Secrets

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the television series Arrow and I'm not making any money from this fic

Summary: Follows All Things Equal. Slade discovers Oliver's been keeping something from him

Warning(s): Spanking; spoilers for the first two seasons of Arrow; some references to violence and torture; explicit make-out scenes between two men; AU

Pairing: Slade/Oliver - slash; somewhat explicit

Slade scanned the laptop screen and sighed quietly, wondering why he was concerning himself with looking up news events that had no effect on him personally. He'd thought, more than once, about contacting his former handlers and informing them that he was still alive.

Considering he was effectively retired and now living in a different country, Slade had chosen to let them continue believing he was dead. Of course, they would have people watching his son, so when he felt ready to visit Joe, he would have to contact them then.

Slade wasn't sure how he became aware that he was no longer alone. Maybe it was his senses, long honed from the time he'd spent on the island, both by himself and with Oliver while the kid was still inept. But he glanced back over his shoulder, meeting Oliver's gaze. "Come to ask me back to bed?" Saying that brought back memories of his wife and all of the nights he'd focused on his work... to the point where he hadn't even realised how much he'd pushed her away until she'd been gone.

It was ironic that, out of all the problems facing him and Oliver, focusing on his work wasn't going to be what drove them apart.

"I thought I'd come and see what you were so engrossed in." Oliver stepped over to Slade's side. "I was like that. I wanted to update myself on everything that I had missed while I was on the island." He looked at Slade. "I know you missed out on more than I did."

"I don't need to know everything." Slade closed the laptop and stood up. He wrapped an arm around Oliver, who stepped towards him willingly, responding to the kiss Slade gave him. Slade kissed him thoroughly and then pulled back to look at him. "I know you've got an early meeting."

"I don't need much sleep."

"Kid... it's not healthy to only get a couple of hours sleep a night," Slade said. "Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should."

Oliver looked at Slade, who stared back at him with the unmoving, unyielding expression he'd perfected long ago, making it clear he wasn't going to back down on this. He'd never accepted Oliver's refusing to take care of himself on the island... and the fact that he would have enjoyed Oliver's torment at one time made him feel physically sick.

Oliver shifted a little... a small amount, but enough to indicate he'd given in. "I need to check on something and then I'll turn in."

"Why can't that wait until morning?"

"You wouldn't wait."

Oliver was right and Slade knew he couldn't hold them to double standards. There were times he thought their relationship was so fragile, one wrong move from either of them would shatter it. "You're right. I can stay up and wait for you... we could go back to bed together."

Oliver smiled, but it looked forced. "You'd be bored waiting for me. It won't take me long and then I'll join you."

"Hm." Slade was instantly suspicious that Oliver was planning something he shouldn't be... but he didn't give voice to those suspicions. He considered calling Felicity or Diggle and asking them if they knew anything he didn't; but going behind Oliver's back didn't sit right with him. He wasn't sure how he should deal with this, but if Oliver was keeping something from him, that was a personal issue they needed to deal with.

Oliver looked into Slade's eyes and then stepped closer, leaning his body against Slade's and pressing a soft, lingering kiss to Slade's mouth before saying softly, "Maybe we don't have to go to sleep... at least not straight away."

Slade held back a sigh. He'd very quickly learned that Oliver had become very good at manipulating people. He was sure that Oliver was trying to distract him.

It was working, but that wasn't the point.

Slade let his hand rest at the base of Oliver's neck as he leaned in close, kissing the other thoroughly before nipping at his lips. As he trailed kisses along Oliver's jaw line, he felt Oliver relax, turning his head to give Slade better access.

Slade moved the kisses down to Oliver's neck, sucking gently on the skin there to leave a mark. It would be hidden under Oliver's clothes, of course... but there was something about knowing that the mark was there, that he had put it there.

For a man who felt strongly the need to be in control of his own life, Slade felt Oliver limp and pliant in his arms. Oliver's chest was bare and Slade took advantage of that, working his way over Oliver's chest and stomach.

Limp and pliant didn't last for too long before Oliver was responding. He let his nails scratch over Slade's back, also bare... and then slid his hands down lower, slipping inside the waistband of Slade's pants.

Knowing that he couldn't let this distraction go on any longer, Slade let himself straighten, resting his lips against Oliver's neck. "What are you hiding?" His arms around the other man meant that he felt when Oliver grew a little tense... though his lover didn't say anything, prompting Slade to add a little more incentive by nipping his throat, teeth grazing the soft skin.

"Why is it I always feel the need to tell you things when I can resist just about everything thrown at me?" Oliver's voice was self-deprecating.

"I always expected you to tell me the truth, kid."

The sigh that Oliver gave was barely audible. "I didn't want to tell you about this. Whenever I bring up your son, you get defensive. You don't think clearly when it comes to him."

Slade tensed up and drew back from Oliver, dropping his arms. "What does Joe have to do with anything?"

Oliver took a step back, but Slade could tell that it was more to collect himself than out of any fear of Slade trying to harm him. "I've been keeping tabs on him," he said quietly. "Only to make sure he's in no danger. I have contacts that I've been touching base with."

It was difficult for Slade to stay calm. Only the thought that there'd been enough violence between them kept him from taking a swing at Oliver. "How long?" He didn't raise his voice, but it was a struggle to keep calm.

Oliver hesitated. "Since I returned from the island. I didn't know what had happened to you, but we were still friends. I wanted to make sure your son wouldn't want for anything. You helped me survive. You're part of the reason I'm still here... and why I do what I do. Protecting your family seemed the least I could do."

