Disclaimer: I don't own "Kingsman: Secret Service" or any of its characters, wishful thinking aside.
Authors Note #1: This is my second work in the fandom so I am mostly just testing the waters. This is set in a post-movie, Harry lives, Hartwin is an established universe sort of thing. – Honestly I have no excuse for myself with this one, it is complete crack.
Warnings: Light Hartwin elements, established relationship, canon appropriate violence, not brit-picked, temporary animal transformation, fluff.
As long as I'm with you (I'll always land on my feet)
Chapter One
"He's an absolute nutter 'tho, ain't he Harry," he whispered, more for personal reassurance than anything as he yanked on the loops of the chain and steel filament - something that dug painfully into his belly every time one of them breathed – tied back to back in the middle of the empty cell.
It was all a bit excessive, but anyway.
"Barking mad, I would expect," Harry returned shortly, doing something with his pinky finger that was probably illegal in some country somewhere as he tried to find some sort of weakness in the steel band they were roped with. "However I fear that fact has remarkably little to do with his capabilities in the scientific arena. Might I remind you that Valentine was beloved by the world - yourself included. A genius and well known philanthropist, yet he still managed to create and implement a plan to cull the majority of humanity?"
He winced. Then winced again when the man gave the band a particularly sharp tug. Quickly losing his impressed awe with the unspoken question of what the crap was this shit made of even? And steaming right into irritation as his squashed stomach gurgled unhappily. Moodily resigning himself to never knowing considering the first thing Professor Frederick Kerr's hired help had done was strip them down to their dress shirts. Carting away their suit jackets, pens, glasses, signet rings and all. Probably to get picked apart in the Professor's lab. Already not looking forward to that lecture from Merlin whenever he and Roxy decided to get off their asses and save them already.
Seriously, it'd been hours.
Merlin couldn't be that sore about them getting caught, could he?
Yeah, they were definitely grounded.
"True enough. But we stopped 'im didn't we? This guy ain't half as wealthy. He ain't got satellites or whatever, no friends in high places – well, maybe some birds but, eh. He just wants to save the bloody whales or whatever and-"
But whatever Harry might have had to say in response was cut off by the sound of approaching footsteps. The sound alone enough to make him shut his gob and bow his head dejectedly, the picture of youthful indiscretion and regret. Like he'd been caught driving without a licence rather than crashing a top secret benefit Kerr was putting on to raise money for his latest serum. Something he'd been privately toting as the 'answer' to all of humanities problems. Something to do with species evolution, habitat loss and human incursion into protected animal preservations. There was more, but he'd kind of stopped listening after that, distracted as he'd sipped his martini and started doing a mental tally of the guests. The rest of the presentation being a bit more than a blur as Merlin had clicked and clacked in the background. Sending him the guest's files across the lens of his glasses as soon as the facial recognition software was able to get a match.
Professor Kerr entered the room a lot like he'd last left it, with his sizable gut preceding him. Only this time he was carrying the biggest needle he'd ever seen in his sodding life and a particularly disturbing smile.
And yeah, bloody well fuck that noise.
He didn't need to crane his neck to know Harry was mirroring him. It was all in his posture. And true to form Harry was gifting the Professor and his henchmen with a look like a thunder storm and a thousand words that said I will murder you with my teeth as the group approached at a leisurely stroll.
"I was hoping we would be able to sort this out maturely – like gentlemen," Professor Kerr remarked with a sigh, doing an ambling, waddling sort of circlet around them before sinking himself down in the closest chair. Genial smile completely at odds with the ominous snap-snap of rubber gloves as the man arranged the purple latex over his wrists fastidiously.
"However, it would seem that not only are you unwilling to tell me who you are and who you work for, but that none of my databases seem to have a match for you. I can assure you I checked twice – tedious, of course, but I wanted to be sure. Seems as though you two are quite the mystery."
He eyed the needle nervously through the fan of his lashes as Kerr slipped off the cap.
Already nursing a bad feeling as the Professor smiled again, beady eyes fixed on Harry.
It was not a nice smile.
"Look mate, you've just seen too many movies, right?" he wheedled, turning up his innocent puppy expression to critical mass as he tried to keep the mad scientist's attention on him. "No harm, no foul. Just. You know, relax. Right? See? You've got us. I am sure this will all be sorted out in the morning, our boss is a reasonable man, 'innit he bruv?" he added, nudging Harry with his elbow for emphasis.
But the Professor ignored him, looking at Harry instead.
Expression sharp and irritated like the fact that he had a mouth was somehow Harry's fault.
And okay, yeah. That stung a bit. But he could roll with it.
Play the inexperienced protégée.
After all it wasn't that far off the mark and Harry made this sort of daddy shite come easy.
"I can assure you this will be a very grave mistake," Harry told him, voice brilliantly rock-steady as he fixed the man with an impatient glare. Acting like the needle and whatever impending doom it contained simply didn't exist as he tried to stall for time. Working their cover right to the end as the syringe glowed honey-tan under the overhead lights.
"My employer sent us here to acquire intel on your discovery. This is corporate espionage. Let the courts deal with it. Or better yet, you with my superiors. Keep things quiet for the sake of stock prices and public relations, hmm?"
"And deprive me of the perfect chance to test my latest formula on an outside source?" Professor Kerr chortled into his beard. Like really, who even did that outside of old novels and bad telly? "I think not."
"Besides, examples must be made. Businessman to businessman I am sure you understand," the Professor continued, inspecting the needle for any irregularities as he tapped the sides with a smart little rap-rap.
"Quite," Harry returned crisply in a way that made it clear he meant no such thing. Staring – from what he could tell, determinedly at the opposing wall - as Goon #2 ripped the button on Harry's shirt sleeve clear off. Yanking the blue pin-stripes all the way up to the elbow as Goon #3 dotted at a patch of skin with an alcohol-soaked cotton swab.
