Summary: Kurogane can't handle these swirling feelings anymore. He wants to test his heart, if you will, by forgetting everything and everyone that is causing his confusion. But when he remembers, can he undue the damage he has caused? KuroxFai.
Disclaimer: I do not own Tsubasa or xxxHolic.
Warnings: Boyxboy, OCC (I tried my best, but I think I went a little off on Kurogane).
Hello, Hello.
I know! I should have had this out a lot sooner than now, but I was being so lazy, and I have been working on the story…..just very, very slowly.
So this is the rewritten version of my original on my older account…I don't remember my penname from before.
~Anyway, enjoy it. I hope I did a good job rewriting it.
Reclaiming What Was Lost
By: PurpleCranberi
Part One
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Yuuko smiled warmly as she noticed one of her previous customers had returned. She always took pride in when they returned, it meant that she did her job well and they wanted more of her services. Or they were just plain desperate.
It was coming up to a year since she last saw his face in this area-he seemed to avoid her neighbourhood like the plague, so she was completely surprised to realize that it was indeed him in front of her, looking a little stressed out.
She could never forget the warrior, or his gang of dimension travelers. Their main objective was to regain all of Sakura's feathers, yet all four of them benefitted out of their companionship, in one way or another.
Once the entire ordeal blew over, Yuuko granted them their request of being able to remain together in her dimension. It was the least she could do for them since they put a stop to Fei Wong Reed's plans; and since they all seemed to be mutually aware that if they returned to where they once came from, they might not ever be able to return to her without magical assistance.
Syaoran and Sakura instantly agreed, loving the idea of being able to be out of the eyes of her brother, and having to suck up to him for his blessing on their newfound relationship. Though, when the time came they would return-with Yuuko's help of course-to their world where they will be prepared to face his protectiveness. Until then, they found it better to stay.
Fai had agreed, not wanting to go back home for his own reasons, and Kurogane found himself agreeing without realizing it.
Which is why Yuuko was pleasantly surprised to see him showing up at her shop. She had indeed been expecting him to come back to ask to be returned to Nihon so he could protect Princess Tomoyo, but a lot sooner than a year later.
Yuuko quirked her lips into a smirk, knowing full well that the warrior before her was not here to ask for that; no he was here for an entirely different purpose.
"I wish to make a request."
Her lips curled into a snide smile.
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The blonde mage sighed and stood in the doorway of Sakura's bedroom. Fai could explicitly hear Syaoran fumbling through his room, some curses being thrown as he scavenged for his uniform.
"Sakura," the mage chirped stepping into the dimly lit room, "time to get up for school," he continued in that overly sweet voice of his.
Sakura opened her eyes slowly and looked at Fai, before mumbling something incoherent and tugging the covers closer to her body.
He sighed and looked towards the door, willing Kurogane to step in with his gruff attitude and force the teen out of the bed. He usually ended up doing this because Sakura was not a morning person, and Kurogane was not a patient person-those personality traits did not compliment each other but it worked in this kind of situation.
Fai shook his head and left the room, leaving this matter for Kurogane to fix. He always did anyway; he drove them to school while he went off to work.
As the mage entered the kitchen he saw the white Mokona sitting on the counter.
"Hey Mokona," he said sweetly and opened the fridge.
"Fai," Mokona began in a sad, low voice bringing the mage's attention to the white bun, "Yuuko…. wants to talk to you.…" The tone of voice used, made Fai stiffen; it didn't seem to be pleasant news.
Fai turned to look at her, nodding his head just as she opened her mouth and Yuuko's voice and face got projected from Mokona.
"Fai," Yuuko greeted, her grey eyes stabbed Fai in the chest, seemingly conveying a message of importance through them; a message Fai wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"I have been asked to tell you, from Kurogane, that he has gone back to Nihon," she spoke, ignoring the horror that flashed briefly flashed through the blonde's blue eyes, "he has gone to reunite with Princess Tomoyo, and continue his duty to her." She said gazing at the mage, something akin to sympathy in her eyes.
