HowCan I Tell You I Love You?
Even the best fall down sometimes. Even the stars refuse to shine. Out of the back you fall in time. I somehow find, you and I collide.
-Howie Day, 'Collide'
Chapter One
I took a deep breath and checked the tuning of my guitar one more time. I was standing backstage at a coffee-shop on open mic night. I was slightly nervous, I always was, but I'd done this enough to know that my nerves would go away the moment I started playing. The boy who had been performing came back behind the curtain and gave me a blank look. He had read gothic poetry, and I was pretty sure I could top that. I strummed a cord as he walked away, mocking him a bit, and headed out on stage. I was enveloped in the blue and purple light that lit the stage from above. I made my way over to the microphone and adjusted it to my height. I looked around the crowd briefly and saw Kagura sitting near the stage waving at me. With her was a boy whom I vaguely recognized, but didn't give much thought to at the time.
I placed my hands on the guitar and played the first note of my song. By the time I got through the intro of the song and started singing my nerves were far behind. I'd sung this song so many times that I could play it in my sleep. It was one of the first songs I had written, which was why I loved it so much. People had started clapping in time with the beat of the song, but I hardly noticed. I was in my world, the one I could only access through my music. There critics and fans didn't exist. It was just the music.
The last note of my song echoed slightly in the large room and then people began to clap, not just politely, but approvingly. I smiled and walked off the stage. I found my guitar case among the other people waiting to go on and also my school bag. I had just latched my case shut when someone grabbed me around the neck.
"K-Kagura," I coughed. "Stop strangling me!"
"Hehe, sorry." She said, letting go. "Oh! I brought someone with me for you to meet. This is Hatsuharu-kun; he's also a Sohma who goes to our high school, a freshman." I nodded to him. Now I knew why I recognized him before on the stage. Hatsuharu gave me a peace sign and said;
"I prefer Haru, thanks." Now I actually looked at Haru instead of just treating him like a background person. I was surprised to see that his taste in clothing was a lot like mine.
He wore a white muscle shirt with a black leather jacket over it. The jacket was kind of worn, like he'd had it a long time, but it went well with his faded blue jeans. He had on black combat boots too. But it wasn't his outfit that made him appealing, it was his accessories. Haru had about three dog tags dangling from his neck, all on different lengths of silver chain. He had the sleeves of his jacket rolled up which enabled me to see that he had a black wrist band on with a picture of a guitar on it. On the other wrist he had a spiked leather bracelet. As I looked up to his face I noticed that his ears were pierced, twice on one ear and once on the other. He had two silver studs in the ear that was pierced twice and a thin silver hoop on the other. And finally there was his hair. It was black at the roots, but the hair that spiked out in all directions was white.
"Nice hair," I told him with a smile, and I truly did think it was cute. Haru chuckled.
"Year of the ox." He explained. I nodded and picked up my school bag and slung my guitar case strap over my shoulder and gave Kagura a look. She gave me a mischievous smile that I didn't like.
"Haru-kun have you eaten?" she asked.
"Nah, I was gonna go home and throw sumthin' in the oven." He replied, shrugging and putting his hands in his pockets.
"We should all go somewhere!" Kagura said excitedly. Haru nodded, but he wasn't looking at Kagura. He was looking at me, I could feel his gaze on me from the moment Kagura had introduced him. It wasn't as if he had a reason to stare either. I wasn't revealing anything because I was wearing a T-shirt and jeans. The jeans were black and a bit tight, but not enough so to make him stare. My shirt was grey with silver stars sprinkled on it and the whole shirt had a faded look to it.
Kagura was now looking at me expectantly and I broke out of the daze staring at Haru staring at me had put me in.
"I don't care." I told her plainly.
"Yay!" Kagura grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the exit. "Haru-kun, do you need a ride?" Haru looked a little perplexed at everything, but shook his head.
"I've got a bike." He told her.
"A bike?! No, no let us drive you in Rin-chan's car." I pulled my hand out of her grasp and said exasperatedly;
"He means a motorcycle Kagura, sheesh you can be dim." Haru chuckled and nodded.
"Yeah, that is what I mean Kagura-san." I reached into my pants pocket and handed the keys to Kagura.
"You drive the car; I want to ride with Haru. If that's ok with you I mean." I said, turning to him.
"Fine by me, I can't complain about having a pretty girl riding with me." He smirked. My cheeks turned slightly pink, but I nodded and followed him out of the back entrance and to his motorcycle. Kagura pursued us and told Haru;
"Follow me and I'll lead you to the place we're eating. I know Rin likes it there and pretty much everyone else I know does too cause you can eat, like, anything." I rolled my eyes at her secretiveness but decided not to say anything. I watched Kagura walk over to our car and then turned to Haru.
