Summary ii:
AU. Dr. Queen and Dr. Smoak are best friends slash doctors who are doing their residencies at SC General, when Oliver's life comes crashing down. He's on a downward spiral and Felicity is the only one who may or may not be able to save him."I've been on call for 38 hours. I told her I'd go straight to her tonight and like always, she DIDN'T listen. And her recklessness KILLED my son! SHE killed my son." Olicity. Two parts.
Oliver stepped out of the hospital room occupied by his ex-girlfriend and her father, with a vein throbbing in his neck and with a strong urge to punch something. Sickened, he restrained himself from throwing his fist against the wall. Or at one of his interns.
His head felt as though it was spinning out of control.
His eyes stung.
Leaning against the wall, he tried to take a deep breath.
No.
It wasn't fair.
On him.
Or her.
Or...
No. He couldn't think about-
He cut his thoughts in between, trying not to think about what had just transpired. If only she'd listened to him. If only she hadn't been so careless, he thought angrily. If only she'd thought twice before starting up her car at 9:30 at night. If only she hadn't been so reckless.
He'd told her he'd come to her. After his shift ended, that is.
But no, she wasn't going to take no for an answer.
She just had to take matters into her own hands.
He couldn't believed he once loved her for her inability to back down.
His breath hitched slightly.
She did this.
She brought this upon him. And he hated her. For what she'd done. To herself. And to them.
It just wasn't fair.
"Dr. Queen?" called out a voice from behind him.
He turned in irritation, fully prepared to unleash his wrath on whoever chose to say his name, only to see a blonde woman. "Felicity!" he exclaimed in relief.
"You paged me?" she continued, walking over to him, still in her scrubs, fresh out of the OR.
"Felicity," he said mournfully.
The blonde's face twisted with shock as realization dawned on her. "Oliver," she exclaimed, rising on her toes, throwing her arms around his neck. "Oh my god, I had no idea it was Laurel." She tightened her grasp around him. "I'm so so sorry."
Never did she expect that her attending had paged her for her best friend's ex.
She hated cases like this one; absolutely detested them with every fibre of her being. It just killed her to deal with such patients. Their loss became hers. When they mourned, she mourned with them. While they cried, she remained stoic at the moment (and for the sake of professional-ism) only to burst into tears once she went back home and was in the comfort of her apartment.
"She doesn't want me in there," he said, trying to ensure that his voice didn't shake. "Her father's there with her... I just... I need to know if she's going to be okay." His fists clenched by his sides. "She's-"
"In shock," completed Felicity. "But what about you?" Her heart ached within her chest as she caught sight of his grief stricken face. "This affects you just as much as her. Are you-?" She paused mid way. "I'm not going to ask if you're okay because you're not. And I don't expect you to be. Oh Oliver!"
"Wait until the nurse comes out," he said, not wanting to answer her properly. He couldn't. Simply wouldn't. Not when his whole world was falling a part as he knew it.
She shook her head decisively. "I'm not going in there," she declared. "They don't need me but you do. I can't leave you on your own when-" her voice trailed off as her eyes met his.
Noticing how his blue orbs watered, she shakily raised her hand to his shoulder. "Oliver," she said as clearly as she could manage. "Oliver."
"She didn't listen to me!" he lashed out. "I told her not to come here but she-"
"She didn't know. Oh god, if she knew, she wouldn't have ever. She loved-"
"Her recklessness did this," he said, his voice laced with venom.
Felicity brought herself closer to him. "You're not the only one who's in pain here," she reminded him gently. "She's probably killing herself over this anyway." Her mind was at loss for words. "You need to be there for her. She needs you."
"I don't care if she actually dies right now," Oliver's voice rose an octave as he folded his arms across his chest. "I've been on call for 38 hours. I told her I'd go straight to her tonight and like always, she DIDN'T listen. And her recklessness KILLED my son! SHE killed my son."
"Oliver.."
"The baby's dead, Felicity. Dead," he all but shouted before descending to the floor. Clutching his head in his hands, he swallowed bile that was slowly rising up his throat.
He'd been happy. Even if things hadn't worked out with Laurel and even though she'd found herself pregnant and even though he knew they'd never ever work together, he was happy. Because they were going to be parents. The fact that he was going to be a father had him scared shitless and he'd gotten drunk the night he'd found out but he was okay with it because how could he hate something that was half-him?
How could he hate an innocent little kid when the mere thought of a baby of his own warmed the coldest corners of his heart? Once he'd gotten over the surprise of it all, he was happy. He'd rejoiced along Laurel's side as she went through the stages of pregnancy; he'd watched as her belly grew as it catered to the needs of his baby and smiled fondly when she allowed him to rub a hand across her protruding stomach.
He wasn't in love with her but he did love her, after all. First and foremost, she was his friend and next, mother of his child, although that didn't leave room for her to be the keeper of his heart, which already belonged to another woman.
Felicity.
He always thought he'd never have a chance with her, that she was too different and too good and pure for someone damaged like him. She exuded happiness and he loved her for it. Be it her smile or the dimples on her cheeks, he knew her and loved her to the extent that his heart swelled at the mere thought of it.
His life was a joke.
How depressing was it that he realized his feelings only when Laurel declared that she was pregnant. That the baby was his and that she couldn't do it alone. She needed him to do it with her (not that he would've abandoned her or the kid anyway).
He wouldn't.
Simply couldn't.
Knowing that Felicity would kick his ass wasn't a helpful thought he did what any honourable person would do. He 'manned the fuck up' as said blonde eloquently phrased it in that no nonsense voice of hers.
It warmed his heart to hear her talk about the baby that wasn't theirs. Sure, it was his but she didn't have any involvement or role to play in the 'Lance, Queen and Baby Lance' equation (Laurel was adamant that their son would have her last name, despite Oliver's insistence for the boy to have the Queen surname or perhaps a hyphenated version of the name).
Felicity was his best friend. Who knew a lot about babies. Because she worked with them (hello, she was training to be an OBGYN) and happened to have two nieces too. He listened to her as she talked- walking him through the intricacies of impending parenthood, constantly guiding him how to stock the nursery he was arranging at his apartment. After all, his son wouldn't primarily be living with Laurel and the Lances, would he? Oliver had to put his foot down when Laurel suggested that he stay over on her couch, whenever he wanted to spend time with Baby Tommy- fondly named after his parents' deceased childhood friend.
Although Oliver knew that he had many nights in-store on the offered couch (he didn't want to miss a single moment of his son's life just because he and Laurel weren't an item) he made his child's mother agree for him to have his own days with Tommy;days when it was just the baby boy and his daddy.
He may have also been hoping for Felicity to spend some time with just him and the baby too. Maybe, just maybe if he pretended (or thought about it sufficiently enough) he could think that the blonde was Tommy's mother and that they were just another pair of inexperienced (at least on his part) parents en route to starting a family.
He could hope, right? He knew he'd have her anyway because she promised. To be there for him and Tommy (even Laurel, if required, although Oliver didn't particularly like that idea).
He loved her more for it but now...
Tommy was dead.
Just like his namesake.
And as for Oliver, he was a step away from falling a part and in to a hundred thousand pieces.
Reality sucked.
Not only did it suck the life out of him, it took his son away from him too.
Blaming Laurel just made it so much easier.
Made him feel guilt-free.
Hang in there for a 'happily ever after' for Olicity. You're gonna like the end. Trust me on it.
I plan to post Part II as soon as it's ready.
Thanks for reading.
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