Not waiting for Fai to respond, Mokona killed the transmission and the witch's face disappeared.
Fai gripped the counter as he felt his eyes stinging. Kurogane had left before he could tell him…
He shook it off and looked at Mokona, who seemed to be holding back its own tears from hearing the news from Yuuko about their now missing warrior who wasn't coming back.
"I should go wake up Sakura," Fai mumbled and dazedly left the room, where Mokona was sniffing away its tears.
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It had been two weeks since Kurogane woken up in his bed not sure what was wrong but feeling as though something was off. He couldn't quite place it, but every morning when he woke, it seemed as though this place was wrong. Something important was missing…. but he didn't know what.
He groaned as he ran his fingers through his hair, his black spikes sticking up in every direction. His red eyes scanned his small room, drinking in the surroundings that seemed so foreign to him.
Everything from the year previous to now was a huge blank to the warrior.
Just a blank space, and it seemed important to remember. Not specifically for the events of the year prior, but for the people…his heart kept telling him that there were people he needed.
But every time he would search his head for it, he just got a really bad headache and his chest would constrict with emotions, emotions that didn't quite understand.
So during the day he pushed those thoughts and emotions back down. He was not about to let them drag him down into depression and questions that kept swirling non-stop in his mind.
However, at night he couldn't repress those thoughts, those feelings. They were overwhelming and suffocated him.
And it drove him mad! He hated this helpless feeling, he hated how when the doctor he went to told him that it 'takes time'. Pft, time was his enemy. Time was never on anybody's side, and it sure as hell wasn't on Kurogane's side.
So to overcome these feelings, he began looking for some work. God knows that eating bread, eggs, and rice for two weeks got boring. So he needed food, which required money, which meant work.
Kurogane ended up getting a job as security guard at a club that several no-name bands played at hoping for their 'big break'.
He hadn't thought much of it, he just happened to be searching through the adds in the paper and that one seemed fitting for him. Most of them were housekeeping jobs anyway.
There he met this strange young lad, Doumeki. He kept staring at Kurogane and was giving him the creeps.
No matter what glare or what snarl would come from Kurogane's mouth the young man did nothing to move or say anything. It was as though he was seeing someone else whenever he saw Kurogane.
They never spoke; they barely introduced each other, and then went off to do their own tasks. Kurogane never knew what Doumeki did, nor did he care, as long as he was far, far away from him.
That was until a week ago….
Just as the warrior was getting ready to leave for the day, Doumeki had walked over to him with poise, gaining Kurogane's attention.
'What does he want?' the red-eyed samurai asked, pulling on his jacket and glancing over at Doumeki.
He stood there with his charcoal black hair and demanding eyes that always seemed to give off a radiating 'fuck off' look.
"I was told to invite you out for drinks," he commanded and looked off to the side, as though this was of little-to no importance to him.
"Told?" Kurogane quirked an eyebrow and regarded Doumeki with a cool attitude.
"Yes, if you want to come. Come, if not. Don't." he replied and turned around and walked back towards the employee lounge.
'What the hell?' Kurogane thought but ignored it and shuffled out of the building. He was done his shift, no need to hang around.
That was a week ago, and everyday he would get the same 'invitation' and everyday Kurogane would reject it. I mean seriously, who the hell would accept that kind of 'invitation'?
Sighing Kurogane got out of bed and pulled out his uniform. There was no need to keep dwelling on his extremely weird coworker.
The more he thought about the offer for drinks the more he wondered, who kept inviting him. Who the hell wanted to meet him so bad?
Why does today seem so important?
He shrugged off the thoughts and got dressed, pulling on his socks and slipping on his shoes. He kept telling himself, like the doctor had told him when he had rushed in frantically telling him he couldn't remember anything from a year ago, that this takes time.
He growled thinking of time again before sighing.
Maybe he should just accept the offer for drinks. It could help, plus it seemed that whoever wanted to meet him was very persistent, or Doumeki was an ass and liked to pull his leg.
