Title: And the biggest hypocrite of the month award goes to...
Characters/Pairing: Tony, some Steve/Tony
Rating: G
Word Count: 560
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers or Batman, though I'd love a Tony!
Warnings: Mild slash
Summary: Tony has some interesting criticisms of Batman

The Avengers were all hanging out in one of the many living rooms in Stark Tower, mostly contemplating on the spectacularly bad decision to introduce a certain member of their group to the Batman comics. Tony was lying on the sofa, comic in hand, his legs resting across Steve's lap. The others were all spread across the room, watching the television in the background while Tony felt the need to rant about all of Batman's perceived flaws to himself while reading. Of course, with Tony, that meant there were a lot.
"You know, I don't get how this guy thinks it's a good idea to spend his entire family fortune on becoming a vigilante. Seriously, just let the cops handle it. Basically it all comes down to 'Oooo, my parents died! Nobody loves me!' What a crybaby."
Natasha wasn't sure what was more annoying, the fact that Tony couldn't keep it to himself or the fact that he clearly didn't realise exactly what he was saying. Well, if anyone could be that obnoxious, it was Tony Stark.
"Also, what's with the cape? What, is he from the 60s?"
Thor shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He quite liked his cape thank you very much, and he did not like the tone in which Tony spoke of them.
"Also, a butler that does everything for him? Can't he cook? Seriously, does Alfred have no self-respect? I'd have left already."
The others looked at him, not quite believing what they were hearing. Could Tony Stark truly be that oblivious?

Tony continued on, unaware of the looks he was getting from his team mates.
"Also, Gotham City. What are they, fucking helpless? Why do they need a masked man to catch all the bad guys! I bet a bunch of New Yorkers could sort out the joker easily."
Mouths opened wider.
"Why doesn't he kill the villains? Why lock them where they can just escape again? I don't get it!"
Clint wrung the tv remote in his hands trying not to say anything.
"And Robin, what's going on there? You can't say that's not weird. That's weird."
Bruce cradled his head in his hands, trying to stifle both a laugh and a deflated sigh.
"Ugh, he's so dependent on his gadgets. Can't he do anything on his own?"
Steve gripped the arm of the sofa tightly, the material making distressed noises under the sheer pressure his fingers were putting on it.

Soon Tony was finished his comic. He stretched and then looked up to see the rest of the team in various states of disbelief, all staring at him. He seemed to cower a little under the intensity of their gazes.
"Hey, why is everyone looking at me?" he asked, less of the usual Tony confidence evident in his voice.
Clint looked at him, before layering on the most sarcastic tone possible in human speech, "Hmm," he said, stroking his chin and looking around at the others. "What other billionaire with daddy issues, a flashy costume and someone who cleans up their messes do we know?" He looked back at Tony and fixed him with an accusatory stare.
"Huh?" Tony took a moment, before realisation dawned on him. "Hey, no wait! That's not fair!"