a water spell on him.
"Oh my god, this is Ruby Rod, still alive..." He passed out.
They pushed a button and he picked up his head weakly. "For dry eyes try clear eyes, it relieves redness and has an ingredient to moisturize...wow." He passed out again.
"Push it again Fred!" Lee urged.
Snape sprang us off the floor. "Hup! Whoa mama!"
McGonagall came into the room. "Severus, I was wondering if..."
"Hey there pretty lady." Snape put his arm around her. "How bout a kiss?"
She slapped him so hard he colided with the wall about five feet away. "Severus Snape! What in the Bloody Hell is wrong with you?!?!"
They mashed a button and Snape blinked at her. "Err, sorry about that Minerva, I have some students to maim if you will excuse me." He lunged at George. Fred remoted him. "Let me at 'em I'll fillet 'em!" He sounded like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz.
"Weasley! Put him back this instant!!!"
"I can't." He shrugged, he pushed the button again.
"Deedee, you are stupid! Get out of my Laboratory!"
"Mister Weasley!" McGonagall lunged for him. The remote got her.
"Hehehe, Dexter, you're so funny! Lalalala I'm a ballerina!" She did a twirl.
"Make it stop!" Someone whimpered.
"Trying!" The twins chimed as they tried putting in numbers.
"Awe, look at them all Misty, I bet I can catch more Poke'mon then you." Snape sounded like a little kid.
"Ha! If anyone can catch these Gryffindors and Slytherins it's gonna be me, Ash!" Both of them pulled out red and white balls and began pelting the classroom with them.
Some students disappeared into balls, others got knocked out or bruised. The absolute chaos was amazing as students ran for their lives.
"This is boring, lets go hunt down some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs!" Snape SKIPPED!?! Out the door and into the hall.
"Give me that!" A Slytherin snatched at the remote. All he managed was shattering it on the floor and zapping the twins.
"Prepare for trouble" Fred grinned.
"And make it double" George smiled.
"To protect the world from devastation." Fred continued.
"To unite all people with in our nation." George echoed.
"To defeat the powers of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jessie." Fred proclaimed.
"James." George struck a pose.
The two finished together. "Team rocket blast of at the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight."
"Meowth, that's right!" The Slytherin boy popped up behind them.
Lee Jordan went cross-eyed. "This is so not right..." Perhaps it was the outfit Fred was wearing that disturbed him most. The girls usually wore the miniskirts and tank tops after all. They had run off after the teachers by the time he could think to stop them from doing it.
The carnage was apparent as he glanced around the room. Students helped each other to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was overwhelmed with the need of her services.
When Lee made his way down to the great hall Snape was proclaiming, "Pikachu, I chose you!" He cast a ball on the floor and it spit Lavander Brown onto the floor. She began to cry. "Oh no, what's wrong with him?!"
"Ha, amature, watch a real trainer at work. Psyduck, come out!" Neville was dropped on his butt.
"I'm sorry I messed up my transfigurations Professor McGonagall!" He wailed as the room watched on from a safe distance.
"Someone do something, the teachers have gone mental!" Ron looked around.
"Just give us the Pikachu and nobody gets hurt!" Fred growled. This is when Ron discovered just what his brother was wearing and went red.
Dumbledore appeared from no place in particular and aimed the first remote at them.
"Alfred, to the bat cave." Snape dashed off to his classroom.
"Coming Sir." McGonagall waddled after him.
"Finite Incatatem." Hermione ended the nonsense.
~ THE END ~
Seamus Finnigan sat on his bed trying to do his best at the Potions problem he was given. Ron Weasley was trying to figure his out also. "Hey Seamus, what is this thing?" His mind had wandered and he was looking through Seamus's Muggle items.
"Oh it's a remote...It um...You remember the Omniocculars? Well, it works with a device that kind of is like Omniocculars. It records things people do and plays it back and this changes the things you are watching." He tried to explain. Ron wasn't brilliant when it came to science. "I don't know how it got in my trunk. I just found it."
