AFRAID FOR LOVE TO FADE
Summary: Obsession is a very strong word. But how does it do justice to what one feels to another? Sometimes it is enough but what if it's beyond words to describe it? Is there really a thin line between obsession and love?—sequel of a mesmerizing enigma
A/N: Before you read this one-shot I recommend you guys to read first Strange Attractions and A Mesmerizing Enigma coz this is the third installment of my series of one-shots. Just like the two one-shot, this too is rewritten.
Disclaimer: I don't own the title and the song/lyrics coz I've borrowed it from the song 'Afraid for love to fade' by Jose Marie Chan. Neither do I own CCS, how I wish though.
The chilling atmosphere of the city crept up in my arms as it seeps through my demented façade. The harsh rustling of the twigs of the trees broke my stupor as the swishing of the winds ruffle my already messy hair. 'What's happening to me? Why can't I forget about Sakura after what he clearly said?'
"Stay away from my sister!" I shook my head vigorously to stop the scene from playing again in my head. Pulling my hair out of frustration, I groaned, "Urrgh… I can't take this!"
Disconcerted, I stood up from the bench I've been spilling my guts at for a couple of hours now. The gloomy weather that just roared its suppression matching the mood that I'm in, perfectly. I can't believe I've been this hang up with just a girl I officially met two weeks ago but been fantasizing for months now. 'How come I've never felt this from any of my past girlfriends? But she's not just an ordinary girl; there must be something really special in her that made me feel this weird. Yeah, she's so bubbly that you get infected with her cheerfulness, so innocent like a child who sees everything positively, caring… Ahh… will you just snap out of it Syaoran.'
My head's in a jam
Can't take you off my mind
From the time we met
I've been beset by thoughts of you
And the more that I ignore this feeling
The more I find myself believing
That I just have to see you again
I wandered through the darkening atmosphere emitted by the bad weather swallowing the day as fast as it can. Dim street lights flickered as I found myself in an unkempt park. Thoughts clouded my already jammed head. I can't seem to shove this feeling that's been haunting me for the past weeks. So pissed off with myself, I kick a random stone in my way and received a response that I didn't expect.
"Ouch! Where did that come from?" A girl from the far left corner of the park muttered scratching her head in annoyance. She then looked up at the sky questioning it and glaring at it. "Is it raining rocks now?"
At that comment, I sweat dropped and almost lost my balance from amusement. I tried to decipher the figure's face as the whole park cast huge shadows all over the place that you can't see anything visibly unless you came close enough. Cautiously, I advance to the girl who is still glaring at the darkening sky.
The girl, who had sensed my approaching presence, squint her eyes to see who I was. She then back away from me slowly until both of our features are visible enough through the dim lamp posts. We both freeze from our spots as we realize who's in front of us.
"Sakura?"
I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go
But I know that I am much too shy to let you know
Afraid that I might say the wrong words and displease you
Afraid for love to fade before it can come true
"Syaoran? Is that you?" She seized me through her questioning eyes. Emerald eyes that sparkled endlessly even through the dark sky. Her face then glowed and smiled at me as she, to my amazement, advances and hugs me. "It is you. It's really you. I can't believe I'll see you again. It's not that I don't want to see you again but after what my brother did I never thought you would show up again. You see, it happens all the time, whenever a boy comes close to me. But don't worry I'll never let it happen to you again…"
I stand there shocked, terrified and pleased at the same time. Who wouldn't be? The girl of my dreams just ran to me and hugged me, just like in the movies. No, not just only hugged me but, is still hugging me. I'm like a statue from my spot as I recognized her but as she hugs me I even froze more. How frozen can one get? She kept on talking and talking but I just stood there staring awkwardly at her, having no idea on what to do or say. I just gawk at her features and nods at the words that came out from her luscious lips. Oh, how I long to feel them. I shook my head to clear off my cravings and to focus on her accounts.
She then stops talking as she perceives my silence and facial expression. Realizing our position, she tenderly let go of her hold on me, a tint of pink crept up to both our cheeks as she sat on the bench nearby, with me in tow. Idiot now look at what you've done, a voice echoed at the back of my head. I sighed and sat beside her, longing for her warmth and loss for words. I peek at her direction, studying her features from head to toe. 'God, I must be the luckiest person in the world right now.' I then drew my eyes back to the sky to diminish any suspicion from watching her every move since I saw her.
Like a child again
I'm at a loss for words
How does one define a crush combined with longing?
