Author's Note: Idea stuck. Got written down. That's about it. Review? I believe you should.
"Lily! You're just awful!" Her friends are laughing wildly at some comment she made. She's smiling, her eyes lit up with joy.
I wish I could have some part of that.
The owls are coming. Bringing with them letters from home and the daily post.
There aren't any letters for me. All of my friends are still at Hogwarts and my parents are dead. They have been for over a year. They were old, though. I had been prepared. Despite that, it still hurt like hell. I still miss them.
A single letter falls in front of Lily. Still grinning, she picks it up.
"You're such a prat," she says, laughing still. I don't know what they're talking about, but it's making her laugh, so it's okay.
She slips her index finger beneath the wax seal, lifting it with a soft pop. She pulls the letter out, still laughing at the ridiculous things her friends are saying.
She looks so happy.
She scans the letter quickly, distractedly, but something makes her stop and go back, reading more slowly, more carefully. Her smile fades and gradually, it's completely gone, a frown in its place. She starts the letter over, not satisfied that she's got the meaning just right. Her eyes are wide and horrified. I wonder what's wrong. She's not reading anymore. No, instead, she is just staring blankly at the paper. She's not moving. Her eyes are glossed over.
"Lily? Lily, what's wrong?" Her friends are concerned. She never acts like this. She is the cheerful, over-energized Lily Evans. What has happened?
"I—— I have to go..." She says. Her voice sounds faraway, even though she is only a few seats from me.
The entirety of the Great Hall seems to quiet, but I know it hasn't really. I know it's just me. There is no way that all of these students can stay quiet. It's just not possible.
She is still clutching the letter as she stands from her seat. Her knuckles are milk white. Her steps are brisk, but they seem fragile somehow.
She looks like she is going to cry.
With a quick glance at Sirius, I follow her. I follow her out of the Great Hall. I follow her out of the castle. I follow her all the way to the Black Lake.
She stops at the lake's edge.
She just stops.
She stops and stands there for a moment. And then she lets the letter go. It flies away, the light breeze carrying it far. It floats past my head, but I don't care. I'm more concerned with her.
It's a bit cold. I have goosebumps and I know that she does too. But she doesn't move. She stays standing there for a full five minutes. Then, she jumps into the water.
It's not very deep. About two metres. I know from personal experience. Sirius pushed me in last fall.
I also know that the water will have an icy chill. I know that it will feel as though it is piercing her skin.
I don't want her to feel like that.
So I jump in after her.
My head is underwater. I can hear her screaming. She's putting everything she has into it. Every last breath. Every last emotion.
I want to help her.
But I don't know how.
I can't see her underwater. It's too dark. The sun isn't out today. The water is a dark gray. Almost black. I stand up. I have to balance on my tiptoes so my head is fully above water and I can see. She is about a metre from me and I swim to her.
She comes up for air and her teeth are chattering. I can't tell if she is just wet, or if she is crying.
Her eyes are full of sadness and as she turns her gaze upon me, I feel it too.
"Come on, Lily." I reach out to her. She doesn't pull away. "It's cold."
She merely nods.
I put one arm around her waist and another underneath her knees. She wraps her arms around my neck, tucking her head into my shoulder. She is shivering.
When we step from the water, the wind is cold. She shivers violently. I stand behind the cover of a large tree, muttering a spell to dry us off. It works.
She is still shaking, but it's not from the cold. She's crying.
My heart constricts. I don't want her to cry. I don't want her to be in pain.
I don't speak. I lower myself to the ground, keeping her on my lap, and stroke her hair.
She weeps for a long while. I don't know why she's crying and I don't particularly care. All that matters is her and that she is so unbelievably sad. She doesn't deserve to be so upset.
I make shushing noises. She'll be okay, right? She'll be fine tomorrow. Just like nothing happened at all. It'll be okay. It will.
I can't seem to convince myself.
"Lily," I murmur. "It's okay. It will be okay."
I hope I can convince her.
Her tears and shuddering have ebbed. She looks up at me and her emerald, her brilliant emerald eyes are red and wet.
My chest tightens again.
Her eyes hold sadness that I can't even begin to fathom.
"It won't," she whispers. Her voice is soft and grainy. It doesn't sound anything like her, yet horribly, it does. "It won't."
"What happened?" It's a stretch, I'm sure, thinking that she will tell me, me, before she tells her friends, but I ask anyway.
Fresh tears fill her eyes and I instantly regret the question. I go to apologise, but she stops me, pressing two delicate fingertips to my lips. Despite everything, I can appreciate how good her skin feels against my lips. I revel in it. But I pretend I don't and nod.
"My..." She tries. She stops and takes a deep breath, steadying herself. "It happened... it happened last night. The... the letter said it happened last night. It said that they tried to... phone, but the number for my school wouldn't go through. That's not really surprising though, is it? Hogwarts doesn't have a telephone." She blinks, her brow furrowing.
I nod, urging her to go on.
"It said that they were in an automobile accident. My parents were... in an automobile accident." A single tear slides from her eye and down her cheek. I rub it away with the pad of my thumb. She seems to be unable to form a full string of though. I don't blame her. "Dad... my dad died on impact, it said. Mum was... mum was unconscious until this morning. Until she... until she died." She had averted her eyes from mine, examining my shirtfront, but now, she jerks them back to my eyes wildly, asking me to tell her she was lying, to tell her the letter had been some horrible joke. But I couldn't. "My parents are dead. Gone. Forever." She lets her head fall heavily against my shoulder, as if she is unable to find the strength to keep it up anymore.
"It will be okay, Lily," I whisper, rubbing small circles onto her back. I want her to be okay. "I promise you, Lily, it will be okay."
"How do you know?" She looks so frail, so breakable. I want to fix her.
"Because, it stops hurting at one point. You just have to be patient and let time run its course." My words are true, and at some level, she can see that.
"I don't have anymore family," she sighs. "Petunia disowned me a while ago and now I'm all alone. My parents were the only ones..."
"I'll be your family, Lily." It's true. I have considered her more than family for years. She's been an extension of me, albeit a better, smarter, more responsible extension, but an extension nonetheless.
"Promise?" She looks back up at me, and I see the desperation not only in her eyes, but written all over her face.
"I promise." I kiss her forehead and she rests her head on my shoulder once more.
It was still cold, but it doesn't matter.
We were missing lessons, but it doesn't matter.
Because I was holding Lily Evans, helping her through pain that would lessen in time.