Hey there, peeps!
So, I wrote this one-shot a while back for the Love Lost Contest, but I didn't get the chance to turn it in. I was greatly encouraged to post it up anyway and now that the contest is over and all the winners announced, I thought it safe to do so. And now here it is.
Voila!
Hope you like it, or at least doesn't make you cringe. Ehehe.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Summary: He promised to never let her go while she promised to remain by his side forever. Their life's they bound together, but Fate always has other plans. In the end, will Edward remember to let go and allow himself to breathe?
Edward
"I promise to love you, for every moment of forever, Isabella Swan. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife, everlasting companion and best friend?" I recited in adoration, looking at the love of my life standing in front of me.
She looked like a goddess incarnate with the illuminating glow of the sun's rays cascading over her mahoghony colored locks and lighting up those beautiful, deep, brown orbs of hers.
"Edward," she breathed out gently. My thoughts and insecurities crept up again, making me fear that she'd say no. That perhaps maybe I had misinterpreted all of her feelings towards me and would always remain the best guy friend to her. Just as I was about to take back my declaration, tears began to pour down her cheeks silently.
Great, I made her cry . . .
"Yes," she spoke up suddenly.
My eyes widened in shock. "What?"
"Yes. Yes, there's nothing more I'd love than becoming your wife. Yes!"
Holy shit, she said yes!
I slid the ring onto her slim finger and swept her off her feet . . . literally. I wasted no time in worshipping her sweet lips until we were both gasping for much needed breath.
"I love you, Bella," I whispered into her ear as I nuzzled her soft neck. "I will always love you."
"I love you too, Edward," she sighed into my touch. "Never let me go, please."
"Never," I promised. "Unless you ask me to."
"Never," she repeated.
With the sun setting around our meadow and the moon beginning to watch over us in the coming darkness, I caressed every inch of skin Bella allowed me. It seemed like I couldn't get enough of her taste and the thought that I might never satisfy the aching I had for her, had me looking forward to the rest of my life with her.
xXx
After spending two blissful weeks on a private island owned by my parents, temporarily given as a gift to us for our honeymoon, I had no desire to return to civilization for I would be required to share my glowing wife. There was no way in hell I was ready for that. I told Bella as such. Her response, "What makes you think I wanna share you?" Which resulted in the extension of our trip at Isle Esme.
In all this time, I discovered that I was indeed right about my assumption that I could never seem to get enough of Bella. Something I was quite happy to know. No matter how much we submitted to each other, and the undeniable instincts to claim the other, there was always that hunger rising again. Newlywed bliss. I'm sure everyone would say, but this felt different. I almost sounded like a vampire with how much I hungered for her.
Now that we were finally packing and getting ready to go home, it hit us that we were about to begin our life together. As husband and wife; I was looking forward to it. Just a few hours later, we were on a plane back to Forks, Washington for a few days before leaving to our home in Seattle.
"Oh darling, just look at that beautiful young couple," an older women's voice sounded from just a few seats away. "Aren't they just adorable?"
I smiled and wrapped my arm a little tighter against my sleeping wife.
"Now Lillian, don't go bothering them," the man next to her said.
"Oh George, why would I do that?" the woman smacked her husband, I assumed, lightly on the shoulder. "Can't you see the poor dears are tired?"
"I'm just saying," George backed off quickly.
Smart move. I concluded grinning.
The rest of our flight passed by uneventful and soon it was time to get off. I shook Bella awake gently and grabbed our luggage. As I requested, a car was waiting for us at the front of the airport. After successfully putting our things inside the trunk, I kissed my tired Bella and settled her inside the passenger seat. The drive to Forks didn't take as long as I thought and soon, I was pulling up the familiar driveway of my parent's house. Night had already set upon us, which is why I was surprised to see my sibling's cars parked neatly in the garage.
"Edward!" my pixie of a sister yelled from the front of the house. Next thing I knew, I was being pulled into hugs this way and that.
"Where is my daughter-in-law?" Esme asked happily. "I must smother her with hugs."
