Here's a new story! If the scenario is awfully familiar to you, stop thinking about it! Maybe you saw it in some other anime? This kind of scenario has been used quite a lot, I think. I hope you enjoy this!
Disclaimer: Whatever you think, I don't own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya. Believe it, dattebayo! I don't own that phrase either!
-0-
As much as solving time paradoxes, figuring out a way of preventing another outbreak of blue giants going loose in an alternate dimension or escaping from a crazy girl, or Nagato-san puts it, a 'living humanoid interface' or whatnot with a fetish for knives isn't the type of hobby I'd find interesting, I'd say it was far better than spying on my illustrious and outspoken brigade commander, Suzumiya Haruhi, while she was out on a date.
Of course, not counting the fact that Asahina-san is here with me. That much can be forgiven, and better yet, enjoyed!
Asahina-san moved through the bushes with apparent ease, her small frame easily camouflaged by the towering bushes. I, on the other hand, was not as lucky, as the leaves and small twigs got in the way of my crawling, and had a nasty habit of getting to undesirable places while I tried to remain hidden.
"Asahina-san, is this really necessary?"
Asahina Mikuru-san, the positive angel from the future, looked at me cutely, before saying, "I-I'm sorry, Kyon-kun, that's classified information."
She turned around again, giving me an inviting view of her backside, although I don't presume to think it was of her own volition, she being a temptress without trying after all. I sighed as we continued crawling through the hard ground.
"Kyah!"
Asahina-san held up her hand as I tried to see what had happened. Her hand inadvertently held onto a sharp piece of wood, impaling itself on her delicate tea brewing fingers. Hey! If that affects her tea-brewing skills, I'm going to cut you piece by piece!
"Asahina-san, are you okay?"
As much as I tried to show my worry, she only nodded before saying, "We're here."
I peek out of the bushes, and see the person responsible for this odd trip this extremely cute girl and I are currently undertaking.
Oh yeah, haven't I explained what was going on? Well, it was just the other day…
-0-
Much like always, our enigma of a club continued its monotonous activity. I had just finished doing some homework, since club activities dictated I would be too tired to do it at home. Besides, Haruhi said she had some 'exciting' news.
Of course, in front of me was a walking psychiatrist, who probably only passes himself off as an esper. He moved his finger nimbly to move his chess piece, although the term 'nimble' could not be used to describe his board playing skills.
"I am amused at your reference of me."
Koizumi only smiled at my vastly rude remark, which I seemed to voice out loud, with one of those plastic smiles he has displayed to us for very long. I doubt anyone would recognize him without it. Sai has a more believable smile than this, thank you.
"Of course, you must realize that I have to keep this appearance up."
He looked at me with those barely open eyes that reminded me of Fuji-senpai. I swear, after reading that tennis manga, I can't stop thinking they must have come from the same family.
"Yo!"
As much as this is repetitive, the door burst open to reveal Suzumiya-san, carrying her afternoon things. It seems like she was busy at the school records again, since she was carrying a bundle of papers of what seemed to be the personal record of a student.
Haruhi, are you going to kidnap some poor student again and make him join this club?
"Nonsense, Kyon! When have I ever kidnapped someone?"
Harui quickly countered my comment, and threw it onto the sidelines to weep. Her face clearly said, "Bring it on!" as she eyed me, probably expecting a comeback.
Honestly, I'm getting tired of this argument. Even debaters get annoyed at annoying and stupid opponents who keep throwing incredibly pointless and illogical arguments.
As for me, the last time I said she had practically forced all of us to join the SOS Brigade, our fair club, Haruhi only said, "What are you talking about, stupid? You all joined of your own free will!"
Let's see. I was dragged into helping your club be born, Asahina-san's your own personal dress-up doll, Koizumi and Nagato had no choice but to follow you since apocalypse was nigh if they didn't. Wow, nice list.
But putting all that aside, I just kept quiet and let Haruhi's rant continue. As far as I could hear, there was another 'mysterious' transfer student, although she had no idea who he or she looked like, and Haruhi was looking for a companion to investigate the student.