His heart hammered in his chest as he made up his mind that tonight he was going to go and meet the person who Doumeki had been reporting for.
Why do I feel like this is a one of the best mistake's I'll make?
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Kurogane once again scanned the name on the piece of paper that Doumeki had handed to him, ensuring he was at the right place, before he walked inside without a backwards glance.
The bar was filled with smoke, and the prominent scent of alcohol was in the air.
Part of him told him this was just a big bad mistake. He was off to meet someone who he doesn't know, not even the slightest bit. This guy could be a murderer, a mobster, a person from Nihon-whom he was really adamant about avoiding.
But another part was egging him on. Claiming he was paranoid and just being a big chicken. It was possible to be someone that he met from that one-year time gap in his memories and might have the answers to his problems...and that slightly terrified him.
The interior of the bar was quite dark, and the lighting was minimal. Brushing his hand through his hair, Kurogane took a seat at the far end of the bar, before glancing around-trying to spot whoever he was supposed to be meeting-maybe someone familiar will pop out and he'll know who he was meeting.
A blond bartender was standing off to the other side of the bar, talking adamantly to a customer. His hair loosely hanging down around his face, as a smile took over his face.
Kurogane shook his head and took back to searching through the bar instead of focusing on the bartender.
He noticed someone from a booth smiling at him, and waving him over. At first he thought the guy was waving to someone else, until Kurogane realized that there was nobody around him.
Is this the guy?
With his jet-black hair and sapphire eyes, the lean face and body, it didn't register in Kurogane's mind. He did not know this guy.
'I shouldn't have come,' he thought in distress, and got off the bar stool and strode towards the booth, ignoring the laughter coming from the area the bartender was in even if a voice was telling him that the blonde had a nice laugh.
"Kurogane," the young man, probably around Doumeki's age greeted, him catching the warrior off guard. This is one of those times he wished it wasn't illegal to carry a sword in public. (What kind of law was that anyway?)
"Yes?" he quirked and eye, not bothering to take a seat, and assessed the man. He didn't seem threatening; he actually seemed timid but was doing an impressive job at not showing it, well except for the occasional sideways glance away from Kurogane's eyes.
"You probably don't remember me," the man smiled and gestured for the warrior to take a seat. "But we met a year ago."
Kurogane's eyes widened.
The young man smiled and gestured to the empty seat, and Kurogane reluctantly sat, his resolve crumbling with the mention of knowing someone from the blank in his mind.
"Don't mistake my intentions, I'm just doing a favour for a friend." The man smiled, and raised his hand in the air attempting to catch a waitress or waiter's attention.
"What friend?" He inquired, skeptically.
"Can't tell," he mumbled and glanced around to see that someone had seen his request for service, "but I can tell you my name is Watanuki, and I am here to help." He smiled sincerely and Kurogane seemed to automatically nod to his smile.
"Ah Fai!" the young man smiled brightly as the bartender from before appeared at their booth, holding a notepad in one hand and a small pencil in the other.
"Good evening Watanuki," the soft voice greeted, his blue eyes gazing at his friend, before shifting over to where the warrior sat.
"Kurogane?" he questioned, his blue eyes searching the raven-haired males eyes. Searching for recognition. There was none.
"Do I know you?" He questioned, peering into the bartender's eyes, which seemed to be studying him.
"Ah, no. Sorry. What can I get you guys?" He asked, and turned his attention back to the young gentlemen sitting across from Kurogane.
"Ah nothing, I just wanted to introduce you two," Watanuki replied and gestured to warrior, "Anything you'd like?"
"No, I'm okay." He replied dismissively, feeling the sudden urge to run out of the bar and away from this place.
It was such an overpowering feeling that Kurogane had no idea what to do with it, so he squished it down and stared at the man smiling across the table from him. With a cocky smile, he felt like wiping it off that twerps face.
