Disclaimer: I don't own the Lorax or his universe, but I do mess with him ;)
A/N: Ok, I keep telling myself that this is a completely unrelated short from the other I finished, but somehow I get the sinking feeling that all this is just a way for Ted to get back at the Lorax...
How it Works
The squat, orange "Guardian of the Forest of Barbaloots and Swamee-Swans and Humming Fish" shifted nervously on his orange feet. He could sense the small barbaloot he had beside him staring up at him.
"Now worries Kiddo, they're harmless...for the most part" the Lorax said in what he hoped was a soothing tone; this was hard pulled when he was as nervous as he was, though.
On Trial by the other Forest Guardians was not a place one of them ever wanted to find themselves.
Unbeknownst to how humans knew of the system, if they knew of it at all, there were varying guardians for varying forests. One or the other of the Lorax' kin were not tied to any one forest if they didn't feel a particular call there, but most did form up attachments that made them the main "call Lorax" for trouble in a particular nature area.
Though "Lorax" was truthfully the best way to describe what each of these creatures were, only the orange one now fidgeting went by "The Lorax", all the others formed up names that seemed suitable to them and their purposes.
Again, hard understood by humans, but it worked.
From within the etherial sort of realm that would be even harder put into words, where the Lorax and small barbaloot found themselves, the guardian tapped his foot. "There doing this on purpose, the waiting..." he stated in a low tone to himself, though the barbaloot tilted it's head in wondering if the Lorax addressed him.
Almost as if to prove this statement wrong, a door...of cloud, "opened" from off to the "side" of where the two stood.
Varying creatures, all of the Lorax' height if with different features and colors, filed in.
One hopped up on a sort of etherial pedestal, like a judging bench, while the others took seats in chairs around the Lorax, encircling him and the tiny forest creature with him in the center of the room still standing (though the barbaloot was actually sitting upon what was suppose to count as the floor).
The creature on the judging bench, a green Lorax with no mustache but two stocks of yellow hair done up about the ears in what was suppose to come off as a dignified hairdo, placed glasses upon it's nose and held up a file folder that seemed to have materialized that second.
"Let it be known, the rules and strictures regarding this, the Workings Trial" the green Lorax began, for mere formalities sake, as all present knew how this worked.
"Lorax be equal, all among them, and thereby all trials are conducted on a peer judging peer basis, but some are granted seat of the Judge for a certain trail on merit of good behavior and guardian skills. That seat currently being held by myself" there was a small sort of a please smile after this.
"Yeah we got it, Missy" Our Lorax (as he shall be called, to the agreeal of all, the narrator hopes) suddenly spoke up, regarding the Lorax creature who was of course female. Not that gender distinctions did the ancient race of creatures never born any good at all.
The green Lorax seemed to bristle at the interruption. "Lorax of the Truffula Tree Forest!" she snapped out harshly, "I would advise you, Sir, not to interrupt your own trial! The results could be disastrous".
Still glaring, she tapped the folder on her bench, as if settling the papers inside. "Now then, you are brought before this gathering of Lorax on the charge of having threatened life by...".
"Uh, if I may..." Our Lorax raised his hand, "that's not entirely...".
"I'm not done" the green Lorax glared, "and what did I say about interrupting?".
A red Lorax raised it's hand next from within the circle, "I believe the Truffula Forest Protector has a point, though ill put, and our official terming of his offense is Endangerment of Life, not so much Threatened..."
"Yes, yes, that's what I meant" the Judging Lorax cut in.
"Although, how he phrased his warning of before is suspect..." a purple Lorax, Guardian of Nool, and rarely called into action, stated quietly. "After all, words have always spoken louder than actions".
"It's actually the other way around, you know?" a yellow of his companions pointed out, leaning over to him.
"Yes, but the words must come first" the Nool Guardian said, "words and promises are of utmost importance, as is following through on them of course, why you could just ask one of my...".
"Excuse me Sirs" the Judging Lorax cut in, in that sarcastic way that is most often used to reprimand under cover of the words, "if we may get back to the actual trial at hand we were all gathered for...".
The two promptly shut up.
"Now then..." the Judging Lorax adjusted her glasses (that as a mystical creature she didn't need and only used because she felt it her right as a judge to use them). She glanced to the papers she held. "By our account, your forest has recently been invaded by a human intending to cut the trees, is this correct?" she glanced to Our Lorax.
