Author's Note: Good 2012 afternoon, all. So, I have HOUSE fics that haven't been touched in ages. I've had little to no muse for the fandom for the longest time (can you blame me? I mean, really?) but watching the marathon of episodes when it was still good gave me a bit of a jolt. Hopefully, this oneshot can lead to inspiration for Collide and Mosh Pit. And even if it doesn't, it's still a good start for SSS 2012. Enjoy and congratulate me on making it into another year in one piece.

Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"

"I paged three of you. Why am I only looking at you and the overly coiffed kangaroo?" Dr. Gregory House demanded tersely.

Before Eric Foreman could answer his question, the glass doors opened and he could feel what was left of his heart start to race. She removed her long leather coat, revealing a shimmering purple dress. It was sleeveless and tight up top before flaring out around her thighs. Pearl white stiletto heels matched the fan in her hand and she took out the black lacquered chopsticks holding her hair up. When the honey colored mane tumbled free, a scent of clover and honeysuckle slapped him in the face and sent a fissure of heat straight to his groin.

"Have a good time at the Ball, Cinderella?" he snarked as he turned towards the whiteboard.

"Mostly. I was about to get a guy to drink out of my glass slipper when I got your page. What's wrong with the patient now?" Dr. Allison Cameron replied as she joined him in front of it.

On a chain around her neck was a Celtic knot ring that had been made into a pendant. Probably her old wedding ring. Why she'd keep it was beyond him. After all, the guy had been terminal and worm food before he could even give her a proper fuck. Plus, he had broken her fragile little heart. If he were her, he would've chucked the damned thing in the nearest body of water…

"Um, did some sushi land in my cleavage or are you just staring to be staring like you usually do?"

Blue-grey eyes looked up at him with deep amusement and he could hear the Wombat snickering with Thug Life in the background.

"No sushi and there's not much to stare at anyway."

"True. The best addition to my wardrobe is and will always be the Wonderbra. I'm going to go check his vitals and maybe take some more blood." she replied cheerfully, shrugging on her lab coat.

"Why? I didn't tell you to."

"Yeah but if we're going to figure out what's wrong with him, one of us has to figure out what isn't. Since Chase is too busy with his puzzle and Foreman's dead on his feet, I'm the only one who can at the moment. Unless you'd like to start the much hyped zombie apocalypse and do it yourself?"

House couldn't help but smirk at that. It seems like his Lobby Art had finally gotten some sass in her giddy-up…

"You get snippy after 11PM. Good to know. Go forth and do and try not to give the guy a heart attack."

She actually rolled her eyes and after turning on the coffee maker, practically sashayed out the door.

"What the bloody fuck's gotten into her?"

Although he'd never admit it out loud, Wombat Boy actually asked a very good question.

/

"Cameron?"

"Hey, Wilson. Pulling an all nighter, too?"

"Uh…yeah. Did House see you looking…like you're looking?"

"I was out at that new fusion club. You know the one where you can eat Japanese and dance the salsa at the same time? I didn't have time to go home and change when he summoned me."

She chuckled as Dr. James Wilson blushed at being caught so easily and continued eating a surprisingly tasty breakfast platter. The patient's blood wouldn't be ready for another hour and the former track star was stable so she decided to refuel a bit. Besides, once she got back upstairs, she'd have to deal with the consequences of her impulsive fencing with House. Normally, she just let him snark without protest but after the Date, she had decided to toughen up a bit for her sanity

There was no longer any room for denial when it came to her feelings for him. Water was wet. Fire burned. Crack killed. Allison Cameron was stupid in love with the irascible Gregory House. It was a simple fact of life and even if she went off and found someone else (all she'd have to do is snap her fingers and a certain Australian would be there in less than a blink of the eye), the feelings would still be there, eventually destroying the relationship. In order to avoid all that drama, she had decided to keep her focus on other matters until she could move on.

Or until House made a move. There was a distinct possibility that he would. After all, the way he had been looking at her lately reminded her of a predator on the prowl. She had screwed up on that stupid Date but she wasn't out of the running. He just needed to move at his own pace and turn his bitter brain off long enough to listen to what was left of his heart. Knowing the aforementioned bitter brain, it would be a while and even though many would see her as pathetic, she was willing to wait…

"I'm sorry. I know how you feel about him so I figured…"

"I'd show up all gussied up and snipe at him until he bent me over the nearest solid object? Nah. That's more Cuddy's method than mine. Although, I totally caught him checking out my boobs earlier."