"What is that smile for?" he growled and glared at the Watanuki who, if possible, smiled wider.
"Oh nothing," he innocently replied, the words not matching the facial expression at all.
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Four months had passed since the strange encounter with Watanuki, every once in a while Kurogane would spot the man around the bar, usually talking to Fai.
He did not understand it himself, but he always seemed to be drawn back to this bar. Always watching the bartender, and attempting to make small chitchat that always ended belly-up. The warrior wasn't much of chatter…
He did in those four months since he started coming back here, learn that Fai's full name is Fai D. Flourite, and that he was only slightly younger than the warrior. That's all he learned in those four months.
Every time he saw the blonde, something would swell in his chest and constrict to the point he felt that he couldn't breathe. But, he couldn't get enough of that feeling, and for some reason he was sure that it was connected to his memory loss.
"Kuro!" the bartender enthusiastically called to the lone warrior at the bar, who was playing with the peanut bowl. "What's on your mind, you seem out of it," the blonde commented, and watched as red eyes peered up to meet blue eyes.
Kurogane sighed and turned his head away, shaking it away. He had to stop thinking of what these feelings meant. They were confusing, especially since he was still trying to deal with losing his memories of a year ago.
Fai noticed the pathetic attempt to avoid the subject, and to try to break the tense atmosphere he handed the older male a bottle beer.
"Here have something to drink," he said placing into bigger hands than his own, "It might clear your mind, or cloud it," he chuckled, "both are good sometimes." He smiled with his signature smile and left to go to the other side of the bar and attend to other customers.
Kurogane smiled and rubbed his thumb across the beer label before taking a swing of it.
The sound of someone taking a seat next to him, made Kurogane divert his eyes and land on a kid around eighteen or nineteen years old. Too young to be in a bar.
"Aren't you a little young to be in here kid?" he asked in a gruff voice, placing his beer down on the bar.
The kid seemed to spark something inside of him. He seemed oddly familiar but he could not place his face for the life of him.
His brown spiky hair and soft brown eyes fit his angular face perfectly. His build was a little on the scrawny side but he was obviously not pulling weights on a daily basis. Like what he used to do back in Nihon.
"I'm here to see someone," he replied and turned to the warrior, gazing into his red eyes trying to find something there, just like the bartender did before.
"Fai!" The boy hollered and waved to the blonde who had turned around at the shout of his name. Fai politely excused himself from the customer he was with before sauntering over to the kid.
"Syaoran," he smiled and looked the kid up and down, a tint of worry drifting through his blue eyes.
Kurogane felt strange, holding his beer, and having to over-hear their entire conversation. It seemed more personal, and that he shouldn't be there, but there was not much he could do. Getting up and leaving with his drink seemed rude, so he tried to pay attention elsewhere.
"What are you doing here?" the mage questioned quietly and kept raking his eyes over the boy, almost as though looking for injury.
"Came to see you," the kid smiled brightly, which caused the worry to disappear in the blonde's eyes.
"How nice," Fai replied, and idly started to fiddle with something under the bar, "but you'll be seeing in a few hours at home. What was so important that you had to come see me?"
Syaoran didn't reply right away, and glanced over at the warrior before him, and analyzed him. Something that Kurogane did not fail to notice.
He seemed satisfied with whatever he was looking for before turning back to Fai and smiled, "no reason, I just thought I would say hi."
The young brunette hopped of the stool and left the bar quickly, without a second glance back.
"Strange kid," Kurogane whispered to himself, which resulted in a nasty glare from the mage.
"That your kid?" Kurogane asked, refusing to meet the eyes of the mage. He had no idea why, but he felt the need to keep his eyes locked on his beer.
"Yup!" Fai replied happily, "his name is Syaoran."
"How old is the brat?" the warrior asked, trying to keep the first real conversation he had with the bartender going. Even though it was mostly to fulfill his curiosity.
"Eighteen," Fai replied, picking up a beer mug and slowly cleaning it. "He studies Anthropology at Y University."
