Got a little drabble for you guys! I hope you enjoy it! I'm debating a second chapter.. let me know what you think. oHv xx
I guess you could say we were best friends or something. I couldn't tell you how it happened, because I honestly have no idea. When she called, I was always there. When I called she was (most of the time) there. If she was being an inconsiderate pain in the ass, I'd tell her. If I was being a 'dorky son of a bitch' she'd always let me know. We were always the first to know everything about each other. She'd sneak into my room on the weekends and wake me up with some sort of prank involving shaving cream, and then talk to me about everything that came to her mind, but eventually she would always go back to the classic topic of "what's going to happen when senior year is over". It was because she was scared. Scared of being left alone and forgotten. She'd never tell me that out loud, but it was okay because I already knew. She knew I knew it too, which is why she talked to me about it as opposed to Carly. Carly was already set to be headed off to New York for college, so she couldn't really relate to the subject like we could. We were both planning on staying in Washington for college. This she took comfort in.
I never saw it coming when reality decided to finally smack me hard across the face. I could blab on about how she broke into my room the night after graduation, kissed me senseless and then just left without a word. But I'm not. To tell you the truth, I can't even remember exactly what happened. Just the basics. And I honestly can't explain why I'm so angry about the whole thing. If she's going to be a coward and run away from what she feels for the rest of her life, she an go ahead. I'm sure as hell not running after her. Not this time.
She confused the hell out of me today. Even now, hours after the fact, I'm still utterly flabbergasted. I had been on a simple lunch/study date with a girl in my advanced calculus class. Out of absolutely nothing..BAM. My phone displayed a number I hadn't seen in quite a while. I had deleted its owner's contact, but it didn't matter because I knew all seven digits by heart. The most sincere apology I had ever received in my life (from Her of all people) appeared onto my screen, as if pulled out of thin air. I was actually a little pissed off she hadn't just fucking grew a pair and called me instead of texting me. Being very flustered, I exited the restaurant and I called her. She told me she would visit me sometime soon.
No texts or calls. Not a single sign that she still was connected to me as a friend to say the least. Aside from the occasional likes on Facebook pictures. Just tiny things that made sure I knew she knew I still existed. Until today. Again, I was in the middle of some activity (dinner with my college friend) when she caught me out of nowhere. A Coldplay song lit up my phone as her number flashed across my screen, making my heart stop. I rudely dropped whatever I was doing and headed outside. Hands trembling, I returned her call. She asked for my permission to accompany me to the senior night football game. I accepted. I couldn't finish the rest of my dinner. My entire body was trembling in fear as we approached the field. There she was. The first time I had made eye contact with those chaotic blue eyes in almost three months. The same ones that had shown me friendship and laughter, and all at the same time, bitterness and hurt. The same ones that my best friend once held. The same old flash struck my heart when I saw her, still as beautiful as ever. God I had missed it. Her eyebrows lifted, and her features lit up as she saw me. She flashed a large smile at me, which quickly faded into one of her classic careless and crooked smiles. I awkwardly walked up to her and received a surprisingly warm hug, followed by a punch in the arm. It was unusually longer than a natural greeting hug would be. We both had a reason for it. She kissed me on the cheek, which in truth actually freaked me out a little. It felt good to laugh with her again, and to put our differences aside, and fall back into our usual banter. When the game ended, I left with a rather awkward goodbye. My thoughts have been clouded ever since. I knew that I had done right by making her make the first initiative. Not going to lie, it felt pretty awesome to be right for once. Although she still hasn't fully explained to me her actions that night. She may never.
She's surprised me yet again. She came all the way to my Seattle Tech. dorm room, climbed up my fire escape and broke into my apartment just to talk. She never just wanted to talk anymore. I simply went with the conversation she stared. It was actually very pleasant to hear from her again. I love talking to her, in fact. I have this act that I still hate her for what she did. But I don't. Not even a little. I could never bring myself to actually hate her, no matter what she does to me. I'm still drifting in the confusion pool. I'll never figure her out.
It's been a few weeks. Things have already changed drastically. I had been simply texting her from time to time, even though I hadn't seen her since the football game. Football season has already passed. Sometime at the end of September, we decided to meet up for dinner. We went to Groovy Smoothie and just talked about everything. She's changed already since that football game. She's through her first quarter at WU and she's still the same blonde badass we all know and love. But I could still see the hurt stitched deep into her light eyes. It was rarely awkward, which was strange, considering I hadn't been alone with her in about three and a half months. I missed her a whole lot more than I thought I did, or would have. When we said our goodbyes, we shared a brief hug. I'm almost positive I held onto her a little longer than I should have.
About a month had passed since our last encounter, when I decided to text her. I was in town visiting my mother, and I asked her if she wanted to catch dinner and a movie (almost immediately regretting the text the moment I sent it I might add) I had caught her on a very chilled weekend, with her schooling I'm guessing, so she accepted. We met at the movie theater and I basically bought the entire concession stand for her before the movie started. There was a small haze of awkwardness in the very beginning of our movie day, but it soon faded into laughter and enjoyment. For the first time in a year we'd made yet another inside joke. To be honest it felt great. Just, to be back on my feet with her again. One thing that was slightly strange to me was that I had such a hard time making full on eye contact with her. I'm almost positive it had to do with the memories those piercing sapphire eyes had locked away. The kiss that she had shared with me so long ago fought long and hard to spill from my mind. "Why haven't we talked about the it yet? Why did you do it? Why?" But I couldn't. Every time I looked at her dead on, I almost trembled. It's amazing how powerful a pair of eyes can be. I had obviously seen blue eyes before, but none like hers. They were unique, and held all of her emotions, and somehow reflected mine back at me. It was almost like they had a mind of their own.
She visited me with Carly not too long after our last meeting. Something was different about her. She seems a lot happier, and definitely a lot more beautiful. She's always been beautiful, but now it was absurd. I was hanging out alone with her tomorrow. We're going to Mario's Pizza Parlor and then to the crappy movie theater just across from it. I just can't pin why I'm so nervous to see her. It's just her normal self. With that skin, that hair, those eyes..
We met again a little more than a month later, doing the same thing. Mario's and the crappy movie theater. It's almost started to become a sort of monthly tradition to meet there and catch up. I never dreamed our friendship would be like this. It's a lot less of her that I would like to see, but hey. It's something. During the most recent get together we've had, we mostly reverted to talking about college life and how shocking it would be if Spencer hadn't burned his apartment down due to Carly's absence of supervision. It felt appropriate to tell her that I had a girlfriend. I would never say it to her, but for some reason her face pops into my mind every time I've gone in to kiss this girl. Her name is Julia. And she's Her polar opposite. All I can say is that she is the epitome of a Disney Princess. When sharing all of this with her, she told me how 'she was happy for me, that I had someone kinda cool like Julia'. But something about the way her ocean eyes looked was wrong. I could have sworn I saw a flash of hurt in them when I spoke of Julia. Like "You're replacing me? How? Why?" But it disappeared as quickly as it entered. Things emotional like that never stayed with her for long. But it was probably just my imagination anyway.
Ehh kind of just something I had in my head. Review if you want me to write another chapter! :) Good to be back. xx