Well, I suppose you'll want to know how I look, because obviously thats the most interesting part of the story, right? (My last description was, I believe 'a gigantic shiteating asshole', but you shouldn't take these things too seriously. I assure you, I don't eat shit. I make lots of jokes when stressed/concentrated though.)

Without a doubt, way more interesting than how I ended up in a airplane, fighting under my old mentor. I made a loop, to avoid some... incoming projectile. It exploded somewhere in the air, but thankfully it hit none of the formation.

-You're smoking, I heard from the radio.

-I was waiting for the 'hot' here, was my reply after a beat.

-No, really! Your left wing is smoking!

-Damn, it fried the systems!

'Start the emergency procedure!,' I said to the board computer, while shooting a so-called rubber bomb bullet, quickly sending my plane down in a controlled fall and warning the rest of the squad while firing at the hostile formation with regular granates, trying to hit motors, wings, anything. The rubber bomb bullet was a bullet that didn't explode upon first impact. Instead, it only exploded after the fourth impact, and it had a certain coat which meant it richoted off the airplanes - some idiot had thought this would be a good idea to kill whole formations. Clearly, this someone had not experienced actual battle or spend much thought about his invention, and thats only possible if this person was either a cripple or totally and utterly braindead, in those desperate times. Though nowadays, I heard cripples get also send into battle, with really awesome roboarms, robolegs, and in at least one memorable case -ribs. Finally, the bullet exploded, thankfully not in our formation. The hostiles scattered.

-Keep in formation!

Sigh. I hadn't even wanted to be here. When they checked, they had already heard of my 'resisting behavior'. While they didn't like it, they basically had to take me, since I was ablebodied and had sight that could be corrected within the limits. So, when they asked what unit I wanted to serve, I asked the RAF and, without letting on I knew him, I said would be more likely to listen to my mentor. I think I may, to my endless shame, have uttered the words 'I'd follow him to hell and back' unironically, to a fellow recruit who had cried after he had said something about the recruits stupid idea. I really would follow him to hell and back, because despite the fact that I was certain one of the first rules you learn before going in command is that you shouldn't care too much about the people under you since in all likelyhood most would be dead in a few weeks, I was certain he cared and he would rather die then have any of us die. The Captain was currently yelling at some gloryhound to stop going after the enemy. No surprise there. I looked around, manually checking for enemies, since all the systems were dead, including the radar. I only had the back up radio and some other rudimentary things. Finn was reluctantly going back, the rest were more or less ok, in the sun was a black spot...

-Wingman to Captain, do you copy?

-Loud and clear.

-The airplane northwest one of ours?

-What airplane?

- Black spot in the sun?

-You think they found a way- shit!

I saw something else too. A building with what looked to be a radar on top. I shot a missilethingy at it. I don't know all the fancy names, all they bothered to teach us was 'this goes kaboom'. The missile went kaboom. Sorry, not a funny witticism as you probrably expected. You try making good jokes when under fire. Actually, don't. Absentmindedly, I was running my mouth of at the radio, making jokes of strongly varying quality. One ellicited a chuckle out of the captain, before he got stern.

-Wingman, do you have any idea how I look right now?

-Smiling, while looking up and sideways at the radio, sir?

-How do you know that?! And no, wait, I'm looking really stern right now.

-Experience, sir. I can hear you nearly laughing too.

- I told you I'm a bad liar... but you should still listen to me.

-You also told the class you were leaving last Christmas, and you were very convincing.

For all of five seconds!

-Fair enough. What about that one time you cheated a politician out of his money?

-He cheated me first!

-The lawyer?

-Well, it was a lawyer...

-Honest John's?

-He played me like a fool!

I repressed a smile, glad we were talking about something else.

-Not saying I disaprove, sir.

My plane turned up and a little more west as I tried to gain height, while not letting the hostile know he was spotted. Then, abadonding al stealth I shot up like one of my own bullets until we were at the same height. He took aim at the Captain, so I took aim at his cockpit and shot - all in one fluid movement. I knew I was good, but this fella was good too, lemme tell you that. He allowed my projectile to hit the glass (to no avail), shooting quickly at me and then a NKairplane was between him and the Captain. I considered my next move carefully. A turbomove (trying to go for a frontal attack at turbospeed) would be risky, considering how fast and good he appeared. I would not be able to turn quickly, so a lot depended on being so fast he couldn 't move away in time. The radio was silent. This was my first clue that something was wrong. My second clue was the fact that I had lost the main radio and entered a private channel.

Rookie, a voice growled. Resistance is futile.

-Nice Darth Vader(TM) impression, I replied, as I shot a firebomb at him, which he easily invaded. You should talk to my mentor though, he 's good. Yours is nice, but not... how shall I say it? Terrifying.

-Ooh, shots fired! was the sarcastic reply, because you totally wouldn 't know that from the context.

-Roasted, I quipped, while shooting another firebomb at him. Yes, I can make terrible puns too. I 'm a man of many qualities.

He took cover behind a burning airplane (hostile, I noted), following it on its doomed course in a controlled fall. I had unconsciously ducked and weaved between many sleek, vaguely airplanelike things (to be frank, they looked as much like airplanes as dolphins to a teapot)and was now very close. Automatically, I looked at my radar before remembering it was down and looked around for the Captain, who was okay and just oneshotted a hostile (so they didn 't all have reinforced glass, I noted).

-Come on, give it your best shot, he taunted.

-Got a deadwish?

One of the airplanes was almost gonna crash into mines ', so I entered a free fall, which involved killing the enginge and frantically restarting it, hopefully before crashing into the ground, so when he replied with something involving a pot, a kettle and the color black, I had to concede he had a point. However, with a lot of luck and brute force, I managed to pull up and was now far under 'my 'hostile, who abadonded his cover immediatly.