A/N: Okay so I haven't wrote a TDI fic in ages, but I just had to do this. Just so no ones confused, this is written from third-person and, if you can't tell from, Gwen. Also this is the first time I've really done anything like this except for my journalism class so review and tell me your opinion on it. I don't mind constructive criticism. I just don't want any this sucked without telling me what made it suck. Anyway on with the story!
Disclaimer- *sigh* I own nothing other than this idea.
The guilt was eating her alive. Whatever she was doing, she would start thinking about it again. It was like a never ending nightmare. One of those things where nothing you ever do will make things better. Noting you ever do will make things right. Something that just couldn't be fixed, no matter how hard you tried.
The guilt of the whole thing was killing her; literally. She hardly ever ate. Got horrible headaches. All because of one mistake. The worst mistake in her life, yes. But still, all from one little mistake. Even if it was ten years ago. But that didn't really matter.
All because of one kiss. One little kiss. She knew it was wrong from the beginning. But Duncan just kept pulling her in. Its not like she even started the kiss. She reminded herself of this a lot. But she sure as heck didn't stop it either. So to her, that made it even worse.
Don't get her wrong, at the time, she enjoyed every second of it. The rush it gave her. The rush from the kiss and from doing something bad. But that was then. Even that night she started filing bad. But Duncan had her in some trance. No matter what, she just couldn't say no.
Thinking back to when Courtney figured out had to be the worst thing. Courtney was so in love. And then the kiss happened. She never got a chance to make things better between them. She probably never will. Even if she did though, Courtney would say that she's okay. That's she's over the whole thing. But things like this aren't things you'll ever be able to be completely healed from.
Then there's Duncan. They continued dating after the show. Her Mom told her he would only hurt her. But did she listen? No. And that was her second biggest mistake because she walked in on him kissing another girl. She should've expected it, but she didn't. He's the main reason her life was the way it was. Then he had to ruin it even more then he already had. It made her regret everything even more than she already was.
After that, almost everyone left her. Everyone except for one person and she's not even sure why he didn't just ditch her like the others and that's Trent. She was a total bitch to him and he still didn't leave. He would just listen to her and that helped make everything better. Even after the breakup with Duncan he wasn't rude. She would just call him and he would listen and tell her that somehow, everything will work out. It makes her wish that she never broke up with him. That even after everything, that had to be her worst mistake.
Sometimes, when she's really down, she'll think of all the good times she had before total drama. Or even on the show before the second season. How things could be so much different. How instead of being down and lonely, she could be hanging out with friends. How one stupid break-up could completely change her life. But everything did happen and she'll just have to learn how to move on and get over things.
Normally, she can take the pain. But for some reason, today was different. Maybe it's because Trent wasn't able to talk to her and all the guilt was getting to her again. She tried to be strong, but at that moment, she just couldn't take it anymore. She tried to stop herself, but there was only one thing she could do.
So she did it. She put the cold metal to her head. Thought about it one final time, and made her definite decision. So she pulled the trigger. And at that moment, Gwen took her last breath, and slowly slipped away from this cruel world.
A/N: ANGST! So anyway this just randomly came to me and I decided to write it down. And it was a lot longer when I first wrote it! I actually really like it too! haha :) But PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! tell me your opinion :)
So Review? Please? I'll give away free cookies!