Oh yeah-
It was official.
Harry was absolutely going to castrate this lot.
"Now, do hold still, I wouldn't want to miss the vein. Especially not with this needle," the professor murmured, wide fingers curling around Harry's wrist in a way that made his gorge rise. Something that made that part of him – of them – the part they always put away for missions – light up a radiation detector in Fukushima.
It left him pretty much exactly where he'd started. With something shrilling and broken in the back of his mind – screaming like a done-over kettle. Not Harry. Not again. He couldn't lose him like this. Or ever. No way. After everything they'd been through, this couldn't be-
"It's an accelerated formula. I won't lie. It won't be pleasant, but you can't say you didn't bring it on yourself," Professor Kerr admonished, bringing the needle up – hovering – as the entire world seemed to still. Then- just fucking snap.
"Oy! You freak! Don't you fuckin' touch him!" he hissed, struggling against their bonds as Harry breathed sharply out of his nose. Not quite an admonishment, but close enough as the steel band that held them tightened another suffocating fraction.
"Michael," the professor said with sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose like the fact that they were even breathing the same air offended him. "Please teach our young friend that silence is a virtue, hmm?"
And so, that was how Michael, also known as Goon #1, walloped him one right in the face the same time the needle broke skin on Harry's forearm.
He blinked, shaking his head. Letting himself reel with it as he tasted the iron tang of his own red as it rolled down from what he sincerely hoped wasn't a broken nose. Vaguely aware that Harry was saying something to Professor Kerr - a handful of words as the needle plunger slowly sank down and down and down and the line of Harry's back grew more and more rigid against his.
Holy hell that guy could punch.
"For the sake of your young...friend. I do hope your genes aren't predisposed to be predatory rather than benign," the Professor hummed, looking quite pleased with himself as he withdrew the needle with a muted flourish.
"Such a clever thing this serum. It is revolutionary, of course. World changing. It is a pity neither of you will be around to see it. Well, one of you likely, if all goes well. But certainly not in a position to appreciate it – academically speaking."
What the hell did he mean by that?
"But as for you? Frankly, I am not convinced," the professor added as he levered himself out of the chair and fixed Harry with a nasty, anticipatory sort of look. "You look to me like a dangerous man. Ah well, that's natural selection for you. Nature is not a kind mother after all. She is fair, but brutal. More of a role model than a nourisher. I firmly believe it is the sort of pragmatism we should all strive to achieve perhaps."
Shite.
They were pointedly silent as Kerr waddled off, goons in tow. Taking stock of themselves, their surroundings and their situation as the door slammed closed. Counting not one, but three separate deadbolts and some sort of electronic lock that whined like a dying frequency before clicking into place. Aware that the multiple concealed cameras – all placed in strategic corners all over the room – were whirring into readiness. Blinking red for the first time since they'd noted them, only a few seconds after they'd been shoved into the room in the first place.
"Well, that was dramatic," Harry quipped eventually, when the echoes of the group's footsteps had faded off into nothing and they were left with the half-dark and their own thoughts once again.
"You alright then?" he asked cautiously. Feeling a lot like he was about to sprain something as ill-placed adrenaline sung off-key and wilted in his veins. "Don't feel off or nothin'?"
"It's a bit early to tell either way, I am afraid my dear," Harry returned, not seeming to realize the endearment had slipped through as he rolled his wrist experimentally. Exhaling through his nose in a concentrated rush that made him think of breathing exercises and too high heart rates.
So, nothing good at any rate.
And, as if Harry could read his thoughts, the man only smiled, back pressing warm and firm against his before he spoke. "Besides, if I was half this easy to do away with, we would have never had the pleasure of meeting."
And yeah, that was a point.
But still-
The rest happened suddenly.
Like snapping your fingers or being involved in a rear-ender.
From one moment to the next, everything went from bad to fuckin' nuclear.
He was eying the camera and the two-way mirror directly opposite when Harry suddenly bent double. Shuddering minutely – like he was trying to hold it back - from where he was tied up behind him. Body giving off a wave of rippling heat he could actually feel as the man inhaled sharply.
"Harry?"
He craned his neck, trying to catch the man's eye as a mess of dark hair shadowed his face, masking his expression. But the line of his jaw, clenched vise-like and twitching told him all he needed to know.
"Harry? Fuck…what's wrong, is it-"
He twisted, ignoring the steel band as he tried to inch his away around in his seat. Wishing more than ever that he had a hand free. Wanting to touch. Soothe. As the man let go of an agonized groan.
"Eggsy-" Harry rasped, inflections uneven - breathing so hard that the words themselves were almost lost. Forcing each one out like it hurt before the shadows shifted and suddenly he was looking into unfamiliar eyes. Animal and overlarge with irises that were completely expanded in the low-dark. Drowning out tawny-tan when he knew like breathing that Harry's eyes had always been the lightest brown.
"Do what- you have to. Don't let me- not again. Not you. I-"
A frisson of fear arced through him as Harry's head dropped back against his shoulder, throat bared and rippling. Every muscle pulled tight and weirdly in flux before a slurry of weird, questioning little chirps – sounds no human mouth was ever meant to make – escaped from behind clenched teeth.
"Harry, look at me!"
And he did, head snapping up between pants. Shoulders hunched and twisting as the line of his shirt grew damp with a thick, clammy sweat that smelled like the first drop of water before a harsh desert rain. Showing sharp teeth flirting with blackening lips and-
But before he could do much else, a subtle clicking in the eaves was all she wrote before the vents in the office flipped and knockout gas flooded the room.
A/N #1: Thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think! Reviews and constructive critiquing are love! – There will be two more chapters, stay tuned.