Seriously, why won't you just abduct him like you did with all of us?
"Will you stop it, Kyon? I would never do something so fiendish!"
What the heck are you… ah, forget it. You won't listen to me anyway. And this is useless anyway, You'd listen only to yourself, pretending to listen to our opinions, like a dictator asking his advisers who he should kill next. Seriously, why bother?
After that short interlude, she began to rant again, this time pointing towards an immovable fixture of our club.
"…"
Nagato Yuki only looked blankly at Haruhi's 'plea', which was more of a demand, to accompany her on investigating this new mysterious student. If people accuse Nagato-san as being a Rei Ayanami clone, I'd just laugh and say, "Hey, at least Rei can show emotions! And can Rei make a bat hit consecutive homeruns? Or how about…"
Wow, I got offtopic again.
"… I have something to do."
Nagato-san finally replied, with a negative. Haruhi looked crestfallen for a second, but instead began to question Koizumi's plans.
Me, seeing as this was a losing battle, asked a question I was pretty sure I need to ask.
"Say, Haruhi, why won't you investigate him alone?"
Haruhi, who was in a the middle of nearly strangling poor Asahina-san, suddenly looks at me with a dumbfounded look, like saying, "What? Are you defying my orders?"
I sighed.
"Haruhi, it would be easier to trail a guy if you were alone. And if you suddenly decide to talk to him, you'd probably scare him off if you brought a lot of people along. It'd be better if you approached him alone, like you want to be friends or something, not dissect him."
"Hum, you're right."
For once, Haruhi listened to my advice, before settling on her seat. For a few minutes, it was total silence, broken only by my resumed game of chess with Koizumi, until Haruhi suddenly stood up.
"Koizumi, I'm leaving the fort to you! Make sure no one can destroy our precious base while I'm gone!"
Stop thinking we're an army, you crazy girl! Sooner or later you might instigate the next world war!
"Affirmative, Suzumiya-san."
Koizumi nodded slightly, his plastic smile growing larger, while my frown increased even more. As Haruhi left the room, I gave Koizumi another angry look.
"Would it kill you to not kiss Haruhi's ass?"
He only smiled again, to my annoyance.
-0-
Haruhi dismissed us just as the sun was setting. Since the nearest station was still a good minute's walk, we all walked together, Haruhi and a very harassed Asahina-san in front with the smiling bastard, while I was left behind with Nagato-san.
"…"
Crap, she must have noticed me looking! For the past few minutes, I pondered on whether or not I should ask about this new transfer student. As much as this new distracton was helpful for Haruhi, I couldn't afford it if this student turned out to be some sort of threat or another plant by Koizumi or her.
Come to think of it, I haven't met the slider yet. Maybe it's this guy!
"… you have nothing to worry. This transfer student is a perfectly normal human being."
Thank goodness. I smiled at Nagato-san, and for a while, I thought I saw her lips curl slightly, ever so slightly, to form a slight smile, or so I thought. Although I'm quite confident of the fact I could see when she would display the slightest display of emotion, this was still extremely difficult.
"Well, changing the subject, Nagato-san, I always wonder, but how come you never raise your objections to Haruhi's plots? Aren't you afraid she might uncover your existence somehow through one of these crazy escapades of her?"
She looked straight ahead, her gaze straight towards the setting sun. I tried to discern some sort of message in her gaze, but as far as I could see, I could see none.
"The Integrated Data Entity has hypothesized that if allowed loose, Suzumiya-san's powers might be displayed to them. They wish to take this advantage to study her further."
"Also, refusing her ideas might result in an influx of negative results, a myriad of unexplainable data, and such."
In short, refusing Haruhi can be fatal. Sigh, this is all old news to me. However…
"But why let me defy her?"
Nagato, without blinking, quickly replied, "You are the only one able to control her, and in effect Suzumiya-san respects and honors your opinion. She listens to your input, and effectively processes if it is beneficial to her cause."
Really? That doesn't seem like what she does anyway.
