Chapter 1 – Frodo's swag party.
Once upon a tim, in a hobbet hole in ther ground, there lived a gobbet called Frodo, son of arathorn. his nam was Frodo, and he uncle biblo liked to go on adventures, which unaturnal for hobbets. Frodo was like natural hobites, that like to drink tea and discus politics, unlike convenshional hobits. However, one day, a dark day for mankind ocured. The horrid eye of sorrowman was lookin at frodos hobbet hole, and it pupils narrowed.
"So this is the fucking hobbit that dares to wear my bridal ring!" bellowed sauronman, with a voise of contempt.
"I will destroi his hobbet hole with my majic powers!" then his lazer eyes blasted dholes in the floor. "dammit, thes hobets live out of the range of my lasers!"
Then Frodo queste began. Frodo grabbed some elven bread and ate it. then gangdalf spotted samwise gamegy spying on him while he was on the potty chair. "damn hobbets" grumbeld gandolf. "Yuo fucking fat hobet tell me why u were spying on mai peepholes whilt I was taking an piss!" "O ho sir, I was jackin off becuz I was secretely a gay fag, bellowed samwise, as his moist meat sack writhed in the winds. then Gandalf neutered him with the ring of destine. he tuook the cursed ring, and put them on sams cockles ontil they constricted his meatus. then it fell of and ganfalfd constructisd a deslishios dinner for Frodo. "hey Frodo!" screamd Gandalf in pain and contimpt. "We and sam are coming with yuo to complete youor quest!" then they all ate some elfen bread and walked towards mount mordir.