DIS: Life is life and sometimes life is hard. It wasn't meant to be easy. I'm back with some illusionshipping!!!
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Title: The Bitter Taste Of Life
Rating: T for mild content
Genre: Drama/Angst
Summary: Illusionshipping. Demons are supposed to be evil, yet this one seemed to be an angel to Mai Kujaku. Waiting on the edge of ugly humanity, she needs something to make things better. She never imagined it could be death. One shot. Dark fic.
Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh
Notes/Warnings: illusionshipping; one shot; slightly dark fic; AU
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The Bitter Taste Of Life
The sweet sense of intoxication rose over all other logical senses. This always happened when Mai Kujaku was out drinking. The smell of booze, sweat, and a mixture of perfumes and cologne smelled familiar to her, though the smell barely registered to her. The music was loud, the bass beating against her skull, throbbing, but this, too, was something that she did not notice. Her dance partner's hands were everywhere, eager to please and eager to take, his body grinding against hers. And even though she was moving her slender body in tune to the music, her eyes were focused ahead of her without even seeing the crowds of people laughing in sexual arousal. For a moment, a flicker of comprehension entered her dulled mind.
She hated this.
She hated the whole damn situation, these damn people, and hell, since she hated those people that were virtually exactly like her, she hated herself. But, really, she didn't hate herself, just what she had become. The man grinding against her was panting and as the intoxication wore off, disgust swelled in her stomach, rising bile to her throat. Her lips twisted as she felt a hard jab against her hip, a subtle hint that he was ready to do a little more than dancing.
Finally sick of the night, she shoved away and he squawked something, cursing and glowering at her greedily. "Fuck off, pig," she snapped through his words. To make a point, she tucked her thumb underneath her fingers and made a fist. He saw the action a moment too late as she raised her hand and drove it into her face. Tossing her blonde curls over her shoulder after seeing him hit the ground with a satisfying thud, she turned and shoved through the people that had paused, looking from the man to her in curiosity, clearly wondering what had happened. Irritated with their nosiness, she left the club and escaped into the cool, brisk air. It was summer, yet the night was still cool at fifty-eight degrees. She glanced at the bouncer, glaring at a few younger men ogling her that were obviously attempting to get in with fake IDs. "What are you looking at?!" she demanded. They flinched and hastily turned away.
Mai continued on, her face set into a dark expression that warned off any men that may have attempted to hit on her. She was a beautiful woman, yet while Mai had used to flaunt her beauty and use it, she felt very little for her looks anymore. She simply did what she did with her hair and clothes and cosmetics, caring nothing for what she looked like anymore. She felt as though she had fouled up her own body and was simply another woman now, only a lot less clean and a lot less attractive than she had been before she had run away from home.
It seemed like a good idea at the moment, she mused, the click clack of her heels sounding on the sidewalk. There was a hum of conversation around her in the pleasure district of town. There were low voices in alleys, of men making deals or scheming something for the night. As she passed a bar, the flashing, neon lights advertising beer on the windows made her face glow an ethereal colour. An older woman was leaning against the building, smoking a cigarette, her expression similar to that of Mai's. Mai glanced at her, her mouth turning down further. If I had stayed at home, maybe I would still be a virgin. Maybe I wouldn't go to the bars and the night clubs for kicks. Maybe I would have stayed in school. Maybe I would have done better for myself. I could be better. If I tried, I could be better, but I just don't have the initiative anymore. It's not worth it.
Mai crossed a street, ignoring the honk of a car as it came to a stop at the crosswalk. She continued down the street until there were no sounds any longer and all she could hear were her footsteps. The buildings began to become scarce until she was at an old, abandoned house. It had been sitting on the outskirts of the town for ages and no one dared come near it because of how superstitious they were. As for Mai, it was completely different compared to the life she led that she always came to the house for comfort. There was an old graveyard behind the house that she liked to sit by, pretending that she knew those people and mourned the death. In reality, the tombstones were so faded that she couldn't even read the names on them any longer.
Traveling around the house, she took her spot underneath a cherry tree and sighed heavily, closing her eyes. As she was wearing a skirt, the grass pricked her skin, causing a faint itch on her legs. Ignoring it, she tilted her head back and slipped her shoes off to bury her toes in the damp grass. It was silent all around her, save for crickets chirping from the graveyard. She sat for nearly twenty minutes to allow the tension to ease out of her body before opening her eyes. She looked up in the tree and frowned in puzzlement.
There were eyes staring back at her.
"Back again, my dear?" a voice purred from above her.
Any normal person would have screamed, jumped up, or ran away. However, Mai simply stared back at the man that was sitting in the tree, a lazy smirk curling his mouth upward. It was no wonder she had not noticed him before, as he was dressed in all black and his skin was the colour of toffee. His wild, dirty blonde hair was obscured in shadow. She wondered if he was a ghost. "Who are you?" she asked him calmly.
"Do you not fear death?"
"Are you death?" she returned, sensing that if they continued answering questions with questions, they were going to get very little done.
"More or less," he replied. "I watch over this graveyard, to make certain these sinful souls do not escape to a place where they can be forgiven. I am a demon of Hell." He leaned back in the shadows and then slid down the tree, floating down in front of her. She noticed then that there were massive, black wings attached to his back. They had a shiny surface and appeared thick the closer they were to his body and thinner the further away they were. There was no way they could be fake or else he would be tipping over from the objects.
"Am I dead?" Mai asked, a seemingly logical question in the circumstances. After all, one did not see demons on an every day occurrence.
"Not quite, my dear." His heavy eyes narrowed in dark amusement, his lips parting to reveal unnaturally pointed canines. "No...You are near the last step to enter death. To enter Hell," he added thoughtfully. She nodded, unsurprised to learn that she was going to Hell. After all that she had done, it would have been a great shock if she ended up in Heaven. But then, Mai had never been a very religious woman and would not have believed either of them existed until tonight. Not that she was convinced this was reality, that is. "Every time you've come here...I have seen you." His head tilted slightly as he surveyed her limp form leaning against the tree. "I have heard your screams, watched you cry, and you never once knew that the next time you came here, a little more of you had died. You can't even cry anymore, can you, little Mai?"
"Crying is for the weak," she spat out, unnerved that someone had watched her turmoil from the shadows.
"Oh, yes," he agreed without a pause. She stiffened, readying herself for flight when he took a step towards her. He leaned down and she tried pulling away from him, but found that she was stuck in her position. Cold sweat broke out on her face as her heartbeat quickened with fear. His lavender eyes met hers as he cupped the back of her head, her silky locks spilling over his wrist. His gaze flickered down and he trailed his hand down her neck and held his palm where her heart was. "There's nothing left for me to kill, so why should you fear?" The words made her heartbeat slow and she felt a horrible wrench in her stomach. He straightened and when she found she could move, she collapsed forward, her stomach heaving out what little was in her stomach. She could feel the demon's presence above her and started to tremble, whimpering feebly to herself without shedding any tears. "Life...leaves such a bitter taste."
"God, I hate this...I hate this so much."
"God?" he repeated thoughtfully. "You are still praying to a thing that has no love for you? Does anyone love you?"
"Shut up, shut up, I hate you, I hate you."
"The only person you should hate in this world...is yourself," he quietly said to her. She released a low moan of misery, raising her hands to her head and digging her fingers in her scalp. "Yourself. Your choices have led you to this place, my dear, and while you acknowledge that, you have done nothing. Choices cannot be erased. You cannot step on the same path twice."
"What do you want?" she screamed at last, whipping around. "For God's sake, what do you want with me?! You've watched me suffer! You've watched my whole life fall apart, so what could you possibly want with me? I'm nothing! Can't you see that?" Mai stumbled to her feet and spat on the ground, hating the putrid smell of vomit behind her, the taste of it in her mouth. "My choices have led me nowhere. I'm worthless. I can accept that! Just leave me be already! Just let me be alone!"
He smiled unpleasantly and took a step. She raised her eyes to his face, shaking from anger. She tensed as his hands took her shoulders, running over her small shoulders and then down to cup her elbows and pull her forward. "If you invite death to your bed tonight, you won't have to suffer." His smiled turned cruel and she flinched as sharp nails dug into her skin. Warm liquid trickled down her arm and she fought not to cry. She had told herself that she would not cry. "You won't ever have to suffer again. You'll be dead."
"I don't want to die."
His nails dug deeper and she bit down on her lip, knowing that if she trying to pull away, it would only make it hurt worse. The demon gave a hard smile and removed one of his hands, taking her face in his hand and smearing her own blood on her fair skin. "An angel is an angel to those who drink in their lies. A demon is a demon who believes an angel's lies. Their roles can be reversed. I can save you from this wretched humanity and you can sin without feeling guilty, without feeling disgusted."
"I don't want to die!"
"But you do, my dear, or why else would you find such comfort where corpses are buried?"
Mai stared at him, horrified by his morbid implication. She no longer cared if she hurt herself. She wrenched herself away, crying out a little as his nails drug through her skin, tearing it. She stumbled away from him, clenching her eyes and teeth at the pain in her arms. His low chuckle made a shiver run up her spine. The whole world seemed to be spinning in front of her and as her gaze slid from the ground up to the sky, she found herself falling, falling to the lush grass beneath her. She felt cool air smooth over her face as she fell and then a sharp pain in her hip from hitting a tiny rock. Everything was still again; still and deathly quiet. Mai could feel a pool of blood beneath her from the wounds on her arms. She blinked up at the inky black sky that held the white sparkles of stars .It was all obscured when the demon came to settle above her, not quite sitting on her, but hovering. His hand found its way into her hair again. She said and did nothing as he leaned down, resting his lips against her ear.
"Death loves misery," he whispered laughingly.
It took a moment for her to realize she was about to truly die. It took another moment for her to understand that only her body was about to die; this demon was going to steal her. Her lips parted and a bitter, but genuine laugh escaped her throat and she said one last thing:
"I am...misery."
Finis
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DIS: This was a weird story and definitely not my usual kind of writing. I'm not sure why it ended up that way. Originally, this was going to be a little more...oh, I don't know...cheerful? :P But in any case, please leave a review and tell me how you liked it. Ciao!