Porcelain
Lyrics by Better Than Ezra
Story by Bean Burrito (April)

[Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters.

Hey, you've got a lot of nerve to show your face around here
Hey, you've got a lot of nerve to dredge up all my fears

Relena sat on the front porch enjoying the sunset. She took a slow sip of her tea, then set the glass back down on the wicker stool next to her.

A lean figure was walking up the driveway. Relena squinted against the sun's glare, trying to see her visitor.

"Heero," she said darkly, her face becoming stony. That Heero had some nerve, coming around when Relena was making such progress getting over him.
*-*-*

Well, I wish I could shake some sense into you and walk out the door

"What are you doing here," she called, trying to sound lighthearted.

"We need to talk, Relena." Heero came closer and stood on the lowest step.

"There's nothing to talk about," Relena said evenly. "I'm out of your life. I'm over you now." Well, that last bit was only partly true. She was doing well, though, no longer desperate for Heero's affection.
*-*-*

But your skin is like porcelain
Yeah, your skin is like porcelain

Please, leave now, Relena silently urged.

This was why Relena had been working so hard to avoid Heero. She'd tried to be friendly at first, but found it impossible to break the old cycle. Even a glimpse of Heero walking down the street would send her several steps back, and she couldn't afford to do that.

You're too beautiful, Relena thought. Just go away.
*-*-*

Just the other day I felt I had you by a string
Just the other day I felt we could be everything

Relena thought back disgustedly to last week. She'd thought she had Heero. She honestly believed they'd be able to have a life together. How idiotic, her and this cold-hearted, unloving boy.
*-*-*

But now when I see you, you're somebody else
In somebody's eyes and your skin

But how? Heero wondered. How could she have changed her mind so quickly?

He looked into Relena's eyes - eyes which had once held love, hope, and yes, even desperation. Now he saw nothing.
*-*-*

But your skin is like porcelain
Yeah, your skin is like porcelain

Heero wanted so badly to walk over to Relena, to touch her cheek, brush her silky hair off her face. Why had she changed her mind at such a bad time? Why couldn't I have realized it sooner? he wondered sadly.
*-*-*

I don't know what I'm saying
Well, I don't know if you're there

Well, now what? Heero wondered. Is the old Relena in there somewhere? Can I reach her?

"Relena," Heero began softly, "I've missed you." He looked down at Relena's bare feet.
*-*-*

In the words you are feigning
Do you even care?

Relena wanted so badly to leap out of her chair and rush over to Heero. Self control, she told herself. You've made it this far, you can't go back now.

"I don't want to hear it, Heero. I've moved on."

Heero took a deep, shaky breath. "Why, Relena? Why now?" He dropped his voice to a barely audible whisper. "Oh, this is such bad timing."

No, no. He wouldn't stand there and lose any more of his dignity. Heero threw a single red rose down at Relena's feet and walked away silently.
*-*-*

Well I wish I could kill you
Savor the sight

Heero clenched his fists angrily. He was mad at himself for not realizing he loved Relena sooner. He was mad at Relena for changing her mind at the worst possible time. He was mad at the world for love existing in the first place.

Should have shot her when I had the chance, before any of this started, he thought morosely. I sure as hell can't do it now.
*-*-*

Get into my car, drive into the night

Heero slammed his car door, overstarted the engine. He turned the radio up and squealed the tires as he drove away.

Then lie as I scream to the heavens above
That I was the last one you ever loved
Yes, your skin is like porcelain

He stopped his care about ten feet away from the edge of the cliff. He got out and slammed the door again.

Slowly, Heero approached the edge of the cliff. He looked down, brokenhearted.

Closer, closer.

Twelve inches from the edge.

Six.

Two.

Heero reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He removed a picture of a smiling Relena. He tore the picture up into bits, looked at the tiny scraps of paper in his hand. He threw the scraps over the edge of the cliff and turned away, howling with rage and anguish.

But your skin is like porcelain
Yeah, your skin is like porcelain