Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. If I were it's creator, Bella would have more personality and probably attitude, Edward nor Jacob would be the leading men, and vampires would definitely NOT sparkle.
A/n: As stated above, I don't believe in Vampires sparkling, therefore I'm changing the mythology of vampires in this story a little in that they will be a little closer to the classic vampires, and also not sparkle (although, the sun won't burn them and they will be impervious to stakes, and garlic). I'm going to try to make every chapter more thank 5K and hope to close the story at around ten chapters. (Hopefully.)
Warnings: I'm undecided if I will add lemons, but there will definitely be language, adultery and I plan on breaking up Bella and Edward. I'm thinking this story will have side of Leaward. Also, Esme is not Carlisle's mate, but still his wife. If any of that just rubs you the wrong way enough to desire to flame, then don't continue reading.
Updates are contingent on interest, so review if you desire more.
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Crystallized
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"The truth is that I'm not so good,
At showing how I feel
Or keeping my mouth shut
When there's something to conceal.
Or knowing how to love,
Love's not in my memories."
-Staind, Run Away
~Lene~
He was dead.
I knew it was coming. After all, I'd been waiting for the moment when he'd slip away.
Years ago... it had been what I most desired: His long, painful, and drawn out death. But as I stood over his shell, I couldn't help feeling as hollow as he was.
I wasn't relieved as I once expected to be, nor did I feel joy. Instead, what I felt slowly trying to throw off the icy grip on my feelings that I always kept, was a sense of grief.
And somewhere along the way, somewhere in these last couple weeks, before his last, shuddering breath, I found the hate and anger had melted away, leaving space for forgiveness.
But without that anger and resentment I'd held on to, was left a void. And I couldn't help feeling lost.
X
I wasn't prepared for an ambush as I stepped out of the hospital.
I was so lost, not certain what I was supposed to be feeling but awash with dysphoria just the same, that I didn't even smell them.
It wasn't until I was within arms reach, that the instinct became too strong to ignore- that sixth sense that even humans have, when a possible threat is too close.
The moment I looked up at the familiar, inhumanly beautiful and pale faces, the ice started to spread. It was like a film of frost, numbing and anesthetizing, spread through my body.
My previous sense of nostalgia and grief disappeared beneath what felt like a hardened layer of ice and before anger, surprise and confusion could take hold of me at the unexpected apparition before me, my emotions seemed to disconnect.
I felt as if I was barely inhabiting my body.
Twitching a sleek brow, I stared unimpressed at the pair before me, for a moment uncertain why they were there. It was simply incomprehensible.
"What are you doing here?" I asked in deadpan, my voice barely above a whisper.
"We're looking for you of course!" The bell-like voice was almost aggravating in it's perfection. However, I was content that at least it wasn't in an extremely high pitch.
I raised a brow once more.
"Why?" I asked, feeling some of my frustration crack through the surface. My gaze flickered to the blonde male beside his mate as I noticed his muscles twitch and forced myself to relax and readjust, letting calm slowly replace the wall.
"We want you to come home," Alice replied with hope, my emotionless regard not fazing her, but then very little could ruffle Alice when she was on a mission. The pint-sized vampire, who was even smaller in stature than I was and made even me look like an Amazon, was hard to get down.
"Home?"
A year ago, I might have sneered at the presumption of Alice to refer to the Cullen family as my home, but tonight, I wasn't quite feeling like myself... in fact I couldn't allow myself to truly feel anything.
"We have very different ideas of what home is, Alice," I went on with an impatient wave of the hand. "And unlike you and Jasper, I'm not welcome amongst the Cullens.
"It was nice to see you again, Alice, Jasper," I said dismissively, turning to walk away.
My relationship to the Cullens was strained, to say the least. Though I rightfully belonged to the coven, as their patriarch was responsible for my creation, none of the Cullen "children" ever accepted me. And really, I can't blame them. After all, I nearly destroyed their perfect family.
But Alice and Jasper, they were always... they didn't condemn me for my sin. Perhaps because they hadn't been a part of the coven as long as the rest... perhaps because they were there, since the moment I changed...
Somehow, they understood and didn't blame me...
"We need your help..." Alice called after me, into the night. But I did not pause or turn, merely continuing to walk away, willing to put the Cullens out of my mind once more... though they could never fully be put from my mind... the vampire mind was simply too vast and powerful that nothing could ever really escape it. "Carlisle needs you!"
