A/N Thanks to CherriiMarina for being an awesome beta! Fair warning: Get the box of tissues now.
Disclaimer: I am not J.K Rowling I just like to play with her characters. I own nothing.
Her eyelids twitched, eyes moving rapidly beneath them as her brain began to surface from the depths of sleep. Her face burrowed into the pillow, the familiar scent of ginger and jasmine wafting up to tease her nostrils. Her lips curled into a soft smile and she reached out searching for the familiar warmth of her wife, hand finding only cool sheets instead. Confused, she propped herself up on her other arm, elbow digging into the soft mattress as her back arched and she shook her head to get the long unruly strands of hair out of her face. She thought at first that she must have been mistaken, that perhaps she wasn't reaching far enough, but no, the other side of the bed was empty, the blanket and pillow undisturbed.
"Min?" She called out, questioningly, and then with a rush, it hit her and she remembered, collapsing back into the bed as tears washed over her face. Minerva was dead and today... today was her funeral.
Hermione lay there staring at the dark ceiling, tears flowing, heart breaking all over again. How many days would she wake up like this? Drifting back from a dream world where she had her wife and reaching into reality and finding a cold, empty bed next to her. Her logical side tried to tell her that she wouldn't feel like this forever, that one day she would be almost whole. But even logic knew she would never be the same. Like a puzzle with one piece missing, you know what the picture is and it is still beautiful but it was also incomplete.
The room slowly faded from black to gray as the sun crept ever nearer. Hermione got up and wrapped herself in Minerva's robe. She stepped through the balcony doors and into the brisk morning air. She and Minerva had watched every sunrise together, every morning wrapped in their robes or sometimes in the quilt off the bed. Now Hermione would watch them alone. Fifty years of sunrises flashed through her mind. Sometimes those few moments had been the only time the couple would see each other all day, Sometimes they had been fighting and had watched from opposite sides of the balcony, but they had always watched together.
The sun peaked over the hill and bathed the moors in its golden light. Its warmth wrapped around Hermione like a comforting hug from an old friend. She wiped tears from her eyes and turned back to their bedroom. It was the silence that was crushing her. No murmurs of 'I love you' or 'Good morning, my love,' just silence. She made the bed, pushing away memories of their nights together, nights filled with love and lust. The passion between them had never cooled, each had still been able to ignite the flames of desire with just a simple look or a gentle caress.
She hung Minerva's robe and undressed on her way to the shower, not caring if the clothes didn't make it into the hamper. The hot water of the shower felt good on her tear-stained face. She reached for her bottle of shampoo but paused when she saw Minerva's next to it. She picked Min's bottle instead, opening it and inhaling deeply. She stood there taking in the scent until the cooling water reminded her how long she had been standing there. She took a dollop of Min's shampoo and ran it through her hair. Honey and ginger filled her senses. She shook with soft sobs as she rinsed it out and turned the shower off.
She cast a quick drying charm on her body deciding to let her hair air dry. She glanced at her reflection in the full length mirror. She was fairly fit for seventy years old. The scars that covered her body had stories like the bite mark on her shoulder from Minerva taking her as her Mate or the stretch marks across her abdomen from carrying their three children. It showed a lifetime of both love and struggle, just as Minerva's had at her age.
She walked back into the bedroom and put on a simple black dress. As she slipped on her stockings she let herself be pulled into the past by a memory.
She was lying on the bed when Minerva had come in. Minerva had been in meetings all day but the sight of her new wife lying there in nothing but her stockings and a garter belt had made her forget all about budgets.
"Like what you see?" Hermione said, grinning. She sat up and hung her legs off the bed.
"Minerva?" She asked when her wife didn't respond.
Minerva growled softly and made her way across the room, kneeling in front of Hermione. She unhooked the stockings and slowly pulled the first one off kissing down Hermione's thigh causing the younger woman to shiver. She repeated the action on the other leg nipping and teasing Hermione's legs enticing gasps and moans from her until she was begging.
Hermione pulled Minerva up and kissed her soundly, their tongues caressing and tangling together.
Minerva laid Hermione back and kissed across her collar bone.
"I love you, Min," Hermione murmured.
"I love y-.."
"MUUUM! Are you there?!" Hermione shook the memory away. She quickly slipped on her stockings and shoes and walked into the parlor.
"Yes I'm here, Fianna." She said, smiling softly into the fireplace where the face of their middle child sat.
"Do you need anything? I can come over if you need me. Freddie can get the kids ready."
"I'm fine. And we both know Freddie cannot handle those girls," Hermione said smiling.
"Okay, if you're sure…" Fianna didn't seem so sure but if her mother didn't want her to come she knew it was best to stay home. A sudden crash from Fianna's side of the call caused them both to jump.
"I gotta go, Mum. I'll see you later. Call me if you need me." And with a flash of green she was gone.
Hermione made her way into the kitchen and put the kettle on. She reached for a mug but habit had her pick up two, one for her one for Minerva. Suddenly realizing her mistake, she gently placed the extra cup back on the shelf. She was coming to realize that she would have to learn to live alone again. She poured her tea and made a bit of toast. She wasn't hungry but she knew her children would worry if they found out she wasn't eating anything.
