Memoirs of a Yakusha

by Angelus Eros Weiss

A child separated from his two siblings. The people who he had encountered along the way to his success, the times full of sorrow and hatred. His first love breaking his heart… Kankurou tells the story on how he became one of the most successful Yakushas.

1. Separation

Title : Memoirs of a Yakusha

Author : Angelus Eros Weiss

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto.

OOCness and Alternative Universe

Rated : M (for safety)

Warning : Some sexual themes (on upcoming chapters), foul language.

Angelus Eros Weiss here! After my long absence has come back with a new fanfic, Memoirs of a Yakusha… I know the title's not that… nice… do not flame me. Anyway, I have been reading too much 'Memoirs of a Geisha' I love that book. That made me make this, I heard someone did a fic on Naruto based on this book as well. I just want to tell you, I just heard about it, but I was already making this fic by the time I heard it. So please, do not flame me that I stole your idea or something. Like the book, this is from Kankurou's point of view like I have said in the summary. Anyway, Kabuki is so fascinating that I made it into this, I do not know that much about it yet but what the hell, I am going to make something about it! Anyway, Yakusha means actor. Like it said on the summary.

Summary : As a child separated from his two siblings. The people who he had encountered along the way to his success, the times full of sorrow and hatred. His first love breaking his heart… Kankurou tells the story on how he became one of the most successful Yakushas (Actors) at Kabuki.

Chapter 1 : Separation

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kankurou's POV

Just think that the two of us are sitting in a quiet room at a cool evening. Crickets heard as every second passed by. You are sitting across me and in between us, our tea placed on a table. As usual, I have my chin rested on one of my hands in a bored manner as I talk to you about 'this guy' and 'that guy' I have met in one of my Kabuki plays. After a few minutes, you suddenly ask me why I even became a Kabuki actor. I suddenly grew silent and looked at you, thinking that it offended me of some way. I just gave you a sigh and then told my story that I did not choose to become a Kabuki actor from the beginning. I was born at a small fishing village. It was so long ago. Even so, I could still remember those times I had with my two siblings, my older sister Temari and my brother, younger than me by two years, Gaara.

I remember the times when we three would watch otoosan place his fishing nets and other supplies inside his boat. It was not really a beautiful boat. It had scratches due to the times when it would hit on one of the rocks near shore. It was old; my otoosan told us that he had not ever changed a boat since he was about… I do not know, since he started fishing I guess and that is a long time. After looking at our otoosan sail away into the sea, which is the time when we three would start playing, since we had nothing to do at those times. I remember when my sister would always be tagged first and run after us with her face red in annoyance of why she is always the first tagged because of this, we run even faster in hope of not being captured by the annoyed one. This would last until Gaara suddenly gets tired from running and rests in the middle of the game making him vulnerable. Well we play more games but that is another story.

As you could see, I do not mention my okaasan, anywhere as if I forgot about her. To tell you the truth I did not, she died giving birth to my younger brother Gaara. I could remember those times, I was only two then but I could not forget that time, Temari and I were waiting outside, the room where mom was inside. We sat on a wooden bench; I swung my legs back and forth keeping myself occupied. Temari was just looking out of the window, gazing at the sparkling sea in all its glory. To tell you the truth, the two of us were excited to have our new sibling, 'Would it be a boy or a girl?' that question lurked deep within my mind and I guess Temari's as well. Until suddenly I heard okaasan screaming, making me stop my legs from swinging and look towards the door worried. "Don't worry she will be okay." Temari told me, as she placed her hand on top of mine trying to calm me down. Somehow, I felt uneasy, I did not know what was going on but the apprehension would not leave me. I prayed that okaasan would be safe and later on, I could see her sweet smile again with my younger sibling cradled in her arms.

That thought made me a little comfortable… a little. It was only a while until the screaming started to tone down until it completely stopped. There was one thing that came into my mind that time, my okaasan's sweet smile. I started to get restless, making Temari restrain me for being too energetic from the excitement. After a few seconds, one of the old women helping my okaasan in her labor came out. She had a sad expression on her face. She faced the two of us, "I have news to tell you." She continued, on giving out a sigh somehow having a hard time to tell us what was going on, "Your okaasanKarura has gone to the clouds." she said it to us making it as simple as possible. Most of the time to children of that age of mine, we think that heaven is up at the sky, the clouds itself, visible to our innocent eyes. I could remember Temari falling into tears along with me. Okaasan was gone now, I could do nothing to bring her back, her body was cremated and her ash thrown at the sea by our father who requested to do so. She was able to name that younger sibling of mine with her last breath and that name was Gaara. At first, I somehow resented him, he was the reason okaasan, died in the first place, that was what I thought but Temari just held him in her arms and even if she was young, she decided to help dad with Gaara. While it took me about a few months until Temari was sick at bed and dad was out. I was the only one left with Gaara as a baby continuously crying at first I watched him but I could help but give him what he wanted.

