An Affair to and a Revelation
This takes place shortly after my first fanfic "A Prayer for a Second Chance." Although I would love for you to read it, it is not necessary to do so to follow this story. It does explain Jean's promise and why Lucien is still recovering in this story though.
The whole affair between Mei Lin and Alderton has never seemed very plausible to me. I just can't imagine Alderton would have been able to seduce Mei Lin if Lucien was anywhere nearby, so I decided to write a story that makes it believable in my mind. What the affair might imply about Lucien has also been bothering me as well. We can't have Jean thinking he is not up to par in certain husbandly duties, can we? I wrote this just to make it all okay in my head. I hope it's okay for y'all too. Some angst, but mostly fluff!
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Jean looked up from her latest sewing project to find Lucien staring at her again. He recovered quickly and gave her a small smile, but Jean was not fooled. At this point, she could read Lucien like a book and she saw the sadness in his eyes before he could hide it.
"What is it Lucien? Please tell me."
Lucien just leaned over the table, pulled Jean's hand to his lips and whispered, "It's nothing. There's nothing to tell Jean."
Lucien had been home from the hospital for almost two weeks. As Jean had promised him when he finally regained consciousness, she had spent every night with Lucien in his bed. He was still not well enough to do anything more than sleep, but Jean still felt like she was being rather daring. While Lucien still had some healing to do, he and Jean enjoyed cuddling and kissing until sleep claimed them. Jean was sure Lucien would throw the doctor's orders to the wind and carry things a bit further, but Jean was determined not to do anything that would jeopardize his recovery. Jean would only admit to herself that it was getting harder and harder to rebuff Lucien's advances.
Catching Lucien staring at her again brought her out of her brief reverie. Jean felt the familiar gnawing in her stomach as she thought about their future together. She quickly chided herself; she was being silly and reading too much into things. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if Lucien's recent behavior was due to a letter he received from Mei Lin earlier in the week. At first, Jean was hopeful that it held some news about the divorce. Now she was having second thoughts, and since Lucien had not spoken to her about the letter, Jean's worries only grew worse. She was sure the looks she caught Lucien giving her had only begun after that bloody letter had arrived. The longer Lucien remained silent, the surer Jean was that the letter contained bad news.
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A couple of days later, Jean found herself going through Lucien's desk drawer. He had been having an especially rough day and finally asked Jean to get him a couple of stronger pain pills. Alice had warned her that Lucien would have some bad days, so she was not particularly worried. Still, she felt her heart break a little at the thought of him being in such pain. He rarely even asked for aspirin, so she knew he must be hurting today. Jean picked up some papers to look for the pills when the top sheet caught her attention. It was the letter from Mei Lin and it was written in English! Jean's breath caught in her throat. She expected the letter to be written in Chinese, so she was surprised she could read any of the words. This was her chance to see exactly what Mei Lin had written. She was so very tempted to sit down and try to figure out why this letter had affected Lucien in the way it had; however, as strong as her curiosity was, Jean's desire to help relieve Lucien of his pain was stronger. She put the letter aside, quickly located the pills and brought them to Lucien.
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Later that evening, Jean sat on the couch, sewing a new button onto one of Charlie's shirts. The pain pills had finally taken effect, so Lucien was fast asleep in his bed. Jean smiled to herself as she thought that it was actually their bed now. Jean had cleaned the kitchen to inspection standards, polished the silver they never used, sewed multiple buttons on shirts and fixed, yet another tear in a pair of Lucien's trousers. She could not remember when he would have had the chance to do this number. He had been on convalescent leave, so this must have been one she missed from an earlier investigation. She could only shake her head. Jean could not remember a single time when she had to repair Thomas Blake's clothing, and he had been Police Surgeon for years! Now that she and Lucien were engaged, she was going to have a talk with him about being more careful in his duties with the police. Jean worried about him and he needed to be reminded that he had someone who was expecting him to come home every night, and that someone expected him to come home in one piece.
As she finished her work on Charlie's shirt, she looked around for something else to keep her mind occupied. She was trying to busy herself with errands to avoid thinking about the letter she had found earlier in Lucien's office. She had assumed it was an update on the divorce, but now she was not so sure. An update would have taken a single page, but the letter she found was much longer. What if Mei Lin was trying to woo Lucien back? Could that explain why he was looking at her with such sadness? Would Lucien actually leave Jean to go back to his first wife? It would certainly be easier on him; he would not have to worry about going through a messy divorce and it might bring his daughter back into his life. No, Jean thought, Lucien wouldn't do that to her. He loved her, she was sure of that. Nevertheless, Jean was worried and she could not get the letter out of her mind. If Mei Lin was trying to convince Lucien to come back to her, shouldn't Jean know that so she could at least put up a fight? Was she really willing to stay in the dark and possibly lose the man she loved because she wanted to be proper and respect Lucien's privacy? After all, the letter may be addressed to Lucien, but it could potentially have a big impact on Jean's life. The more she thought about it, the more Jean rationalized that snooping in this case was justified. If Mei Lin was up to something, Jean needed to know what that something was so she could put up a decent fight.