And at that, my steps faltered. My being seemed to come to a screeching halt, my muscles all tensing at the name I couldn't bring myself to ever utter... the one name I wanted most erased from my mind and heart.
If I could breathe, I would've felt breathless. If I had a heart, it would have stopped.
Pain pulsed inside me so bitterly strong that all that anesthetic ice inside me fell away, leaving me open and vulnerable, emotions washing through me like a tidal wave.
I couldn't move under the weight of all the emotions and thoughts assaulting me. There was hurt, anger and resentment; there was longing and grief and love. Memories I didn't allow myself to dwell on came rushing in.
And then there was overwhelming worry. For him.
I tilted my head towards the two, but keeping it ducked down. I couldn't speak, emotion choking me and making it impossible to form words.
"There is an army of New Borns... they're coming for our family... if you don't come back with us, there won't be enough of us to survive the battle that's coming," Alice explained quickly, her voice pleading as she took a step closer, but never coming too close.
I turned around, unable to believe what I was hearing, but knowing it was true from the grave expressions that both Alice and Jasper bore.
I frowned, not knowing how or why the Cullens had gotten in such a situation, but knowing that no matter the reason that I couldn't leave him to face it alone. Even if he wasn't alone, even if he had the rest of his family. I simply couldn't let him face it, and do nothing.
"So where are we going to then?" I asked with a grimace, feeling anxiety pulling itself into a large mass in my abdomen at the thought of facing them all, before I forced myself to disconnect form the situation.
Alice smiled in what might have been relief as she reached for Jasper's hand and gave it a squeeze.
"Forks."
X
Alice had come prepared it seemed, carrying identification for me. It wasn't long before we were on a plane and headed for Washington.
To pass the time, I asked Alice and Jasper to explain to me why there was an army of New Borns after the Cullens. Though Alice and Jasper seemed reluctant, they revealed the details of the past year or so and as they want on, I could see why they were so hesitant about telling me.
They believed if I knew the details, that I wouldn't have come.
As it was... there was really no way I could have stayed away if danger was coming for Carlisle, but that didn't mean that I wasn't angry about the situation, just the same.
"So Edward went and got himself a human pet," I couldn't help sneering with disdain.
"Bella is more than that," Alice frowned from her seat next to me, though she was across the isle. We were flying first class of course, which I might have found equal parts disgusting and amusing if I weren't concentrated on something else. The Cullens always did afford the best; if I'd stayed with them I might have been used to it already.
I leaned forward, to look across to Jasper who for the most part, had remained silent.
"But she's not his mate... if she were, he would've changed her when that tracker first set his eyes on her," I pointed out coldly, glaring over at the pair. But it wasn't them with whom I was angry. It was Edward...
Bratty, spoilt Edward, who always got his way. Whom Carlisle always allowed to get away with everything, even bloody murder.
It was just like Edward, to risk the entire family, just because of a little infatuation.
"Edward has been alone for a long time," Alice replied after a few moments; not refuting my statement but still sticking up for Eddie.
I guessed that Alice and Jasper must not believe this Bella was Edward's mate either. Which did nothing to improve my mood, even if it did validate my thoughts.
I shook my head, leaning it back against the head rest and closed my eyes to will away the anger and frustration. But it wouldn't go away.
For whatever reason, Edward was always the one I got along with the least, the one who made me want to rip his throat out, more than any other being on earth.
It was his superior attitude, his childishness, his ability to read minds but have no understanding for anyone- no compassion. Even for a vampire, I always found him to be far more selfish than any other of our kind that I'd met.
Rosalie could be a bitch; she could be unreasonable, but even she was capable of more compassion than Edward.
"Fair warning... I have no intention of playing nice with Eddie," I hissed below breath, because no matter the circumstance, I didn't think I would ever like or forgive Edward.
Alice and Jasper didn't respond, and I sunk in to the seat, careful not to break it as I concentrated on preparing myself for the coming ordeal.
And it was an ordeal.
The Cullens all, resented me. Not Jasper and Alice so much... but Edward, Rosalie and even Esme didn't want me around.
Emmett, being easy going as he is, remains neutral on the subject. As far as I can gage, he doesn't hate or blame me and even tries to be friendly, but I wouldn't really say he's on my team any more than Jasper and Alice.
And Carlisle... he's a bleeding heart. He couldn't ever hate or resent anyone.
The moment I set foot in their mansion or whatever it is they're inhabiting to pretend they're human, they're all going to bristle and attack.
