A/N: Sorry for another SongFic but this one was by special request and I'm a sucker for requests.
Disclaimer: As always, wish I did but I don't. I'd like to thank the Gods of Music for giving me such an amazing song to borrow inspiration from.
Summary: Dean is alone…again…wondering if he will ever find his other half. Destiel. Yup, I wrote it… I've gone full force to the dark side! Bwahahah! Reviews help me get to my happy place!
Storm
Lifehouse
well how long have I
been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's
shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head
Sometimes it seemed as if there was no way out. It was as if his life was one long fight in which there was no winner…no loser…just pain. It was if he was born for one purpose and even death could not stop him from serving it. The scars on his body were too numerous to count. The scars on his soul ran deeper and would never heal. But, it was the scars on his heart that caused him the most pain.
There was a time when he had loved. He had given his heart to another but his life made that chance at happiness impossible. The job was done and he had moved on. That was just the way it had to be. At least he thought that was the way it had to be before… before his angel had come and saved him from himself.
if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see you
this darkness would turn to light
Now he was all alone, again. His brother was gone. His angel was gone. There was only him and his memories. And now he was beginning to doubt even those memories… was any of it ever real? Had he truly been loved as he had thought? They had said it was forever but forever was just a dream because his angel had left him to face the darkness alone.
Each time he felt the wind shift he hoped to see him. Each time he heard the quiet flutter of wings his heart ached. He knew that somewhere his angel was watching, he could feel the weight of his stare but when he turned to find him…he was never there. If he closed his eyes he could swear he felt the whisper of a kiss…his kiss…and the knowledge that he might never feel that kiss again was killing him
.
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything will be alright
He wasn't strong enough to stand alone. He had never been strong enough. He had always had someone to stand beside. First Dad, then Sammy…then him. Each of them always believed that he was the one protecting them but they never knew the truth. Without them he was nothing, he had nothing. Without them he was lost.
He prayed every night…he would try anything, even prayer… He asked whoever was listening to please send him back the one person that could save him. He needed his angel back on earth. He needed someone to hold his hand and keep him from stumbling in the darkness. He needed to have back his reason for breathing, for waking each day…for living.
I know you didn't
bring me out here to drown
so why am I ten feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
He couldn't understand why his angel had left him. What could possibly be more important to him than the love they had shared? He had given up everything to be with him and now his sacrifice was for nothing. As soon as the war was averted they took him away again. There was always someone taking something away from him. Only now…now there was nothing left to take.
He held on to the hope that his angel would return. He held on to the belief that there was a purpose to his being alive. His angel wouldn't have risked so much to drag him out of Hell just to leave him alone here. This couldn't be the end of everything they had. So he held on, each day, taking each breath in anticipation of being reunited.
if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I see you
this darkness would turn to light
At night he dreamed of his angel. He relived all of the tenderness that he had felt in that touch. He replayed the scenes that had brought them to each other. He remembered the small details of each encounter. Each memory was haunting…the first time he felt safe, the first time he felt loved…the first time he knew that his heart echoed that love. He could see the brilliance of the light that shone in those blue eyes and he knew that light existed only for him.
There would never be another that would make him feel the way he felt when his angel held him tightly in his arms. There was no other person on earth that could even come close to his perfection. They were matched, fated, wedded one soul to the other. Without his other half he knew he would eventually wilt and die. He needed the warmth of that love to grow and thrive.
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
I know everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
everything's alright
everything's gonna be fine
His angel had stood beside him against the greatest enemy he could face. He had turned his back on his family to be with him. He had rebelled against everything he had ever known to show him how much he was loved. He had almost lost his own existence to give him just one more moment to try to save his own brother. Why? Why would he do so much, give so much, then leave?
He had to believe. There was no other option. He had to hold on to the memory of that love and the knowledge that nothing could separate them forever. He knew in his heart that they would find each other again. It didn't matter how long it took. He had nothing but time left…time to search, time to wait, time to pray. And if time ran out…then he had one final hope…that somehow, someway, he had finally earned his place in Heaven and there…they would finally be together… forever.