Title: It's Always Been You
By: Bailee
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Summary: Maura has an interesting conversation with Lydia after dinner and can't help but tell Jane about it. Post 3x11. One Shot.
Disclaimer: I don't own, I rent.
A/N: Okay, I promised myself I wouldn't start another story until I updated my others, but after last night, I couldn't help it. My entire thoughts about the episode can be summed up in one word: MARRIED. They are so married. So. Freaking. Married. That is all.
Enjoy!
It Has Always Been You
After dinner, Maura was almost finished returning her kitchen to its normal pristine condition when she heard footsteps approaching her. The rest of the family had moved into the living room after they had finished eating and everyone was taking turns holding TJ while they all continued to learn more about one another.
Maura looked up, surprised to see Lydia was the one approaching her.
"Oh, Lydia, did you need something?"
"No, no, I just wanted to say thank you, again. For having us over for dinner, for taking care of TJ a couple days ago."
"It's really no problem, Lydia, I'm happy to help out."
"You and Jane are both so great with him. You will make amazing parents. Have you thought about having kids soon?"
Maura crinkled her eyebrows in confusion, opened her mouth to speak, and then closed it again. Was Lydia really asking her what it seemed like she was asking her?
"What are you talking about?"
"You and Jane. You guys seem so happy together, don't you want to have a Maura Junior or Jane Junior?"
"Lydia, Jane and I aren't…we're not a couple."
"You're not?"
Lydia looked truly shocked, as if she was certain the two women were together.
"No. No. No. Jane and I are just friends. Best friends. But just friends. We're not dating."
"Does she know that?"
"What do you mean? Of course she knows that!"
"It's just…the way she looks at you. That's why I assumed. You just look so in love."
"We are not in love!"
Lydia simply smiled in return, as if saying she didn't quite believe her, then returned to her son in the other room. Maura looked up and glanced in that direction. She caught Jane's eye and gave her a small smile, which the other woman returned immediately.
Maura broke the gaze first, looked down and shook her head slightly. She loaded the rest of the plates before joining Jane on the couch, sitting only slightly closer than necessary.
- R & I -
Later that night, Jane collapsed onto her side of the bed, not bothering to change out of her tshirt, but did manage to slip off her slacks, just to avoid any comments from Maura.
She was way too tired for that.
"Did you get him to sleep?"
"Yeah, Ma said she and Tommy have it covered tonight."
Lydia had reluctantly agreed to let Tommy care for TJ that night, only if he dropped him off first thing on his way to his house painting job. After dinner while Maura had gone through her extensive bedtime routine, Jane slipped over to the guest house to help give him a bath and get him to sleep before she returned to Maura's, far too tired to drive home.
The two laid in silence for a few moments; Jane had thought Maura was already asleep until the blonde rolled over on her side to face Jane, a hesitant look on her face.
Jane turned her head to meet her eyes and she could practically feel Maura's brain turning, obviously focused on something pretty intently.
"I had an interesting conversation with Lydia tonight."
"I never thought I would hear you use interesting and Lydia in the same sentence."
Jane laughed at her own joke and smirked when she saw Maura roll her eyes, "I'm being serious, Jane."
"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, what did you and Lydia talk about?"
"Well, she was…she was under the impression that you and I were a couple."
"Why on earth would she think that?"
"That's what I thought at first. But then I thought back over our recent interactions, particularly those in the company of Lydia and I could see how she would have made that mistake."
Jane scoffed at her in disbelief. "We do not act like we are dating."
"Actually, we do. And every time she came over here, you were here, your mother lives in the guesthouse, and so it would be easy to assume you lived here as well. You do spend the night here quite often; we spend the majority of our time together. We go out to dinner and do other so called "date activities" together on a regular basis."
Jane made a small "hmm" noise and rolled over to face Maura, giving her a long, hard look before closing her eyes and rolling back onto her back, "I guess that makes sense."
Maura felt her jaw drop a bit; shocked that Jane didn't have more to say on the subject. She had expected Jane to be upset, she expected her to yell and get defensive and deny it to no end. She did expect…acceptance.
"That's it? You have nothing more to say on the matter?"
"Well, I'm thinking that if I've had a girlfriend for this long, I should probably be having more sex than I am, but other than that, no. I mean, what do I care if Lydia thinks we're together? She's an idiot anyway."
Maura could feel her hands shaking a bit, her mouth went dry and she was glad she was already lying down because she felt a bit lightheaded. She hadn't even thought about this conversation in relation to their sex life and once Jane had said it, it was like she had opened the floodgates and Maura's mind was flooded with images of she and Jane making love in her bed, right where they were lying now.