"Oh. So it changes what people do?" He got an evil look. "Can I borrow this, thanks, see you later, I've just remembered something I have to do!" He dashed out of the room.
"No it doesn't...Sure, what ever. You are the one who's going to have to face Snape." He went back to his work after telling the empty room his thoughts.
Meanwhile Ron was heading for his brothers. He explained what it did...What he thought it did and they more then happily agreed to make it work in the wizarding world.
The next morning Ron, Harry, and Hermione went to Potions and sat down. "Mister Weasley, your paper please?"
Ron pointed the remote at Snape and pushed a button. Snape blinked for a moment, then went back to the front of the room. "Okay everybody!" He said it in the most cheerful, perky voice known to man. Everyone went stiff, and stared at him. He tossed off his robes and stood in spandex.
"Remember, yes you can! Now everyone get out your potions and reach and back! Now jog in place."
"What the bloody hell?!?" Seamus blinked.
Hermione had turned to Ron. "What did you do? Richard Simmons?!? Are you crazy?"
"Who?" Ron grinned.
"A Muggle exercise coach. Listen Ron, you better change him back."
Harry had about died from the horrible view. "Gross, at least make him put back on his cloths."
"No!" One of the Slytherin girls protested.
There was a mad scuffle and suddenly Snape was hollering. They all froze. "Blimey, these Hogwarts Students are sure active. Note how the males struggle to assert themselves over the females and one another." Snape was wearing a black safari outfit. He seized Malfoy by the ankle and was pointing to various items of his apparel. "You can tell this feisty little devil is a male because of the pants and shoes. You can also distinguish which pride he is in by the striped markings on his belly and around his neck. Crikey!"
Meanwhile Malfoy way yelling. "Let me go! Professor?! Help!"
Finally someone managed to stop laughing enough to push a button. Steve Erwin was replaced by Emril Legosi. Draco was dropped and the teacher was suddenly wearing an apron over his robes. "Let's kick it up a notch!" He grabbed a cauldron and began putting things in it while telling them chickens didn't come spiced and such. It was odd, but they all settled down and watched in fascination. He got them to yell BAM as he spiced the dish. "And there we have it, a chicken soup guaranteed to keep any cold at bay!"
They all had a bowl, which was pretty good and then pushed a button again. Snape was back to normal. "Give me that!" He lunged for Weasley and Parkins who scattered. The bell rang and they took off running.
They managed to avoid him until lunch, but he wasn't there. No, the real confrontation was at dinner. When they walked in, Snape was sitting at the head table, but he stood immediately. Ron changed his channel real fast.
Snape suddenly was wearing a hat and tails. He leapt up on the table and danced around, singing "I'm singing in the rain" and kicking things off the table as he went.
The whole room was in an uproar. Dumbledore was doubled over laughing and only McGonagall had a strait face.
"Thank you Severus, that WILL do." McGonagall told Snape in a shrill voice.
"If you feel we need dinner entertainment, let the ghosts do it!"
Finally Dumbledore magicked Snape's serenade to an end and the remote from Ron. He pocketed it with a boyish grin.
Well, finally the jokes died down and the remote was forgotten. Ok, so it was still something every student wanted his or her hands on. Not only had it caused much entertainment, it had shown more possibilities then any other antic the twins had ever created. And horror of all horrors they found another one.
Not only did they find it with out aid, they found it in Filtch's office, presumably taken from a student for one reason or the other. Well, they fixed it up right and in the next class Snape got it. He was droning on about irresponsibility, then he burst out with a feminine high voice. "Ruby Rod here coming at you live from five to seven Tuesday through Saturday. This is the greenest show this side of the Milky Way. Oh my god I am so excited to be here, I've never been in a dungeon before and.." The cauldron on Crabbe's desk went flying. "Oh my god Corby my man, this aint right, I mean I don't feel right..." He noted his sleeve was on fire. "Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" He went running around the room screaming his head off shrilly. He stopped to catch his breath then started up again. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Students watched him run around the room screaming his head off. "Should we put him out?" George asked with a grin.