We all laughed at that because it was 100% true.
"She's in the car, mom," I responded. "The flight was tiring."
"The flight or the taking Eddie out for a ride?" Emmett snickered.
"Emmett!" the girls chastised him.
"That's what you get for opening your mouth," Jasper laughed.
"Oh, Esme?" I heard Bella's voice behind me. "Are we here already?"
"Mom," I called out.
"She was already awake, I swear," she responded.
"Son," Carlisle's voice welcomed me.
"Dad," I greeted him.
"Welcome back," he smiled. "Now, I will take your mother's lead and go see how my new daughter-in-law is doing as well."
I stood back and watched my family interact with Bella so easily. It made me glad to see them all together, like a family.
"Oh my," Esme gasped lowly.
I immediately searched for any possible threat, but found none only a joyful spark in Esme's eyes. I could see the way she was stopping herself from blurting out whatever it was that she knew.
"What's wrong, Esme?" Bella asked concerned.
Esme smiled at her so tenderly, I had to stop myself from demanding to know what she knew. "Nothing, my daughter." Esme nearly cooed in response. "Why don't you come inside so you can get something to eat and rest some more?"
"That would be great, I'm starving," laughed Bella.
The girls whisked Bella inside, giggling amongst themselves, and left us guys to watch them go. Of course, Emmett took the liberty to speak up.
"Bella is looking radiant, bro," he grinned. "Marriage suits her."
"Don't even start, Emmett," Jasper started.
"Let's follow the ladies inside," Carlisle suggested.
xXx
We had finally finished settling into our new house. The walls had been repainted to suit Bella's taste, and mine, while the backyard had been given a thorough sweep of the wooden deck installed there. While Bella may have voiced her thoughts on all the expensive work being done, I knew she liked it. Ever since she had told me of her dream house when we had been younglings, I had taken to memorizing every detail. I think even then I knew she would be my wife. Nothing was too good for my girl.
Work had been brutal today and there was nothing I desired more than to get home and wrap my arms around my wife's body. I had been given two months off work for my honeymoon and to get settled into our new home. Now that those months were up, I was finding it difficult to balance all the work they piled up on me and the desire to adore my Bella at home. Bella had assured me it was nothing to worry about because she was running into the same dilemma, but I was sure she was getting annoyed. I know I was. That is why I had stopped by the store on my way home and bought us some wine to relax with some Chinese take out, a particular favorite for both of us. Bella wouldn't be expecting it and anything that would provide us with a break, I was all for.
What surprised me was seeing Bella's car in the driveway on a Tuesday night. Usually, I got home way before she did. I headed inside and was even more surprised to see my wife passed out on the couch, and still in her work clothes. As if sensing my presence, she roused from her slumber.
"Edward, what time is it?" she asked groggily.
"Barely 7, love," I replied putting the wine and take out on the coffee table. I greeted my Bella properly with a passionate kiss.
"Hmm," she hummed pleasantly.
I lifted Bella off the couch and lay her on my lap. "Did you get out of work early today?"
"Kind of," Bella answered. "Angela gave me the rest of the afternoon and tomorrow off because she said I was looking rather sick. That's basically all I've been doing since I got home, sleeping."
"Do you feel sick?" I asked concerned.
"Not really, just a little tired," sighed Bella. "And before you ask, if I do start feeling sick I will let you take me to the doctor."
That's my girl, I smiled.
Somehow, between all the eating and laughing, the food eventually lay forgotten on the table in front of us.
xxx
I'm not sure what woke me up, the gagging sounds or Bella's cries. My head whipped to the side and took in Bella's empty space before I was out of the bed in half a second, searching for her. I found my love, emptying her stomach into the toilet and crying. She stopped for a few moments and slid to the floor weakly.
"Jesus, Bella." I was kneeling next to her and picking her up from the cold tile floor. "What's wrong, sweetheart?"
"I don't know," Bella croaked out, more tears falling down her flushed cheeks.
