"Tara!" The word ripped Jax Teller's throat raw. His body shivered uncontrollably as his eyes tried to discern darkness from shadows. The nothingness threatened to swallow him whole as he searched for his wife. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he did so. Slow down, he thought to himself. You know this isn't real.
The nightmare was a familiar one, one he'd had a million times since he and Tara fled Charming. It began with Tara holding his hand. They were walking the streets of Charming again, but in the dream, they were much younger, sixteen or seventeen. Suddenly, a motorcycle would barrel down the street, and its masked rider would grab Tara and speed away. Jax, merely walking, would be unable to stop the kidnapping.
It was then that he wander the darkness, helpless, vulnerable, and terrified, looking for his soulmate again. Sometimes, he'd wander the streets and come across old ghosts. Depending on the night, Opie would visit him and offer him encouragement. Other nights, Clay would berate him and tell him he was worthless. Hell, even Gemma had popped in a couple of times to say how much she missed him, but tonight, like countless other nights, the dream involved him walking alone through the black night alone.
"Babe," Tara's sweet voice coaxed him into semi-consciousness. His body woke before his brain did, and he instinctively pulled her close. "They're arguing again. Can you handle it this time?"
Jax's eyes fluttered open to a bright and way too cheerful North Carolina sun. He quickly snapped them shut again. He pulled Tara even closer. It amazed him at how incredibly soft her skin was, but what amazed him more is that he never grew tired of it. She was still as beautiful as the day he'd met her thirty-five years ago.
His hands crept beneath her too big t-shirt. Slowly, he traced the curves of her body with his fingertips, pleased to feel goosebumps forming beneath them. She giggled and turned towards him. Jax opened his eyes again, astounded by her beauty. At almost fifty-one, his wife was still stunning. He loved the way her hazel eyes now crinkled when she laughed. Her long chocolate brown hair hadn't changed color at all, except for one beautiful snowy white streak on the right side. When it first appeared, she thought of coloring it, but Jax begged her not to.
"I'm getting old," she complained. "Today, it's gray hair; tomorrow it's a fucking nursing home." Jax pulled her close and kissed her then.
"If this is getting old," he whispered against her mouth, "Then I am happy to do it. Don't change a single thing. Please." The white streak remained, and Jax still loved it.
"As much as I'd love to fuck you senseless, our daughters are about to rip one another's faces off," she murmured sleepily. "And it's your turn. I've been dealing with this all week."
"Ugh, fine," Jax grumbled. Before he rolled out of bed, he lazily licked Tara's neck, and she shuddered.
"Glad to know I still turn you on," he joked as he stood. Tara watched as he pulled sweatpants and t-shirt on.
"You could turn a dead woman on," she replied sleepily. Jax chuckled lightly as he walked out the door.
He could hear the raised female voices as he rushed down the hardwood stairs. As he crossed the living room and entered the formal dining room, the commotion grew louder. By the time he entered the kitchen, it was an all-out shouting match.
"I don't care what you have to do, Cait! It's my day for the car! Dad, tell her it's my day!"
"Opie, you know it's your sister's day," Jax began. It still fucked with his head to hear them use the Wit-Sec names. Cait and Laura were too-plain names neither he nor Tara would have chosen. To him, they would always be Ophelia and Delylah. Now eighteen years old, his daughters had gone from sweet, cooing babies to firebrand young women. The boys had been relatively easy, but Opie and Lala, now known to the outside world as Cait and Laura, respectively, had been one helluva ride. Jax always thought their twin connection would make them closer, but really, it simply divided them.
"But Dad, I have work today, and she's just going up to the mountains. Why can't see just bum a ride with her friends? Why does she need the car?" Jax stared his best friend's namesake. Her apricot curls shimmered as the sun poured through the windows. Gemma would have called her a rare bird, as she was the only ginger in the family. She had Tara's fair skin; the only difference was the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Just above those freckles were a pair of huge, heavily lashed gray eyes. Those eyes glared in frustration at her twin, and Jax couldn't help but notice traces of Tara in her stare. She was tall, roughly five-foot-nine, and she ran towards the lean, but she was one stunning girl. The most beautiful part of Opie was that she didn't even see how gorgeous she truly was.
Her twin, on the other hand, knew she was a hot commodity in their tiny, middle-of-nowhere town. Hers was a strange, almost exotic beauty. Her long, rich, chocolate hair fell straight past her shoulders. Like Opie, Lala had ivory skin that unequivocally opposed the sun, but there were no freckles adorning her features. Her pale blue eyes—Jax's eyes—glittered dangerously as she stared at Opie. Jax knew that stare: it was Gemma's half-murderous glare. The thought caused Jax to shudder.