Well perhaps not Esme, she is far too polite and kind for that. But the sentiment will be there just the same.
Really, I shouldn't care and the truth is, I don't. I can give as good as I get and it takes a hell of a lot to touch my feelings, especially with my gift. But Carlisle... he's my kryptonite and everyone knows it.
My power always seemed to fail, when I was around Carlisle. At least in regards to him. The only way I can disconnect my emotions from him, separate them away from myself and tuck them neatly away, is if I'm far away from him, and can't see him or hear him. That whole, out of sight, out of mind thing helps.
Going back to him... it meant opening old woulds that never healed, merely crystalized.
And I wasn't ready for that. In truth, I'm not sure enough time could pass, for me to be ready for it and I'd hoped though I was sure it was in vain, that I'd never see him again. For it all to remain buried.
But fate was a bitch... and I'd learned that the hard way.
X
"Edward will be in school," Alice stated as we made our way up the long drive to the Cullen mansion. It was early in the morning, but the rain was thankfully keeping the sun from making it's appearance.
I've never been a huge fan of the sun when I was human. As far as I was concerned, it's light was great, but I detested the heat.
After I changed... being in the sun produced a crippling kind of pain, so painful it was like an excruciating death, only it could not actually kill us.
Even now, ten years after my change, I was still not used to the pain like vampires who'd been around for more than a couple of decades, but at least it no longer brought me to my knees.
"Great," I muttered, happy that at least I had a few hours, Edward-free. Unfortunately, I still had to see Rosalie, Esme and Carlisle.
I swallowed the imaginary lump that built in my throat as the car came to a stop and we all started to pile out, me at a much slower rate. Thankfully, whoever was home, didn't seem to think a whole lot about Alice and Jasper's return, as I did my best to be soundless in my slow approach.
Alice had always been the most graceful out of the coven. She pranced around, like a ballerina impersonating a fairy who was floating on clouds.
But for my part, I'd always been the quietest. My steps so light, they might have been fluffy snowflakes, kissing the ground.
Before I was really prepared, we were inside and Alice was calling to whoever was home, telling them she was back.
I stopped breathing before I even stepped inside, turning to shut the door behind myself even as I heard the sound of various and vampire-quick steps all come from different parts of the mansion to where we were. I didn't think I could take, smelling his wonderful scent, knowing surely that just one whiff would send those icy crystals formed around my feelings for him, crashing into millions of pieces.
In that sense, you can say I'm a master escapist or an ingenious emotion-runaway.
"Alice?" Carlisle questioned, seeming confused and I assumed he noticed my presence, but didn't recognize me, as my back was to the rest, my inky-black hair completely shielding me.
Well, there is no avoiding it, I thought, forcing myself to turn around and not duck my head as I did so.
A female gasp sounded, and though I kept my eyes up and forward, I tried to block out Esme from my vision where she stood on Carlisle's right.
I ignored Carlisle too, even as I felt the crystal cracking inside me. I tried desperately to keep it whole, and focused on Rosalie and Emmett where they stood next to each other and on the stairs. Predictably, Rosalie crossed her arms, though she wasn't scowling or glaring near as much as I expected her to. Even so, her words were expected, even if they sounded confused and wary, more than irritated.
"What are you doing here?!"
I narrowed my eyes on her, but did not respond, merely choosing to point towards the pixie, who'd moved a little father into the entryway.
"Alice?" Carlisle asked once more his voice now distant and vague. It pierced right through my armor, that indifference, even knowing that I was the one that put it there.
I winced in pain, clenching my fists and trying desperately to keep it from showing. To keep the mask in place.
I immediately felt numb, and knew that it wasn't thanks to my own gift. Turning to look at Jasper who was eyeing me with a strained expression, I offered him a nod of gratitude, to which he marginally inclined his head.
"I think it's best to wait for Edward, so I could tell you all. But I went looking for Maggie, so she can help us with our Victoria problem. Which is much bigger than we knew," Alice explained patiently and in her tinkling voice and I chose to focus all my intent on her, though I wasn't really. Folding my arms across my chest, my true focus was inward, trying to repair the damage to the walls that were protecting me... as much as they could.
"Perhaps we should move to this to the living room," Carlisle state in the same distant tones, his voice coming through as if I were hearing it from under water.
Automatically, I moved along with the rest of them and while for the most part, the Cullens arranged themselves into seated positions, I, like Rosalie and Jasper, remained standing.
That was perhaps the one thing I had in common with both Rosalie and Jasper... I never could let my guard down.
I found myself instead, standing by the baby grand piano, fingering delicately the instrument. I knew of course it must be Edward's, and there was a certain amount of pleasure I took form touching it, knowing that it would greatly annoy him.
Vaguely, I was aware of the Cullens watching me, but I ignored them and played a few keys.
Learning to play the piano, the guitar, the bass, the violin... It was something I'd always wanted to do. One of the many forms of arts that I'd wanted desperately to learn even when I was human, but could never afford... I'd left the Cullens before I ever got the chance to learn to play.
"Where have you been?" Esme asked, her voice full of curiosity, and strained to remain polite and pleasant. The tension in the room seemed to mount, but I let it flow past me and didn't turn, keeping my attention instead locked on the piano, shielding my profile from their view with my long hair.
"Home... in Chicago, looking after my family," I replied aloofly, my fingers still pressing the keys slowly, the high notes lingering in the air and fading almost completely before I struck the next note, my gaze locked intensely on my long and inhumanly pale fingers.
"Have you been in contact with them?" Carlisle asked, and I could hear a frown in his voice.
If I shut my eyes, I could picture his face perfectly; that otherworldly beauty that made him as striking as an angel, from the very first time my eyes locked on him. Those golden orbs, shining with kindness and compassion, with dark blonde brows, furrowed over them in concern that was consuming.
I didn't close my eyes.
"Of course not. Just... watching them," I replied somewhat bitterly.
Even before I died, I'd detached myself from them. I didn't want them to see me sick... I didn't want them to know about the dreadful virus I'd contracted- didn't want them to recoil from my touch-
But even so, the possibility had existed, that if I wanted to, I could have contacted them.
Being dead... being this, I had to cut ALL contact and all possibility of it.
"You've been in Chicago... all this time?" Carlisle asked slowly, his voice sounding numb but with the barest tint of incredulity.
I couldn't help sneering. Wondering briefly if he'd always wondered where I'd disappeared to. If he ever thought of going out, searching for me through the world, and I was right where anyone with common sense would have expected me to be.
But I shook my head. Carlisle probably never gave me any thought... because implanted in his mind were walls that would keep him from feeling for me.
"Yes," I whispered simply, pumping layer upon continuous layer of icy crystal, repairing the constant cracks.
"I should hunt," I finally murmured as the awkward and tense silence continued to stretch on and on, better than the alternative of fighting – and just why was Rosalie being so silent and keeping a rein on her contempt and hostility?- but still tiring just the same. But what could you have to talk about to the black sheep of the family, once it's returned to ruin your perfect existence once more? "I haven't fed in days."
I wasn't feeling particularly thirsty, but I needed to get away from the stifling atmosphere. I suppose my lack of appetite followed me into this afterlife from when I was human.
"You must hunt with someone, as you are not-"
"We'll join Maggie and show her where to hunt," Alice volunteered and I tried not to shudder at the shortening of my name. The Cullens were possibly the first, to refer to me by it... mostly because anyone else that tried before, I had shot down.
Except for Rosalie and Edward, who both called me Magdalene, using the English pronunciation of it. I'd always detested, being called by my full name, which is why they stick to it; using it as if it is an insult synonymous with home-wrecking bitch.
My friends and loved ones usually referred to be as Lene (pronounced the Spanish way, like Leh-neh).
Carlisle called me Lene...
"Let's go then," I said as I felt my emotional center crack, as if lightning had struck. I barely contained myself from gasping in pain, even as I flew towards the door. I was out before anyone could say anything more, but Alice and Jasper were quick on my heels. It wasn't until I heard another two sets of footsteps that I turned to look back.
"Why are you coming?" I asked Rosalie, who tagged along with Emmett.
"I missed you little sis!" Emmett stated, smiling largely and trying to lighten the mood. I arched a brow in turn.
"Unfinished business," Rosalie stated simply.
"That can wait," Alice piped up, before appearing beside me, but not getting too close. The Cullens were all aware that my personal bubble was at least five foot radius and to cross it, would be seen by me as an attempt at attacking and I would react accordingly. "Ready for your tour?"
I merely motioned for Alice to show the way. She pointed out as we explored the forrest where their territory ended and the wolves' land began, reminding me, though it was unnecessary, that to set foot on Quilleute land was to invite war.