She had just finished when the fire sparked up again.
"'Mione! Are you there?" Harry's voice called.
"I'd like to know where you people think I'd be other than here!" She snapped then flinched at her harsh tone. "I'm sorry, Harry. Yes I'm here. No, don't come over, I'm fine. I really don't want to talk right now... I'll see you at the fu-... later. I'll see you later." She didn't wait for his response, turning from the fireplace she walked back down the hall.
It was like walking through a time-line of their life together. The pictures hanging in the hall started as them during their dating months, then their wedding, Hermione receiving her Masteries, Minerva kneeling in front of her kissing a very pregnant belly. Their whole life could be seen in this hall. The births of their kids, their first trips on the Hogwarts Express, framed letters announcing that they had been chosen as Prefects, their graduations and weddings, Minerva and Hermione's anniversary parties, including their fiftieth that they had celebrated just two months before Minerva's death.
Hermione was thankful for the pictures. She picked one of Minerva off the wall. It was one of her favorites. It was during their honeymoon – Minerva had surprised her by renting a villa in Tuscany. Hermione had snapped the picture unbeknownst to Minerva while they had been sunbathing on the beach. She was laying in the sand propped up on her arms watching the waves. Hermione remembered she couldn't take her eyes off of her. Wearing that black bikini and her floppy sun hat, she was a Goddess. When she took the picture Minerva's head snapped up and she had demanded it be destroyed. Hermione denied her demand and the following chase into the house had ended up in the bedroom, picture and camera both forgotten.
Hermione took the picture back to their room and set it on Minerva's vanity. She glanced over Minerva's things. How could it all be in its perfect place when her world was crumbling? Her fingers glided over her hairbrush, her hair pins trying the force a connection between herself and the memories these items held. It was almost like Minerva was still here... maybe she just popped over to Hogwarts for a visit… perhaps the ministry needed her again… Hermione picked up the book Minerva had been reading just the day before. She had laid it down for a nap she would never wake up from.
Hermione reverently placed it back on the bedside table and curled up on the bed with Minerva's pillow. She couldn't do this! She couldn't live without Minerva in her life... her heart had been taken by her wife a long time ago and she had never gotten it back... how could one live when their heart had crossed through the veil? So she wept, deep heart wrenching sobs of a broken woman.
She must have cried herself to sleep because the next thing she knew, she was being awoken by a gentle shake. She opened her foggy eyes to see a pair of emerald green irises staring down at her.
"Min?" She murmured, still half asleep.
"No, Mum... it's Kathleen," their youngest child said sadly.
"Oh Kathy, I'm sorry," Hermione said sitting up slowly. Kathleen say next to her on the bed.
"No, I'm sorry. I should have sent Callum in to wake you." Kathleen mentally kicked herself.
"No, my darling. I'm glad it was you. Your brother is a strong man but he can't handle seeing his Mum in tears." She smiled and brought her hand up to caress her child's cheek.
"You look so much like your Mother," she said smiling softly. She was tall and willowy with jet black hair and those emerald green eyes, a carbon copy of Minerva. Kathleen felt tears slip down her face. Hermione pulled her closer and kissed each tear away and wrapped her arms around her baby.
"I miss her so much already," Kathleen cried into Hermione's dress.
"Me too, Baby... me too," Hermione said stroking her back soothingly.
"Mum?" A deep voice from the door called.
"Yes, Callum?" She said, still holding her weeping child.
"It's time to go..." He said hesitantly. Hermione flinched at the sharp pain in her chest those words caused. She nodded and pulled Kathleen up and led her towards her brother. He was their firstborn. She was in labor for three days with him. Minerva had been a mess, crying at Poppy to do something, yelling at nurses. He had been born kicking and screaming with a head of curly brown hair and hazel eyes. It had been one of the greatest moments of her life. When she handed their son to her wife, Minerva had wept like a baby.
Hermione patted his cheek. Her boy had gotten the build of his grandfather McGonagall, tall and broad. She had to stand on her toes to kiss his other cheek.
"Is Fianna here?" She asked as she led her children down the hall, each holding one of her hands.
"No, she's meeting us there... had the girls and all..." Hermione smiled at the thought of her granddaughters. Fianna had fallen for a Weasley boy, and those three redheaded girls were holy terrors, taking after their Grandpa George.
"Callum, you'll need to take me side-along," she said firmly. She ignored the look of shock that passed between her children.
"Okay," he said softly. They walked out of house and into the garden. The scent of warm Heather blossoms surrounded them and Hermione breathed deeply. The smell always made her think of home.
"Ready?" Callum asked her. She nodded and with crack like thunder they were gone.
Hermione opened her eyes. They were standing outside the gates of Hogwarts. She reached out and stroked the iron bars of the gates and they slowly opened for her. She was technically not supposed to be able to do that but there were advantages to being her. The castle had been her home for many years, both during her schooling and after. She and Minerva had lived in the head's quarters for several years during the school year and then stayed in their Highland cottage during the summer. But the Castle had always seemed to have a soft spot for Hermione.