"House does that with every woman."

"Mm but he's never been that obvious with me. Either he's out of hooker money for the week or he's a lot more attracted to me than he lets on."

The oncologist cracked up and stole some of her hash browns, making her wing a packet of ketchup at his head between giggles.

Neither of them noticed the glaring Diagnostician from the doorway.

/

Of course. She's been all buddy-buddy with Jimmy for weeks now and now that he's free from Harpy #4, he's looking for someone to love the self inflicted hurt away…

She could've done that for you and more if you hadn't been such a dick to her. As long as Wilson doesn't marry and cheat on her, he'll make her happy. Happier than you ever could…

House growled softly and turned his iPod up to full volume, trying to get his mind off of her and back to the puzzles where it belonged. Apparently she had a change of clothes lying around someplace because she had on a knee length green sweater dress, black leggings, and a pair of well worn black sneakers. He could see that she had taken off the pendant and realized that she only wore it when she wasn't at work. Probably trying to protect herself from him like everyone else did…

But, wasn't she supposed to be in love with him? Everyone had said she was. Wilson had said she was but he had probably changed her mind about that by now. The Boy Wonder could be rather charming when he put his mind to it and Cameron liked the lame, sweet stuff that he was capable of. As far as he knew, Cameron hadn't gotten laid even once since she started working for him (...waiting for you, dumbass!) and even teddy bears from grandma had itches to be scratched.

The idea of her scratching those damned itches with someone other than him pissed him the fuck off to no end. And he couldn't even be that pissed at her. After all, he had been pushing her away from the beginning, demeaning and disrespecting her just to keep his own skin intact. Hell, he had even desecrated the memory of Cancerous Worm Food without batting an eye. If she had yelled at him or slapped him, he wouldn't be feeling guilty about it still.

She had just looked at him with so much hurt, so much disappointment…shit, not even his rat bastard dad could rattle him like this! Why the hell was Cameron so special?

Because she could easily become the great love of your miserable waste of a life, that's why. Stacy and you were a time bomb and no amount of hot sex would make you not want to drive your car through Cuddy's living room after a month or two…no, Cameron? Cameron's different and right for you and way too fucking good for you, which is why you're going to have to sit there and watch her hook up with Wilson…or the Wombat. God knows he's had a semi for her since Day 1…

Oh shit, she's dancing…

She had the same idea as he had and was absorbed in her iPod. There might be some Latin music on it because her hips were certainly moving like there was. Foreman had gone to treat the finally diagnosed patient but the Wombat was watching her like she was about to get on a pole. Cameron on a pole…

Cameron in his bed…

Cameron in Wilson's bed…where she didn't belong…

Many people called him an uncaring, selfish prick and House tended to agree with them. He was a son of a bitch, someone who put his wants and needs above everyone else, especially those who bothered to give a damn about him. He already knew that he was going to Hell so he was determined to wring every bit of pleasure out this fucked up world before the Big Burn.

So, when he came into the Conference Room, grabbed her by the hair, and plunged his tongue deep into her mouth, nobody should've been shocked. What surprised him was how hungrily she responded, pushing them back until they hit the glass wall with a bang, her fingers in his hair, her teeth on his lower lip…

"House!"

She pulled away panting like a winded horse and he looked at an apoplectic Cuddy with heavily lidded eyes.

"What?"

"W-What the hell do you think you're doing? What the hell do you both think you're doing?"

"Kissing with lots of tongue. It's all the rage in Europe." he deadpanned.

Cameron's face was pinker than pepto but her voice was firm as she said, "If you're going to fire someone, fire us both. I wanted it just as much as he did."

Wait, she did? What about…oh…oh, fuck…

She looked at him and shook her head with resigned disgust.

"Let me guess: you saw me with Wilson this morning and thought we were together so you decided to limp over here and kiss me like you should've months ago. Unfortunately for you, I'm not dating him and your jealousy was wasted. Look, you're not stupid. You know how I feel about you. Everyone does and furthermore, why the hell would I get tangled up with someone else if I'm already in love with you? Do you think I'm that much of a slut?"

"I don't think you're a slut." he protested weakly, his mind reeling at the implications of her statements and actions.

