A new place of peace.
She turned out the light, threw herself down and pulled up the covers. An exhale of relief escaped her lips as the dark night enveloped her before sleep.
The warmth and softness of the sheets entice her to end the day and sleep begins to dawn.
But in this sea of relaxation, her restful state no longer stands. Fear creeps in.
She can feel this fear through the day but many things can turn thoughts in day light.
At night the fear is stronger and she feels helpless to it.
This is not the fear a child feels for monsters and demons. Thunder grows under her chest as her thoughts and pulse race like the wind, her own demons have returned once again.
Thoughts of past mistakes and errors. Thoughts of countless future possibilities and decisions that will never come to pass are loud now in the dark of her room, so loud they could deafen her.
This fear has no reason to visit and that makes it far worse. Nor does it happen all of the time. This fear is unannounced and that's what makes it scary. Some days she lives in fear of the fear itself.
The room is completely silent save for the thunder in her veins. So she breathes in and out.
In, hold and release. She repeats and forces her thoughts to turn. But taming a hurricane on the sea is no easy feat. But still she fights against the wind and waves that she fears will finally claim her this time.
She wins the fight once again. Happy thoughts help her turn the tide and fatigue begins to draw her to sleep. The storm was so loud and so tiring yet she is the only one in the house to hear it. Good, no one will know.
But in this new place there is no storm.
This place is not completely silent like hers. In this place there is another sound. Another breath and a beating heart that she feels steady and strong next to her own.
Her thoughts wander again, but not to fear or guilt, nor too future possibilities of being brave. They just wander, they dream and there is no storm tonight.
Though she is not lying under a summer sun on a beach, she feels warmth seeping through her skin to her bones.
She can breathe without needing to count, she does not sigh in relief. She just breathes and lets everything go.
Tonight there is no fight. There is no struggle.
Tonight there is peace.