They walked the short distance to where Dumbledore's tomb lay. It had been decided that Minerva should be laid to rest here beside him. The school had been her life, second to only her family – and only sometimes was it second to them. Hundreds of chairs had been set out for those wishing to pay their respects.
Hermione smiled tearfully as her oldest daughter almost ran into her arms.
"You okay, Mum?" Fianna asked tearfully.
"I will be," Hermione said giving her a squeeze. Harry was next in the rapidly forming line of those wishing to offer their sympathies.
"Hey 'Mione," he said pulling her into a bone crushing hug. She buried her face into his neck and wept. She should had let him come over earlier. Unlike her children for whom she had to be strong, Harry was strong for her and the dam broke. Everyone left them, drifting back to give Hermione some privacy.
"That's it," Harry said softly as he held her. "Just let it all out. Cry all you want, it's okay." Hermione felt another pair of arms surround her. She looked up to find Ron.
"Sorry I'm late, 'Mione. I came as soon as I heard." Hermione moved her hug from Harry to Ron. She really hadn't been expecting him. He had been in Egypt visiting Charlie and it was a long trip home.
"Thank you both for coming... I just don't know what I'm going to do without her," she said, wiping away her tears.
"Have you seen her yet?" Ron asked.
Hermione shook her head. Harry nodded at Ron and they both wrapped an arm around her and led her towards the front of the chairs. Minerva had been laid out on an elegant slab of levitating marble. Her tomb was placed right next to Dumbledore's and while his was plain and white, hers was black with golden Celtic knotwork. Hermione brought her eyes down to her beloved. She was dressed in her signature green robes and her hair had been kept down, the once ebony strands now speckled with silver. Hermione moved slowly away from the boys and approached the seemingly sleeping form of her wife. She reached out and gently caressed her face with the backs or her knuckles.
"There you are, my love," she said with a tearful smile. "I watched the sunrise this morning... I think it was made especially beautiful just for us today. I have to relearn so much now you know; I couldn't even make tea this morning without trying to make some for you, too." She didn't even bother wiping the tears away; they were coming too fast.
"Don't worry about the kids, they're taking good care of me. They miss you already but they'll be fine... kids seem to be able to handle things like this don't they? I wish I knew their secret." She softly smoothed the hair from Minerva's face. "I love you… more than anything. I wish I had said it more. Every moment of every day wouldn't have been enough to express the amount of joy you brought to my life. I have to go now; it seems they're ready to start. Goodbye, my darling... I love you." She leaned over and softly placed a kiss on Minerva's forehead.
Callum handed her a tartan handkerchief and led her to her chair next to Fianna and Kathleen. The service was beautiful. Several people spoke, all telling of how Minerva had improved their lives or the amazing feats she had accomplished. Hermione held her weeping girls and watched the line of people pass Minerva, paying their final respects to a friend, a colleague, a professor. After everyone had finished, Hermione took a deep breath and led her children to say their goodbyes. She kissed Minerva's cheek one last time and lovingly levitated her into her tomb.
"Until we meet again, my love," Hermione said softly and she sealed the tomb shut.
Everyone made their way to the Great Hall for refreshments. Hermione was embraced by several people and given sympathies by acquaintances. She accepted a plate of food and a drink from Molly, but she didn't eat or drink any of it, ending up just passing it to Ron. It was only George who seemed to know exactly how she was feeling. She stepped out into the courtyard for some fresh air and was sitting on the wall when he sat down beside her and handed her a flask.
"It's just firewhiskey."
She nodded and took a large swig and handed it back to him, enjoying the slow burn as it traveled to her stomach.
"After Fred died, I felt like a shattered soul." He took a gulp and handed it back to her. "On the outside I was whole – minus the ear of course," he winked, "but on the inside I was dead. I didn't know how to live without Fred. Who was going to finish my sentences? Who was I going to share my secrets with? I had to remember I only needed one of something when I had been getting two my entire life. But then I realized... I had to live my life for him. He wouldn't want me moping about, wasting my life – and she wouldn't want you to cry over her either." Hermione took another drink and laid her head on his shoulder.
"It's so hard George. We were supposed to be together forever... I still need her. I can't make it without her."
George wrapped his arms around her. "I know, and that's okay. You don't have to get over it... in fact, you can't; you just learn to live with the ache of a broken heart. Now come on... let's go chase those granddaughters of ours." He stood and pulled her to her feet.
"Thanks, George."
"Anytime 'Mione." As they entered the Great Hall, Hermione looked around. Tears were still being wiped away but stories and conversation had started the healing process. Their family and friends and friends that were family all before her, she suddenly had a thought that maybe she could survive this. Harry and Ron appeared next to her – her boys.
"We love you 'Mione," Harry said softly.
"It's true, we do." Ron agreed.
"I love you guys too."
They both hugged her tightly. This is what George had meant. Live for her... Love them for her. Minerva would always be there with her as long as she held the memories of their life together, and she lived on through their children and grandchildren. She was in no way over the loss of her soulmate and she doubted she would ever properly heal... but she had found a sliver of hope in the advice of a friend... perhaps there could be life after death.
Please Review as soon as you can see through the tears. ;)