"You should be grateful. She eyes you on a personal level, far deeper than anyone around her."
With that, Nagato-san turned away and kept quiet the rest of the way we walked.
-0-
Tap, tap.
The pencil hit its target lightly.
Tap, tap, tap.
The hits are more aggressive now, plus they're starting to annoy me.
Tap, tap, tap, tap!
"What?" I asked, annoyed at the repeated pencil marks that started to appear on my uniform.
Haruhi, thankfully, stopped her actions before our teacher caught us talking.
The morning after was dreadfully boring, like most school days, especially now. Our English teacher began lecturing on a lesson I could barely comprehend. Oh, this is unfair! Why can Haruhi not take her classes seriously yet get high grades!
"What are you talking about, I take my classes seriously."
Haruhi quietly scribbled a note before passing it to me.
"Post this in the door of our room. I won't be able to make it; you can all be dismissed early."
On the note, the words "The SOS brigade is out on a field trip." could not be farther than the truth. Sigh.
-0-
I entered the club room, only to see everyone inside already. I quickly told them the news, and a few minutes later, Koizumi and Nagato had left.
Leaving me with Asahina-san, who was just about to change back into her school uniform after we tidied the club room. Wow, Asahina-san's skills as a maid has improved tenfold.
"Eh? A phone call…"
With a quick, "excuse me" Asahina-san left the room, leaving me alone.
"Sigh, I wonder what's Haruhi's doing?"
Although I couldn't care less whatever Haruhi was doing, there was always this stray thought every now and then that would make me think of Haruhi. Damn, why would she make me worry, anyway?
"Kyon-kun?"
Asahina-san's angelic voice snapped me back into reality. I whirled my head towards the direction of her voice, and was greeted with a single question.
"Do you have anything to do today?"
-0-
…and that's how we ended up here in the bushes, spying on Haruhi.
Asahina-san quickly changed into her school uniform, before taking my hand and heading quickly towards a park. Coincidentally, it was the same park where she confessed of her identity to me, and it was also where we gave a turtle to a young boy, who Asahina-san says will have a great effect on the future.
It was pretty obvious Haruhi was waiting for someone, as she shifted uneasily on a park bench, glancing at the time from a clock placed on a tall pole just a few meters from her. She was still wearing her school uniform, meaning since dismissal she was waiting here.
"What are we doing, spying on Haruhi?"
Asahina-san glanced at me, before meekly answering,"Classified information, Kyon-kun. I'm sorry. But please, we have to wait here."
I sighed again. Evidently, this was another predetermined event, and I had no choice but to follow along.
Haruhi stood up now, and from the corner of my right eye, I saw a student wearing a North High uniform approach Haruhi.
He was quite the average man you'd see on our class. He was quite skinny in frame, and gave off an impression of being…normal. Great, Haruhi's rubbing off on me.
Haruhi nodded slightly as the guy greeted her, before leaving of. Thankfully, they didn't hold hands.
Thankfully?
The pair walked slowly. It was evident Haruhi knew who it was, since she was capable of at least of talking to him, even if she only barked out monosyllables. This didn't seem to faze the guy, as he continuously chattered on and on. From my position, I couldn't see Haruhi's face, but I guessed she looked pretty annoyed.
"So it seems Suzumiya-san is on a date…"
Tilting her head slightly, Asahina-san voiced out: "So this is what we're supposed to do…"
"Eh? Asahina-san, what are you saying?"
"Ah…don't mind…"
"Hey!"
Our attention was shifted immediately to Haruhi, who seemingly had gotten into a fight with a couple of men, while her 'date' was apologizing profusely.
"Look, you stupid punks, just get out of the way unless you want to get hurt!"
"P-please! We're sorry! Haruhi, let's just go!"
The guy whines like a girl and Haruhi's getting into a verbal contest with the men. Wow, what a reversal of roles.
"Hey, this girl's feisty! I like it!"
One of the rowdy group of men placed his hands roughly on Haruhi's shoulders, before wrapping his arms around a perfectly annoyed Haruhi.