"Uh, yeah" he nodded, "but he's actually promised not to...".
"I was merely verifying" the Judging Lorax cut in, "you may give your defense in a moment once all is cleared as being accurate or not". Another adjusting of her glasses. "Now then...it is put down here on record that you gave one warning, including mention of your powers to attempt to scare the human off, correct?" she glanced over.
"Yeah..." Our Lorax nodded, then tried to go on, but was cut off once more.
"After that and his refusal you coerced your own charges into breaking and entering and theft of his bed and plunked said human in the river, endangering the youngest of your charges along with the act, correct?".
"Well technically..." Our Lorax sighed and gestured.
The Judge went on, "Not to mention that your endangering this human's life as well was a direct violation of the strictures we refer to as How It Works, so as to be understood by the lesser intelligence of humans".
Our Lorax couldn't help chuckling to himself as he imagined how the Once-ler, who found him so annoying, would find this Lorax and her statement. He imagined the Beanpole's statements he would no doubt throw at the creature after this last bit, and finally could not control his snicker enough to not be heard.
The judging Lorax glared over to him. "You find your trespasses amusing?"
"No" Our Lorax curbed his laughter, "I was just...you haven't met any actual humans, have you?" he suddenly asked the green Lorax.
She looked shocked, "Well...no" she offered.
"Didn't think so" Our Lorax smirked, "otherwise you wouldn't have the audacity to say that".
"Yes, and when you meet humans, you get brought before us on such charges as you now face!" the green Lorax quickly shot back.
Our Lorax bristled and frowned at the judge, continuing lowly. "We'll if ya'd let me talk there, as you can see Pipsqueak is just fine" he indicated to the Barbaloot sitting next to him just watching all curiously. "And Beanpole's even fine, so I don't see...".
"Excuse me". Apparently none of the Council were going to really let him talk, and another of the Jury now spoke with a slight raise of his hand, "Beanpole? Who...who is that?".
Our Lorax felt his stomach sink with a really bad feeling. The entire Jury as well as the Judge were now watching him, awaiting an answer silently. Now they wanted him to talk!
Trouble was...he wasn't sure it would really help.
"Well...uh...", he nonetheless tried, "Beanpole's kinda...what I been...callin' the...human, purely in insult I promise you!" he hurried, yet it didn't seem to stay much.
"You have named the human who invaded your forest and whom you almost killed a name differing than his own? Almost like they do animals? Almost as if you are...fond of".
"No! I hate the kid, honest!" Our Lorax spoke above the murmurs now starting. From next to him, Pipsqueak looked shocked and then frowned as if Our Lorax had said that about him. How... how could their Guardian say such about the very nice human with the marshmallows?
Catching the look, and in no fear of being over heard against the clamor the murmurs were turning to, Our Lorax sighed and held his hands out, trying to make the little guy understand him.
"Not really, Pipsqueak. I like Beanpole, honest, I just can't let them...".
"Lorax of the Truffula Tree Forest!" the Judge called his attention to her once more.
At first he worried over what she had heard, but she was merely gaining control back over the situation. She tapped her gavel a bit and quieted all once more before going on. She peered down at Our Lorax gravely.
"Whether you have named this human or not in an attempt to undo your trespass, the trespass still stands and must be dealt with. Now then, I had you bring the Barbaloot who was injured by your negligence to speak in all fairness, but rest assured if he has been scripted on what to say we will know about it".
The Judge shifted her papers again, almost off habit, or just wanting to do such and remind herself of her position.
"Now, since to bring a human anywhere near here would be a further affront to nature and abomination worse than what he's caused, will the only witness we have to the incidents of the river step forward?" she indicated to Pipsqueak.
The little guy glanced back to Our Lorax unsurely, and the orange Guardian nudged him. "It's alright, Pipsqueak, she won't bit, 'scept with words".
The green Judging Lorax narrowed her eyes, but remained official. Pipsqueak waddled over a bit and glanced up.
"You have no doubt heard of all the charges?" the Judging Lorax asked, and for all her harshness of before, she spoke to the Barbaloot in a tone that could be deemed kind, it just also wasn't over patronizing, which was all in all probably a nice change of pace to how Pipsqueak was mostly spoken to.
The little Barbaloot glanced around to all the Guardians and then came what may shock the reader, but shall be explained, the little guy peeped in a smallish tone, "Uh, Yes Ma'am".