"Right," Jean said to the empty room, "It has to be done." Having made up her mind, she stood up and walked towards Lucien's study. Before going in, she cracked the door to Lucien's room to make sure he was still sleeping. She smiled at the sound of him snoring and added a silent apology for what she was about to do. Crossing the hall, she entered his study and went straight to his desk. As she picked up the pages, she noticed her hands were shaking slightly. She was much more nervous about what she was about to find out than she was about reading Lucien's mail without his permission. Deep down, she knew he would understand if she explained her motive for reading it. In the end, she decided that skimming the letter was not really reading it, and she could do that and only focus on anything that caught her eye. Her heart was hammering away so hard, she was sure it would eventually wake Lucien, so with a deep breath, she began reading Mei Lin's words.
'Dearest Lucien…Blah, blah, blah,' thought Jean as she skimmed the letter. Mei Lin thanked Lucien for helping her get home to reunite with Li and the rest of her family. She was sorry to have caused so much trouble. For some reason, this annoyed Jean to no end. As unchristian as it may be and though Jean knew Mei Lin was put into a bad position, Jean still had a hard time fully forgiving her for the role she played in a plot that could have gotten Lucien killed!
As Mei Lin went on to describe her journey home, Jean began to wonder if there was an actual point to this letter. She was just beginning to think she had gotten nervous and excited over nothing when a sentence finally caught her eye and caused her to switch from skimming the letter to actually reading it in earnest. Jean's heartbeat sped up as she realized Mei Lin was addressing the affair she had with Alderton.
"Lucien, please know that I never meant to hurt you. My brief affair with Derek was the biggest mistake of my life."
'Oh, you're just now realizing this you foolish woman!' Jean couldn't help herself. How a woman could choose someone like Alderton over Lucien, she would never understand.
Jean shook her head and continued reading. "You were away at training for such a long time. I was so lonely Lucien, and thought Derek could fill the void. We had too many drinks one night, and it just happened. It truly was the biggest mistake I have ever made. You were the only man who could have made me happy, but it took sleeping with Derek to make me realize that. I know Derek led you to believe that the affair was ongoing, but I promise it was only the one night. Derek wanted it to continue, but in all honesty, after spending one night with him, he disgusted me. I don't know why – maybe because he was also an officer and seemed so full of confidence – I thought he would be like you in bed Lucien. I thought he could make me feel like you did, but he was clumsy and selfish, and just made me feel even lonelier."
Jean knew she must have been blushing fiercely; her face felt so hot. She still could not find it in her heart to feel sorry for Mei Lin. The ever-practical Jean did not believe that one just happened to have an affair regardless of how much alcohol was consumed. Loneliness was no excuse either; Jean would wait forever for Lucien. Forever.
Despite her growing frustration, Mei Lin's hints about Lucien's prowess in bed intrigued Jean enough to continue reading.
"Lucien, I know you felt humiliated by the affair, but humiliation is the last thing you should feel. I slept with Derek out of loneliness due to your absence, not because I was unhappy or unsatisfied with you. To the contrary, you are, by far, the best lover I have ever had Lucien. I never thought I would see you again. Over the years, I have slept with more men; always searching for the pleasure you gave me. In all those years, I have never found your equal. I have never even found a close second. I don't expect you to ever forgive me for betraying you, but I hope this letter will at least ease some of the pain or angst I caused. Jean is a very lucky woman Lucien, and you are going to make her very happy."
Jean reread this last paragraph over and over again. The heat she had felt in her face had now spread over her whole body. With relief, Jean realized Mei Lin was not trying to win Lucien back. In fact, she had even wished Lucien and Jean a happy future together before signing off. Jean was still troubled though. As revealing as this letter was, it still did not explain why Lucien seemed so sad lately. If anything, Jean would have expected Lucien to walk around with a very smug look on his face after reading it. After all, wasn't the content in the last paragraph something every man would want to read about himself? As Jean put the pages back where she had found them, she decided she was just going to have to get Lucien to talk to her if she wanted to get truth out of him.
