This is an uncensored account of how the first generation of heroes really met their fates. The Taisha censored the events and concocted a story of heroism and sacrifice to keep morale up, but this knew record reveals the terrible and embarrassing truth behind the fates of Washi Sumi, Nogi Sonoko and Minowa Gin.

"Gin, have you prepared the magicians tool properly?"

"Yep, I set them up over there. Everything's ready to go."

"Excellent. Pass me my hat."

"You look silly, Washii."

"You just have poor taste, Nogi. This hat is a vital part of any magician's repertoire, and it looks spiffy to boot."

"If you say so Washii."

"I do."

"Okay, we only have a few days left before the show. Let's hurry up and practice already!"

"Right, right. Take your positions then!"

"Eh, so I just climb into this box and lie still?"

"That's right, just lie still. It's an ideal job for you, right?"

"Yeah, it's ideal for me."

"Gin, you stand over here and go over the special effects for the big finish."

"Okay. Left switch, right switch to the middle, then press the button?"

"That's correct."

"Let's get on with it then!"

"Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the greatest magic act you've ever seen!"

"Wait, are we legally around to say that? I've heard that companies can't say those kinds of things because of advertising laws, like there's no way of measuring who's the best so no one's allowed to say that they are, or something."

"I can't imagine that laws like that apply to school magic acts. Besides, who'd be petty enough to actually report us? Especially considering who our families are."

"I guess...but don't you think it's kind of off anyway? I mean, no one's going to believe it, and no matter how you look at it, we're not THAT good. Maybe by bigging it up people will just be more disappointed with the act in the end."

"You're really thinking about this too much Gin. It's just a school show, no one's really going to be expecting it to be the greatest magic show in the world."

"It still feels kind of cheap to do false advertising like that though..."

"You two, can we practice the actual tricks instead of worrying about the script for now? This box isn't very comfortable and I'm getting sleepy lying still like this."

"Huh? Oh, right. Sorry Nogi."

"It's fine."

"Okay then! Ladies and gentlemen, I will now saw my lovely assistant in half and put her back together again!"

"Watch and be amazed!"

*vrrrrrrrrrrr*

"As you can see, the saw has gone straight through her! I will now proceed to pull this box apart to show you just how very cut in half she... really... is..."

"..."

"..."

"Gin?"

"Y-yes Washii?"

"I-is there something wet in your shoes too?"

"...Yes."

"...Gin?"

"Yes?"

"Is that wet substance...red, by any chance?"

"...Yes."

"...Help me pull the box apart Gin."

"...Okay."

"B-but first, as a matter of interest, where did you buy that saw?"

"The DIY store."

"The DIY store. Not the magic store."

"T-they were out of stock, so I went to the DIY store instead and asked for a magic saw. They gave me the Magic Chainsaw 9000."

"You brought a chainsaw with the brand name Magic from a DIY store instead of buying a stage prop."

"I-it's a magic chainsaw!"

"Help me pull the box apart Gin."

*skttt*

"..."

"..."

"OH DEAR SHINJU-SAMA HER LEGS! HER LEGS! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!?"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! I DIDN'T KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE CHECKED IT WAS THE RIGHT EQUIPMENT! YOU'RE IN CHARGE! OH SHINJU-SAMA THERES BLOOD EVERYWHERE!"

"Zzzz...huh? Sorry, I dozed off. What's all the shouting about? Are we done?"

"Ah, ah, y-y-y-y-y-your, l-l-l-l-le-"

"Oh no, what happened to my legs? They're not supposed to be detachable."

"W-wha-HOW CAN YOU BE SO CALM!? YOUR LEGS ARE G-GONE!"

"Oh, my doctor says I have clinical chillaxis. That's probably why it's taking so long for me to bleed out, but could you hurry and stop the bleeding? I don't really want to die in such a stupid way, you know?"

"Buh, fuh, u-urkkk, G-G-G-G-G-Gin, get some bandages! And some scissors!"

"Yeah, scissors, scissors are, over, over here, and the first aid kit, um, got it! Here I come!"

"Oh, Gin, you shouldn't run with scissors..."

*trip* *splat*

"Oh, you took my arm off."

"AAAAAAAAH! HER ARM, YOU CUT HER ARM OFF! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! AH, SHINJU-SAMA HELP US!"

"Ow, I think you just blew my eardrum out. Can you guys please be a little more careful?"

"What do we do? Should we call an ambulance?"

"What the hell do you think, you idiot!?"

"No signal..."

"Me neither...SHIT!"

"Don't swear Washii, it doesn't suit you."

"Okay, okay, w-we'll just have to get help. I'll stay here and patch her up, you go and get help."

"I'll transform and go to the hospital, it's not far away. I'll get them to send an ambulance and a team straight here."

"Hurry up then."

*shazam*

"Ooooh, your transformation is so pretty Gin."

"She's delirious. Hurry up already!"

"I know, I know! Ah, wait, I'm still holding the scissors. Here, catch."

"Wha-NO!"

*splat*

"Ow, my eye."

"Oh my f...are you doing this on purpose? Are you some kind of Vertex agent, is that what this is? Because I'm having trouble believing that anyone can be this incompetent accidentally."

"I-i-i-it was an accident, I swear! Every time, it was an accident!"

"Hospital, now."

"R-right, now! No time to use the stairs, I'm going out the window!"

"What? No Gin, wait, that's quintuple reinfor-"

*crack*

"Gin? Gin!? GIIIIIIIIIIN!"

"Oh no, this is terrible."

"Okay, okay, calm down Washio Sumi, calm down. Panicking won't help at all, just breath."

"I think my eyeball just fell out."

"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh goodness Washii, calm down. It's not like the worlds ending or anything."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Oh okay, just ignore me then. That's fine."

"FIRST AID KIT! WHERES THE FIRST AID KIT!?"

"I don't think stop gap measures like that are really going to help now..."

"WHERE IS IT!?"

"Hmmm, I think it landed on the top of that cabinet when Gin went flying."

"I-I'll get it! I'll get it and everything will be JUST FINE!"

"You're not supposed to climb on cabinets like that Wa-"

*crash*

"O-oh Shinju-sama, my legs..."

"I warned you."

"No, everything's still fine. I'll just transform and everything will still work out just fine."

"Ooooh, those physics weights above your head look pretty unbalanced..."

*CRACK*

"...Washii?"

"...Who are you? Where am I? Ugh..."

"Oh dear."

*creak*

"Now girls, you've been up here for longer than...OH MY SHINJU-SAMA!"

"Hello sensei."

"Hahaha, t-this kind of prank is in poor taste girls. I certainly hope that you aren't planning on incorporating something like this into your show."

"What prank?"

"..."

*whump*

"Sensei?"

"...We're all doomed..."

"You guys are jerks."

THE END