Author: mecha_hunter

Title: It's a Cold Cold War

Pairing: Implied past RusAme?

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. Slight warning though, America does imply something towards Ukraine.

A/N: This came about cuz my bae showed me a text post on tumblr and this was born.


"Hey, Russia!"

"…America." Alfred gave an obnoxious laugh at the hostility in the Russians voice and gave him a hard smack on the back. The smack echoed through the hall way, just right outside the meeting room.

The other countries gave the two super powers a wide birth, already sensing the danger lurking between the two. Ever since the Cold War started, Russia and America had been at each others throats. There was never a meeting that didn't end in blood shed and it looked like it was about to start.

"So, buddy. When you gonna stop being such a commie and embrace my capitalism?" The larger nation rose his eyebrow and threw a heavy arm across the Americans shoulder. He made sure to grip the opposite shoulder tight to keep the other from escaping.

"Why, America. It sounds like you are asking me for a sexual favor. I think you call it…a hand job, da?" Ivan could feel the other tense up at his question and try to pull away. It was no use and he made sure to keep his grip on the blond painfully tight. Alfred's smile turned into a pained grimace, but he snaked his arm around the taller ones waist and squeezed hard in retaliation.

It was a game the two played, but neither ever truly won unless you went by who did the most damage. America had lost the last time and wasn't looking to repeat that. The commies face had a date with his brass knuckles and he wasn't going to miss that.

The American rubbed his chin with us other hand and gave Ivan a wink. "Naw man, I don't need someone psychotic like you when I can just have your sweet sister-" Alfred wasn't able to finish his sentence, cut off by the arm around his shoulder curling in and crushing him against the others chest. Both of his arms were pinned and he now had no access to his brass knuckles.

America looked up into icy purple eyes, knowing it would take a lot to get out of this death embrace.

A slow, cruel smile spread across the Russians face. "America, you probably should re-think what you said." It was creepy when Russia used his high pitched 'I'm innocent' voice.

"Wow man. Maybe you're the one that needs that hand job, you got yourself all worked up now!" Unfortunately for Alfred, he never backed down from a challenge. Even when it was slowly choking the life out of him. Especially if it was a giant stupid commie wanting to take over the world. An experimental wiggle yielded no results. Just because there's inhuman super strength on his side, didn't mean the Russian bastard was no laughing matter in the strength department.

Alfred could see the triumph in Ivan's eyes as he realized his 'prey' couldn't get away. He was determined and still had a few tricks up his sleeve. So, the American relaxed his body and pushed up against the Russians. Making sure to get his face as close to the other males as possible.

He made sure to look up through his eyelashes at the Russian and ghost his lips over the others. "My dear, sweet Ivan. When are you going to accept that I'm right and you're wrong? I know you've been dying to have me again. This all could end if you just agree to my terms." Having said his piece, the blond pressed his lips insistently against the taller nations.

There was a moment where we didn't think his plan had worked, until pale, cold lips pressed back against his, just as needy.

The grip on America loosened and became a bit more intimate. One hand came to cradle the back of his head and the other, slipped down to his lower back. This gave him back the mobility of his arms and Alfred didn't waste a second.

The next thing Russia knew, he was flat on his stomach with America standing over him, boot grinding into his back, laughing madly.

That was normal, what wasn't normal was when green paper started to float across his vision. It took a few seconds, but Ivan recognized it as the blonds money. A truly maniacal laugh sounded above him and the last thing he heard before the blood lust took a hold of him was, "The power of Capitalism compels you!"


A/N: Short, I know. I love this pairing though, so much you can do with them.