Blood leaked through my open wound, starting from my left ear and ending in my right eye. I couldn't see a thing, blinded my redness and pain, horrible pain. I screamed my captains name over and over in my mind as my body smashed against the hard floor with a thud. My right ankle was now in pain, along with my lower back. The excruciating pain rushed to my head, overwhelming my body. The last thing I head was some one telling me they were sorry, it sounded like Kyouraku-taicho and then his voice faded away after that, my mind blanked out.
I opened my eyes to see nothing but darkness, everywhere I turned it was pitch black. I panicked, feeling around my face frantically. I felt around for my glasses and felt someone's hand take mine, the hand was well calloused like this person had endured a lot of things like, fighting and war. The hand was also warm and reassuring, which was exactly what I needed right now.
Tears spilled from my blinded eyes and I lunged in and hugged whoever the hand from before belonged too. Then, the person hugged me back and I cried into this person's chest for about an hour until they said something and I knew exactly who they were.
"I'm so sorry, Nanao-chan. I let them hurt you and Unohana said that you may never be able to see again.... And it's all my fault. I hope you can forgive me..." The voice belonged to my captain, he sounded sad too. I longed to see his friendly face but, my vision was gone.
"It's fine, Kyouraku-taicho... I really didn't try hard enough to block the sword at that moment so, it is my fault..." I pushed myself away and a painful jolt surged through my back, causing me to fall back into the area I retreated from. I whimpered in pain as I slumped down, unable to move because of my limply bent back.
"Nanao-chan, are you okay?" He asked, laying me back down into the soft fabric below me. Wait, I was in the hospital? I guess that would explain a lot.
"Am I in the hospital... What about the mission?" I asked, still unable to see where he was. Being blind would make me terribly rude, I wouldn't know where to look when I was talking to someone...
"Of course, you broke your back, ankle and... Your eyes were gouged pretty deep in. They were able to recover them but, they are not sure if your vision will return..." He painfully uttered the last few words, ignoring my question about the mission.
"I'm sorry that I won't be of use to you anymore, Taicho. If I am going to be blind then I better quit being your fukutaicho..." I murmured under my breath as more tears dripped onto the cotton below.
"Never! You'll still be my fukutaicho, always and forever. I'll just guide you around and help you is all. I promised I would never leave your side, remember? So, if you quit, I would quit too..." He said, causing memories to flood back of all the times he promised me things. Things I thought were just jokes or bluffs, was there really truth behind those words...? I felt too ashamed to speak now so, I just laid there crying.
"Are you alright, Nanao-chan? Do you need a hug..?" He asked me, and I turned my head toward the voice and nodded then, scooped me up into a hug and pet my head with one hand and held my limp body with the other. The hug was warm and comforting, making my tears pour and cheeks flush a rosy red. Why was I going blind, of all the things this was the worst for me. My usefulness to him was disappearing...
"I'm sorry..." I whimpered, grabbing at his clothes and gritting my teeth.
"Sorry? I'm the one who should be sorry. You did nothing wrong..." He sounded upset, yet, his calming voice was so soothing I decided to just nod and bury myself into his chest. Why did he have to be so nice? Why? He would be better off getting a new fukutaicho.
"Don't cry Nanao-chan and don't you dare think that getting a replacement for you would be better..." He said, as if he knew what I was thinking.
"Why not?" I uttered, quickly wishing I hadn't.
"Because, I care about you, even if you can't do my work anymore, clean or anything else you used to do... Like rea-... I'm so sorry Nanao!!" He announced, embracing me tightly. A uncanny warmth was dripping onto my head, tears perhaps? I couldn't move nor, could I see.
"I can't forgive myself... I took away one of your favorite things to do. It's all my fault." He murmured into my ear, causing me to be confused and blush at the same time. I was confused because I wondered why he was so convinced it was his fault and I was blushing because of the warm feeling I got when his lips almost touched my ear. It was an uneasy feeling, so warm and reassuring yet, so embarrassing and addictive. The hug had brought it up as well, this feeling, was a good one. At least I think it was.
"Do you want me to read you a book, Nanao?" My taicho asked, causing me to grip at his clothes again for comfort. Why did he offer to read to me was it... Oh, right, I'm blind. I hope I'm not becoming dumb too.
"You don't have too if your busy, Taicho." I offered to stay unread to and he took no notice.
"It's settled then, I shall go get you a book. Is there one you were reading before the mission?" He asked, laying me back down in the bed, followed by the sound of footsteps, becoming quieter. It was as if someone was walking away. Was he really going to get me a book?
"There is a book I was reading, taicho... It's on your desk." I said dryly, staring into nothing. Because there was nothing to stare at, life seemed dull. With my senses I could create a picture but, it was nowhere compared to what I remember seeing. I heard the door shut closed and the room grew silent. So silent in fact, I could hear my rapidly heart beat decreasing. The monotonous sound of the rain against the window filled the environment, bringing a beat for my hearts song. The whole room was really filled with music once you realized it... Just most people focus on pictures and not the almost invisible sounds all around them.
Maybe being blind wasn't the end of my world yet, things still seemed beautiful and I didn't have to do work anymore. Though, I worry about my taicho, can he even do his paperwork? I guess I should think about that much because he wouldn't offer to do it it he couldn't. He could always ask the third seat but, I doubt he would trouble him with affairs such as these. He was a kind person, really. I never notice it all to much but, when I think back on it, he was always helping me. As well as flirting with me and teasing me. He couldn't possibly care that deeply for me right? Just as a friend and his fukutaicho... Right?