A/N: Hi everyone! This is a new story as you can see. I'm very excited to be coming out with this story, aren't you? Anyway…I have no idea where this came from, I just woke up one morning and it was in my head, so here we are. Now the first part should be a little comic relief for you. Also, there is a tad of Neji bashing if you squint…well I wouldn't call it bashing, just making fun of. Gomen Neji-kun!
Summary: AU. Sakura and Naruto go to psychiatrist about Sasuke and him being emotionally retarded. What types of things do they tell this stranger? "I still don't think he's gone through puberty yet…" "Cut him some slack Naruto, yes he has." "…" "Okay maybe not…"
Sakura talking
Naruto talking
Doctor talking
All right, that's all! I don't own Naruto. Please Enjoy!!!
My name is Haruno Sakura.
Oi! Oi! I'm Uzumaki Naruto!
Hush Naruto-baka! We don't need you shouting!
Ne, ne, Sakura-chan! Don't be so mean!
I'm not being mean you-argh! Whatever! I just want to get on with this. Gosh this is embarrassing…
Nah, I don't think so Sakura-chan! It's good to let your feelings out!
Ahem, if I may interject, what exactly are the two of you doing in my office right now?
Er…right! Well, uhm…Naruto and I…we-
We're getting married!
Baka! No we're not! Just stop talking!
Awh!
Ahem!
Right! Sorry! As I was saying, Naruto and I have a problem…
I figured that. Problems are usually why people come to psychiatrists. What is the problem?
It's teme!
It's…bastard?
What did I say about talking! His name is NOT teme. It's Uchiha Sasuke.
Ah. An Uchiha. Several people have come in the past with dilemmas concerning the Uchiha's. So what is it this time? Bent on world domination? Mass murder? Revenge?
Uhm…we just don't like his girlfriend.
Oh! I see…interesting. Tell me all about it.
Well, I guess it would make sense if we started from the very beginning then, huh?
Our Story
It all started the seventeen years ago, the week of September 12th. We were all born that week in the same hospital. Naruto was born that Sunday, Sasuke that Saturday and me that Wednesday. Our mother's rooms were all right next door to each other. Some say it was chance, a coincidence. I call it fate.
Unchangeable destiny that you can't avoid at all! It controls you-
Get out Neji!
As I was saying, we were all born in the same week. During their stay in the hospital, our mothers found out just how close in proximity they had been with each other without even realizing it. Of course they lived in Konoha, but it's a pretty big place and it's nearly impossible to know every single person in the village. After they got acquainted, they became really good friends and vowed that their children would be friends too.
We've known each other since birth!
Quit interrupting!
True to their vow, we did everything together. We all enrolled into early childhood together, did karate together, shared birthday parties. Naruto and Sasuke did baseball, I did softball. They did football, I did ballet. They did basketball, I did cheerleading. So and so forth. We were inseparable. That is…until middle school.
I never did like middle school…
Me neither…gah! Naruto!
Sorry! Sorry!
Grrr…right! In middle school we made other friends. Of course we were still the dynamic trio.
So lame…
Get out! I made friends with Yamanaka Ino, Hyuuga Hinata, and others while the boys befriended Nara Shikamaru, Inuzuka Kiba, etc. Things were going fine until puberty. You know that weird stage in a kid's life when they finally realize that the opposite sex no longer has cooties but is…attractive? Yeah…that.
It all started with Naruto. –sigh-
Why'd you sigh?
That's when you stopped being cute Naruto.
WHAT?! I've always been cute!
…
Moving on! Out of nowhere Naruto started calling me Sakura-chan . At first I thought nothing of it. That is…until he started hugging me and stuff and acting all weird. I had absolutely no idea what was going on and neither did Sasuke. Naruto was really starting to freak me out!
Really?
Yes! Then it hit me…Naruto liked me! I felt so stupid for not figuring it out sooner. I should've seen it coming, but I've always been book smart and not…that other kind of smart.
I think you're smart Sakura-chan!
Right…anyway. I figured it was nothing but a crush so I tried to let him down as best I could because I wasn't sure of my own feelings for him. Then it hit me next. I started to look at Naruto and Sasuke differently. It was like for thirteen years I had been blind and finally got some glasses. My best friends were hot!
