Inuyasha's Greatest Struggle

Chapter One: He Loves, Um, Firewood?

Disclaimer: Inuyasha does not belong to me.

"Do you have everything prepared?" asked Sango.

Holding up three fans and an assortment of "party supplies" stolen from Kagome, Miroku began to hand them out to his companions.

"This is great and everything," the little kitsune said as he received his party hat and bag of confetti. "But I don't think he will even make it pass the first stage."

Sango turned to Shippou. "You should have more faith in Inuyasha. He is capable of surprising things, after all."

"Sango's right, Shippou. This task is so simple, so natural, that any fool can accomplish it. And if he can defeat Naraku, he can do anything." Miroku was putting on his own party hat

"Hmph, well, he didn't do it all by himself. Everyone else helped, too," said Shippou, as he recalled their final battle with Naraku. It had been inevitably long and painful, with many sacrifices on their part. Sango's brother, Kohaku, did not survive the confrontation, and it had taken Sango half a year before she could even muster up a smile. The other casualty was the miko Kikyou, but in her case, she seemed to be content with finally being rid of Naraku and achieving true peace. She had left behind an arrow, which they brought back to Kaede. It is now kept on an altar in the village's small shrine.

"That's why we are helping him now. Even Inuyasha deserves to be as happy as I am." Miroku reached out his arm in an attempt to hug Sango to him, but she merely swatted him away.

"Not now, Miroku. We have more important things to do."

With the Kazana gone, Miroku had kept to his promise to Sango. Once she had had time to come to terms with her brother's death, Miroku got down on his knees in the middle of the village and asked Sango to bear all his children. Out of habit and embarrassment, because he had been very loud and there were many witnesses, she had smacked him. But of course, Sango agreed in the end. They have been married and settled in Kaede's village for the past year.

"I wonder what finally cracked him," mused Shippou.

"Probably their last fight, when Kagome had threatened to return to her time for good," answered Miroku.

"Yes, but that's nothing new."

"With Naraku dead and the Shikon completed, he is probably scared that one day, she will really have no reason to return," Sango offered her explanation.

Shippou pouted. "She'll still return for us!"

"Of course," Miroku agreed. "But you know how insecure Inuyasha can be when it comes to Kagome."

"WOULD YOU IDIOTS STOP TALKING ABOUT ME AS IF I'M NOT HERE?!"

The three turned towards the shouting figure who had been listening to their conversation with growing irritation. Inuyasha had his fingers clenched into fists in front of him and one eye was twitching at a worrying speed.

"Inuyasha, you're free to join in," replied Miroku, completely unfazed by the hanyou's anger.

"Why are you idiots even here?!" asked Inuyasha, emphasizing each word with a menacing step towards them.

Sango blinked back at him. "I thought you had been listening to us. We're here to offer you support."

"And to celebrate the happy occasion with you," continued Miroku.

Shippou couldn't resist adding, "And if you fail, we'd also like to witness your embarrassment."

Inuyasha gave as ferocious a growl as he could, but after all these years, it was becoming impossible to look intimidating in front of them.

"I don't need any help! Now go away and leave me alone. It's none of your business, anyways."

Miroku gasped in mock hurt. "How can you even say that? Of course yours and Kagome's happiness is our business!"

Sango, on the other hand, was afraid that if they pushed Inuyasha too far, he would back out altogether. She quickly reassured him. "You're right, Inuyasha. This is your private business. We'll just wait for your good news instead. Good luck!"

She proceeded to grab the monk and the kitsune by their collars and drag them away. Inuyasha looked on suspiciously, but once the three were out of sight, he went in search of Kagome.

"Are we really going to not watch?" Miroku was still being dragged away by Sango.

She looked at him. "Of course we're going to watch."

"Okay, he's out of sight now. Let's follow him!" Shippou jumped out of Sango's grasp and ran after Inuyasha. Miroku and Sango followed close behind.

--

Inuyasha found Kagome in the middle of the village, playing ball with the children. He had to grudgingly admit that the sight was adorable. Not wanting to disturb them right away, he approached her quietly. Kagome had just caught the ball and was backing up to throw it when she bumped into Inuyasha and tripped over his feet.

"Ahhh!" He had managed to catch her, but one of her hands was still scratched from being extended to break her fall. "Inuyasha! Next time make a sound when you show up, won't you?"

"What?! Don't try to blame your clumsiness on me!"

"Hmph!"

"I need to talk to you, so come on!" He tried to drag her away, but Kagome refused to budge.

"I'm kind of busy right now, Inuyasha. Is it important?" She was still a bit miffed at being called clumsy when it was obviously his fault.

"Of course it is, wench! You're always so difficult."

Kagome almost relented, but the children swarmed them.

"Kagome-chan! Are you leaving already?"

"You promised you'd play with us the whole day!"

"Stop bothering her, brats! She has to do something important now. She'll play with you later, so go away!"

"Inuyasha, don't yell at them!"

"I'm not yelling!"

Seeing that they clearly have the upper hand on the hanyou, the children decided to use it to their advantage and simultaneously burst into tears. Kagome gasped and knelt down to placate them.

"Inuyasha, you've scared them!"

One of the boys jumped into Kagome's arms and stuck out his tongue at Inuyasha over her shoulders.

"No, I haven't! The brats are faking it!"

A small crowd of villagers, mostly concerned parents, have arrived on the scene. Kagome looked a bit embarrassed to be caught with a group of crying children after they have been entrusted to her for the day. Luckily, the children stop crying when their parents moved to collect them.

"Whatever you want to say, Inuyasha, you can just say it right here," said Kagome as she turned her full attention on him.

Inuyasha looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Uh, well…" The crowd has still not dispersed.

"What are you all looking at? Leave already!" He yelled at the villagers. They were moving away very slowly, but he continued his conversation with Kagome anyway. "I was thinking…I mean, I've been thinking a lot, and I think that you should remain here. Permanently."

"What? I can't do that, what about –"

But Inuyasha didn't let her finish. He rushed on, "It's not like you're really needed over there anyways, now that you're finished with all those 'tests.'"

Kagome glared at him, but he was blushing too hard to notice.

"Sango and Miroku would be happy to have you around. And the kit already thinks of you as his mother. Kaede can probably use some help around here since she's about to kick the bucket any day…"

Kagome was about to yell at him for being ridiculous, asking her to leave her family for good, but his next words stopped her.

"And I would…Well, I mean, I'm asking you to stay because I…"

"You what, Inuyasha?" asked Kagome expectantly.

Inuyasha rambled on awkwardly, "I…uh…well, we all know how clumsy you can be sometimes. And now that the Shikon is completed, it's not like your miko sight is needed anymore. I mean, I guess you can shoot a few arrows…But I've put up with you so far, I would…I'm sure I can put up with you some more. I guess what I'm trying to say is I lo--"

His last word was completely drowned out by Kagome's consecutive shouts of "Sits!" By the flames burning in her eyes, it was evident that she had stopped listening before the lafst sentence. After one last "Sit!" for good measure, Kagome stomped away.

When Miroku, Sango, and Shippou reached the village center, everyone had cleared away.

"Is it over already?" Miroku looked around. "I thought I heard their voices coming from over here."

"Oh, is that Inuyasha on the ground?" Sango pointed to the crumbled figure in red.

Shippou walked forward and stopped next to Inuyasha. "Was she so overcome with joy that she sat you?"

Inuyasha lifted one arm off the ground to punch the kitsune, but missed when he jumped backwards.

"I guess there's no need to ask what happened," Sango commented.

Miroku shook his head in wonder. "Only Inuyasha could turn a proposal into an insult."

Sango glared at him. "You were pretty insulting, the way you asked all the women to bear your children."

"But I did it right when it actually matters!" He crouched down next to Inuyasha. "Not everyone has my suaveness to propose in public settings, Inuyasha. Especially you."

Sango snorted at Miroku's mention of his suaveness. "Yes, maybe you should try again when you two are alone."

"I tried to get her away!" yelled Inuyasha.

"How about catching her alone instead of trying to rudely pull her away? In fact, try no rudeness at all," advised Shippou.

--

"Oi, Kagome, are you finished yet? You are so slow at everything!"

It was almost second nature for Inuyasha to start conversations with an insult, so Kagome's reaction was only a mild grumble.

"Yes, Inuyasha. I'm almost done. Just give me a few more minutes."

Inuyasha jumped down from his perch on the tree to land on a rock next to Kagome. She was crouched on a similar rock, figure bent over a stream, washing her light blue yukata. It was the last of her laundry load. After twisting out the water, she dumped it into the large tub containing the other garments.

"Was there a reason you were looking for me, Inuyasha?"

"No! I was just walking."

"Okay." Kagome picked up the tub to leave, but staggered a bit under its weight.