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Jean slipped under the covers, careful not to wake Lucien. She was tempted to make more noise so she could sneak a few kisses in, but she knew he needed his rest. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dark room, so she was able to study his handsome face as he slept. With all the scars on the rest of his body, Jean was still amazed he didn't have a single one above his neck. Seeing him looking so peaceful, Jean thought of all he had been through and couldn't resist inching even closer to him. She was happy to see that Lucien had gone to bed in just his pajama bottoms; she recently discovered that one of her favorite things to do was to run her hand over his chest and back and caress his scars. Although he had never said anything to her, she knew Lucien liked this too. He had made such an effort to hide his scars and had even feared they would disgust Jean, so he was secretly delighted they enamored her so much. Jean was just on the cusp of sleep when a thought floated into her mind and she was suddenly sure she knew what was bothering Lucien. If Mei Lin had not been willing to wait for him to finish a training exercise, maybe he thought Jean would not be willing to wait for him if the divorce took a long time to be finalized. He must be worried about their relationship. She was just about to mentally chide him for being so silly, when she reminded herself that she had spent the better part of the week worrying about the same thing. Well, at least she had a pretty good idea what was bothering Lucien now. She also had a good idea how she was going to get him to talk to her, so she could assure him everything would be fine. Jean sighed and was finally able to relax. As her eyelids grew heavy, Jean rested her head on Lucien's shoulder, and with her hand on his chest, drifted off to sleep.
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The next morning, Jean, Lucien and Charlie sat at the breakfast table discussing the most current case. Charlie told Lucien that everyone actually missed him around the station and they were learning just how valuable his insight and expertise were. Lucien only chuckled and said he didn't believe him for one minute. It was more likely the case that without Lucien there to take all the heat, the other officers were getting more attention than they were accustomed to. Both Jean and Charlie had a good laugh at that. Jean had made a point to be extra affectionate with Lucien throughout the morning, turning around to kiss him when he walked in to say hello (rather than just offering her cheek to him), and giving his arm a gentle squeeze when she put his breakfast in front of him. She was just trying to reassure him that she loved him and that she was not going anywhere.
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Lucien had not been cleared to return to his duties as Police Surgeon, but he had started seeing more patients as he had gotten stronger. Later that afternoon, Jean showed his last patient out, and then told Lucien she was making tea and that he should meet her on the couch. They usually had afternoon tea in his study or in the kitchen, but Jean needed to have Lucien's undivided attention. She was not letting him off the hook today; she would get Lucien to talk if it took all afternoon.
Jean was patient enough to let Lucien finish his tea before she got up and took the cup and saucer from him. Before Lucien could get up himself, Jean plopped right down on his lap and threw her arms around his neck. Looking into his eyes, she was happy to see this unusual move on her part had the desired effect on Lucien. She definitely had his undivided attention now, even if he seemed a bit shocked and puzzled to boot.
"Lucien, it's time you told me what has been on your mind all week. I am not getting off your lap until you talk to me. Keep in mind, we both just had tea, so things could get messy if you try to tell me there is nothing going on."
Jean saw the same look of sadness flash in Lucien's eyes before he looked down at her lap. He sighed as he tried to find the right words. Jean saw that Lucien was struggling to speak, so she leaned forward and kissed his forehead.
"Lucien, you do realize that we are going to actually have to communicate with one another if we want to have a happy marriage?" Jean thought that letting Lucien know that she still fully intended to marry him might give him the boost he needed to express himself. As usual, she was right.
"Jean," Lucien's voice waivered as he continued to look down, "You know I love you more than life itself." It was more a statement than a question, so Jean just kissed him softly on his forehead again, silently urging him to go on. "I just can't imagine losing you." Lucien took another deep breath and finally looked up at Jean. "What if the divorce takes longer than we think it will? What if something goes wrong and it takes much, much longer?"
Lucien was just lowering his head again when Jean quickly put her finger under his chin so she could look into his eyes. "What if it does Lucien?"
"Well, how long are you willing to wait for me Jean?" There was such desperation in his voice and a pleading look in his eyes, that Jean knew this was the question that had been worrying Lucien all week. This is what Jean had been after all along.
"Oh Lucien, you silly man," Jean said kindly, "Don't you know that I will wait as long as it takes to be your wife? Don't you know that I would wait for you forever?"
"Really Jean?" Jean smiled as she heard renewed hope in Lucien's voice.
"Really Lucien." Jean's smile widened. "Face it Doctor, you're stuck with me. "
With a look of relief in his eyes, a smile spread across Lucien's face and he pulled Jean into a long, passionate kiss. When he tried to pull away, he was surprised that Jean only pulled him closer and kissed him even more deeply. It was only the sound of the front door opening that finally broke them apart. Jean quickly slid off Lucien's lap, but stayed close enough to lean her head on his chest as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Just before Charlie walked into the room, Jean looked up at Lucien and whispered, "Forever."