Awh! You think I'm hot Sakura-chan?
…
-sigh- I never get satisfaction.
You're going to get something if you don't stop interrupting me! After trial and error with Naruto I realized that there was 1% of us ever happening.
Hey, it's something.
Then I started focusing more on Sasuke. I had always thought he was cute but cute turned into hot and before I knew it I was hooked. But it was a lot more subtle than his fan girls, who hated me by the way. But of course, Sasuke showed no signs of going through puberty like me and Naruto.
I still don't think he has…emotionless teme.
Cut him so slack Naruto, he has emotions.
Can I take over now?
Huh? Oh all right, just don't make crap up.
Fine, fine. So we get to high school and I'm all cool and stuff. Sakura-chan's my girl-
Don't you dare finish that sentence liar!
Who's a friend and Sasuke is my other friend. We were totally cool man! We ruled the school…well…the freshman class anyway. As usual Sakura was at the top of our class with Teme tailing her and me-
Dead last…
Sakura-chan! Fine! Okay…uhm…right! Me being the hot stud that I am, I had many admirers in high who all wanted to date me. Er…Teme had some too. And can you believe it?! Sakura-chan had a fanclub!
Not something I'm particularly proud of…
Pssh! I'd love to have a fan club! Back to the story. Even after all those years in middle school-
It was just three…
Sakura-chan still hadn't told Teme that she liked him. So, being the teme that he is, he never caught on and got himself a girlfriend that wasn't Sakura-chan.
Hence why we're here.
I see…so who is the Uchiha's girlfriend?
I was getting to that. She's a b-
Mou Naruto! Let me take over. Ahem…Sasuke-kun's girlfriend is a bitch named Karin! She's evil gosh darn it! She's a conniving little slut that just wants to take my poor Sasuke and rape him!
S-Sakura-chan…?
I freaking hate her and she needs to die! DIE BITCH!
Sakura-chan!
Eh? Oh…sorry. She just makes me so angry sometimes…
I see…why does she make you angry?
She's manipulating Sasuke-kun.
I see…how is she manipulating him?
I…she…and then…but uh…you get it right?
Ano…you didn't say anything…
-sigh-
Let me handle this Sakura-chan! Karin was the president of Teme's fan club and the president of the 'We hate Sakura' fan club.
Evil bitch…
Now if Teme didn't see why we didn't like her I have no idea why he's my best friend. Anyway, after they started dating Teme changed! It was horrible. He was slacking off in school and getting worse grades than me.
Still don't see how that was possible…
Hey! He started hanging around the 'bad guys' and stuff. He kind of pushed Sakura-chan and I aside. Then Karin started doing all this bad stuff to Sakura-chan but Teme didn't believe us…that's why we're here.
I see…now how does all this make you feel?
It makes me feels so hopeless. I think about it all the time! What life would be like I told him how I felt back in middle school. You know, would he be with me? Would I be the one he proposed to? Would I be the one he'd be marrying? All kinds of crazy thoughts. It drives me crazy just thinking about it. Especially since he won't listen to anything we say.
Hmm…what about you Naruto?
Sakura-chan and Teme are my best friends and I just want them to be happy. I can tell Teme isn't happy at all and neither is Sakura-chan. When they're not happy, I'm not happy. So…I guess I feel er…not happy?
Unhappy Naruto…
Yeah!
I see…well I'll analyze all this and get back to you in about three days. In the meantime the advice I can give to you is this. Don't let on that you're seeing me otherwise he'll see it as you going behind his back. Sakura, act as if you're okay with the relationship. Naruto you do the same. Try to do activities with it just being the two of you. Get his attention. Once you have it, I'll take over from there…understand?
Hai. Thank you so much!
Yeah! We really appreciate it!
It's no problem. Be strong you two.
The doctor smiled as the two left his office. Once the door had been closed shut, he looked at his pad and noticed odd drawing of ninja's fight that oddly resembled his patients. He sweatdropped and closed the notepad, dropping it on his desk. He rose from his seat and walked over to the window where he watched the two walk towards the parking lot.
He sighed and rubbed a hand over his forehead. This situation wasn't something that he was used to dealing with. He was a psychiatrist not a counselor! Nonetheless, he took on the case for the sake helping people who had a dilemma.
"I hate my life…"
A/N: