John's worries about Returning to TB

It's been at least six months since The Hood attacked the Island and Thunderbird 5. Now that Five has nearly finished being repaired, I am looking forward to going back up there. My mind is telling me that I am ready for this but my heart tells me differently. I know that Dad wants me back up on Five; Virgil is trying to tell Dad to give me more time. Sometimes I think that Virgil is right, I don't know what to do. Do I let Scott and Virgil take me up? Do I let one of them stay with me while I settle back into my 'bird? I find myself asking as I make my way to Dad's office to have a chat with him about this situation.

"Come in, John."

"Hey, Dad, any chance of a chat? I'm just a little bit worried about returning to Five. I know that a few weeks ago I told you that I would be fine with it, i'm sorry. In all honesty though, Dad, I am really unsure about it now." I explained to my Dad.

"John; you will be fine once you get up there. Don't forget we spent six weeks getting Five back online, and you were a big part in that, son. So you know more about Five then any of the rest of us put together. Are you scared deep down that this could happen again?"

"No, Dad, I am not scared, just so unsure what to do about it or think of it right now. I don't want Alan or Gordon thinking that I am running away from it."

"Look, John, Don't worry about what your brothers think. Why you don't see when you get up there, see how things go. If it doesn't work then we will wait till you are ready, all we can do is give it a chance and see what happens."

"Okay, Dad, I will give it a chance. What time are Scott and Virgil taking me up?"

"Whenever you are ready, they are doing some training with Alan this morning, but once they are done, then I am sure they will take you up. You will be fine once you get up there, John. Okay, it took you this long to recover, but both Virgil and Brains cleared you for duty a month ago."

"I know, Dad. Well, I better go and get ready then."

It was just after dinner by the time Scott and Virgil took me up to Five. If I am honest I didn't know how I was going to react. It could either go good or bad, but, I know that both my brothers will be there to pick me up if needs be.

A couple of hours later we arrived at Five, Scott and Virgil had to talk me into walking into the air lock. I usually can't wait to get onto Five, but now everything seem different for me this time.

Once we were aboard Five, Scott and Virgil decided to give me some space, and went to get my bags from Three. When they came back, Scott had that look on his face and I knew right away what he was up to. I started looking around Five, it's a wonder that Scott didn't want to stay up here with me for a couple of days to make sure I settle back into my baby.

"Hey, John, are you ready to man Five again?" asked Scott.

When Scott asked me that, I realised that I had to tell both my brothers how I was feeling about all of this. There was no point in avoiding it now; these are my brothers after all.

"Do you want me to be honest with you both? Part of me is telling me that I am ready for this, the other part of me is telling me something completely different. What do I do guys? I don't want to disappoint Dad, Gordon, and Alan."

"John, nobody is going to judge you for this, if you aren't ready then its no big deal. At least you came up here and tried." Virgil said to me.

"Would you like me to give Dad a call, let him know that you weren't ready to come back up?"

"Could you?"

Whilst Scott was calling Dad, Virgil took me back to Three. I felt bad because my brothers gave up their own time to bring me up here."

"Thunderbird 5 to Thunderbird 3."

"Go ahead Scott."

"Just been speaking to Dad. He wants me to stay up here for a week, Brains says that he will take over till John is ready again."

"Okay,Scott. We will call you once we arrive home and Scott...?"

"Yes John?"

"Thanks for being an amazing big brother."

"You're welcome. Five out."

As soon as Scott came off the line, Virgil turned to me and said "You don't think that Scott offered to stay there,do you?"

"Oh, who knows with Scott." I said with a smile.

The end