"It's okay, love. It's okay," I murmured soothingly, cradling her in my arms for a couple of minutes until she pushed me away and threw up again. I held her as she shook roughly and gathered her beautiful locks away from her face. "Shh . . ."
"Oh god," she groaned after she stopped. I helped her get on her feet and steadied her as she insisted on brushing her teeth thoroughly. After she was finished, I picked her up and carried her back to our bed where I took in every small detail of her. Bella looked pale, well paler than usual, and even had a light green tint to her skin. She had her eyes shut tightly and her expression set in a frown, not to mention her hand resting across her forehead. Like I always did, I began to get worried.
"How are you feeling, love?" I asked.
"Like I was left on the Carousel for too long," she muttered.
"Maybe I should take you to the doctor," I suggested gently. After all, I knew how Bella felt about hospitals and doctors.
"I'm fine," she insisted. "Just a little dizzy, that's all."
"You're not fine, Bella," I argued back. "You were throwing up."
"Could have been the food," she said.
I gave her a playful glare even though she couldn't see it. "I don't remember eating any food."
"Geez, Edward," blushed Bella. Her eyes snapped open at my comment and locked with mines. I was no doctor, but I could definitely see something in Bella's eyes that hadn't been there a while ago.
"Please, let me take you to my dad?" I asked her seriously. "I'd feel much better knowing it was nothing than to not be sure."
Bella bit her delicious lip and finally nodded. "Okay."
"Thank you," I breathed out before proceeding to capture her pink lips.
"Didn't know you wanted dessert," Bella giggled in between my kissing.
xXx
"3 months with this coming week," Bella grinned into the phone as she spoke to Esme. "I know, I know. I'll be sure to take extra care of myself. Besides, with Edward around, I doubt he'll let me do anything."
From my office in the library, I still managed to hear my mother's laughter combined with Bella's. But they did get one thing right; I was not going to let Bella lift up an unnecessary finger while I was around. She would be treated like a Queen . . . that is, until she'd yell at me to quit it.
3 months pregnant. I couldn't believe it. I had nearly fainted with shock when Carlisle had given us the news. Seconds later, I practically attacked Bella from happiness in front of my dad. That is not an image any parent wants to witness. We had made Carlisle promise not to tell Esme, or anyone else for that matter, the good news just yet. What we hadn't known was that Esme already knew and when Carlisle had come home with a goofy grin on his face, she couldn't keep quiet. Both assured us that only the two of them would know until we decided to let the others in on the news.
Which is why Esme begged us to come down and visit them. Now I was just finishing up some paperwork and we would be leaving in the afternoon. Bella had insisted on packing an extra change of clothing just in case. I peeked up from my work and caught sight of her walking around in the kitchen, making herself something to eat, with the cordless phone on her shoulder. The sight of her took my breath away, like always really, but this time was different. She was glowing brightly and could rival the Sun, in both warmth and light. She was truly a goddess. And inside her beautiful body, was a little baby growing. Another piece of her, and me, combined.
The light blue sundress she had on barely showed the tiny bump of her stomach, noticeable only to those who knew. Suddenly, I couldn't wait to shout out the news to anyone who would care to listen. I grinned at the thought and finished my work quickly so I could join my wife and perhaps leave earlier than we planned. Once I signed the last piece of paperwork that needed to be done, I hopped up from my chair and remained frozen in the threshold as I watched Bella dance around the kitchen with the grace of a ballerina; she grabbed things from the pantry and cupboards as she went.
Ever so softly, her soft voice filled the air.
"Why do stars fall down from the sky? Every time you walk by. Just like me, they long to be close to you," she sang happily. "Stop staring at me, Edward."
I laughed loudly and wrapped my arms around her, once I caught her of course. "I'll stop once you stop being so adorable and since that's never gonna happen . . ."
"Shut up," giggled Bella.
"I love you too, sweetheart," I responded cheekily. "Why don't you let me make something for us?"
"Edward," Bella started, but I interrupted her lightly.
"Really," I want to cook for you," I smiled and added. "And our baby."
