Secret Santa 2018

For MollyMack

Prompt: Tom leaves after his failed proposal. Sybil realises how much she loves him and goes after him! She either travels to London or perhaps all the way to Ireland to tell him.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and hope you enjoy! :)

Tom sat with his head in his hands, his jacket discarded in the car. He'd sat himself down behind a tree so any other road users couldn't see him directly, but the grass here was still damp in the shadows hidden from the weak winter sun. He didn't care. He'd been a fool. Allowed himself to dream, to believe. But that wasn't the only problem. He had obviously hoped for her to say yes, but he had considered the possibility of her saying no. He wasn't stupid. It was all tied in to why he had asked her because, beneath the cocksure exterior, Tom Branson was scared. Conscription had been brought in at the start of the year and he was a young, single man in an unnecessary position. It was only a matter of time – hell, he was surprised it hadn't happened already – and he couldn't bear the thought of being called up while she was away. He had been running that scenario through his head over the past week, trying to figure out how he could get to tell her if that happened, especially if he refused to fight. If she'd accepted he could have dealt with the consequences. He would still most likely refuse to serve, but he would stay, knowing they had a future together. If she said no, he would go back to Ireland. He could join in his own country's fight and, for the time being at least, avoid conscription. He was no coward, but to be around like-minded men and women – Irishmen and Irishwomen – who understood whole heartedly and to whom he wouldn't have to explain himself would be a blessing. As Sybil avoided his gaze in that archway, he accepted that he would go home.

"No don't do that!"

The panic in her voice still echoed round his brain. She had planted a seed of doubt. Of hope that if he waited long enough for her then maybe one day she would say yes… Or he'd be dead in France. And so the argument went round again.

Tom groaned and ran his hands through his hair, loosening some golden strands which then fell over his forehead. He couldn't stay. 'Maybe' might be worth staying at Downton for. It wasn't worth getting killed for, or sitting in a jail cell for when afterwards the answer might turn out to be no. Reluctantly he got to his feet and moved round the car to start her back up. He'd talk to Mr Carson that evening, serve out the month but then he would go home.

~X~

Sybil was surprised when Edith came to pick her up from York and she tried to hide her disappointment. She'd been looking forward to chatting with the chauffeur and finally getting to tell him about her visit to a pub! Instead she put on a smile for her sister and complimented her improved driving skills. Once they pulled up at Downton Sybil stayed put out of habit. She could easily get out of the car but she tended to wait for him anyway, just for that small moment of contact that was allowed. Her stomach still did somersaults when she thought about their hands entwined at the garden party and just how illicit that touch had been. Her heart dropped again when her mama opened the door.

"Sybil, darling. It seems an age since you were last here."

Sybil clambered out of the car and got swept up by her family – a long embrace from her mother, a genuine smile and a sassy barb about Edith's driving from Mary. Her papa touched her cheek affectionately as she was escorted upstairs to unpack. At dinner she told them as much as she knew they would want to hear. She divulged a bit more to Isobel, but where the older lady was used to the medical world she didn't share in the surprise or emotion Sybil was holding on to. As the day drew to a close and Sybil sat braiding her hair it dawned on her just how much she had missed him and how much she had bottled up to talk to him about. Tomorrow she would find a quiet few minutes to go down to the garage.

But as she lay in bed she realised Edith had been the one to take granny home, and the dowager hadn't made a fuss. A cold chill came over Sybil as the thought came into her head: what if he's not here? He was still here last month when she had come home to visit. They hadn't spoken but he had been in the background – Papa ordering the motor, granny being brought to dinner. Edith had insisted on driving her to and from York and she'd been glad to indulge her sister because she hadn't been ready to face him again after she'd turned him down. Well, not exactly turned him down, she hadn't given an answer at all. Maybe he thought she was purposefully avoiding him by travelling with Edith and took it as an indirect rejection? She would never forgive herself if that's what he thought of her! Tomorrow she would sort everything out.

~X~

At breakfast Mary was telling her about plans for Christmas since there were only a few days to go when Carson handed Sybil a missive. It was from Cousin Isobel inviting her for tea. Perfect.

"Carson, I'd like to order the motor for two…" Mary's laughter stopped her in her tracks. "What?" She would have expected another comment about Edith's driving or maybe one about her obeying the rules and not going to the garage herself for once, but she wasn't expecting her sister to laugh.

"Oh, Edith will just love that!" Mary choked out eventually.

"What has it got to do with Edith?" Sybil asked with a frown. "I thought Branson…"

"Mr Branson has left, milady." Carson explained.

"Left! When?"

"About a month ago. I forgot you weren't here at the time. Sorry darling.

Sybil felt like she had been punched in the stomach and all air knocked out of her. He can't have left. "Why?" She squeaked. Oh god, had he been called up? Papa had contacts in the war office, surely he could find out where Branson had been sent for training and she could get a note to him. If he was still there. How long did soldiers train for? What if he was in France already? What if he had already been shot? Her mind was racing and she blindly put a hand out to steady herself.

"Sybil, are you alright?" She vaguely heard her sister.

"Sorry Carson, what did you say?" Sybil tried to keep her voice as even as possible. She could feel Mary's eyes on her.

"Mr Branson left for family matters milady."

"Ah." She pretended to continue with her breakfast. Family matters. That could mean anything, but as least it didn't sound like he was in France. She would try and catch her father and see if he could provide any more details.

~X~

She found him in the library before luncheon.

"Papa."

He smiled at her. "I'm glad you're back. Your sisters get quite catty without you to play referee. I thought they might have grown out of it by this stage, but it seems just you being here has a calming effect on all of us." He chuckled.

"Papa, Carson says Branson has left?"

"Poor chap. He lost a brother, or a cousin. I can't remember but he looked terribly ill. It obviously affected him badly. Your Mama said he looked distracted when she saw you off in the car to York. I'm surprised he didn't say anything to you himself, but then he probably didn't want to trouble you when you were going away. He was very professional and gave a months' notice. Edith is driving us for now. I doubt we'll find another chauffeur while the war is on. Platt can do the shorter journeys even so the fitter horses have gone too. Sybil? Are you quite well?"

She snapped out of her reverie. "Perfectly well Papa," she lied with a smile, "I think I will put something warmer on before luncheon."

TBC. Part two is still in the pipeline...