I shifted in my seat uneasily as I gathered enough courage to come up with something to say. "I umm… I'm sorry," I mumbled, scratching the back of my head in utter shyness. And she gave me this cute puzzled look. Clearing my throat to stop my stuttering and quivering voice, I tried again. "The stone, I kicked it I have no intention of hitting anyone. I'm… I'm re-really sorry." But she just gawk at me, I then did the unexpected that I even surprised myself. Carefully, I extend my hand to reach her, brush off her bangs and gently soothe the red mark in her forehead, and kissed it.
Realizing what I have done, I quickly withdrew my hand, evaded her eyes, lowered my head in absolute shame, and promptly apologize. "I'm sorry. I really…" but before I finished my apology I felt her finger on my lips to stop me from going on further. She released a suppressed giggle, squeezed my hand lightly and caressed it to ease my anxiousness. We stayed like that for awhile; smiling and staring at each other, lost in our own world. Inch by inch the gap between our faces shrank… a cold drop of water touched our clasped hands.
Longing to possess you oh so dearly
I'm obsessed with you completely
I'll go mad if I can't have you
Hand in hand we ran in the dusk and try to find refuge from the icy drops of rain. We soon take cover at a waiting shed. Soaking wet bring about by the nasty storm, we sat down shivering feverishly as another cold wind passes by. Taking in the cold seeping through my insides right now, I glance at the girl beside me pale from our condition. I drape my arms on her shoulder as I try to give my warmth to her. Ten minutes had passed and still no sign of any bus or taxi. Uncontrollably shivering more, I gently grab her closer to fully hug her form from the cold. She hugs me back in return, pressing her body tightly.
Instincts kicking in, I whispered to her quivering form. "We can't wait for the bus at this rate, will freeze in a matter of minutes. We can go to my apartment its just a block away from here, so we could get some warmth and change from these wet clothes before we freeze to death."
She slowly let go of me and stared at me anxiously. Again, I take hold of her shoulders and looked her straight in the eyes. "You do trust me? Right?" She then nodded slowly and smile at me. I took her hand and dash to the direction of my apartment.
I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go
But I know that I am much too shy to let you know
Blindly, I reached in the dark apartment for the switch. Turn on the lights and the heater and hurriedly get some clothes from my closet, hand it to her and guided her to the bathroom. As she shuts the door, I quickly rush to my room and change. I then went to the kitchen, put a kettle in the stove and wait for the water to boil. A click and a creak echoed into my quiet apartment as she emerges from the bathroom, in a quite huge t-shirt and sweat pants. Smiling at me, she politely thanked me and asked to use the phone. But as she was to dial the number, a crackling thunder and blinding lightning strikes and cut off the power source and the telephone lines.
She shrieked and run towards my direction in the dark. A loud thump and then a crashed as she collided strongly into my body, we hit the floor with me on top of her. Something soft was on top of my lips, nervously I open my eyes, pleading this wasn't a dream. And was greeted by familiar emerald eyes as the lightning outside gave me a chance to see through her eyes. We both stayed still, not daring to move but then to my surprise she closed her eyes and smiled. I took it a sign and attempts to deepen the kiss. But things really aren't going my way, a familiar shrill echoed in the apartment. 'Shit, why now. That damn kettle.'
Afraid that I might say the wrong words and displease you
Afraid for love to fade before it can come true
I uneasily let go of Sakura's, now, puffy lips and help her up. The darkness wallows up our figures as I try to see her reaction after the kiss. Series of lightning turns up every five minutes that I could peek through the shadows and see her face. Shock ran though my body, as I saw the grim expression on her face. I brushed her bangs from her face tip her chin upwards and look her in the eye. The pain in her eyes cut some deep wounds in me that I started to suffocate.
In shame, I let go of her chin and lowly bow my head. 'Jerk, how could you take advantage of a situation like that? You were the one who told her 'don't you trust me?' speech. Now, look what have you done? Shit!' Trying desperately to blame myself, I attempt to formulate my apology speech to her and how to make up to Sakura…
But as another lightning strike, something red has caught my eyes. "Blood?" I mumbled softly. Gently, I quickly sweep her off her feet and carry her bridal style to the sofa and inspected her left ankle. A chunk of glass was still stuck. I hastily look for some candles and first aid kit. And again probe on the injured feet on how to get it out as painless as possible.
As smoothly as a medical student could, I took out the glass and tend to the wound meticulously as I can to ease the pain. After bandaging her wounds, I looked up at her and notice the tear stricken face and felt revulsion in the pit of my entity. Never in my life, have I've been this terrified at someone else's pain. I know it's just a simple wound but I would never ever want to see her in any kind of pain. And I solemnly vouch for that.
The howls of the wind echoed through the apartment and give this eerie atmosphere that even sent shivers through my whole body. Hesitantly, I sat beside Sakura and observe her demeanor. She was checking out the bandaged foot and testing it in the ground if she could use it securely. But as I have expected, she winced in pain and lost her balance. On impulse, I smoothly catch her. However, I miscalculated my position and we both slip on the couch, this time landing on top of me.
