AN: My first Suits fanfic and the first fanfic I wrote in English so far, so please go easy on me. ;) Hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Suits (unfortunately).
Song text: Simon & Garfunkel: I am a rock
Far past midnight, once again.
Harvey glanced at Donnas desk, which was as empty as dark, because of Donna having packed in about two hours ago, giving him this day's last and only jolly smile, telling him to go home and get some sleep. A good piece of advice, although he hadn't obeyed it. Apart from all the work on his desk that waited to be done, there was nothing waiting for him at home. The last couple of nights he had tossed and turned in his bed, unable to find more than a few minutes of really bad sleep, filled with nightmares, making him wake up screaming and shivering. Not exactly the way he wanted to spend his nights and definitely not the way he would spend this night. On the other hand, sitting here, staring into space, tired and hungry and frustrated all at once, wasn't that much better, was it?
He sighed quietly and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes to rest for a second. All those files and notes on his desk, he didn't want to see it. Not only now, no, never ever again. Perhaps he should just screw up every single page and practice aiming for the trash. Or pull them to pieces, itsy-bitsy pieces, and turn Jessicas office into a winter wonderland. He thought about those two options for a while, but they absolutely failed to cheer him up. What the heck was wrong with him? Throwing paper balls all through his office always managed to make his day, didn't it? Why not now? What was the goddamn difference?
Mike, answered a shy voice in his head and straightway ducked.
Harvey snorted, opened his eyes and suddenly felt the urge to punch something.
No, actually, to punch someone.
He grabbed his coffee mug to smash it, solely to watch it shatter. He so damn wanted to watch it crash into the wall, to hear it break in so many parts that no one would ever be able to put it back together, to walk over the debris and listen to the cracking noise.
Instead, Harvey swallowed and put the mug back on his desk. He stood up, took his cell and told Ray he was on his way downstairs to finally go home.
Seconds after he got into the car and somehow managed to win the fight with his seat belt, he dozed off and didn't wake up until Ray opened the car door, a serious look on his face. "What's wrong, Ray?", Harvey asked, while he tried to climb out of the car.
"I was told to deliver this", answered Ray and passed him a jewel case.
Harvey took the jewel case, but looked at it as if it could explode every moment. Only one person was able to command Ray in this distinctive way. He sighed. "What else did Donna order you to do?"
"I'm supposed to tell you: Stop kicking the dog." Ray shrugged, went to the cars other side and said: "Good night."
Harvey nodded silently and waited for Ray to be out of sight, before he turned around and went to his apartment. He unlocked the door, went to his couch and sat down, suddenly to tired and exhausted to stand on his feet for one more second.
Donna, on his side all along.
But not any longer.
How could she possibly do this to him?
And why, for God's sake? Wasn't she the one telling him, using one of the files Mike prepared for him wouldn't mean he had to forgive that little snitch? She knew what Mike did to him and still she took his side? Without any reason, without any warning? What was he supposed to do? To just forget what happened? That this bastard stabbed him in the back, after everything he did for him? Taking him under his wings, defending him against Louis, Jessica, Hardman?
An inarticulated call escaped his throat, setting his blood on fire. Harvey leaped to his feet, still screaming his mind to the heavens, smashing his glassy coffee table, knocking down his beloved armchair and some bookshelves, not even noticing the tears filling his eyes, blurring his vision, running down his cheeks and the blood covering his knuckles.
After what felt like an eternity, the anger finally subsided and Harvey sank down to the floor, knowing that there was nothing left, not even rage. Without thinking, his fingers reached for the jewel case. With the last of his strength, Harvey stood up and stumbled towards the CD player. He opened the jewel case and glanced at the CD. In harmonious, blue letters, Donna's handwriting, no doubt, there was a sentence written across: You don't want to be that way. Harvey hesitated, but then he turned the player on and sat down on the couch again.
"A winter's day, in a deep and dark December, I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below, on a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island", a sad, but warm voice sang.
Desperate laughter fought its way out of Harvey's lungs, while he lied down on the couch, closing his sore eyes and falling asleep before his head touched the pillow.
"What the hell …? Harvey? Harvey, are you alright?"
Hands, on his shoulders, gentle and smooth.
Aftershave, intense, but not intrusive.
Not Donna.
Mike.
In a split second, Harvey forced his eyes open and tried to get himself in an upright position, instantly regretting the sudden move, nauseating pain exploding in his head. He groaned, dominated by dizziness and sickness, unable to keep his balance. It was Mike who put him back onto the couch and covered him with a blanket, softly talking to him, soothing. Harvey closed his eyes again.
Jessica.
Mike.
Donna.
What ever they wanted with him, he didn't care.
No, he didn't care.
Not any more.
A pleasant smell brought Harvey back to here and now.
"Well, well. Finally awake, our Sleeping Beauty."
Harvey moaned, but yet smiled. "Donna", he mumbled and managed to open his eyes. After some blurry seconds, his vision was back to normal and he saw the redheaded woman sitting in his armchair. He looked at her, puckered brows, confused. There were many things regarding last night he couldn't remember – probably never would. But he was damn sure that he kicked that armchair Donna was now sitting in.
"There's lots of tea and soup waiting for you. Wanna take a pill first?"
Suddenly broad awake, Harvey let his eyes wander over his furnishings. Some shelves were slightly damaged, books were in wrong order and both his carpet and his coffee table were notably absent, but everything else seemed to be in its place, somehow.
"We cleaned up the mess. Mike was surprisingly good at that. Before that, we doctored you up. You can thank us later."
"You sent him."
"Of course, I did. You didn't show up at work, I was worried and our puppy was lacking for anything better to do. So, I considered this to be a wise and foresighted move. Guess what, I was right. Yet again." She gave him a lovely, caring smile and added: "You might be an island, Harvey. But Mike and me? We are the water that always surrounds you."
