a/n; My first story for fanfiction is L/Light CRACK. I think that says a lot about my personality.(;
disclaimer; I don't own Death Note but I actually do own Justin Timberlake. He lives in a box under my bed.
The Task Force Headquarters was the same as it always was. L and Light were the only people actually working on the Kira Case while the rest of them discreetly watched porn. Well, except for Matsuda. He was very, very bad at being discreet.
"OH YEAH! HARDER! HARDER!"
"Matsuda-san, would you mind lowering the volume of your pornography?"
Matsuda blushed, "Sorry."
"I would be angry with you for not working but I've learned over the past months that it's better if I just let you observe human breasts and sex organs in the corner." L said bluntly before turning all of his attention back to his computer.
"Hey Ryuzaki?" Light asked suddenly, looking up from where he had been scribbling some of his favorite yaoi couples.
"Is there a problem, Light-kun?"
"I've been wondering this all day..." Light paused, eyes moving to stare at L's torso and a blush coloring his cheeks, "Where is your shirt?"
"Yeah!" Matsuda said from his special corner, "I was wondering that, too!"
"Matsuda-san, please fetch me some coffee." L ordered.
Matsuda made a whining noise, "But I just got you some half an hour ago!"
"But that was half an hour ago. I need more." L said, pouring the rest of his coffee in a random shrub when Matsuda wasn't looking.
"Why don't you make Aizawa go get it?"
Aizawa glared at him, "I'll punch you in the neck."
"... Going to get some coffee. Be back in a second."
Matsuda practically sprinted from the room.
Aizawa snorted, "Matusda's dumb."
There were murmurs of agreement.
"So, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" Light asked, eyes unwantingly trailing down the fine line of hair from L's naval to below the waistband of his jeans, "Not that I mind."
"Son," Soichiro said gruffly, "You are aware that you just said that out loud, correct?"
Kira - I MEAN LIGHT YAGAMI - swore under his breath, "Shit."
"The reason I'm not wearing a shirt is very simple. I am currently in the process of bringing sexy back." L explained.
"I'M BRINGING SEXY BACK! THEM OTHER BOYS DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT!" Matsuda suddenly sang out of tune from the kitchen.
Aizawa stood up from his chair, "I think I'm going to go verbally and physically abuse Matsuda."
L smirked slightly, "I knew there was a reason that you were my favorite."
Light was only slightly hurt by the fact that he was not L's favorite. Being Kira could do that to a relationship.
"So, uh, why do you think that you're bringing sexy back?" Light asked, shifting in his seat to try and hide his growing problem. How could someone who looked so much like a panda be so sexy? He felt gross, like he wanted to fuck a zoo animal.
"I heard a song on the radio this morning." L explained, ignoring the obvious erection in Light's pants and trying not to blush at the same time, "It was by a popular artist - I believe his name is Justin Timberlake? - and it was called I'm Bringing Sexy Back."
"I THINK IT'S SPECIAL WHAT'S BEHIND YOUR BACK SO TURN AROUND AND I'LL PICK UP THE SLACK! TAKE EM' TO THE BRIDGE!"
There was the sound of Aizawa slapping Matsuda across the face. L giggled with glee.
"Anyway, the song was quite good. It sounded like this Justin Timberlake was having a very fun time bringing sexy back. I wanted to try it myself."
"Well," Light said, smirking, "You definitely succeed."
"SON!"
"Did I say that out loud again?"
"Yes, Light-kun."
"Well... fuck."
Light shifted in his seat again, squeezing his legs in an attempt to hide how turned on he was.
L suddenly stood up, grabbing Light's arm and leading him up the stairs to find the nearest closet/bedroom/bathroom/cat.
"Where are you taking my son?" Soichiro asked.
"Your son and I are going to bring sexy back. Please do not disturb us."