Bella stood quiet, staring at me with her gorgeous eyes, until I noticed tears brimming on the corner of her eyes. I freaked out.
"What did I say? Are you okay? Does something hurt? Is it the baby?" I shot off asking question after question. "Say something, Bella."
She spoke with a quivering lip. "That was so sweet, baby."
It's the hormones, I concluded.
"You're the sweet one, darling," I pecked her on the lips then sat down on a chair. "Now, let me cook for you and our baby."
xxx
After I fed my hungry wife and myself, Bella all but pushed me out the door in her excitement to see my - our - family. Bella had always been loved by them even as a child and after the accident that killed Renee and Charlie, Esme and Carlisle made her their own. Not legally, mind you, but in every sense of the word. Bella loved them all despite the fact that they could be such nosey meddlers.
Most of the drive to my parent's, Bella slept soundly in the passenger seat. Occasionally, she'd murmur in her sleep and rub her belly gently. I loved watching as she slept, it was very fascinating to me for some reason, and right now it was no exception. We arrived in Forks an hour or so after that. This time around, none of my sibling's cars were in the garage and Esme was standing outside in greeting. The smile on her face was of pure joy and motherly affection as she watched over us coming up the front steps. Bella ran up the last two steps and embraced my mother in a tight hug. The two started talking animatedly, leaving me in the dust, while they walked inside the house. I rolled my eyes at them playfully and followed in their footsteps.
"Have you been eating right, Bella? Not too much strain I hope?" Esme's concerned questions echoed off of the hallway. "How are you feeling so far? I'm so excited and happy for you!"
"Thank you, Esme," grinned Bella. "I'm feeling fine, nothing out of the ordinary so far. Like I've told Edward as well."
"Doesn't hurt to ask," I piped up from behind. "By the way, where's everyone?"
"Your father is at the airport picking up Alice and Jasper from their business trip," replied Esme. "Rosalie and Emmett went to the grocery store. They should all be here any minute now. Come, we'll be eating outside on the deck."
"Isn't there any chance of rain?" I asked. "This is Forks."
"It's been rather sunny all week, actually, and we're just appreciating the sunlight before the coming storm predicted for next week," Esme answered.
We barely set one foot on the wooden deck when Emmett's booming laughter sounded from the front of the house. A couple of seconds later both Rosalie and him walked through the back door of the house and joined us. After not seeing my brother for a couple of months, as well as my sister-in-law, I was glad to be able to have this get together at this precise moment.
"Uncle Eddie!" A child's voice called at me. "Auntie Bell!"
The little face of my 4 year old niece popped up from behind Rosalie and ran straight at me. She lifted her arms up at me to carry her and I did just that. Her short, curly light brown hair was up in two pigtails and her bright blue eyes shined with happiness. She began talking all about her new toys she had received from grandma Esme and grandpa Carlisle, and her birthday coming up in a couple of months.
"Lily!" Bella smiled widely.
"Auntie!" Lily squealed and squirmed to be put down on the ground again. I laughed at her eagerness and set her down. She ran towards my Bella, her little dress swaying in the wind, but stopped right in front of my wife. Lily looked up at her and seemed to be inspecting her by the way she tilted her head to side in thought.
"What's wrong, sweetie?" asked Bella concerned.
"You're going to have a baby," Lily responded. A contagious giggle filled the air at the same time several loud gasps erupted throughout the backyard.
"OMG!" Alice's voice rang loudly. "You're pregnant and you didn't tell us?"
"Lily just told you all," Bella bit her lip nervously lifting the child up into her arms.
Lily giggled again and swept her arms out wide, "Surprise!"
XxX
I knew something was wrong.
The empty spaces of silence in the waiting room taunted me with the white of the walls and stillness of the place. You could very well drop a needle and hear it thunder on impact with the ground. The television was muted and not even the chit chatter that usually occurred outside in the main hall could be heard. I was left alone with my own mind racing with troublesome scenarios that were not helping at all and kept me pacing from one side of the room to the next. I wouldn't be surprised if there was a hole caused by my incessant steps on the squeaky floors. A quick look at the clock hanging on the wall revealed to me just how much time had gone by since the doctor and nurses had kicked me out of Bella's room.
