Joker never looked more unhappy to have one of his suggestions taken to heart, and the more he pouted, the more Shepard laughed. With the defeat of her clone—which was, to say the least, creepy—the Normandy's pilot suggested they use Shepard's new apartment as a place to party. Shepard had leapt at the chance; it was a good way to get her crew together, and an even better excuse to celebrate the upcoming holiday.

And maybe, just maybe, to see her alien counterparts' reactions to human traditions.

Liara had always found things like this interesting. The asari had such a thirst for knowledge that it was frightening. If anyone was bound to get some entertainment out of the evening, it was definitely Liara.

But poor Garrus? Oh no. That was another matter altogether.

The former vigilante was stout-hearted, brave, and one of the fiercest warriors Shepard knew. He'd been by her side through everything—Saren and his geth, the Collectors, and now this, the Reapers. He was everything to her, and despite how much she loved him, Shepard couldn't help exploiting–happily–his awkwardness.

For everything Garrus was on the battlefield, he couldn't help being shy and awkward in more...personal affairs. Sure, he was sarcastic and witty enough to cover it up, but when it came to human traditions, he was helpless. Shepard had attempted to explain Halloween to him a few months prior; it hadn't gone over well. At first, he'd wondered at the point of small children running around and knocking on strangers' doors for treats. Then he'd wondered what possessed their parents to buy them costumes so they could pretend to be monsters.

And once she had explained that sometimes couples would dress up in sexy costumes for each other, he'd done the turian equivalent of coughing before rapidly changing the subject. They'd only been together once, and since then, they'd both been too busy to study the other's species with any depth. Shepard was still trying to figure out what the hell the point of their subharmonics were, or the fringes on the backs of their legs.

So she was betting this horrible attempt of hers at a Christmas party would be hilarious. Yesterday, she had messaged her crew members another crewmate's name, told them to get that person a present. It was her hastily done secret Santa, and would probably end up a bigger mess than the party was supposed to be.

But dammit, she was going to celebrate a holiday with her family for once, and not even the Reapers were going to stop her from enjoying herself.

"Wrap it?"

He sounded skeptical, and glanced at her for help, but Shepard just laughed as Kaidan sighed. "Y'know, wrapping paper. This...stuff." The biotic gestured at the dark blue paper concealing his gift for Tali. "It makes it a surprise."

"Why would you want it to be a surprise?" Garrus demanded. "It's a surprise that we even did this."

"Because... I don't know! That's just how it's done."

Garrus stared Kaidan down for a moment, and then flared his mandibles. "What if your enemy wrapped a grenade and left it as a present? Then what?"

That stopped Shepard fast. "I think you'd be able to tell if it was a grenade, Garrus."

"In a box!" he protested.

Kaidan exchanged glances with Shepard, who was trying her best to not start laughing again, and just shook his head. "This is why you don't do...whatever it was you were trying to do here."

She smirked. "You don't think it's funny?"

"Well..." He trailed off with the hint of a grin on his lips, and then shrugged. "Maybe. But it's unfair. Garrus is too serious. Tali's confused and embarrassed, and Javik is...er...Javik." He scratched the back of his head a little nervously before shrugging again. "Then there's Wrex and Grunt. That's a problem waiting to happen."

"Javik is more serious than I am," Garrus said, sounding a bit defensive.

Kaidan waved the comment aside. "Debatable. But anyway..." He smiled pleasantly as he said, "Merry Christmas, Commander. You too, Garrus."

She returned the sentiment before he headed for the kitchen. For several long moments, her and Garrus sat quietly on the couch. Her feet were kicked up on her coffee table, and Garrus was lounging with an arm across the back, his thumb resting on her shoulder. It was the best they could do without being too forward, but it was the closest they'd been able to get in a while.

"He's not looking, is he?" Garrus whispered.

"Who? Kaidan?"

He nodded, so she leaned back to look for him. When she decided he was too busy with Cortez and Vega, she said, "No, he's...arguing about something with the guys. Why?"

Garrus leaned forward and grabbed a rectangular box wrapped in silver foil. He passed it to her as he said, "Don't tell him I wrapped it."

Her brows shot up in surprise. Truth be told, she hadn't expected a gift, not even from her human friends. "Secret Santa," she had said. "Get your giftee something for the party tomorrow." She'd never even stopped to consider getting something for herself.

"Garrus—"

"I looked it up. Santa," he explained. "And when I realized you probably weren't going to get anything, I figured I'd do it."

"So...what? Don't tell me you spent all night reading about Christmas and stupid Earth celebrations." He laughed, sounding guilty, and her eyes widened as she grinned. "Oh, you did, didn't you?"

"I wasn't getting ambushed like last month."

"Uh-huh," she said suspiciously. After a second to debate about it, she added, "I take it you want me to open this now? So Kaidan doesn't tell you off for not wrapping Liara's present?"

"Please," he begged.

She laughed before sliding her thumb under the paper. Whatever it was, it was surprisingly heavy, and surprisingly well wrapped. For his helplessness when it came to Halloween, Garrus seemed to take to Christmas. Or at least, the wrapping gifts portion. It made her jealous; Shepard had never been good at it, and that was evidenced by the poorly wrapped mini basketball hoop she'd gotten for James. It was in a box similar to the one she was holding now and it was a mess.

Once she'd thrown the paper aside, she was left with a plain cardboard box, and she gave Garrus a good long sideways glance before opening it. Inside was a model Normandy, protected by styrofoam corners and bubble wrap, but the paint was still obvious through the padding.

"You needed one," Garrus said quickly. "For your collection. I know you have a model of the SR-1, but you needed an SR-2." The "it's a better ship" seemed like an afterthought, and she laughed.

Shepard folded the corners back in and set the ship model beside her leg as she smiled at him. "Thank you for thinking of me."

He visibly relaxed as he realized she liked the present. "You're welcome," he said, mandibles flaring in that trademark smirk of his. "And, uh, merry Christmas?"

Another laugh escaped her lips before she settled against his shoulder. "Merry Christmas, Garrus."