Spy Guy:...or should I say Cheese?

Hello everybody everybody...

I wrote a Rukario Story last night. hehehe...

Some may be wondering what that is. I used to write these all the time. For those of you who know, and remember, Have fun...

For those of you who don't, hopefully still have fun. I hope that after writing depressing things for so long, I still have the touch.

So here it is. Enjoy.

May learns to drive.

It was a rather normal looking day in pallet town…a rather normal looking day indeed. A very rather normal looking day, if I might say so myself…

But now I'm just talking.

This was actually to be a rather extraordinary ordinary normal day in Pallet town…which in the end would turn out to not be rather ordinary or normal in any way, shape, or form.

This also happens to be the day that May…got her learners permit.

Now in the real world, you don't get your permit until you pass driver's training but…this is a world where ten-year-olds are allowed to run around without adult supervision facing wild animals on a daily basis. So May was allowed to get her driver's permit, without ever having actually driven a day in her life…which is a not good thing…

We now join the gang, sitting in Ash's living room, listening to Tracy give a lecture on driving.

"Now…" The boy began. "As me, being entrusted with the care and management of the Prof.'s van, I would say that I am the only one in this room qualified enough to teach May how to drive."

"Oh, Flibbertyschmoppit, Tracy." Rukario groaned. "We all know May shouldn't be on the road at all, so this is all entirely pointless."

"Hey!" May snapped, glaring daggers at the blue dude. "If you can drive, anyone can."

The room fell silent.

"Oh snap…" Rukario simply said. "Did May just insult me?"

"Every day's a new adventure." Ash grinned broadly.

"No, no, no." Rukario continued, waving his arms about madly. "That is just something that May does not do."

"Drop it." Misty groaned.

"I will not, ever lovin drop it." The Pokemon cried. "There are things that happen, and things that don't, and this is one of the things that don't…happen…never!"

"Hey people!" May shrieked. The room fell silent.

"Smeesh." The girl continued. "You seem to be forgetting the two people who have the lime light today."

"Thank you May." Tracy grinned. "Now…"

"Me and Pierre are going to have a blast!" May pressed on. "We're going to the mall, and Moomoola's to get deluxe moo moo lattes with whipped cream, and cherries."

"My name's Tracy…" The boy said softly.

May's eyes traveled to Tracy, confusion written over her face.

"Really?" She asked, cocking her head. "I could have sworn it was Pierre. You look kinda French to me."

"This is the person who insulted you, Rukario." Misty sneered.

"Oh snap." Rukario simply said. "She did. Am I really that easy to make fun of? I thought I was better than that."

"And this is from someone who wears the same pair of pants every day." Ash snickered.

Rukario's face paled.

"And now Ash insulted me?" He cried. "Something must be terribly wrong with the universe! Only then could Ash Ketchum insult someone like me!"

Rukario glared hard at the boy.

"What kind of name is Ash anyway? Is that short for Ashley?" He sneered.

"We've already been over this." Ash groaned. "Yes, my real name is Ashley. Yes we've already talked about it. And yes, I like to sniff new paperback books. The better insult would be, 'What kind of name is Ketchum? Is that like short for Gotta-catch-em-all?' which as you know, is the former slogan for the Pokemon franchise. Get with the times Rukario."

The Pokemon's eye twitched violently.

"Now I know something is wrong." Rukario said. "And in this badly written crack fic, I am going to figure out what…if it ever snappin kills me!"

With that he raced out the door, dramatically slamming it behind him.

"He'll be back in a few hours." Misty said. "Now…we just have to survive May's driving."

"This sucks." Max growled.

Meanwhile…

And so, Rukario set out on his journey, to go where no little blue dude had ever gone before...

The cave of phenomenal wonder!!!

Or some other stupid clichéd thing. I'm not feeling very creative right now, so you fill in the pieces. :D (ignore the smiley…it will haunt your dreams.)

After sneaking back into the house to grab his worn green backpack (filled to the brim with chocolate bars), our hero headed forth, to face whatever obstacles that might be in his way. He would be brave, fearless, strong…

Still not feeling creative. Use a thesaurus to figure out some other words for what Rukario might be feeling.