It was a few hours, before we were all done and performing the ritual of hiding the bodies. A task I was performing mindlessly and automatically, not really giving any thought to carcass I was essentially burying after I killed it.
"Why are you back?" Rosalie asked, before we'd all even finished.
"Because I missed my lovely, undead family," I retorted sarcastically, my voice low and still monotonous.
Rosalie snarled.
"Alice already told you," I reminded the blonde, shooting a look in her direction. "As soon as it's over and done... I'll be gone and you can all go on pretending to be the perfect family that was sent from above."
"What did you do to Carlisle?" Rosalie shot, causing me to stop and turn to look at her with a furrowed brow.
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since you left... I thought he would be," Rosalie frowned deeply, her arms cross over her chest but she shook her head. "It was like he didn't feel anything at all. He just acted like a zombie... and that's not like him. Even now, I thought he'd be happy you returned... like with Edward when he'd left Carlisle, but it was like you're an old acquaintance that just popped back into his life to say hello, not the girl he nearly ruined his family for."
I abandoned my shallow grave and arched a brow at Rosalie.
"What about this bothers you, exactly? I thought you'd be happy to be proved right, that I meant nothing to Carlisle but another child he'd mistakenly created?" I snapped in turn, because Rosalie was chipping away at the hardened sphere where Carlisle lived inside my heart.
"She used her power... to disconnect emotions, on him," Jasper explained, coming closer to where he stood, his arms held behind his back, his voice smooth and certain. "There is a void in Carlisle, where Maggie is concerned."
I didn't confirm or deny, but he was right. Though my heart clenched painfully at the description.
I was a void inside Carlisle; how apt and yet awful just the same.
"I thought your power was just those ice crystals," Emmett stated curiously as he came over.
"My power is physical and mental," I replied simply, "But their two sides of the same coin. And yes, I used my power so that Carlisle could have peace... so everything could go back to the way it was."
Rosalie scoffed, crossing her arms. "You would've had to block yourself from Esme's mind too then."
I raised a brow at that, even as I felt guilt swell inside me.
Had Esme been unable to forgive Carlisle, in spite of her kind nature? Had I miscalculated her magnanimity?
I let my inner gaze wander back to the scene, when I'd entered into the mansion. Carlisle and Esme had not touched, even in spite of standing very close to each other.
In my photographic memory... that steel trap that was the vampire mind, I could see them clearly as if I had focused completely on them.
Esme had stood, arms wrapped around herself, her face concerned, her body tilted as if she had wanted to lean into Carlisle's reassuring embrace, but couldn't bring herself to actually touch him... to seek it out.
Carlisle himself had stood, his marble face clear as a classical statue, void of any emotion. His golden eyes seemed as if a film lay over them, preventing them from seeing and interpreting... from letting what was before him touch his heart.
It was as it should have been, but heart-breaking all the same. I had to turn away, to hide the tears that had welled in my eyes suddenly at the memory of it- tears that would never be shed. I was sure Jasper was aware of my emotions, and I felt grateful that Jasper was discreet and a gentleman. It was perhaps the reason that he was my favorite Cullen, outside of Carlisle.
"Then you can relay to Esme if you want, that she has nothing to worry about. I've learned my lesson," and with that, I was rushing back and the conversation was over.
They weren't long behind in following.
It must've been perfect timing, or fate- that bitch- that when we were stepping through the backdoor and making our way into the mansion, that Edward was walking in through the front door.
"What the she doing here?!" Edward hissed, rushing in quickly in spite of the human he was toting behind him, his words low and venomous, speaking at vampire speed. His nostrils were flared; he must've caught my scent.
"Hello to you too, brother," I replied sarcastically, malice in my voice even as I focused my eyes on the confused and startled human.
Large chocolate eyes, eyes almost as big as my own, were staring at Edward with concern, before darting to me in slight fear.
The girl wasn't much to look at- and Edward growled, reminding me as I flicked my eyes to his face, that he could read my thoughts.
I shrugged at him, completely unconcerned with his feelings as he'd never had any regard for mine.
"That's because you're feelings don't warrant any empathy," Edward hissed, his tone bratty and I ignored him, instead staring at the human once more, who was arguably pretty, but mostly plain.
She had long, somewhat curly, chocolate hair that seemed to match her eyes. Her figure was slender, but almost devoid of curves. She was pale, but even my skin tone had become paler than hers, causing my heart to twinge.
