SHADOW OF A DOUBT

BY BRIANNE

CHAPTER ONE

"Hmmm...where the hell am I?" The only thought in my head as my eyes fluttered open, finding myself in a hospital bed hooked to a ventilator, blood pressure monitor, and an IV stuck in my arm. A sharp pain is in both my ribs. What happened to me? I asked myself but couldn't figure it out.

My eyes tried to focus around the room. The bright lights shining in my room made my vision clouded. Scanning across the room, everything was white and smelled of ammonia. A nurse walked into the room from across the hallway when my eyes met hers.

"Hey, you're finally awake. I was wondering when you'd wake up." She said, smiling at me. "My name is Ashley. I'm your nurse taking care of you. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Uh..." I mumbled, trying to find the words to speak despite breathing being so difficult. Why was it so hard to speak? Ugh it was so frustrating. My mind was blank, empty, everything gone. Of course I could move my hands and wiggle my toes but what could have caused me to forget who I am and make me unable to speak?

Instead of focusing too hard on not being able to speak and form a coherent thought, the nurse awakened me from my frustration.

"Are you okay, Ms. Grace?" She asked, when I had finally looked up from the blankets to face her. "Are you still hurting?"

I nodded. "Would you like some pain meds?"

I nodded once more when she asked me. Why did it feel like I was being treated like a baby? Did I really get myself into a total mess? The questions filled my head but how could I answer them? Here I was in a hospital bed with the wind knocked out of me, broken into pieces, and without a single clue as to what the hell happened to me? My ribs were broken, my head was pounding, it hurt to breathe, and every inch of me was screaming in agony.

The nurse came into the room as soon I tried messing with my IV with a syringe in her hand.

"Here you go. Hope this will make you feel better." She stated, a sorrowful look upon her young face as she put a syringe into the opening of my IV. She had to have been at least in her early twenties. Ashley, the nurse, walked out of the room.

I relaxed on the pillow and let the medicine ease me into a deep sleep. Well, she's my first friend, I said to myself before falling into pitch black darkness.

It's good that I have one friend, right?

. . . . .

"Hey, girl, slow down!" Anthony yelled, staring at me like I was completely out of my damn mind. "We don't have to catch up to them, ya know. This a'in't a damn race!"

"Of course it is." I exclaimed, mad as hell that my older brother was telling me how to drive. "We are gonna lose the race. We can't allow that. Are you scared, are you a coward?"

"Uh...no..but obviously, you're drunk and if I get pulled over, I'm gonna be pissed at you, sis. So...umm...it's best if you pull over and let me drive. Forget about racing those dumbasses." He replied, frustration and impatience in his eyes. My brother was really mad at me. I pissed him off. Why did he have to ruin the fun?

In a grassy patch near a ditch on the interstate highway, my brother forced me out of the driver's side. Ugh what an ass? He didn't say a word when I pulled over, only shoved me out of the seat and took over the steering wheel.

What the fuck you ain't gonna talk to me? What a dick? There was no way I was gonna argue with my ass of a brother but what do I know? I'm a rebellious bitch.

. . . . .

"Ms. Grace, Ms. Grace...hey it's Dr. Rolston, are you okay?" A soft voice said in my ear that I could barely make out because my ears were ringing like I'd just been smacked repeatedly with a boxing glove in an arena. "How are you feeling this morning?"

Boy, did I feel like shit? The pain was still in my ribs and my breathing hurt but my head was feeling better. A grumbling started in my stomach that I ignored as I motioned my hands to make out six out of ten. It hurt so bad but the doctor gave a warm smile in my direction.

"That's good. It looks like you are doing better but you must rest."

I nodded and the doctor and his assistant left the room. Ugh being in a hospital bed is so depressing. Does dying feel like this? Really. I said to myself, being busy with my thoughts and having no clue as to what happened. What would it be like to have my voice again?

The black returned...will I ever see the sun again?

A nightmare from the pits of hell is what boggled my mind as my eyes fell yet again, into a numbing, motionless sleep.

. . . . .

"..Hey..um...I'm Cameron." An attractive senior guy said, eying me up and down. A stupid smirk on his handsome face, eyes never leaving mine.

"Hi, I'm Valerie." I added shyly, feeling very uncomfortable. Oh boy, I wasn't into conversations like this. My conversations with boys were always awkward and god, I was only a junior in high school. What made talking to a senior guy in high school any difference? Oh wait, having my brother embarrass the hell out of me because I'm his shy little sister who needs to be taken care of.

"I'm 18 years old. How old are you?" Cameron added, trying to continue the conversation.

"Uh...17 years old. I just moved here about several months ago." I said, trying to continue the conversation despite feeling the butterflies. Boy, was my brother gonna embarrass me again? He always did.

"So...um...Valerie, I've seen you around and well, I heard that you have a mental illness. Is that true?" He replied shyly, rubbing his neck while continuing to walk with me.

"Er...yes. Where did you get that from?" I exclaimed, the butterflies swallowing me now.

"Uh...a friend of mine." He continued, his shoulders shrugged.

"I gotta go." I said in a rush, leaving Cameron in the middle of the hallway. My brother loved to ruin my life. That's for sure. If Cameron knew about me, then there was no way I was ever gonna make it through the rest of high school.

Could it be possible to live a normal life and not be bothered?

. . . . .

"Val...Val...Val!" A young male voice shouted in my ear, his arms shaking the bed I slept in.

"Wha...t? Who is it? What do you want from me?" I asked in a rush. My eyes shot open, hands balled up in fists.

"Who the hell are you? I asked, wondering who the hell would call me that.

"Uh...no...I'm your older brother, Anthony." He responded, a dumbfound stare upon his face. There was no way he could be my brother. Why would he call me Val? That's not my name.

"Get the hell out of here! NOW!" I shouted, pissed off that this guy would show up in my hospital room and tell me that he's my brother.

"Wha...t?" He muttered, completely dumbfounded, a nurse ushers him out of the room, returning shortly after getting him out of my sight.

"So...it seems to me like you need medicine." She gazed at me, her eyes distraught, dumbfounded by my temper. Why would she be in shock?

"Uh...no, thank you." I added, not enjoying her suggestion. Boy, did I hate being put to sleep?

"Well...Ms. Grace, you've seemed to find your voice again." The nurse responded, sarcasm in her voice, judging by hearing curses outside the door. Something told me that I was getting better, slowly but surely. The pain was still there, but my voice was an improvement from giving out hand signals. Would I be out of the hospital?

An uneasiness registered in my stomach as I took in what the nurse said. Something told me I wasn't ready to see the outside world again.