Ones appropriate to the story.

It was a while later that Rukario found himself in a field walking through tall green grass. It was a beautiful day…

The sun was shining brightly…in his face.

"I should have brought some cool shades." He groaned, attempting to shield his eyes with a paw.

"Weeeellllll…maybe you need some cool tapes." Said a bored voice.

"Oh snap!" Rukario cried, turning around sharply…

No one was there.

"It's ok…" He panted. "I've been in the sun so long, I'm starting to hallucinate. Next I'll start singing annoying food jingles."

"Oooooohhhh…I love the one about Band-Aids."

"Ice cold milk and an Oreo cookie!" Rukario sang dementedly. "Cookies…cookies…"

"…'cause Band-Aid's stuck on me."

"Where are you?" The Pokemon asked.

"ummm…" The voice replied. "On the ground?"

Rukario looked down, only to be greeted by a girl, about May's age, just chilling in the grass, a white wool hat pulled over her face.

"You are not a very observant person." She smiled wryly. "You didn't think of looking down. Silly Lucario."

Rukario stiffened up.

"It's Rukario to you." He snapped.

"Lucario." She replied, her smile growing. "If we're going to change the first letters of our names…then I'll be…Lawn, because I think the letter 'L' is the best letter of them all."

"Oh snap." Rukario groaned. "Another weirdy."

"I'm not at all weird." Lawn said, sitting up. "You are. I mean…who wears pants like those?"

"Hey!" The Pokemon snarled. "I'll have you know that those pants were in style years ago. And what goes around comes around!"

"Not with those pants."

Rukario's mouth opened to retort, but his mind went blank. Instead, he simply growled, and spat,

"What the heck are you doing, laying in the middle of a field?"

"Hiding from the E.T.'s." Lawn replied.

"The who what when's?" Ruakrio asked.

"The U.F.O.'s." The girl replied, sitting up. "Aliens? They abducted my Penguiny Pokemon thingy, and they're probably going to come after me next. Them U.F.O's have space-tacular flyingny ships that can go twice the speed of toast."

Rukario stared at her for a moment.

"Uh-huh." He said dully. "Are you sure they haven't already picked you up?"

Lawn's face fell.

"You're right!" She cried. "They probably have! Earlier, I was staring at the sun, and I saw this dark shape…and wherever I looked…it was there! It had to be the ship, and they've abducted me…" She suddenly turned to Rukario. "And you're not real! You're a figment of my imagination!"

The girl seized the Pokemon's shoulder's and began shaking him madly.

"Go away you U.F.O induced by-product of my imagination! No one in their right mind would wear those pants! No one!"

"Lay of the caffeine lady." Rukario said, trying to hold down his breakfast of chocolate crispies. "And Sharpies were not meant to be sniffed."

Ummm…ok…meanwhile…

"Ok May." Tracy said calmly. "Check all your mirrors."

"Why?" The girl asked. "They're all there. Isn't that obvious?"

"No May…" The boy replied, gritting his teeth. "For the tenth time, you have to be able to see the windows."

"What?"

"The windows May!" Tracy screamed. "You have to be able to see the windows or we'll likely burst into a flaming hot ball of flame!! Adjust your mirrors now May, before we drive to our deaths!"

May screamed, randomly pushing buttons.

Tracy yelped as his seat shot up, his head hitting the roof.

"Oh." The girl smiled. "They're already looking at the windows. Silly me."

Tracy groaned as his seat slid back into place…

"Oh Flibbertyschmoppit…Just put you foot on the break and shift into drive."

May did so, taking the drive shaft in her hands, and moving it to the D button.

"Good." Tracy smiled. "Now…we're going to put it into reverse now, so we can get out of the garage. Now you—"

"I know how!" May squealed happily. Her foot pounded down on the gas, sending the van hurling through the Prof's garage, and taking down several Diglett along the way…but diglet are pretty much useless, so it wasn't that big of a loss.

"Break May! Break!" Tracy screamed, holding onto the seat for dear life.

"I'm already pushing the break, Pierre!" She cried. "We got out of there fast!"

Spy Guy: Yeahs. hehehe...It feels good to write these again.