The narrator will now explain where Pipsqueak "acquired this ability to talk". Simply put, he always had it.
Both Our Lorax and all others of the Guardian kind of course used the human tongue when talking to the Once-ler and any other humans they encountered, but understood both animal and tree speech as well.
With this understanding, Pipsqueak's normal chatter was free to be understood.
After his answer in the affirmative of having at least heard and understood, to the best of his ability, the facts of the trial, the Judging Lorax went on. "And do you now fear being under your Lorax's care after he so blatantly put you in such danger? I should state you may speak completely freely and fear no replications from said negligent Lorax. He can do nothing to you in retaliation as we stand here and watch later on".
Our Lorax's fists were balled so tight they were a paler orange color, "I think that's leading the witness, Missy!".
"I would ask you show respect and call me Your Honor, Sir!" the Judge shot to him.
"Over my felled tree!" Our Lorax exclaimed.
There were gasps from the jury.
"Ah, Who's Splat..." Our Lorax muttered.
"You would swear by and on the horrendous death of one of your trees?!" one of the Jury asked in a shocked tone.
"No, that was a mistake!" Our Lorax hurried to assure.
The jury continued to just regard him in silence, their thoughts very hard to read. Finally, the Judging Lorax attempted to get back to her point of before. "Do you, child, feel free to speak and at ease?" she glanced to the Barbaloot again.
Pipsqueak nodded, "Y-Yeah, both my Guardian and the human are nice, they wouldn't ever hurt me".
There were smiles, as the Barbaloot was just so adorable to the other Lorax. For not meeting humans, the Judging Lorax had a fine knowledge of them and gave a soft smile that also held a wistfulness to it. She had seen much of the turn about greed usually brought. "I only hope your right, child, in your faith and once truffula tree fluff turns into dollar signs you aren't...well", she cleared her throat. "Best we move on, I should say and...".
The trial seemed doomed to be riff with interruption as a catchy tune next rang out that may or may not have been the same one used by an elephant in his humming. To back up this comparison, the Guardian of Nool pulled out his cell phone like pager type system that was actually not like either of these things.
His eyes went wide. "I-If you'll excuse me, it seems there's some slight to-do in my jungle having to do with a tied up elephant and pot of oil...oh if it's them again, I declare those brothers are more trouble than they're worth to have around..." the cloud door slammed after the Nool Guardian, cutting off the rest of his words.
As everyone turned their attention back to the Judging Lorax, they found she had a hand up to her forehead and her eyes closed. Why did these sorts of things always happen at her trials! And why, of all Lorax to try, did she have to have this one!
A few moments passed and then little Pipsqueak pulled out a marshmallow he was saving from somewhere and climbed up on the Judging Lorax's pedestal to offer it to her.
Noting the scent, she turned the Barbaloot's way and noticed the little guy. "Oh...why, thank you child" she stated as she took the treat and hesitantly popped it into her mouth. A hand came up to cover said mouth next instant and she managed to swallow, but still muttered something about human food and increasing the "don't feed the animals" rule.
'Too late" Our Lorax muttered as he heard her, "in his lack of any business success, I'm afraid Beanpole has made feeding my animals his current business". He then caught himself and frowned. Oh boy...now she would just get him for negligence on that!
The Judging Lorax sighed, though. "Oh what's the use, the trial's pretty much been ruined anyway, I...".
The cloud door burst open yet again and the Nool Guardian scurried in and over to a bookcase without seeming to notice anyone. "Whos!" he muttered, "How has my jungle had Whos this long and I failed to notice?!".
He found the book he sought, and grabbing it began flipping as he left the room, "Let' see...keep an extra eye out, if you have a trustworthy denizen your job may be aided...watch out for random Grinchs cropping up in the mix...none know where they come from but they are notorious...". The cloud door closed after him again.
"You can all just go home!" the Judge sighed.
"I think that guy should be next on trial for negligence and just plain not noticing stuff" Our Lorax thumbed behind him towards the door the Nool Guardian had used.
"His jungle has an impeccable record" the Judge answered, "which is more than I can say for you". As Our Lorax frowned again, she waved a hand and hopped down from her bench, leaving the room as well, "Ah well, until you mess up again my fine Lorax, so...next week?" she smirked and then left right as Our Lorax threw some of Pipsqueak's marshmallow stash towards the door.