A/N: Hey, name's Soren! I've got a thing for humanized AUs and Paper Mario. If you share that, you might enjoy this. But then you may not! Either way, if you give it a read I hope you get some enjoyment from it and I'll be updating as often as I can. Well, here's hoping!

Eyes on Rogueport- Prologue

He practically lived at the office.

That considered, it was lucky Goombario had shelled out the extra money to pay for a suite with a small restroom connected. Because when he woke to the sun blaring into his eyes from the window, he could just roll off the couch, in his disheveled attire from the day before, and go to the bathroom to dig out his shaving kit and start the morning.

His wavy brown hair was sticking out all directions in a wild battle of bedhead. He combed it down. Shaved his heavy five o' clock shadow off of his darkly tan chin and cheeks, rubbed sleep out of his blue eyes. Brushed his teeth and his sharp lower fangs to rid himself of morning breath. He would need to file the tusks down again soon- usually sharp tusks on a goomba were a warning of an aggressive personality, at least in older traditions. And Goombario was...well, not very old fashioned, but...still, it was something he was used to doing.

There was little he could do for the navy button down and gray slacks. He didn't feel like driving home to get a change of clothes. Oh, well. He was self employed anyway- no need to impose a dress code when he was the boss. Now, where were his shoes?

Goombario Goomzales- Rio to his friends and family- had been an adventurer of sorts for ten years now. It had started when he was thirteen, barely a man by his family's standards. The world had fallen into peril- again- at the hands of Bowser Koopa- again. Its many times hero, Mario, had somehow ended up on bedrest nextdoor to Rio's family. Once healed, though, and even more strangely, he had enlisted Rio's help to rescue their country's Princess, the Star Spirit deities, and the Star Rod from Bowser.

Rio hadn't questioned it, not out loud. An adventure was an adventure, and that was all he had ever wanted out of life, to see the world and to help people. And in a world where it was considered a common path to do so, his family had been fairly encouraging of his choice to leave on a journey with the famous Mario Mario.

And Rio did have many useful abilities- a higher than average intellect, a stellar memory, and a stunning eye for detail. But the past was the past, and life had returned to normal for a time after his adventure with Mario concluded. But after his final year of schooling, Rio set off to make something of himself on his own.

Moving to Mushroom City, the largest city in the Mushroom Kingdom, was a bit of a culture shock. Toad Town, the nation's capital, could be considered moderate in size at best, and while Goombario had been there regularly, it never compared to the hustle and bustle of the metropolis he found himself renting a studio apartment and small office in. But he managed to adjust, and before long he was accepting his first small case as a private investigator and mediator.

Things weren't without their flubs and foibles at first, of course. Some cases were silly, tedious, mediocre. Others were so simple he wanted to shout, others so needlessly complicated he wanted to cry. But they paid the bills, and many allowed him to travel, and many more allowed him to genuinely help people in need.

And now, he thought as he closed the blinds to block some of the overbright sun, he had a larger office, a seemingly huge client base, and a well known name. Nothing compared to the household moniker that was Mario's but in certain circles, he was a first recommendation. That was something to be proud of, wasn't it?

Headache. He rubbed his temples- he needed a coffee. Something warm and rich and fragrant, creamy and a little sweet. There was a shop around the corner from the office building that sold the best mushroom crepes he'd ever had and made a great maple macchiato, and...

And there was a rap on the door. Client. Coffee would have to wait. Rio shuffled up some loose papers from the floor and went to sit behind his desk, turning on the lamp there to brighten up the now dimmed room.

"Come on in." He called. The door opened.

Two beefy men with large noses walked in. Dressed in neatly pressed suits and sunglasses with green hair in topknots- the hair itself looked very organic, leafy like feathergrass- pegging them as piantas. Goombario had worked with some before, but they had been tourists from the Delfino Isle area, dressed much more casually, and they had put out a much less threatening vibe.

He simply laced his fingers together and set his chin on them. He was a short man at barely five foot six, but height had never been any reason to worry about things in his mind. Tall or beefy or whatever, he wouldn't fear these men unless they gave him a valid reason.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" he asked as they approached the two chairs across from his desk and sat.

One of the men spoke up. "You, eh, got any coffee? Been a long boat ride from Rogueport, mac."

Rogueport? So, that solved the mystery of where they'd come from, but that was a long ways from Mushroom City. Had Goombario's name really stretched that far in the investigative community? He doubted it, really, but...

"I was just about to make some when you came in. Wait just a tick." He said pleasantly.

Once there there were three hot mugs of coffee on the desk, the other pianta male took a long sip and launched into an explanation of what he and his friend were doing there.

"As my pal Vinny told ya," he quipped, "We come from the luxurious city of Rogueport."

Vinny laughed bitterly there.

"Anyway, we work for the very much esteemed Don Pianta. You heard of 'em?"

"Of course." Rio nodded. Don Pianta was a big name in the mafia world, and in his line of work he had dealt with that side of the law plenty of times now. That caused even further questions to arise, though- what was a kingpin of the underworld doing looking for help from a private investigator? He decided he should ask as much.

"And he wants my help?" when he received a nod, he took a sip of his coffee. "...why?"

Vinny and Not-Vinny took a long look at each other.

"Ya see, the Don's daughter, she's got a husband and a little tyke, Franky Junior." started Vinny, "And recently they been getting' anonymous threats on her and Junior, sent to our very respected boss."

Rio's brow furrowed at the thought. Someone using family to blackmail people made him sick, even in concept.

"And so the Don wants you," Vinny pointed at him with a thick finger, "To find out who, and bring him in so we can put a stop to it."

Rio laced his fingers and set his chin on them again. This sounded like work meant better for a bounty hunter than for him, so he was feeling reluctant. The only thing that tilted it more in his direction at all was that the perpetrator was a mystery, and that probably wouldn't be too hard to solve- it was Rogueport, after all, the Don was bound to have lots of enemies, but only a few would have the guts and slime enough to go after family or use them as leverage.

"That's...a lot of traveling..." Rio said to start.

"All ya expenses are taken care of." Not-Vinny said seriously. Rio nodded and looked pensive.

"Say I do take this job," He offered, "What are you going to do with the perpetrator when I bring him or her in?"

Vinny and Not-Vinny looked at each other, and barked a laugh in unison.

"You think you got a choice?" Not-Vinny asked.

"Hilarious!" Added Vinny.

"When Don Pianta wants your help, you help Don Pianta. That's the way it works." Not-Vinny said, sliding an envelope across the table, "Theres your transportation fees and itinerary. Ya better go and pack, runt."

Goombario picked up the envelope and stared at it with mouth agape. They were threatening him? Unbelievable. He could take these two on, surely- he was much stronger and scrappier than anyone ever gave him credit for- but he would likely also end up with even more mafia thugs at his door, and bloodied knuckles out the nose until he finally gave in. And that would hurt business. He sighed.

"All right. You've got yourself a private detective. I'll see you in Rogueport."

Reaching over the desk, Rio shook Vinnie's hand. Trepidation filled him- this was going to be one hell of a case. He could feel it already. Grambi keep me sane, now...

Chapter End