Her mesmerizing gaze caged me from everything that I didn't dare to move a muscle. She slowly gives me an innocent smile, her eyes twinkling with passion that I couldn't understand, Sakura leisurely closes the gap between us. My breath hitches in anticipation, my heart began to race as I fight for control on my tense body. 'It's a dream right? She isn't going to kiss me is she? But why? Why would she even…' But before I finish the inquiries in my head, I heard a soft 'thank you' from her as a sweet soft and intoxicating essence filled my inner being. I relish her gesture by deepening the kiss more passionately, and try to gently but confidently show Sakura my true feelings.
Spontaneously, my left hand caress her cheek, run up to her cherry blossom scented hair and to her back as I stroke it affectionately. I brought my other hand as to embrace her fully and to make her closer to me. As all human beings do, a breath for oxygen tore us apart. She smiled amusingly at my sour face as she giggles, "someone's disappointed." At that, I smirked and pull her into another passionate yet longer kiss.
I can't let you pass me by
I just can't let you go
"I think I'm falling for you." He whispered into the air as he quietly watched her sleeping form. He brushes off the bangs on her face and kisses her forehead as he retires to his own room.
Unknown to him, the certain emerald girl was widely awake, still embracing on every second spent with him. Sakura stares at his retreating back as she whispers into the quiet night before she dozed off. "Me too."
Let me say the things
And say the words to let you know
The sweet aroma of the morning awaken the young lad from his deep slumber. Smiling to himself, he cheerfully gets off his bed and quickly starts his morning routine. As he was about to strip his clothes for a shower, he then notices the familiar scent in the room, the other person in the room felt his presence and peek through the shower curtain… "Ahhh…" They both scream while pointing a finger with one another as they scan the person in front of them from head to foot.
The girl yelled, blushing, "Pervert!!! What the hell…"
"Look, Sakura this isn't what you think. The door is unlocked and I thought no one's in here. I'm… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…" Syaoran stammered nervously, head hang low in shame. He was then cut short of his speech when Sakura pulled him closer smiling. Confuse and tense, he uneasily asks, "Sa-sakura what…" But before he finishes his question, her lips met his in a lingering and passionate kiss until…
The young lad moaned a little bit louder, "Sakura… sakura… sakura…" until he notices something unusual. 'Her lips, why is it so fuzzy? Her scent is so similar to mine, she even taste different? Why is her face so hazy now?'
Syaoran hastily opens his eyes, as he realizes the object of his affection was not in the room. Irritated, he tosses his pillow irately across the room. "Stupid dream…"
The morning radiance filled the quite serene apartment, and sweeps its mood neatly. He groggily zone out of his room and find his way to the bathroom. He rubs his eyes lazily which were still half close. So sleepily he walked around his apartment to his bathroom only to bump on something, or someone.
I would rather say the awkward words than lose you
Or for love to fade before it can come true
Afraid for love to fade before it can come true
Whatever it is, Syaoran decides to grab it before it fall face flat on the floor. He then heard a sudden yelp as he pull it towards him a little roughly. Drowsily, he opens his eyes, amber meets emerald. Surprised, Syaoran ask for good measure, "Sa-sakura?"
Sakura just gave him this innocent smile and greeted him, "Good morning to you too, sleepyhead."
Confuse, he just smile and then blush at the proximity of their faces. He uneasily let go of his hold on her and scratch his head in utter shyness. "Um… I… I'm sorry again… I…" but was again cut off by her finger on his lips as she shakes her head in disapproval.
"You always apologize for everything, even if you don't have too. Look, I'm really ok." Sakura cutely pouted. He is so mesmerize by her voice, her eyes, her whole angelic façade, that he just gawk at her for merely ten minutes straight. The chirping of the birds, the funny sounds the television of the neighbor projects, and even the annoying noise of the traffic jam didn't disturb his trance until a cough brought him back to reality.
The ambiance of the room suddenly got stuffy and he felt suffocated from embarrassment. But then the serene apartment was filled with this cute giggles as he looked up to a very amused Sakura. Her laughter was insanely addictive that he too laughed out loudly.
The aftereffects of their laughter brought them out of breath and hungry and so they decided to eat their breakfast. As they share their bowls of cereals and milk, Syaoran sneak a glance at the beautiful maiden beside him. Satisfied with his stolen glance he ponder on the things that's been bothering him for quite sometime.