Slade took a deep breath. He knew that Oliver had done what he thought was right. In fact, he was grateful for Oliver's protectiveness over his son. There was someone else who cared enough to make sure that Joe was safe and Slade couldn't blame Oliver for that... or get angry with his lover for doing so.

But the issue they needed to deal with was the fact that Oliver had kept it a secret; and that he had attempted to manipulate Slade when he knew the other man was becoming suspicious.

Looking into Oliver's eyes, Slade spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm not angry with you for keeping tabs on Joe. I don't feel like I can see him right now, but knowing there's someone else looking out for him is a comfort."

"I sense there's a but coming."

"There is," Slade replied, his voice firm and serious. "You should have told me when you knew it was safe to do so. And you shouldn't have tried to distract me and manipulate me."

"It wasn't all about distracting and manipulating you."

"I know, but part of it was." Slade stepped over to sit on the couch, looking seriously at Oliver. "There's a lot of bad blood between us. We might be in a relationship, but one wrong move could completely ruin everything. There needs to be trust between us. Like there was on the island."

Oliver nodded. "I know lying has never been acceptable." He slowly walked over to Slade's side. "Do you want me to get one of my arrows?"

Slade considered for a second, but then shook his head. As important as trust was, he felt he could get his point across just by using his hand. He reached his hand out, grasping Oliver's wrist lightly and pulling him across his knees.

It wasn't difficult to pull Oliver's sleep pants down and Slade rested his arm over his lover's waist. He rested his hand on Oliver's naked backside and then lifted his hand, bringing it down hard on Oliver's right cheek in a smack that echoed dully through the room. Lifting his hand again, Slade repeated the swat on the left cheek, leaving two faint marks from his hand.

Oliver lay still over Slade's lap. His body was tense and where Slade's arm rested over his back, Slade could feel every breath in and out his lover took. When he brought his hand down again and then a fourth time, he could see the strain in Oliver's body; that the other man was holding back on his reactions.

Slade didn't tend to scold Oliver when he punished him. He figured the kid was intelligent enough to know when he was in the wrong... and he only ever scolded to drive his point home. Trust was important and Slade knew he had to drive the message home. "When it comes to a situation personal to me and you... to our relationship... we're not going to lie to each other. Or keep things from each other. And there will be no manipulating of each other, whether for distraction or other purposes." He didn't pause the hard smacks as he spoke, but at the same time, he was careful not to use too much of his strength.

He didn't want to bruise his lover.

"I know." Oliver's voice was strained, although he kept his body still, barely reacting to the swats, even though Slade knew that he was feeling them.

Slade delivered a series of swats to Oliver's sit spots and thighs and then started over from the top, using slightly more force even if he still didn't use his full strength. "I don't need to tell you that if keeping secrets that are personal to us happens again, this will too, but I'm going to anyway. It didn't have a place with us before and it doesn't now."

Oliver shifted slightly and when he spoke, there was a wet sound behind his voice that sounded suspiciously like tears. "You manipulated me too..."

"The difference is that I stopped myself." Slade moved his hand lower, beginning to deliver sharper swats to Oliver's thighs. "And I've made it clear there won't be any double standards between us." A few more swats to the tops of his lover's thighs and he felt Oliver beginning to tense up. Knowing that the other man was fighting the submission, Slade tipped him forward slightly and began swatting his sit spots.

Oliver's legs jerked... not quite kicking, but close. Slade felt his fingers grasp his ankle, clearly fighting the effects of the spanking. He'd tried doing that before, but his stubbornness had never won out over Slade's before.

Slade wasn't sure he could force Oliver into the headspace he needed to be at this time. He began talking softly to his lover, using the swats as an emphasis for what he was saying. He wasn't used to talking about his emotions, but he knew he had to make sure Oliver understood what was at stake here. "Before you came to see me in the prison, I'd given up. I don't mean I was prepared to die. It's never been in me to go down without a fight. But I was prepared to spend the rest of my life locked away. It seemed only fair, considering what I'd become. Blaming the mirakuru is an easy way out. It showed me the worst person I could be."

Oliver's breath hitched slightly, but he didn't make a sound otherwise.

Able to tell that Oliver was listening, Slade continued, "And then you came back. I thought you were foolish for doing so... still do, in many ways. But you gave me something I needed, Oliver." He hesitated. "You gave me hope. A reason to trust myself again."

"I thought you might try to kill me..." The strain in Oliver's voice was obvious.

"It was never you I hated. I was wrong to blame you for what happened to Shado. I was angry and I blamed myself. The mirakuru blew it out of proportion." Slade's hand stilled and he spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm sorry." It was easier than he'd thought it would be to apologise. Up until now, he hadn't taken that step... even though he had regretted what he'd done.

Oliver took in a deep breath that shook and then slumped across Slade's lap. His crying wasn't audible, but Slade could see the way his body trembled. He let his hand rest on Oliver's back, rubbing it gently before he carefully pulled up Oliver's pants.

It took a few moments, but Oliver finally began to push himself up. He settled on the couch next to Slade and leaned his head against his shoulder. "I thought you might leave. Pick a fight with someone."

Slade responded by wrapping his arm around Oliver's shoulders, drawing his lover in close. One hand reached up to pluck the eye patch from his face as he spoke in a quiet voice. "I'm not going anywhere." He gave a self-deprecating smile, but kept his tone serious as he added, "I told you... you're my source of hope."

Even if they were broken together.

The End