"But you were jealous. Why? You've made it quite clear that you don't want or even like me. I'm not yours. If I wanted to, I could date, kiss, and screw anyone I please. But, I haven't. Think about that. I'm going home for the weekend. Dr. Cuddy, if I'm fired or reprimanded, please let me know via email."

And away she went, leaving him even more confused than ever.

/

Well, I may be unemployed but at least I got one good taste of him. Granted, it could've been a lot more private and in a bed but I'll take what I can get…

Actually, she was pretty sure that she wasn't unemployed but since it was good for her self pitying mood, she kept up the line of thought. After walking through a shocked hospital (PPTH's gossip network was faster than light), she had gone out and picked up a large Hawaiian pizza, two gallons of Chunky Monkey, and some of the boxed wine she had drank in college. After her comfort feast and half of the box, she had decided to top off the clichéd miserable night in with a bubble bath. She had broken out the bath salts, the "soothing lavender" oil, and turned on the jacuzzi jets, leaning back against the marble.

I wonder if I should just drown myself, right now. It would certainly top having to face him Monday…damn, what the hell was I thinking?

You weren't thinking, princess. You were feeling so you went at him like an extra in Bikini-a-Go-Go, the Director's Cut. Was it worth it, Allison? Sure, you got your one good taste and yes, you managed to stand up for yourself for the first time in god knows how long but was it worth it? Even if Cuddy doesn't fire you, House is certainly not going to let this die…

As if the voice in her head decided to provide visual aids, she opened her eyes to see House in her bathroom doorway, her box of wine in his hand.

"What you lack in quality, you make up for in creativity. A crazy bendy straw, Cameron?" he asked while letting the purple tip slip into his mouth.

"If I used glasses, I'd end up washing dishes for the rest of the weekend. Just how the hell did you get in here?"

"I told your Super that it was a medical emergency and I needed to fill you as soon as possible."

"Don't you mean fill me in?"

"Nope.", he replied cheerfully, popping the 'P-sound' in the word. "Room for two in there?"

"No matter what I say, you're going to get in this tub, anyway and we both know it. Take your drugs and put them someplace safe because I'm not giving you any more ammunition to treat me like crap."

She took a deep breath and slid under the surface of the warm water, soothed by the silence. After a minute, the water was disturbed in front of her and soon House was looking at her with unreadable eyes. He pointed upward and they surfaced at the same time. He looked really good wet and he was surprisingly muscular. After all, with his debauched lifestyle and the fact he was pushing precariously close to 50, she had expected him to be on the skinny/bony side.

"I guess that's another thing I was wrong about today. There's plenty to stare at." he leered while looking at her floating breasts.

Her hands moved to cover them but she stopped herself immediately. It was a little too late for modesty now, anyway…

"Is there a reason you've come to terrorize my home?"

"I need to talk to you about earlier."

"You want to forget it ever happened."

"Hell no, I don't. That's why we need to talk."

"You suck at talking."

"And you suck at falling for correct men. First the Cancer guy and now me? You're setting yourself up to be miserable."

"Probably. Look, I've made my position painfully clear to you. I like you. I actually love you, despite all current laws of reality and my common sense. What happens now is up to you. Hand me my shampoo. It's the green bottle."

He held it out to her and when she reached forward to grab it, a strong arm wrapped around her waist, dragging her back against him roughly. Cameron let her nails grip his shoulders and threw her head back as he latched onto her pulse point. Normally, she didn't like it when men got all rough and tumble with her but when House did it…that's what triggered her response earlier. He had grabbed her by the hair like a rutting caveman and taken what he wanted. Her inner feminist had railed at the move and urged her to top it, hence her damn near using him as a battering ram…

And all the while, I was dripping like a ripe orange. God, I'm so fucked up, it's not even funny!

She gripped his scalp and initiated another round of desperate kissing, moving to straddle his throbbing cock.

"This…isn't…talking…" she muttered between kisses.

"I…shit…suck at talking…" he gasped as she nibbled on his earlobe. "Protection?"

"Depo-shot."

"Wonderful. This...is…a…this is a bad idea."

'T-the worst." she agreed as he massaged her hips.

"...probably will fuck it up and hurt each other…" he mumbled around her nipples.

"Most likely." she cooed as she toyed with the hairs on the nape of his neck.

"Do you care?"

"Not even a little bit. Fuck me."

"With pleasure."

Their combined screams could probably be heard all the way in Times Square.