She couldn't help but feel aroused at the suggestion and she wondered if Jane was having the same sort of reaction.
"Maur? You okay?"
The blonde's eyes fluttered open and she looked at Jane in surprise; she hadn't realized she had been quiet for so long. "Yes…I'm fine. Totally fine."
Her breath began to come in short bursts and she felt the telltale sign of hives creeping up her neck and she begged Jane wouldn't notice.
But she was lying in bed with a detective, after all.
Jane arched an eyebrow in her direction and took a deep breath before speaking again. "Okay, so you're obviously not fine. So what's up?"
"Nothing!" She wouldn't be able to keep this up for long. She was already near hyperventilating and she knew she wouldn't be able to evade Jane's question again without going vasovagal.
"Maur, come on, you can tell me. Is it the sex thing?" A quick look at Maura was all she needed to confirm the theory.
"I wasn't suggesting we have sex or anything; it was just a comment. I didn't know you'd be so opposed to the idea. Frankly, I'm a bit insulted. You told me you've slept with women before, so that obviously can't be why, so then it must just be me. Is the thought of having sex with me that awful?"
Throughout her entire speech, Maura continued to breath erratically and the hives were nearly up to her chin by now. No, she definitely could not lie anymore, and if she did, Jane would realize it was a lie immediately anyway, yet now Jane has asked her a yes or no question and sat there expecting an answer.
All Maura could do was shake her head slightly from side to side, closing her eyes tightly, not wanting to see Jane's reaction.
Before she could even really register what was happening, she felt Jane's lips on hers, giving her a hesitant kiss. Jane quickly pulled back, not letting Maura respond.
"Please tell me I didn't just screw up our entire friendship."
Maura shook her head again, unable to form any words. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she felt like she needed to say, but none of the words felt right, so instead, she took a page from Jane's book and let her actions speak.
Her head was swimming with every fantasy she'd had before about telling Jane her true feelings and she couldn't help but think that none of them compared to reality. Her lips were on Jane's and her entire body felt like it was on fire. Her fingertips tingled as she ran a hand down Jane's arm softly and her heart was beating so fast she felt like it might fly out of her chest.
If she was ever worried Jane didn't feel the same, the thought would have been extinguished immediately; Jane kissed her back with just as much passion and she could tell the detective had been thinking about it for some time as well.
Eventually they broke apart, panting deeply, eyes locked together, blinking rapidly. Jane took a deep breath and recovered her breathing faster as Maura still lie on her side, out of breath.
Jane licked her lips slightly and swallowed hard before speaking again.
"I don't think I want my girlfriend dating other people anymore."
Maura simply smiled and captured her lips once again before curling into Jane's side and laying her head on the taller woman's chest. She closed her eyes, preparing to fall into a deep, restful sleep.
Jane wasn't ready to let the conversation go and she spoke again, keeping Maura from her sleep.
"Maur? Maura, are you even listening to me?"
"Shh, sleeping now" Maura replied, giggling into Jane's chest. She felt Jane's arm wrap tighter around her back, pulling her closer.
"You're lucky I love you" Jane mumbled into blonde curls after placing a kiss to the top of Maura's head.
"Wait. You love me?"
The look of absolute disbelief on Maura's face broke Jane's heart in two. No matter how their lives had changed in the last couple years, no matter how much love she had been surrounded by, not just from Jane, but from Angela too, even Frankie and Tommy and Korsak and Frost; even Constance had been much more affectionate in the past year; but part of Maura would always be that little girl who struggled to find her place.
Part of her would always be that little girl whose parents cared more about their careers and travelling than they did about her. Part of her would always be that little girl who was neglected for the majority of her childhood.
And that broke Jane's heart.
So she did what she did best and she let her actions speak and gave Maura a long, slow kiss. Unlike the raw fire and passion that had fueled their kiss earlier, this one was different. In that one kiss, Jane opened her soul to Maura, letting her feel all the love she had for her best friend.
"I've loved you for as long as I can remember."
Maura felt a lone tear escape her eye and couldn't help the grin that was currently taking residence on her face. She had been waiting to hear that from Jane for so long, and now that it was finally happening, she couldn't be happier.
"I love you too, Jane."
Jane kissed her one last time before speaking again, "So, no more stupid guys with stupid hair and stupid teeth?"
"No more stupid guys" Maura agreed, "For you either."
"No one but you. It's always been you."
Maura settled into Jane's chest again and closed here eyes, a peaceful look on her face.
"Goodnight, Jane"
"Night, Maur."
- R & I -