A/N Hello to all!!! This is my first fanfic, so please let me know what y'all think! Special thanks to debook210 for betaing this!! Check out her story, Classic Thinking. IMHO, it's a keeper.
Three days after her marriage to Anakin.
Journal,
I'm married.
But not just married, I've been married in secret to a Jedi.
Not to any Jedi though, I was married to the only Jedi, and man, who gained access to my heart: Anakin Skywalker; My husband, my joy, my love, and my darkest secret.
I know we shouldn't have gotten married, especially now. Who knows what tomorrow will reveal? I know this. However, I decided it was time. My time. His time. And our only chance, before we became consumed by our duties.
Ever since I took my first breath I have lived my life for my family and my country. I thought of them first, their needs and desires. I believed it was my responsibility. For over twenty-five years, I never questioned my purpose in life. I doubted my actions and decisions, but never did I wonder what would happen if I changed my course for my wants.
If only I could change our emotions, circumstances, and desires. We should not love each other. It is not logical. This war should not be occurring. It is not logical. We should not want, no need, to be with each other to live… yet we do love each other… the war is happening… and our desires run deep in our veins smoking out reason, logic, and sense.
Oh, Anakin, did we do the right thing? Of course, we didn't. We broke forbidden rules for love. Someday we will pay the consequences. I fear that day with all my heart. But I refuse to dwell on it, because I have been given one of the best gifts of my life: love.
Dear Anakin, you hold my heart, for all my tomorrows. All my yesterdays prepared me for you. And all my presents are freely given to your heart. This is my course. This is my destiny.
My love is my darkest secret. Now all I can do is pray it will never be revealed.
Padme Skywalker