Just Try to Find Me

By

Wicketbear

Summary: McCoy is just following orders when he equips Kirk with a transponder without Kirk's knowledge.

McCoy carefully slipped the transponder under the skin on the back of Kirk's neck while he was still unconscious. Star Fleet, in all its infamous wisdom, decided that all officers had to wear a transponder. All the good crew members showed up to receive theirs as scheduled except for Jim, imagine that. Bones figured, while Jim was still out cold it would be a perfect time to inject it, Jim couldn't whine and he could complete the order he had been given.

The captain woke abruptly. The man was a machine, always in motion. If Bones hadn't been close by, Jim would have fallen off the bed. So far they hadn't had any collisions with the floor but there have been a few near misses. For Bones, Jim was a high maintenance patient.

"Easy Jim," Bones said placing a hand on Jim's shoulder. McCoy knew this jumpiness had something to do with the Kids past, always having to be on his guard. "You're in Sickbay. Do you remember what happened?"

Kirk frowned and rubbed the back of his head where he found a lump. "Test question?" he scoffed. "Ok, I was doing some throws in the gym and I missed the mat, go figure. I really think someone moved the mat on purpose while I was in mid air. I hit my head on the floor. Must have knocked me out."

"Yeah I guess it must have, since you're here and not still in the gym."

"Smart ass, you're making my head and neck hurt worse," Jim growled.

McCoy smirked, "You want something for it?"

Jim grabbed the Good Doctor's arm as he reached for a hypo. "No thanks; my head is in better condition than my neck will be if you use a hypo."

McCoy threw his hands up in the air saying, "Have it your way but don't come complaining to me later when you're still hurting."

"Fine Bones, fine." He slid off the bed. "Can I go?"

"You think you're ready. Even though you have a thick scull, that was a good bash that knocked you unconscious, you sure?" McCoy got one look at the pitiful expression on Kirk's face and conceded, "All right, all right get out of here, but no bridge. Go to your quarters and get some rest. I'll have someone check on you later."

"Thanks, Bones," Kirk said as he left the Sickbay as fast as his legs would carry him.

McCoy just smiled and shook his head. His co-conspirator, Nurse Chapel, came up behind him and asked, "Did he find the transponder?"

"Nope, not yet, but I'm sure he will and then there will be no living with him. No one will be safe."

"So, a normal day on the Enterprise?"

"Yep."

"I'll go get the emergency rations in case we have an extended stay hiding from him."

McCoy grinned at her back saying, "Thanks, Chris."

Kirk made his way to his quarters via the bridge. When the lift arrived he stayed inside, not stepping on the bridge, and got a report from his officers.

"Kirk," Uhura said, "You were told not to come to the bridge, weren't you?"

With a crocked grin Jim said, "No, not to come ON the bridge."

"That's what I thought. You have your report now get out of here before McCoy hears that a certain patient of his, namely Captain Kirk, did not follow his orders. How long do you think it would take him to get here and hypo you with something nasty?" she threatened.

"Not very long."

As if on command, over the bridge speaker system came, "Jim, quit acting like and infant. Get your ass to your quarters, now!"

"I'm going," He shouted then added to the bridge crew, "How does that man do that?" Not expecting an answer, the lift doors closed and took him away. Once inside his quarters he flopped on the bed and was soon asleep.

An obnoxious ringing woke Kirk from his pleasant dreams. "'Go to your quarters and sleep', is kind of hard to do when people are buzzing your door," he grumbled. Another buzz… "What? Who is it?" he shouted a little louder than he meant to. Nope, he took that back, his shout wasn't loud enough. He absently rubbed the back of his neck to ease the stiffness and ache that had settled there. He jerked his fingers away after he received a small shock. "What the heck was that," he said as he looked over his fingers for damage.

"It's Bones."

"Of course it is," he mumbled to himself. "Come on in," he shouted as he slid his legs over the side of the bed. He bent forward to stretch his back and rubbed at his neck again and got a similar jolt.

McCoy didn't miss the reaction. "You all right, Jim?"

Jim looked up saying, "You're the last person I'd tell."

"Very funny. Seriously, how do you feel?"

"Tired, my head hurts and my neck is stiff. I think I slept on it wrong." He removed his boots and lay down again.

McCoy ran his scanner and everything looked pretty normal except the irritation at the location of the injection. Patting Jim on the arm he said, "Get some sleep Jim and I'll come by later to collect you for dinner."

"I thought I was sleeping," he grinned. "Okay, Bones. See you then. Good night."

"Night Jim," Bones said as he darkened the cabin and left.

Jim woke again since McCoy had left. His neck was killing him and it itched, a lot, but he wasn't about to tell McCoy. Instead he rolled over and tried to go back to sleep. Just as he was finally getting some good sleep the persistent buzzing sounded again.

"Damn it, now who?" He rolled onto his side. "Come in."