When I was human, my skin had been a light tan, as if kissed by the sun. I was the lightest skinned member of my family, but even so, my skin tone was a few shades darker than olive-toned skin.
While I was not as pale as the Cullens, the change in my skin tone was one of the things I missed about myself- one of the things that I'd never thought I'd miss, one of the many changes that made it unbearable for me to look in the mirror in the first years of my change because I really couldn't see myself, only what I'd become.
I imagine one day I'll look in the mirror, and no longer remember what I looked like when I was human. Perhaps I'll even forget that the change, had marginally altered my features.
But for now, it still hurt to look inside the mirror.
The tiny bump on the bridge of my nose, small enough to make my features slightly ambiguous in regards to nationality, but big enough to see even when I wore glasses, had disappeared when I woke to my new life.
My lashes, which had always been dark and sooty, had grown longer and now curved over my eyes, changing the way they looked enough for me to notice the difference.
My hair, which was silky and always as shiny as white gold, had grown out so that it reached the small of my back. But unlike when I was human, it didn't seem thinner at the tips any longer. And though my hair had always been pin straight, natural waves had been added to it.
That's not counting the changes to my body. Muscle tone had been added to it, though I'd always been thin. The scars, any distinctive marks... they'd all disappeared, like my history had been erased.
The first time I caught sight of myself in the mirror, staring at the pale beauty staring back at me with red eyes, it took me a few moments to recognize that I was looking at myself. The changes were by no means drastic... but I'd felt like my individuality had faded and I was turned into a mass-produced barbie.
I broke that mirror and have avoided them since.
It's not as if I need to look at them... this perfection is permanent and unchanging.
"Are you still whining about that?" Edward scoffed, still speaking quickly, his tone cold and sneering.
I raised a brow at him.
"You really shouldn't talk about whining, after all haven't you been whining and sulking for over a century?" I shot back, narrowing my eyes on him.
His response was a growl, his hand automatically turning into a claw. His body twitched forward as if he considered taking a step toward me, but Carlisle's commanding voice rung out into the stillness.
"Edward!" he called simply in reprimanding tones, and Edward took hold himself. Childishly, I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but didn't. "Magdalene," he went on in his stoic and detached tone, wounding me more deeply than I wished and allowing Edward to know as he smiled gloatingly at me, "Is here to help. Now why don't we all gather and hear form Alice why she asked Magdalene to join us."
"I'm sorry, but who is she?" the girl beside Edward asked, even as he escorted her far away from me and towards one of the couches. I moved to take residence once more by Edward's precious piano, causing him to grit his teeth.
"The black sheep," I replied before Edward could get over his facial tick.
"Someone Carlisle made the mistake of turning, just over ten years ago," Edward replied coolly, causing Esme to reprimand him for being rude. I would've rolled my eyes, but instead decided to lean against the piano, much to Edward's annoyance.
I couldn't really help it, arguing with Edward gave me somewhere to focus my resentment and bitterness. And if I could focus on hating him, rather than focusing on Carlisle, all for the better.
"But we don't need her help," Edward replied, turning to glare at Alice now as he tried to regain that gentlemanly composure he's so proud of, but that I never quite believed in.
In my mind, Emmett was a truer gentleman. He might say things that were crude, and his past might have been littered with a fair few one-night stands when he was human, but his actions spoke louder than his words.
"We do need her," Alice argued and she must've thought of the vision she'd seen, because Edward didn't really seem to care that I was there suddenly. Instead, he'd wrapped his arms protectively around the girl.
I turned out the discussion that followed, as Alice informed them of all the things she'd told me of Victoria's plan and the coming of the New Born army, vaguely aware of Bella giving me curious but wary glances now and then.
"They'll outnumber us," Carlisle said gravely and I ignored the way Esme grabbed hold of his hand for comfort.
"That's why I sought out Maggie, her gift would give us an advantage; all she has to do is touch them," Alice replied.
"What gift?" Bella asked.
I couldn't help smirking.
"Don't you dare!" Edward hissed, getting halfway to his feet as he saw what I'd planned.
But he was too late. Before he was fully upright, I'd already touched my index finger to his precious, white piano and in that second, it became encased in a crystal-like substance that was so hard that it rivaled our very body-structure and so icy cool to the touch, that our skin by comparison felt as warm as a summer day.
Bella's eyes widened as she took in the smooth, gleaming surface that seemed to glow blue-white.