When she was steady on her feet again, Inuyasha had already grabbed the tub away from her. "Oh fine, I'll help you carry it! You really need to work on building up your strength, even if that bastard Naraku is gone."

Kagome gave Inuyasha a peevish look for his brusque manners. "Well, you should help. Your haori is in there, too."

"Keh."

They made the trip back to the village in companionable silence. Outside Kaede's hut, Inuyasha seemed to have made up his mind about something. He tossed the tub to the side and turned to face Kagome fully.

"Hey, I just finished washing those! And we have to hang them up still."

The brief interruption made Inuyasha lose his nerve, and he glumly followed Kagome to hang the garments on the clothesline that stretched out by the hut. While working, Inuyasha surreptitiously glanced over at Kagome and barely paid attention to what he was doing. He was just waiting for the right moment to say the words, but somehow, silence was not enough of an incentive.

When Kagome finished with her pile, she looked over to check on Inuyasha's progress, only to grimace at the sight. The clothes were tangled up in each other, and some pieces were even dragging on the ground.

"Inuyasha, thank you for all your help. I can finish up the rest."

"Fine." But he remained to watch as she meticulously straightened out each garment.

Picking up a piece of Shippou's clothing to inspect, Kagome announced, "Hmm. I'm thinking of getting new clothes for Shippou. I wonder if he'd like something I pick out."

Partly annoyed that Kagome was thinking of gift ideas for someone else, Inuyasha was quick to shoot down her plan. "Keh! You need to stop babying him like that. It's not good for him in the long run. How will he ever learn to survive on his own if he has someone picking out clothes for him?!"

"Doing something nice for others once in awhile is hardly harmful to them!"

"It is when you're struggling to survive."

He said it in such a matter-of-fact way, as if it was a normal part of life. Somehow, this made Kagome yearn to reach out and engulf him in a hug. But no, that would be entirely inappropriate in the present circumstances.

"Inuyasha, it makes me really sad when I imagine everything you had to suffer through. I wish I was there with you then, too. I know you are concerned for Shippou, but I hope that we could show him a different world from the one you knew."

Kagome was trying valiantly to suppress the tears that were starting to emerge. Inuyasha would probably think she's being too emotional again, crying over something so silly.

But all he said was, "Keh, it wasn't all that bad." And then, "I bet you're going to be much more coddling when we have pups of our own."

The last was muttered so quietly to himself that if Kagome hadn't been standing next to him, she would have missed it completely. As it was, she barely heard and wasn't quite certain she had heard correctly.

"Wha – Sorry, Inuyasha, but what did you just say?"

Inuyasha's mind clambered to make sense of just exactly what he had said, and his face turned a deadly white color. He was rooted to the spot and desperately trying to come up with a reasonable excuse for his words, anything but an admission of the truth. But the only words his brain could come up with were "pups of our own." They were ringing in his head, so loudly that he feared the whole village could hear his thoughts.

"Inuyasha, what of our own?"

Kagome was extremely persistent when she wanted to be. A tiny corner of his mind said this was the perfect opportunity to come out with what he had intended to ask Kagome. But that tiny corner was easily overwhelmed by the rest of his panic-stricken brain. As in all dangerous situations, when Inuyasha was too cornered and things became hopeless, his mind shut down and conceded all control to his instincts.

In true instinct-driven, Inuyasha fashion, he responded the only way he knew how. "Pups of YOUR own! You know, when you have your own children!" He was practically shouting at her. "I was afraid they would turn out to be as helpless as their mother. But now that I think about it, I'm sure that's a worry you'll never have to face. It's not like someone will ever.….."

Over the course of their travels, Inuyasha's mind and body had developed a separate warning system where Kagome's concerned. It enabled him to sense when she was in danger and when he was in danger from her. That system was now hysterically blaring at full volume, and Inuyasha knew he was approaching the point past all salvation.

Luckily, his Kagome instincts were much stronger than any other instinct and had taken over control. He hastily backtracked. "You'll never have to face that worry because, uh, there's Miroku!"

"Huh?"

"Um…you can learn from all his mistakes. Once he has his own brood. We can only hope that they won't take after him too much."

"How did Miroku get into this conversation?" Kagome was trying hard to grasp the logic of Inuyasha's explanations.

"Because, because he was talking about you having pups. I mean, children, the other day, and uh…"

"Why was Miroku talking about me having children, and why were you joining in?"

"Because of Sango! They are married, so naturally the monk would be thinking about starting his family. He has wanted kids forever, and you know how his mind wanders. But when it wandered to you, I knocked him out, of course!"

"Okay… Actually, that's okay, Inuyasha. I don't really want to know the details of Miroku's thoughts on child bearing."

"Yeah, no one should ever have to!"

"Well, we're all finished here, so I think I'm going to sleep now. Good night." With a wave to Inuyasha, Kagome hastily retreated into the hut.

When she was gone, Inuyasha half slumped in exhaustion and relief. If he had known the monk would be such a good shield from prying questions, he would have brought him into it much sooner. Inuyasha was so preoccupied with his near escape that he didn't notice the subject of his thoughts walking up behind him. When Miroku placed a hand on his shoulder, Inuyasha jumped back in surprise.

"Don't sneak up on people like that, monk!"

"I didn't realize I was being sneaky. So how did it go?" Sango and Shippou had joined Miroku and were also looking at Inuyasha expectantly.

"I didn't get a chance. She was tired so she went to sleep."

"Why is your face red, Inuyasha?" questioned Sango innocently.

"No reason! Why are you guys always so nosy?" Inuyasha backed further away from them.

"It seems our Inuyasha had inadvertently said some words he was too embarrassed to repeat to Kagome." Four pairs of eyes turned as one towards Kaede, who was stepping out of the shadows.

"What the –! Kaede-baba, you were spying on us?!" Inuyasha turned on the old miko, but she ignored him.

"I did not hear the exact words, but their conversation afterwards suggests that Inuyasha had made some references to him and Kagome having pups together."

"What?!" asked Miroku, Sango, and Shippou at once.

It was just Inuyasha's luck that even the old bat would be this nosy. He decided that the best course of action would be to admit nothing and secure an escape route as quickly as possible.

"Inuyasha, I never knew you had it in you!" Miroku was clapping him on the shoulder in congratulations, but Inuyasha quickly shrugged him off and glared at all of them.

"And while you were talking about all of that, you still couldn't manage to ask the one question you had set out to?" asked Sango incredulously

Miroku smack his fist against his hand. "Darn, that was so close. You had the perfect mood, too. What did you end up doing?"

"He insulted her, as usual," Kaede answered before walking away with a chuckle.

Shippou crossed his arms and added his two cents. "Of course. Inuyasha ruins all good things."

--

In a quiet clearing on the outskirts of Kaede's village, four figures stood in deep conference. One of them, the hanyou, had been dragged there through force and cunning.

The monk was currently speaking to him. "I don't think it was a total loss. When you look at it in a positive light, she's already prepared ahead of time. You brought to her attention the fact that you've been thinking about children. Yours and hers."

A growl and a glare were Inuyasha's only response to this reminder of his blunder, but Miroku continued on bravely. "And most importantly, she must be thinking about the same thing now. It's perfect. For your next step, you can just skip right over the proposal and go straight to the actual act of –"

Miroku's next words were immediately cut off by Sango's hiraikotsu connecting solidly with the back of his head. The force of the blow knocked him off his feet, which was actually quite lucky for him. A quick second after, Inuyasha's Tetsusaiga was striking at the spot where Miroku's neck had been. Even in its untransformed state, Inuyasha can still do much damage to a human with the sword.

"Miroku!" Sango was torn between giving her husband another smack for his lecherous words and monitoring Inuyasha's movements, in case he felt a blow to the head was not enough punishment for the monk.

Shippou glanced down at Miroku's prone body with an unperturbed face from having witnessed far too many similar scenes. Then he looked back up at Inuyasha. "Putting Miroku's dirty thoughts aside, there is some truth to what he says."

Inuyasha was raising his sword again, and there was no doubt as to whose head it would descend upon this time, but before he could bring it down, Shippou plunged ahead, "And the truth is that you have made it through the toughest part. After blurting out something as embarrassing as that, and then covering up in such an idiotic manner, there is no way you can top it."

It was just like Shippou to tack insult onto advice. And although an insult to himself was not as great as one to Kagome, Inuyasha still made a swipe at Shippou's head with his claws. The gesture was more out of habit than real anger, and excessive experience allowed Shippou to easily dodge it.

"I'm right, aren't I? There's nothing holding you back now."

"That was not the most embarrassing part. Facing her after that incident is!" replied Inuyasha.

Shippou rubbed his chin in one hand as he mulled over this. "Yeah. I think you might be right."

Inuyasha growled again. Lately, he was doing a lot of that around them. By this time, Miroku had picked himself off the ground and was recovered enough to contribute to the conversation. "You have no other choice. Are you planning to never face Kagome-sama again? Never speak to her again?"

