With Your Soul

Disclaimer: I don't own Soul Eater ya ya ya...but you already knew that didn't you?

Fair warning, I know that Crona is mostly referred to as a male in the anime. The manga hints at being a female. I know he/she is Gender ambiguous. I see her as a girl and so I will write with that idea in mind. If that doesn't bother your perception of the character then enjoy :)

Its been an adjustment. My whole life and the idea of who I thought I was supposed to be was completely turned on its head.

Crona.

I mean, even my name translates to literally meaning 'dark one'. How was I suppose to know anything different than violence and turmoil in my world?

A mother, who was the only friend, family, and guidance I had known my whole life was nothing but a monster. A monster trying to turn me into a darker monster. She tried to make me into a demon. Maybe she was like a normal mother in that aspect, always pushing their kids to become something greater or find their place in life. I know that she used me. I know she never truly loved me as she should have. I know that now, thanks to Maka.

Its all behind me now.

I still remember all the terrible things I did. All the destruction and death I've been the cause of. I think about it a lot. Kid scolds me and tells me that's counterproductive. My whole life seems counterproductive. I know my mother was the one who led me down the path of being a kishin, but at some point I wonder...did I start to like it?

Ragnarok defiantly did, he loved the sense of strength he grew with every soul we devoured, whether it was that of an innocent or not. He loved the power, my mother was somewhat proud of the power, but where did I fall?

Do I know the difference between right and wrong? Am I where I'm meant to be?

Am I meant to be anywhere at all?

Crona's light pink hair softly rustled in the calm breeze. It was a fair day in Death City. One of the most eventful ones. It was several years later and her friends Maka and Soul had become engaged, to several peoples surprise. All of their friends, fellow students from the academy, and their families were delighted to hear the news. Soul had found much more than just his partner in life.

Everyone was to be invited and the wedding was scheduled for tomorrow, which was suppose to be even more beautiful than today. Crona sat outside alone on the balcony outside of the apartment she shared with Soul and Maka. It took quite a while to regain everyone's trust after falling back into Medusa's schemes. Black Star still didn't trust her 100% and he was very vocal about letting everyone know that.

She had achieved a level of trust where she wasn't held in the lower dungeon like rooms of the academy. After much persuading and pleading from Maka, she had convinced Soul to let Crona move in. It was such a surprise to Crona, that she had burst into tears when she had seen her new room. The tears made Soul more weary on his choice of the new roommate. She had never had a room so nice. It wasn't a large or glamorous room, there was a twin bed with a purple comforter, a desk, and a sliding door closet. Crona's favorite part of the room was not the decor, but the large window and glass door that led to a personal balcony.

The room with Medusa had a very small window and the punishment room, where Crona spent most of her childhood had no window at all and was completely dark. The room at DWMA was small and jail cell like with metal bars blocking out part of any kind of view she could hope for.

But here, these windows were spectacular. Crona could open, shut, or lock them whenever she pleased. This amount of freedom was profound. She could not be locked away in the dark anymore. During the day she loved having the windows open so the sky was always in view, no matter if the weather was bad or good. The breeze could filter in and the smell of the city and the dull sound of city life could be hear whenever she wanted,

Night time was slightly different. Night time was when she preferred to close and lock the windows. Nighttime is when she lay in bed staring in fear that in the window a snake or a silhouette would appear in front of the moon and Cronas new life would be destroyed.

After the third time of Crona sneaking into Makas room during the night, they had bought her heavy drapes to cover the windows.

Crona's eyes slowly scanned the town below her. She liked watching everyone rush to get to wherever they were going. Resting her chin in her hand, she closed her eyes and exhaled. It was rare to find moments like this. Ragnarok had become less over bearing but would still lash out whenever he wanted. While she did not care to carry on studies, her friends were normally busy with school. Crona had much less classes scheduled due to the fact that she is part weapon herself and didn't need much of those classes instruction.

Maka and Soul had finally achieved becoming a Death Scythe after 99 souls and a witch. Soul would occasionally work for Lord Death, but preferred to stay with his meister. Black Star was jealous, but still attended their celebration party in good spirits.

That was the night he proposed. It wasn't "the cool thing" to do, but he didn't care. He loved her and that was all that mattered. It would be decided that Black Star was the best man ans Tsubaki was the maid of honor.

Crona was excited for the upcoming celebration, but also confused. A wedding wasn't something she was familiar with. She was very happy for her friends and would do whatever she could to make their special day enjoyable.