Kurogane raised a brow at this and took a small sip of his beer, "what did you have him when you were four?" he questioned lightly.
Fai's eyes widened before he chuckled and placed the glass on the shelf behind him. "He's not my real son. I adopted him about five months ago." His expression seemed to slightly darken at the thought. "I also have an adopted daughter, same age as Syaoran. Her name is Sakura," he smiled fondly, the small amount of darkness that was on his face disappearing.
"Hmm," Kurogane mumbled and glanced up at the mage.
Fai laughed again, "It's funny. A good friend of ours was supposed to adopt Sakura while I adopted Syaoran, that way the could maintain their relationship." Fai began and took another cup out, "sadly my friend left. I was stuck with the both of them. I had to make a decision, so I took them both.
"Sakura and Syaoran were childhood friends, and we ended up meeting through coincidences. She needed to travel and Syaoran was her travelling buddy. I ended up needing to escape my home for a bit, a change in scenery if you will call it that," Fai chuckled. "Anyway I ended up meeting a very important person there as well. He had been sent to us because he was having problems listening to his superiors. So we all ended up travelling together for about a year…." The mage mumbled.
"But Syaoran loved Sakura in the anything but platonic way. So when we settled down here, my precious friend and me said we'd adopt them. That way they could date and stay here with guardians. But he left…" Fai ended, and looked into Kurogane's red eyes, "So I took them both."
"Your friend is an ass," Kurogane muttered, causing the mage's eyes to widen and start to bellow in laughter.
"Maybe, but I'm sure he had his reasons."
Kurogane looked up at that and noticed the blonde was now walking towards another customer. Something in the pit of the warrior's stomach knotted and he decided it was his time to leave and go home to get ready for another dull day at work.
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Kurogane found himself back at the club everyday the following two months. It was as though he couldn't escape this place….and a part of him didn't want to. He wasn't sure what that meant, but he was intending to figure it out. He hated not knowing….
He took his usual seat, this time Watanuki was there, holding a cup of orange juice.
Fai wasn't around, he seemed to be in back doing something. Kurogane knew he was at work today because he had poked his head out a few times, before being told something by one of the waiters and disappearing behind the door marked 'employee's only' and not reappearing since.
Kurogane's stomach kept doing flips and his heart was beating erratically and he had no idea why.
Are these symptoms of a heart attack?
One of the waiters had walked over to the television set, and changed the channel from the local basketball game to the news channel, the banner at the bottom reading 'breaking news'.
"What's going on?" Watanuki asked, glancing around the bar, noticing that all the televisions had changed to the breaking news channel.
"Breaking news from Japan. A sudden sandstorm has students and staff trapped inside an Archeological faculty that housed students who were going to be helping out in a dig nearby. The winds were unexpected and came through the area at high speeds, damaging one of the support beams. Ten minutes ago, that support beam came crashing to the ground, taking part of the facility with it. Estimated 77 students and staff are still trapped inside the building, with power being out and phone lines damaged, nobody is able to contact them.
"Y University has set out a statement regarding the incident…."
Kurogane had tuned it out by then.
Y University….isn't that…..and he's studying…
He stiffened and looked towards the 'employee only' door and felt the sudden need to be beside Fai, and help him through this.
The warrior bolted up from the booth and took two steps before his vision started to get blurry. He vaguely heard Watanuki ask him if he was okay before he felt his head begin to pound relentlessly, drowning out any other voices.
He slightly swayed on his feet before he collapsed to the ground, the shouts of his name going unnoticed to him.
I hope this is okay. I went through it twice, but one time the corrections didn't go through and the second time was a lazy go-through. I just went back over what I corrected, hopefully I caught it all. If I didn't, let me know. If any eye colour or spelling of names is incorrect, please let me know...I tired my best at finding their eye colour but I'm not sure if they're right.
I just finished the second part, and it will be posted in a few days time.
~I hope you guys enjoyed it.
Leave a comment….we got cupcakes!