One of the nurses should have been here by now, which left me with the only conclusion I had feared; complications.
No. Don't even think about it, Edward! I yelled at myself in fear.
Carlisle had been the first person that I called as soon as Bella's contractions had begun. In a panic, I had yelled into the phone and demanded that he be here as soon as possible. The fact that he was about two hours away hadn't mattered to me. I needed my dad here. For once in my life, when it came to Bella, I had no idea what to do. No fucking idea. And I was scared. Scared to lose Bella or the baby . . . or both. They were my life and the only things important to me, besides my family. If I lost them . . . Fuck!
I pulled at my hair in frustration, gritting my teeth together to stop from screaming. What the hell was taking them so long? I needed to see my wife and be standing next to her doing all I could to support her. Just as I was about to kick the door down and march straight into the delivery room, one of the nurses that had received us when we arrived here walked through the door. It was either the falsely placed smile or the tension surrounding her that gave me the answer I didn't want to know.
"Mr. Cullen?" The nurse asked.
"Why did they kick me out of the room? What's wrong with my wife?" I asked immediately not wanting to hear any bullshit.
"The doctor is with her now and she's about to give birth," the nurse answered timidly, even taking a hesitant step backwards. "There was a small concern with the delivery and that's why you were escorted out of the room. Please follow me."
Finally!
I followed the nurse back to the delivery room and put on the scrubs required. Once I walked through the double doors, Bella's pained voice hit me so suddenly my knees almost buckled.
"Where's my husband? I need him, please?" she cried softly. "My baby . . ."
"Calm down, Mrs. Cullen," I heard the doctor say. "You need to be calm right now. Your husband has already been called. Focus on your breathing."
I pushed aside the curtain and looked upon my Bella laying down in agony and calling for me; a shadow of fear shined in her eyes. Her face was matted with her damp hair and she looked ready to pass out. Another nurse was wiping her forehead with a towel and telling her to breathe. Our eyes found each other immediately and it was only us and our baby. I was at her side instantly, taking her hand and whispering how much I loved her. She squeezed my hand hard and bit her lip in an attempt to subdue a scream.
"You're strong, Bella," I continued whispering to her. "If there is anyone strong enough to bring a baby into the world it's you, my love."
"Okay, Bella. Get ready to push," the doctor said.
"You can do this, Bella," I kissed her temple. "I love you so much, sweetheart. You look so beautiful."
"Edward," Bella panted.
"Push now, Bella!"
She gave my hand a dangerous squeeze and a scream tore through her lips. All the while, I kept whispering words of love into her ear and pushing her hair out of her face as soothingly as I could. Hearing her labored breathing and seeing her body shudder with pain had me feeling helpless because I couldn't do anything to take her pain away. The only thing I could do was utter sweet words of love and encouragement to her. Besides all the pain she was in, she really was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen and one of the bravest. My hand was completely numb, but if it helped her then I wouldn't complain.
It seemed like hours that the doctor told Bella to keep pushing. The minutes crawled by, but that all suddenly stopped as I heard Bella's last cry. The angelic sound of a baby crying filled the air and time seemed to mend itself again. I turned to my sweet Bella and kissed her temple in adoration. I watched as the nurse wrapped a small pink blanket around our baby and lay her in Bella's arms. More tears fell down Bella's cheeks as she kissed our baby's forehead and muttered.
"You belong to me and I belong to you, my little Alexa," she said. "Forever."
I was far too taken with the sight of my daughter in Bella's arms to say anything. I looked on with silent awe. The same nurse that had placed our little Alexa with Bella took her again to clean her up. She was placed on a table some feet away. I turned back to my wife and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"The night you said you loved me, what was I wearing?" Bella asked looking straight into my eyes.
"Bella?" I was confused. She continued to look at me silently. "Light blue shirt, jeans and my leather jacket."