"A vampire encased in this, can't break free of it. One graze of my fingers, and they're rendered immobile," I explained, before looking towards Edward. "Should I show her what else the crystals can do? If manipulate the miniscule atoms so that they seep into the wood and crystalize, destroying your piano from the inside?"
Edward shook with rage.
"Magdalene," Carlisle chastised simply and I caved as I always seemed to with him.
I rolled my eyes- thinking that it wasn't as if they couldn't buy another fucking piano, but of course little baby Eddie can't be upset in the least.
The crystal retracted, the wood groaning as if in relief and I absorbed it back into myself. I shifted in momentary discomfort.
I wasn't sure why the iciness was so effortless to expel, but when absorbing it back in myself, it felt so biting. The only thing I could liken the sensation to, was diving into arctic waters in your underwear... icy needles stabbing every nerve and into your flesh.
"That doesn't really help us. Every New Born she touches can't be destroyed, the crystal will protect them from fire, and we won't even be able to tear their bodies apart," Edward argued, determined not to accept that I could help.
"I've come a long way in learning to control my gift," I retorted, showing him that I'd learned how to break things into tiny shards, without touch. That I could retract the ice, from up to three feet away without having to physically touch the crystals.
'They'll take too long, reattaching all those tiny pieces... they'll burn before they can form even a limb,' I thought at Edward.
"Of course, none of this would be necessary if you followed the rules, and stayed away from the human, living at the margins as you're supposed to."
Edward narrowed his eyes at me, once more gritting his teeth as Carlisle sighed.
"Preaching to the choir," Rosalie stated coldly, arms crossed over her chest where she stood against one of the walls.
Briefly Edward turned to glare at her before turning back to me.
"You're one to judge," he spat heatedly. "Given your mistakes!"
Bella tensed where she sat, looking up at Edward with concern. Had he not seen what a monster he was?
"If you love her so much, then surely you can't live without her? So why didn't you just change her or let her turn when the nomad bit her?" I spat in turn, feeling rage building up inside me.
"Because I'm not that selfish, I want to her to live a normal, human life!"
I wonder if Carlisle would have winced at that, but I knew he felt nothing about it... he couldn't. And I didn't even turn to gaze at him, knowing that I wouldn't see anything. Instead I focused on the anger I felt at Edward, who selfishly dragged his family and the human into this situation.
"You ruined her chances of that by merely talking to her! You know we're death to all humans, especially when we get close to them! When we let them see us for what we are!" I retorted my voice raising to match his.
"But I want to change," the girl suddenly said, standing up, trying to stop the argument and my head whipped to her. "I want to become one of you..."
"You don't know what you're asking for," I spat, feeling disgust that she would choose to throw her humanity away. "Why would you throw it away for someone who is going to leave you the moment he meets his mate?"
Bella, the girl, looked at Edward with horror and fear, seeking reassurances. But Edward was glaring at me.
"Bella is my mate."
"Your assertions don't convince me. Actions always speak louder than words, and if Bella was your mate, you would have changed her yourself, the moment you realized her life was in danger. And you never would have been able to leave her. A vampire can't live without their mate, won't stand anything threatening their lives. You would have changed her and made her indestructible as you, just so you would never go a day or night without her," I hissed, speaking at a vampire rate in speed.
"Then how could you leave Carlisle?" Edward spat in turn, also speaking in a low and inhumanly quick hiss.
And just like that, I didn't respond, because I didn't want to bring out the skeletons in front of Carlisle and Esme. Because I planned to pretend the past didn't exist, where they were concerned.
I glared at Edward, but found myself remembering the night I left. How painful it had been, to say goodbye to Carlisle, to plant my crystal walls inside his mind so that he wouldn't have to feel my departure...
I'm still not sure, how I made it far enough away from Carlisle, knowing that I'd never see him again, in order to be able to start building the crystal fortress inside myself.
Every step I took, undid the walls I built, but the farther I ran from him, the less they seemed to break until finally, I was far enough away that they seemed indestructible and I existed more like a hollow and lifeless doll.
"I hope the day you find your mate, that I can witness it for myself, just so I can watch that self-righteous arrogance, crumble and we see if you have the strength to fight your nature, or if you show the monster you truly are," I retorted in quiet, cruel tones before turning on my heel and heading for the door, but not before tracing my hand over the piano surface.
By the time I reached the door, the piano was already shattering into tiny pieces, like my heart.
TBC...
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