"She has the car because it's her day," Jax reminded his daughter. He moved across the kitchen and quickly began brewing coffee.
"But her stuff isn't even important," Opie countered as she crossed her arms beneath her breasts.
"It is important," Lala retaliated.
"Whatever," Opie sighed. She didn't have the energy to argue; fighting with Lala was an endless battle; it was a battle she'd always lose too, even when she knew she was right. Lala was a steamroller if there ever was one. "It's always about you, Laura. Always." The words were harsh, but when Jax looked over towards Lala, he could see immediate remorse.
"You need to stop arguing," Jax demanded. "I can't fucking stand it. You're supposed to be sisters."
"Dad, I—" Opie began, but Jax promptly cut her off.
"No, Op," he replied. "You're graduating high school next week. Between Luke's graduation and Adam's wedding, the summer is going to fly by, and then comes September. You're going to Duke, and Lala is going to NYU. You'll be lucky to see one another between breaks. You're going to miss this, and you don't even see it. Before you realize it, you're going to miss fighting over the damned car."
The girls were immediately contrite.
"I can take you to work, Cait," Lala quietly stated. Jax looked over at Opie, and he watched as she softened. He was silently relieved. As fast as they fought, they'd make up just as fast. Maybe that twin connection wasn't as severed as he thought it was. Opie nodded.
"Can you pick me up, Dad?" Opie asked.
"You know I will, Op," Jax softly replied.
"Everything ok?" Tara asked as she entered the room. The smell of coffee wafted through her nose. She wandered over to Jax and tightened the belt of her robe. He kissed her cheek.
"Yeah, it's fine, right girls?" Jax pointedly asked. Both Opie and Lala nodded in unison. Jax kissed Tara's cheek.
"C'mon, Cait" Lala beckoned. "You don't want to be late." With a quick kiss and hug to Jax and Tara, the girls left, shutting the door behind them. Jax and Tara were alone.
"You hungry, babe?" Tara asked. "I can make a quick breakfast before you head off to work."
"Eggs and bacon are fine with me," he responded. Tara wandered over to the fridge. Before she opened the door, her eyes caught the announcements on the fridge.
James and Sarah Sinclair
along Eric and Elizabeth Morgan
happily announce that
their daughter, Hannah Juliana Sinclair,
will join Adam Nicholas Morgan
in Holy Matrimony
on the Day of our Lord
July First at seven o'clock in the evening. Reception to follow.
Please RSVP no later than May Fifteenth to Sarah Sinclair or Elizabeth Morgan.
After eighteen years gone from Charming, Tara, like Jax, still couldn't quite reconcile the name changes. The fact that Abel was now Adam still threw her for a loop. There were days that she still stumbled for the kids' names as well as her own. At this point, Tara still didn't identify herself as Elizabeth Morgan, nor did she see Jax as Eric Morgan. In her mind, she would always be Tara, Jax would always be Jax. Jax was the name she called out when they were making love; Eric was never right.
Just below the wedding announcement was his brother's graduation invitation:
The Faculty and Senior Class of
The University of South Carolina
announce that
Luke Christopher Morgan
is a candidate for the degree of
Secondary Education
with a minor in French Language
Commencement Exercises
Sunday, June twenty-second, at three o'clock in the afternoon.
It was going to be a busy summer indeed. Tara didn't know what was more surreal: Abel marrying or Thomas graduating college, the girls graduating from high school, or the fact they would never remember their true birth names. Adam and Luke never rolled off the tongue like Abel and Thomas did. It was one of the things Tara detested about the Witness Protection Program; one of the other things she hated was the fact that she couldn't practice medicine anymore. She missed her true vocation. When they fled Charming, she was shocked to find that they hadn't chosen a career for her. Meanwhile, Jax was given a start-up auto body shop to helm.
In the beginning, Tara stayed at home, content to watch the kids grow, but once the girls hit Kindergarten, she was itching for other things to do. When Jax expressed the need for business manager for his now-booming business, Tara jumped at the opportunity. It wasn't surgery by any means, but it made her feel productive and appreciated. Jax knew how much she missed saving lives, even when she assured him over and over again that she'd gladly pay that price to keep their family together and safe. They were both grateful that Jax's business paid all the bills and then some. She was grateful Jax could be a provider; it was the one thing she'd worried about when they began this life. Still, the irony of it all hadn't escaped her; she was Gemma all over again in that respect.
