"What do you want for dinner?" Dan's voice echoed through their apartment as he stood in the kitchen, looking through their cabinets. Phil was sitting in the living room, laptop open, his latest video being edited on screen.
"What do we have?" The older boy finished tinkering with the audio as he yelled to his friend. Dan furrowed his brow as he shuffled his hands through the pantry.
"It looks like we only have cans of soup." He pulled out a tin with a label reading 'Auntie Elma's Famous Chunks'. Upon shaking the can, he realized something inside it was vibrating softly. He wrinkled his nose and put it back on the shelf. Phil shut his computer and rose from his seat, stretching his hands over his head as he walked into the room Dan was in.
"We've had soup for the past two nights." He said, leaning against the door frame.
"And whose fault is that?" Dan punctuated the question by slamming the cabinet door. The boys had developed a system where they alternated going to the store every week. Dan went last time. Phil uncomfortably shuffled in place as he looked anywhere except at his frustrated roommate. After glaring at Phil for a couple seconds, Dan sighed and went over to his laptop resting on the kitchen counter.
"Should we just order pizza?" This made Phil nod and straighten in the doorway.
"I could go for some pizza."
"Fine." Dan was typing in the URL for a local pizza place. "But you're paying." Another soup night happily averted, Phil walked back to his chair and plopped down onto the gray suede cushion. Right as he reopened his video editing software, he heard Dan yell something from the kitchen.
"What?" He yelled back.
"I said," Dan purposefully slowed his speech and over enunciated his words. "what toppings do you want?"
"I dunno." Phil went back to clicking. "Pineapple, I guess." It suddenly got quiet. Phil could no longer hear Dan's rustling in the kitchen. After a few moments of silence, the sound of hurried footsteps made their way down the hall. Dan poked his head into the living room, a look of stern confusion on his face.
"I'm sorry," He said, his stare never leaving Phil's head. "I don't think I heard you correctly. What did you want?" Phil hesitated slightly before answering.
"Pineapple. I wanted pineapple." All emotion left Dan's face.
"How dare you?" The anger in Dan's voice was palpable.
"What?" Phil was genuinely confused.
"I thought you were better than this." Dan had walked all the way into the room now and was standing across from his friend, arms by his side, betrayal on his face.
"I don't understand." Phil shut his laptop and shook his head slightly. "All I wanted was some pineapple pizz-"
"You will not say that phrase in this house." Dan's voice was loud and firm. He was visibly pissed. "Pineapple is never, and I mean never, an okay pizza topping." Phil's eyes narrowed as he rose to face Dan.
"I think it tastes good." A single tear rolled down Dan's cheek. With a cocktail of fury and sadness in his voice, the younger boy spoke.
"It's clearly too late to change your mind," Dan widened his stance and raised his hands in a karate-chop motion. "which means my only option is to destroy you." With extreme agility, Phil jumped over Dan and landed on one foot, hands pressed together in a prayer position.
"I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Daniel." Dan chuckled and turned to face the raven-haired boy, a sad smile on his face.
"Don't make this harder than it has to be." Without moving any other part of his body, Phil raise his right leg and smashed a hole in the wall. "Very well." Dan said as he got into crane position. "You leave me no choice." With that, he lunged at Phil with alarming strength and tried to grab the boy's hair. Thinking fast, Phil jumped out of the way and started running for the door. He had already made it onto the street by the time he heard Dan calling his name.
"Phil." He yelled, emerging from the doorway and seeing his friend already halfway down the block. "Please don't make this a big ordeal." Phil stopped momentarily to catch his breath as he called back to his friend.
"You made this an ordeal by making menacing gestures at me."
"Can't argue with that." Dan said quietly as he started running to Phil's resting place. Having caught his breath, Phil did a graceful leap up onto a fire escape three stories up. After finding his balance, he shimmied up to the roof and started to sprint along the rooftops, jumping from building to building as he ran. Dan could barely keep Phil in his sight as the older boy made his way down the street. Phil might have been agile, but Dan was strong. For fear of losing Phil's location, Dan continued to stare at the runner as he reached out an arm to grab a car beside him.
After picking up a fairly large vehicle, he flung it towards the roof where Phil was headed. It missed the boy by mere inches as the roof caved in under the car's weight. The building was crumbling, and Phil had to get off if he didn't want to fall five stories. He pressed his eyes shut as he thought about how he hated everything and that this sucked and he was so done with this. Instantly, the car moved safely back to the ground and the building fixed itself, pieces flying back into place as if someone had pressed rewind on a tape recorder. All the commotion had given Dan some time to catch up. He stared in utter disbelief as Phil controlled space and matter with his very mind.
"How did you do that?" Dan choked out between tired gasps. Phil dropped to the ground and pointed at Dan, other hand on his hip.
"Never underestimate the power of repressed teen angst." This enraged Dan. With a pterodactyl screech and lots of frantic arm flailing, he charged at Phil, arms flopping randomly as he went. Right as Phil was about to drop kick his buddy, a brown blob in the corner of his eye caught his attention.
"Wait!" He yelled, pointing behind Dan's flailing form. Dan stopped short and turned to see what was going on. A small corgi had started to walk around the corner of the street, pink collar jingling as it went. Dan scoffed and turned back to Phil.
"You think that'll stop me?" Just then, a lighthearted 'boof' made Dan whip back around. The corgi had a friend, and it was a sheeb. Dan and Phil turned their heads to each other and nodded. In perfect unison, the two boys got into naruto running position and ran to the animals, scooping them up as they passed. The person walking the dogs yelled something in complaint, but it couldn't be heard over the whooshing of wind as the boys ran.
"It's fine, I'm a youtuber." Dan called back, hugging the sheeb to his chest. Once they got home, the decided to open up a can of good ol' Auntie Elma's Famous Chunks as they put on a movie to watch. Dan named the sheeb Edicus and Phil called the corgi Croissant and they stopped caring about the pineapple pizza thing because it was fuckin stupid the end.