"And my hair?" She asked in a near whisper.
"A flower from our meadow," I answered. "I confessed my love to you the very same night you taught me how to breathe. To never give up."
She smiled at me and pulled me to her until our lips met in the middle. I kissed her back and poured every word and every emotion I couldn't verbalize. Saying I love you wasn't enough, it never had been. But spending my life showing her just how much I loved her was something I looked forward to, just like I told myself when I married her. A very familiar blush arose on her cheeks; the blush reserved only for me.
"I love you, Bella," I sighed into her mouth. "So much."
"And I love you, Edward," she responded. I couldn't contain myself and kissed her again.
Something's wrong, I thought to myself yet again. Her lips, which had been entirely warm only seconds before, now felt cold against mine. I broke off the kiss and took another look at her. Bella rested her head back on the bed and I noticed how her eyes began to close slowly. I almost wrote it off as exhaustion, she had just given birth, but there was something in her expression that wasn't quite right. The edges of her lips were turning blue and then the answer appeared in my thoughts. The very answer I had never wanted to know.
"Bella?" I called out in a panic and jumped from my spot on the bed.
"It's okay, Edward," whispered Bella. "Take care of our baby girl. It's gonna be okay, my love. Just breathe."
Time was no longer in its place again. As Bella's eyes shined for me for the last time, I felt my heart stop beating and then there was only me. Alone. A startling pressure like I had never known before knocked the air right out of my body and made me tumble to my knees. Sound ceased to exist. I became frozen in my place with no sense of what was happening anymore. Bella's words kept repeating over and over again in my mind like a holy prayer. The pressure on my chest increased to the point where the room began spinning and I grasped at the darkness spilling into my vision.
Relief.
xxx
"Edward." Someone called my name softly. The heavy sleep that had fallen on me began to lift, yet I still called it back for I did not want to wake. I did not want to remember. Was that too much to ask for?
"Please, Edward," another voice called. "Wake up, honey. I know you're in despair, but you have a little baby that needs you."
Alexa.
The name of my daughter lifted me from the nothingness in which I was floating in. Slowly, I felt myself regain consciousness and slip back into the world I desperately tried to escape from. At last I found the strength to open my eyes and was instantly met with the worried faces of my family . . . and daughter. I found my daughter's face and at that same moment, she opened her little eyes. Thousands of memories crashed into my head, all consisting of one person: Bella. Had it not been for my sister's hand on my shoulder, I would have surely lost myself and my mind.
"My daughter," I croaked out.
Esme walked around the bed I was lying in and gave me my daughter to hold. She practically kicked everyone else out of the room and left us alone. The only thing I could manage, without losing my mind, was staring at Alexa. It was impossible to shut off the ever ringing voice of Bella in my ear. A sound I wouldn't be able to hear again coming right from her. Alexa's little kitten cries snapped me out of my sorrowful thoughts and made me focus on her. She was all I had left of Bella.
"Mommy's with the angels now," I said to her. "I will always take care of you, Alexa Marie."
A glint of silver from the corner of my eye caught my attention. When I looked closer, I saw it was Bella's necklace. The one I had made for her when her parents had died eight years ago and she had only been seventeen. It was a pair of wings with Bella's name engraved on one and, at her insistence, my name on the other. I grabbed it from the table beside my bed and winced as a soft familiar jingling sound wove itself into the air around us. I glanced back at my sleeping daughter and was surprised to see her open her eyes once again. She stared straight into mine and now that she was up close to me, I could make out the light brown of her eyes; just like Bella. I breathed in and moved my hand enough to make the jingling sound again.
This time, Alexa closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. My heart constricted painfully in my chest and as I was about to break down, a faint scent filled the air. My body froze in its place. I could identify that smell anywhere, no matter the millions of other ones in the air with it. Strawberries and freesias.
Just breathe.
Bella's words swiveled around. Without even trying to push them away, I looked down at Alexa sleeping and answered. "I will."
Soo... what'd you think?
~*~Mimi-Love-4Ever