"You okay, babe?" Jax asked. He crept up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He planted a sweet, gentle kiss on her neck. Goosebumps emerged and traced down her body.
"It's just gone so fast, Jax," she whispered. "The girls are going to college. Thomas is graduating college…and Abel is getting married. I can't believe it. I just can't fucking believe it."
"I can't either," Jax breathed. "It's crazy to think about it. It's like—Charming was slow motion, and the eighteen years since had been on fast forward." Tara nodded absently. Eggs and bacon forgotten, she turned to face her husband.
"All we've ever wanted is for our kids to be safe and happy," she murmured. Jax kissed planted a sweet kiss on her lips.
"I think we've succeeded," he responded. She nodded as tears filled her eyes. Jax's eyes filled with empathy as he took her in his arms. "Oh Tara…"
"I just don't know what to do without them. They're all leaving me, Jax. What will I do now?"
As his wife broke down, Jax gathered her tightly within his arms. The truth was, he didn't know what to do either. The last eighteen years had been about school and sports and activities and family time, and now, in the blink of an eye, all four children were truly embarking on their own futures. As much as he wanted to keep them by his side, he knew they would have to forge their own paths.
"You have me," Jax said calmly. "For the first time in twenty-three years, we will be alone. No Abel or Thomas, no Delylah or Ophelia. It's sad, yes, but it's also kind of amazing. We will be able to connect with each other, to just hang out together—to just walk around here naked, if we want." Tara giggled through her tears at that statement. Jax laughed in return.
"I mean, we can start now," she smiled. Jax's brows raised, and a lascivious grin spread across his face. His hands quickly pushed the robe open and ran them beneath her flimsy cotton t-shirt. He marveled at her tight body. She'd barely aged over the last eighteen years, and even if she had, it wouldn't have mattered. She grabbed his face and pulled his lips to hers. When his tongue slid against hers, she was lost. Jax fumbled for her legs, and he lifted her. She wrapped her legs around his waist; it was easy, this seductive dance they'd always done.
He carefully backed her against the kitchen wall, and with aching patience, he slid her underwear aside and with one quick motion. She moaned in response, and he yanked his sweatpants down and slid into her.
"I love you, Tara," he savagely groaned as they moved in unison. She smiled down at him. Her fingers twined in his short, blonde hair. She brutally crushed her lips against his, enjoying the kalidescope of emotion and lust that flowed through her. It didn't take long for her to attain her pleasure, and once Jax knew she was satisfied, he allowed himself his own release.
"I love you, Jax," Tara returned, and he smiled once more. Carefully, he let her go. Once her feet touched the floor, and she stood on tiptoe and kissed Jax's neck.
"I don't have time for round two, babe," he joked, only half-serious. She laughed. "We have to get to the shop."
"I know," she whispered. "But you can't be mad at a girl for trying."
"Absolutely not," he responded, kissing her forehead. "But if you promise to be quick, we can always shower together." Tara's eyes lit up.
"Sounds like a plan," she replied. With a wicked glance, she broke from his embrace and headed back through the living room. Jax was hot on her heels. As they hit the stairs, the doorbell rang. Both of them stopped dead in their tracks.
"Who the fuck is that?" he growled.
"I don't know," Tara replied. "Maybe if we ignore it, it'll go away?"
The bell rang again, this time it was a quick succession of three rings. They were urgent and uniquely strange. Jax rolled his eyes and turned around to answer the door. Tara followed. She could make out a dark figure through the glass. Her heart pounded against her chest. Something was terribly wrong. She felt it in her bones. The doorbell echoed through their home once more. As Jax swung the door open, her hands visibly shook.
"Holy fucking shit," Jax exhaled. His blue eyes widened as he faced the person in front of him.
"Jackie Boy," the familiar Scottish brogue greeted him. Tara's eyes filled with tears as her past slapped her face, and irony filled Tara's bones. Just moments ago, she was wondering what the hell she was going to do after her babies left the nest. Now, clad in black jeans, a black shirt, and the all-too-familiar Sons of Anarchy kutte, she knew that life was going to take a strange and very dangerous turn. Still, she was elated to see her old friend standing at her door. As Jax pulled the Scot inside, she closed her robe and marveled at Fate's timing. Still, an unsettling thought sank into her as Chibs sat on their living room couch.
Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.