"Listen, what say you we ditch this spineless guy and go on a date? My treat!"
Haruhi, who probably wanted no part of him, grabbed his arm and twisted it violently. Soon, he was in a hold executed by Haruhi.
"H-hey! Ow! That hurts!"
"Hey, Boss!"
The guy with Haruhi, evidently scared out of his wits, began to run away to leave the scene, leaving Haruhi surrounded by about four men, not counting their 'boss'.
"W-we have to help Suzumiya-san!"
I was thinking the same, but against those men? Where's a Bonta-kun suit when you need it?
Just as the men approached Haruhi, had had broken her hold, leaving the 'boss' with a broken arm, I felt a hand push me, driving me through the bushes and rolling through the ground, and then cement with a painful thud.
I heard a faint "Sorry, Kyon-kun." just as I landed rather loudly, catching the men's attention.
"Hey, Kyon! Come over here and help me!"
That stupid girl! Are you planning to get me into a fight?
Thankfully, I didn't need to, since the momentary distraction I did gave Haruhi an opening. She immediately attacked one of the men from behind with a powerful kick to the head, and while the other men checked if their comrade was okay, Haruhi headed straight for me, grabbed my hand and dashed straight away.
In the distance, I thought I saw a blur of red hair give me a thumb up sign.
-0-
Needless to say, Haruhi interrogated me with a barrage of questions, and I was in no place comfortable.
We were seated on another park bench, a good distance away from those men who we were trying to escape from.
Immediately after sitting, Haruhi quickly sent a barrage of questions up my ear.
"What are you doing here? Did you follow me here?"
"Well…" I racked my brain for an excuse. "Actually, I was bored and decided to go here. Yeah, that's it!"
Haruhi looked at me closely, our faces getting into a far closer range, too close for my comfort. My face seemed to gain a bit more blood as usual, as redness spread at my face as she inspected my face with eyes much like the time when we played the computer club with their own game. This time, she wasn't 'transferring' energy onto me; it was more like she was absorbing what was in my thoughts.
"Hm, you're lying." She said after inspecting me, her tone clearly annoyed. "Tell me, were you spying on me?"
Knowing full well telling her I was with Asahina-san would put her on a fouler mood, I sighed. I was about to say something, but Haruhi cut me off.
"Oh, whatever! That appearance of yours was timely! Thanks for that!"
She smiled, replacing the frown she was wearing with that guy.
"…speaking of which, who was that guy?"
"Him? Oh, when I investigated about him, I realized he was a former classmate of mine. He seemed to have remembered me even if we hadn't seen each other for a year, so when he saw me, he asked me out on a date!"
"Which, quite obviously, you didn't refuse."
"I thought there was something off with him!"
Haruhi pouted, her face strangely reminiscent of a child who couldn't get her away. In a way, I found it cute.
Of course, I wouldn't tell her that!
"Well, how was it?"
"You should know! You were spying on me!"
"…"
The silence that followed was uneasy. It was like two fleets feeling each other out, trying to find the right chance to launch an attack.
And Haruhi struck the first blow.
"That guy was pretty annoying. First, he blathered on and on about all sorts of boring stuff, and then he ran off when those guys appeared! Man! What a coward! You're far braver than that wimp!"
As I tried to figure out if it was an insult or a complement, Haruhi grabbed my hand again.
"What the…"
"As for you, your punishment for spying on me is… you'll have to treat me to some ice cream!"
Haruhi smiled again as she pulled me from my seat and began running, with me in tow.
Sigh, some things never change… oh well, at least some money suddenly appeared in my pocket again.
-0-
Not my best work, I know. I got lazy near the ending, starting from when Kyon's flashback ends, so it kinda sucks around those parts, I think. Tell me what you think!
Also, I'm planning some new stories, but I'm at a crossroad: should I start making serious KyonxHaruhi stories, or continue with stories like these? I'm not even sure if these stories I did already can be considered KyonxHaruhi stories… or maybe I should make a story from each of the SOS brigade's POV? What do you think? Please give me your input!