Silent Devotion
Chapter One
Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Supernatural franchise. I do not own any of the characters depicted apart from my own original characters, nor do I share any of the beliefs the characters in this story express. I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story.
"I can hear you breathing, Castiel." Mild words, but Castiel took it for the reproach it really was. The youngest Winchester had always been the quietest, more balanced of the three siblings. The first one to point out how beautiful the snow was when it fell; and she always laughed more freely and in such happiness with her siblings, and sometimes even with him. But that had been before.
He showed himself, standing in front of her awkwardly in the middle of Bobby's junkyard "pardon me for…breathing". A slight tilting of her lips, and he mourned the heartfelt laughter she would normally shower upon him. It had only been an hour since she returned. An hour since dry lightning had lit up the sky, no sound or rain accompanying flashes above. An hour since Sam and Dean had struck a deal. An hour since she was returned to Earth. And an hour since she had cried, and cried, such devastated tears, that her older brother's had been sure she would never stop.
"Breathe, don't breathe. Do whatever you want Cas." Needles in his heart, his bone's felt hollow and as if they were slowly being bent by an unseen force. He said nothing, showed nothing of his emotions, yet she still sighed remorsefully and patted the seat besides her "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that, Cas. It's just," her shoulder's hunched, and her silent tears continued their downpour "it's so loud here. The air brushing past me, my heartbeat. It's deafening. How could they do this to me, Cas? I was so happy. Can't anyone stay dead anymore?".
He sat stiffly, his head tilted towards the young female, eyes regretful "they believed you were in Hell". Her shoulder's tightened even more so, her fits balling on her knees "they should have asked!". Castiel lifted his hand, unsure, before patting her gently "I was unavailable. And they would believe nothing any demon said. There was no one else to ask".
They sat in the dark, the stillness of the junkyard giving them both solace. "Such silence there was, Cas. I felt at home, at peace, for the first time. Ever. I felt safe. The only thing that would have made it even more perfect was if the boys had been with me," she sniffed, the first sign she showed of stoping her tears "I would never have chosen to come back. They should have come to me. How could they trade… "
"You were never supposed to die," Castiel interrupted "that is why it was so easy to bargain for your return to Earth". The night was heavy then, but the youngest had never been very good at brooding. Soon her head was on his shoulder, and Castiel treasured her warmth at his side.
"Can I ask you something, Cas?" In that moment, he was her own personal Angel. "You were unavailable because you were watching over me, weren't you?" they both stared ahead into the night, not acknowledging what was unsaid between them. "Your brother's asked me to. And, I am your Guardian. You weren't supposed to be there".
Castiel felt her lips curve for the first time since she had returned "Gruff and Grim would never have let me sleep the year away. I wish I could have kept a Celestial Wolf". He was confused, and he tilted his head down at her "there are no Celestial Wolves in Heaven. That is Chinese mythology".
She laughed in his ear, and he struggled to keep himself emotionless "I know. Still, it would have been cool". Castiel was thoughtful "a wolf, no, but I am sure I could find you a feline". He surprised bubbling laughter out of her, familiar and as welcome as her warmth "I would name her Kisa, it's Russian".
He was startled when she stood and helped him up, her cold finger's curling around his own; he couldn't help his own hand doing the same. As they approached Bobby's house the screen door banged behind them as Sam and Dean walked out to greet them, and Castiel took a mental note: the Winchester siblings have some unexplainable bond that lets them know when one is coming.