"Hey" a taunting voice said to her as she felt her black blood flow near her spine.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to talk to me today" Crona responded, attempting to joke.

"What? Are you dumb? I sleep through most of the boring stuff you do. But your whole life is boring now" Ragnarok shot back. Crona shifted her eyes and furrowed her brow.

"Its not boring, we have a good life here now"

"Yeah yeah, you're the weakest I've ever seen you. We never get to do anything anymore" he argued, stretching his small back and arms "But I'm hungry now so get your scrawny ass up and make us some lunch".

Crona groaned and headed for the kitchen. She hadn't eaten yet today, but food wasn't nearly as big a deal for her as it was for Ragnarok. After years of him stealing her meals, her body had adjusted to not eating so much. After moving in, she had gain a small amount of weight but still maintained a skinny frame. After much pleading from Patty and Liz, Crona did attempt to shop for new clothes with them. Normally she would shy away from such an interaction, but Maka insisted it would be a good lesson in bonding.

Patty overwhelmed her with clothes to try on and even offered to buy, but after the 15th dress Crona was begging to come home. They settled for one new outfit. Which looked almost exactly like her normal clothes. Black boots and a long sleeved black dress. The only difference was that it was slightly shorter than the one she was familiar with and it was more loose at the bottom which allowed it to lightly flow and sway. It took getting used to, but Patty counted it as a victory.

Crona entered the kitchen and opened that fridge to grab some eggs to cook. The cool air and buzzing coolant sound greeted her as she searched for two eggs in the refrigerator. She plucked them from their cartons and lightly shut the door. She grabbed a pan down with her free hand and then sat the eggs to the side as she turned the burner on. The blue flame danced beautifully, jumping and quietly cracking before she set the pan over it.

After she finished frying and scrambling, Ragnarok was practically ravenous and began shoveling food into his mouth as soon as Crona set the plate on the table.

"You know, you could really work on your cooking too..." he spat out between bites.

"You're eating it aren't you?" Crona retorted dryly. She wasn't hungry and she knew two eggs would not be nearly enough to fill Ragnarok's bottomless pit of a stomach. She sat at the table as her partner of sorts stuffed his face.

"Whats with you today?" Ragnarok asked "You have that stupid thinking look on your face, are ya still jealous about the wedding?"

Crona's face lit up bright red as she glared at him.

"I'm not jealous" she stated strongly. Truthfully, she wasn't jealous. She wasn't sure how she felt. She did not feel romantic toward Maka, they were just close friends. Well, as close as Crona could be with another person. She was just nervous about the next step. Once they were married, would they get their own house? Where would she go? She couldn't intrude on them forever, even if Maka invited her. Crona had not been nervous about the wedding until Liz brought it up while shopping.

"You know we have to come back out shopping, you're going to need a dress to wear at the wedding" Liz informed Crona on the way home from the boutique shops.

"Yeah! Ooohh we could get you one that is pink like your hair!" Patty giggled.

"I could just wear this-" Crona tried.

"No way, this is a wedding. It's her most important day" Liz said. All three were silent for a minute. They walked past a park busy with children swinging and playing as their parents looked on.

"Not to be rude Crona, but what do you plan to do after the wedding?" Liz asked quietly.

"Well Tsubaki told me there's a reception and there will be dancing an-"

"No, I mean after the wedding. Like once Soul and Maka are man and wife and stuff. You can't live with them forever, what happens when they want to have kids?" Liz clarified as they continued on.

Cronas face whitened slightly. She had not considered that. She had not thought of what would happen if Soul and Maka wanted to move on. Certainly they wouldn't want to take care of her forever.

"I could always help...around the-"

"Do you really think you'll be good with kids? You don't want Maka to be your babysitter forever do you?" Liz asked raising her eyebrow.

Why all this focus on kids all of a sudden? Maka seemed perfectly happy with her life right now...

Even though the conversation was over a week ago, Crona couldn't shake those thoughts out of her head. It was constant noise. From those thoughts, several others stemmed off into their own twisted versions.

Did Maka pity her?

Feel like she has to take her in?

Where will she go once they move on?

Once they become a family, will they be so quick to drop her?

Ragnarok had finished his lunch moments ago and was back to pestering Crona. The hair pulling, name calling, and taunting faded in to background noise as she ignored him. She was lost in her thoughts. Lost in everything else too.

"What are you gunna cry now?" he taunted "At least you'll always have ME"

Crona stared into a space on the table, unable to shift her eyes anywhere else for fear that tears would form and fall. She sadly thought to herself:

'I will have no one else'