"I suppose." Fred shrugged and they cast a water spell on him.
"Oh my god, this is Ruby Rod, still alive..." He passed out.
They pushed a button and he picked up his head weakly. "For dry eyes try clear eyes, it relieves redness and has an ingredient to moisturize...wow." He passed out again.
"Push it again Fred!" Lee urged.
Snape sprang us off the floor. "Hup! Whoa mama!"
McGonagall came into the room. "Severus, I was wondering if..."
"Hey there pretty lady." Snape put his arm around her. "How bout a kiss?"
She slapped him so hard he colided with the wall about five feet away. "Severus Snape! What in the Bloody Hell is wrong with you?!?!"
They mashed a button and Snape blinked at her. "Err, sorry about that Minerva, I have some students to maim if you will excuse me." He lunged at George. Fred remoted him. "Let me at 'em I'll fillet 'em!" He sounded like the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz.
"Weasley! Put him back this instant!!!"
"I can't." He shrugged, he pushed the button again.
"Deedee, you are stupid! Get out of my Laboratory!"
"Mister Weasley!" McGonagall lunged for him. The remote got her.
"Hehehe, Dexter, you're so funny! Lalalala I'm a ballerina!" She did a twirl.
"Make it stop!" Someone whimpered.
"Trying!" The twins chimed as they tried putting in numbers.
"Awe, look at them all Misty, I bet I can catch more Poke'mon then you." Snape sounded like a little kid.
"Ha! If anyone can catch these Gryffindors and Slytherins it's gonna be me, Ash!" Both of them pulled out red and white balls and began pelting the classroom with them.
Some students disappeared into balls, others got knocked out or bruised. The absolute chaos was amazing as students ran for their lives.
"This is boring, lets go hunt down some Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs!" Snape SKIPPED!?! Out the door and into the hall.
"Give me that!" A Slytherin snatched at the remote. All he managed was shattering it on the floor and zapping the twins.
"Prepare for trouble" Fred grinned.
"And make it double" George smiled.
"To protect the world from devastation." Fred continued.
"To unite all people with in our nation." George echoed.
"To defeat the powers of truth and love."
"To extend our reach to the stars above."
"Jessie." Fred proclaimed.
"James." George struck a pose.
The two finished together. "Team rocket blast of at the speed of light, surrender now or prepare to fight."
"Meowth, that's right!" The Slytherin boy popped up behind them.
Lee Jordan went cross-eyed. "This is so not right..." Perhaps it was the outfit Fred was wearing that disturbed him most. The girls usually wore the miniskirts and tank tops after all. They had run off after the teachers by the time he could think to stop them from doing it.
The carnage was apparent as he glanced around the room. Students helped each other to the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was overwhelmed with the need of her services.
When Lee made his way down to the great hall Snape was proclaiming, "Pikachu, I chose you!" He cast a ball on the floor and it spit Lavander Brown onto the floor. She began to cry. "Oh no, what's wrong with him?!"
"Ha, amature, watch a real trainer at work. Psyduck, come out!" Neville was dropped on his butt.
"I'm sorry I messed up my transfigurations Professor McGonagall!" He wailed as the room watched on from a safe distance.
"Someone do something, the teachers have gone mental!" Ron looked around.
"Just give us the Pikachu and nobody gets hurt!" Fred growled. This is when Ron discovered just what his brother was wearing and went red.
Dumbledore appeared from no place in particular and aimed the first remote at them.
"Alfred, to the bat cave." Snape dashed off to his classroom.
"Coming Sir." McGonagall waddled after him.
"Finite Incatatem." Hermione ended the nonsense.
~ THE END ~