He was rummaging in one of the bike's side bags and came up with a spare helmet. He handed it to me and I flipped it to the back examine it's design. Most the helmet was black but it had purple flames on the side and some swirls on the back. I looked up from this helmet and glanced at Haru. His helmet was black also but with a small jet of white and light blue flame starting from above the ear and going around to the back of his head.
"Ready to go?" He asked, putting his helmet on.
"Oh… yeah, sorry about that." Haru chuckled.
"No problem. I get a lot of stares." I nodded and put his spare helmet on before climbing onto the bike behind him.
"Have you ever ridden before?" He asked looking back at me through the shaded visor on his helmet.
"Actually, no." I replied, feeling slightly ashamed. But Haru smiled reassuringly.
"Don't worry, just hold on tight cause I don't think you're the type that wants me to ride easy even if you're a beginner."
I shook my head.
"You got that right." I told him, grinning despite myself. Haru turned back to the handle bars and started the engine.
"Alright, hold on!" He yelled over the noise. And then without any further warning, Haru stepped on the gas and we bounded out of the parking lot after Kagura. I gasped slightly at the speed and grabbed Haru around the waist. He glanced back at me with a grin on his face and I couldn't help but smile at him as well.
Haru followed Kagura to the restaurant/dance club. It was geared towards underage teens, which meant that it didn't serve alcohol. However, it was fun to hang out there because they served good food and the owner liked us. Kagura had picked the perfect spot for us to go because even if you didn't want to eat there, you could dance and even sometimes sing karaoke. I could hear the thumps of the music coming from the club even over the wind and the motorcycle engine. For some reason I was really excited and I didn't usually enjoy being surrounded by a lot of people unless I was singing.
Haru slowed down and parked in a spot close to the entrance. Kagura had to circle around the parking lot for awhile to find a space. That gave me and Haru time to take our helmets off and straighten ourselves out before going into the club.
"Your hair is everywhere." Haru commented with a slight laugh. He reached out to push some misplaced strands back into place. But I moved away from him and fixed them myself using the mirror on the side of his motorcycle. In truth I was trying to hide my blush. I scolded myself for being so silly. I just met Haru, why should he be affecting me like this? I was possessed to blame him, the way he was acting. He was being very… forward with me. Not in the way that I wanted him to stop, but I could tell that he liked me.
Kagura caught up with us outside the restaurant and we all went in together. The awkward moment that had just passed between me and Haru was forgotten for the time being. Haru held the door open for me and Kagura and we entered the dim club. The volume of the music hit us like a wave when we entered. Kagura led the way to a booth and suggested we eat before we danced. We all ordered a big pizza to share. However, the food was soon gone and I was faced with the idea that this whole thing was just another one of Kagura's schemes to hook me up with a guy. It hadn't occurred to me at first because I had liked Haru so much, but now I saw what she had in mind.
Slow dances. Every two hours they played slow songs that weren't called couple dances but everyone treated them like one. Kagura surely had planned for me to dance with Haru for one of these dances. But I had an idea that would completely freak her out, as long as Haru was willing to cooperate. I had a feeling I would have no trouble with that.
We waited until our table was cleared and then Kagura was pushing us onto the dance floor. It was easy to fall into the beat of a fast paced techno song. However I was constantly aware of Haru's movements near me. It might just be the slight brush of his arm against mine or the way he drew close and appeared like he would wrap his arms around me but then drew away at the last moment. And the funny thing was that I was almost sure he knew that I knew he was teasing me. I was so confused by him, but that was also why I felt drawn to him. I wanted to figure him out. But mostly I wanted to tell him my plan to freak Kagura out.
"Haru," I said, dancing closer to him and putting my hand on his chest, then pushing him away teasingly.
"Yes?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at my teasing. I waved for him to lean in closer. Kagura was occupied with another school friend at the moment so she didn't notice us.
"I want to play a trick on Kagura. You see, she's always trying to hook me up with guys, but you're the first one I've actually liked." I could see Haru's taken aback look as he listened to me talk. I decided to overlook the fact that I had just told him something I didn't just come out and say to anyone. I explained my plan to him and we decided we would put it into action right away.
AN: for this particular story I thought it would look better if I put the author's notes at the end of the chapters. Disclaimers will also be put here too. I know this is so OOC that it's almost AU, but we don't know that much about Rin so I almost have to guess what she was like before she got pushed out the window. I hope I did ok.
Disclaimers: I don't own Fruits Basket, Natsuki Takaya takes care of that. I also don't own the song 'Collide' by Howie Day.