"Of course I'd speak to her again!"

"Well then…" The monk waved his hands towards Inuyasha in encouragement.

Sango, who had been mostly quiet, finally decided that they would get nowhere if she left things up to the males of the group. "Inuyasha, it doesn't have to be that difficult! Stop going around in circles with your insults and vague references to confuse her. I think it would be much easier if you would just come right out and say it."

"Keh! That's the problem. I don't even have the words for that," sulked the hanyou.

Sango sighed in exasperation, "All right. Then I'll give you the words. Just walk up to her and say, 'Listen Kagome, I have something to tell you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you because I love you.'"

Inuyasha's eyes widened in horror. "No way am I going to say that! No freaking way!"

"Why not if it's the truth? Tip-toeing around the issue accomplished nothing for you so far. Now just go and do it already!"

Planting both feet firmly on the ground, Inuyasha folded his arms across his chest and glared at Sango in stony silence. She glared back at him with equal determination. For several heart beats, both refused to budge as Miroku and Shippou nervously look back and forth between them. But at Kagome's cheerful "Good morning Kaede-sama!" from the direction of the village, Inuyasha's stubborn expression transformed into one of panic, and he finally gave in.

"Fine," Inuyasha ground out to Sango before abruptly turning around and marching towards Kagome with determined strides.

Sango looked on with a smirk of triumph while Miroku and Shippou crept after Inuyasha. When the glow of victory had faded, Sango realized that she had been left behind and ran to catch up. The trio finally settled out of sight behind some bushes, but still at a comfortable distance to eavesdrop.

Meanwhile, Inuyasha had reached Kagome and was effectively blocking her path.

"Good morning, Inuyasha."

So intent was he on practicing Sango's words over and over in his head that Inuyasha met Kagome's greeting with an intense scowl and silence. Thinking that he was in one of his sour moods again, Kagome made to step around Inuyasha and continue on her way, but he only moved to block her again.

Before Kagome's annoyed words could leave her mouth, Inuyasha rushed out the first part of Sango's advice, "Kagome, I have something to tell you!"

Kagome was a bit startled by his forceful tone and intense look. She gave him a worried look in return and asked, "What is it, Inuyasha?"

"I…uh." He took a deep breath. "I have to tell you." He felt his face heating up with each syllable.

"Tell me what?"

Silence, followed by scuffling of feet as Inuyasha looked down at the stones scattered on the ground, up at the clouds, anywhere but Kagome's face.

"Um. Sango… She…" More silence.

"What about Sango?"

"No, no. This…this has nothing to do with Sango. Or Miroku and his lecherous thoughts. Or the runt's annoying goading! This is...um…you…"

For her part, Kagome was back to being annoyed. "Inuyasha, if you have something to say, then say it already. I still have to go collect herbs for Kaede-sama."

"Well, I'm trying to! Quit being so impatient, wench!" Inuyasha growled.

Kagome ground her teeth at the old insult, "Do you want breakfast or not? This early in the morning, you can try to be helpful by collecting firewood instead of standing in my way."

Kagome was trying to walk around him again, and Inuyasha felt like he was running out of time and courage. He quickly pulled his gaze back to her face and launched into whatever was on his mind.

"I…I wanted to tell you. I want to…to spend the rest of my life...collecting firewood. For you! Uh…because…because I like… I love… fire?"

By the time he reached his last word, all coherent thought had fled with the heat of embarrassment radiating off his face in waves. It was Kagome's turn to silently stare at Inuyasha. About ten feet away and behind some bushes, three groans of frustration followed by three loud smacks could be heard in unison. At the sound, Inuyasha turned to glare into the bushes while Kagome continued to blink and stare.

Finally, she reached out a hand to tentatively touch his shoulders. "Um, okay. Maybe… maybe you should go lie down for a bit, Inuyasha. Your face looks a bit red. It's unusually hot this morning. I think you might be having a heat stroke."

Inuyasha swiveled back around to Kagome. "What? Of course I'm not, you stupid wen – girl! Like I could be so weak!"

With those parting words, Inuyasha stomped angrily ahead, making his way towards the forest.

"Wait, where are you going?" Kagome called after him.

"What does it look like? To collect firewood!" He threw back over his shoulders as he leapt into the cover of the trees and out of sight.

Kagome shook her head and sighed as she continued on her path at a leisurely pace.

To be continued.