"Come on Jim it's time for…" McCoy stopped. Even in the dim light he could see from Kirk's face he was irritated and the sleep wasn't doing him much good.

Jim rolled onto his back. "Bones," he groaned, "leave me alone. All I want to do is get some sleep, but you're making it pretty hard interrupting me all the time," he grumbled.

"Jim, for your information, it's been four hours since I last interrupted you."

Kirk shot up on his bed and stared at McCoy as if he had two heads. "Bull shit!"

"No bull shit, four hours. Ah Jim, you don't look so good."

"Yeah well, I don't feel so good either." He gathered his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and placed his chin on top.

"I can see that."

"Head and neck hurt, ache, burn, itch."

"Your head itches?"

Kirk scowled, "No, Smartass, my neck itches and its hotter right here." Heindicated the inflamed area, which was even redder.

McCoy said, "Oh boy."

Jim's head shot up. "What do you mean, 'Oh Boy'?"

"Well…"

"Well what?" Suspiciously he added, "Bones, what did you do?" He rubbed his neck, no zap that time.

"Jim, stop that." McCoy grabbed his hand before he could do real damage.

"Come on Bones, fess up. What did you do?"

"I was just following orders."

As soon as he said that Jim knew what was a foot. "Don't tell me you put in the transponder? "At McCoy's questioning look he added, "I also read the memo."

"Well, I guess you did and yes I did. I took advantage while you were unconscious. You were the only one I had left and it was such a perfect time to do it."

"Damn it Bones. So that's what itches so bad. Take it out before I do," he rubbed absent mindedly.

McCoy grabbed his hand again, "Stop it, Jim! I can't remove it. You saw the memo, everyone gets one."

"Why, so you can tell when I'm taking a pee? What good is that?"

McCoy scoffed. "You know perfectly well that's not what they're for. It's so we know where to pick up the pieces of crazy captain's who think they're invincible. Let me have a look at this." McCoy turned up the lights while Jim turned around giving him a better view. The entire area was inflamed, red and angry looking. "Oh Boy. As usual you're having an allergic reaction. I've done the entire crew all except for you and only you had a reaction. Don't you feel special? You should be their test dummy."

"Funny, Bones, very funny. I keep getting zapped whenever I touch the area. You know that's the second time you've said 'Oh boy' since you walked in this cabin. Take…it…OUT!" he shouted.

"Okay, okay easy Kid." He examined and pushed on the spot, it was hot to the touch and he jumped when he got jolted. Surprised he said, "Crap, what was that? It's not supposed to do that."

"Ouch, Bones that hurt. You got zapped didn't you? Serves you right. Now, what part of, 'TAKE IT OUT' did you not get?"

McCoy scowled at him saying, "I got it all, thank you very much. Let's get you down to Sickbay and see what I can do. Maybe I can put it somewhere else. Spock might be able to help me with a coating that you are NOT allergic to." He added, "Not likely."

"No Bones, there is no 'somewhere else'. Take it out and don't put it back in. That's an order."

"No can do. I get my orders from higher up than you. Besides; I follow orders. Unlike some others in this room. Come on."

After Jim pulled on his boots McCoy pushed him out the cabin door and into the lift. In Sickbay Jim hopped up on a bed while McCoy went to find hisweapons of choice and, a nurse. He returned with Christine in tow and a tray of torture paraphernalia. He numbed the area and made a small incision. McCoy gave a slight pinch, he got zapped, and the transponder flew across the room hitting the wall and dropped to the floor. The nurse picked up the transponder and handed it to McCoy.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Jim chanted. "Can I go now?"

"I don't think so," McCoy said as he grabbed Jim's arm to keep him on the bed. He examined the device in his fingers. "Looks like it's not damaged."

Before either of them could move, Kirk grabbed the device out of McCoy's hand, jumped off the other side of the bed and stomped on it until he had little crushed pieces. "There, now it's damaged." He jumped back up on the bed as the others stared at him dumbfounded.

Stunned, Bones said, "Okay. I guess we better figure out some way to adapt the transponder for you without you having a reaction to it." Then under his breath he added, "That should take the rest of my life."

"Bones, did you say something."

"I just said that I'll let you know when we have a viable solution."

"Sure you did."

"Shut up, Jim. Here take these," he handed him a couple of pills, "They'll take care of the infection and you'll be good as new." Softly he added, "Until I can figure this out."

"Bones, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears. Quit thinking so hard. You're not putting another one of those in me."

"I got news for you Kid; you will be getting one of these in one way, shape, or form. We might just have to let you swallow one before each mission."

Kirk slipped off the other side of the bed and backed out of reach of McCoy saying, "Thanks but that's not going to happen."

"Get out of my sickbay so I can treat real patients," McCoy shouted.

Grinning Kirk waved saying, "Bye Bones," and ran almost hitting the door when it didn't open quick enough.

When the door slid shut McCoy and Chapel laughed. He turned to her saying, "Wait until he sees what I come up with next."

"Leonard!" Chapel sneered.