My head's in a jam
Can't take you off my mind…
'It wasn't just a dream…' He stares at her locks that lightly fall on her face, the frame of her face the delicate traces of her innocence, and her lips… '…the kiss? It was real then?…' He continue to gawk at her, her petite figure that outlines her very fragile structure, her long legs that… 'her ankle, the wound, her injury. Is she…'
Sakura notices his eyes on her cut, she blush at the concern his eyes reveal. Unexpectedly, she tips his chin upwards and smile at him. "It's ok, don't worry it doesn't hurt that much and it isn't your fault."
Let me say the things and say the words to let you know
I would rather say the awkward words than lose you
Her words sent a tingling sensation all over his now agile body. Syaoran couldn't shook off this feeling that he just again lowered his head to hide his blush. He tries to encourage himself to say everything out in the open before he looses this chance.
'I just need to be honest with her, with everything I just need to before I lose myself, before I lose her. Ok, I can do this. Haa… Breath in, breath out… Huh huh huh… He exhales quietly.'
Fumbling with his fingers, he began, "Umm… ano… Sa-sakura, I know we just met a few days before and you might think I'm going too fast or I'm a stalker but I have notice you a few weeks before…" He tries to look up and see Sakura's reaction which projects a very calm aura. Syaoran then continue trying not to nibble too hard on his lower lips, "I've notice you on the bus for three days in a row, and been observing you since then."
Sakura's eyes widened in shock for she thought that it was only a one-sided attraction, too bad Syaoran was so nervous he never looked up again in utter shame. Syaoran, then continue after pausing thinking over what the next words he would say, failing to see the smile and pink tint that crept up the face of the girl beside him.
"IREALLYREALLYLIKEYOU!CANYOUPLEASEGIVEMEACHANCETOKNOWYOUBETTER?ITWOULDBEANHONORTOBEYOURBOYFRIEND? I know it's really sudden but I can't seem to hold on any longer. I'll go mad if I can't have you and…"
A very amuse girl interrupted his confession, "Say that again, I didn't catch that. Could you talk a little slower?"
Syaoran who is now very red from embarrassment tries to muster his courage again and this time talk a little bit slower and clearly, "Sakura, I really really like you since the day I saw you in that bus, when you sneezed in the man's cigar the first day, bumped me and sat beside the old lady on the second day, and when you got knock off by your friend the third day. It sounds crazy, but I'm not stalking you, it just I think fortunate coincidences that I happen to see you those days. I would like to know you better. Can you please give me a chance to know you more? It would be an honor for me to be your boyfriend. I know it's really sudden but I can't seem to hold on any longer. I'll go mad if I can't have you but don't get me wrong I'm not this aggressive it's just that I don't know… I think you've knocked me out pretty hard." Syaoran then bravely faces the object of his affection which is currently stun from his confessions. He looked straight into her eyes, "Please don't think that I'm pressuring you now, I'll wait for your answer even if…"
Sakura jumped from her seat and hugged the bewildered boy. "I…I... sakura…" he stammered. But she ignored him and kisses him on the cheek and professes. "I'm glad you told me, coz if not I would have." Syaoran taken aback, look at her confusedly but stayed still to hear the details. "I too, have noticed you and was mesmerized with you. I thought I was going insanely obsessed with you that I've become depressed when I never saw you again after those two days and felt so blessed when you saved me from hitting the ground on that stormy day." Syaoran smiled at her and encourage her to go with her account, his hands sweaty from anxiety and shove them into his pockets. "I've never had anyone before and not aware of these feelings that I have for you, but I'm glad that you clarified them for me, what these things meant." She gave him the sincerest smile he have ever received and caress his relaxed yet blushing face, "I'm flattered with your offer and very thrilled to accept it." She then cupped his face with both her silky hands and said, "There's no pressure, I wouldn't want to have it any way, I like to be your girlfriend."
Syaoran who was loss for words, and overwhelmed with her admittance, hugged her tightly and savor her essence in his arms. She chuckle at his reaction but was soon caught up with his lips locking on hers. Her heart began to speed off wildly, her breath hitching from anticipation and her insides squirm insanely. His lips caress hers passionately begging for entrance as she willingly submit to him. Their tongues mingled expertly as their spirits interact with one another. Hearts now tangle, souls intertwined bound to discover the extremities of this thriving sensation, as they settled themselves in the arms of the one they've longed for.
Chances of finding love or destiny has its complexities. Popping out unexpectedly in such peculiar schemes, handing over opportunities to be acknowledged and nurtured. Grab, before it's too late. Take a chance, take a risk.
Don't let it fade away before it can come true.
A/N: This is the rewritten version of this fic. Thanks guys for reading, reviewing and adding this story to your favorites. Please review and read my other fics.
bangag_pa January 23, 2009
July 19, 2009 revised