Anyway, moving on, one day, when I was about seven years old, my uncle Yashamaru came to our home, I was the first to greet him and told me that he wanted to see otoosan. Temari just managed to arrive while he told that to me and lead him to the room where otoosan was resting. I followed them and as Temari left to continue her chores, I eavesdropped on what they were talking about by the looks of things it did not sound good. They were talking about the business of the fishermen in this village and I could hear Uncle Yashamaru saying something like, boats bigger than theirs came and started to capture most of the fishes, leaving little for us. I could see my father with his arms crossed, he looked down and gave out a sigh. I continued on listening. I could not remember the actual words he said but he said it similar to this, "This is bad, how could I tell Temari, Kankurou and Gaara about this, they are still too young to start working." He looked towards uncle Yashamaru and his eyes widened as if a god himself had appeared before him. "Yashamaru, you work at a restaurant here at a town near here right? Maybe you could take care of my children for me." he then continued on hoping that Yashamaru would accept, "I won't have enough money to support my children right now but I will be able to repay you sooner or later."

I could see uncle Yashamaru thinking deeply about it and he gave out a nod, I knew he agreed but I did not get through their whole conversation since I suddenly felt Gaara tug on my shirt. He asked me to go and play with him; I took a quick peek first and saw my uncle and otoosan standing up. This made me wonder what my uncle's conditions were but I just ignored it and played with my brother, somehow sad about what my father just said. I was not worried about Temari disagreeing with this but I was worried about Gaara not being able to cope with the sudden changes. A few days later, otoosan told us to pack our bags, we would already be moving to our uncle's home. Otoosan walked with the three of us until we reached our uncle's place. I looked up, it was somehow big for a man with uncle Yashamaru's status, well I thought he was just like a waiter at the restaurant, until I found out that he owned the restaurant himself. Otoosan left us by the time; we arrived there and told us to take care. We knocked on the door and after a while, a woman wearing a simple kimono and with triangular markings on both his cheeks opened the door. She was the maid, she looked at us and said, "You must be the three Yashamaru-sama is waiting for, come inside." After we came in, she shut the door and headed down the hall. Temari followed her first; I looked down at my side to see Gaara having a tight grip on my top, I could not blame him, I too was scared on what was going to happen. I then followed the maid whom I later knew, named Inuzuka Hanna. Hanna led us to a room where Yashamaru was sitting right before a table with a cup of tea set on it.

He told us to sit down and so we three did, I looked around the room and saw how elegant it looked not like our home. Filled with different paintings and a bookshelf full of… well… books. It was not like anything I have seen before, I looked at the table right before me, it had carvings of birds, people, trees and many more. It was as if the table itself was telling a story. I looked at the teapot and teacups set on the table. It was more expensive than anything we had back at home. The sudden change of scenery made me awe struck. From a simple, home to such a thing of extravagance, I have never imagined to live in such a place. Yashamaru then called Hanna close to him, and told us that she would be responsible of taking care of us and teaching us everything, we needed to learn. As I look back to it, I remember myself wondering on how the maid knew such knowledge and wisdom. Then we started our studies under her guidance, she told us that she used to be a sensei at one of the schools at Tokyo, well that answered my question.

While we lived under the Uncle Yashamaru's roof, it was a very comfortable life to say at least. Temari, acted like an Adult as usual even though she was only a year older than I was, this annoyed me at times. She acts so 'civilized'… yeah right. That is until she turns into that bloody pig tailed blonde demon when she gets pissed off. Gaara is doing well, he managed to adapt with his surroundings and he is a genius, smarter than I am. Something did not feel right though, it is as if, there was actually no love in it. It was like Uncle did it because of otoosan. Everything felt so plain in a way. Did Temari and Gaara notice the same thing I did? I remember myself hoping that they did not, I actually wanted them to live a normal life with no disturbance. One night Hanna sensei told us that, Uncle Yashamaru was calling for us. The three of us came altogether and sat before him, who had a serious expression on his face, making us get worried.

"Your otoosan passed away." He said with his eyes looking straight at us, with his hands around the teacup placed near his lips, he drank a little and then continued with his eyes narrowed, "You know what that means, he cannot pay the money I spent for you three." I knew there was something going on; uncle just did all those things because of the money my father would pay in the end. He told us as he placed the teacup on the table. He clapped three times as a sign that he was calling our sensei. Hanna sensei went near and uncle Yashamaru whispered something in her ear. I did not know what it was but when I looked at my sister Temari, she had her hands covered on her eyes, crying from what she had heard from our uncle. Gaara just wiped the tears of his face, trying to stop himself from crying. I wanted to cry but my feelings mixed with anger and sorrow. Angry of what Yashamaru did and turning out that he did not even love us at all. Sorrow that my father died without us knowing what happened. "Lowly orphans should be put to their places, unless someone will be willing to adopt you three but who would do such a foolish thing?" he continued, he gave me out a glare as he saw me look at him with hatred in my eyes. "Especially this one, do you even know what will become of you, pathetic bastard!"

I was about to stand up when Temari pulled me down, I looked at her and she just shook her head, while tears slid down her cheeks. Gaara just looked at me scared, worried and confused of what was happening, his innocent green eyes glistened from the tears forming. When suddenly, Yashamaru gestured his hands and muttered something like, "Make sure the door is sealed shut." Hanna sensei gave out a nod and led us each to our room, first was Gaara's which she shut tightly, then Temari's doing the same. Until it was my room, I tried struggling for her to let go until I have noticed the way she held my arm, it was actually gentle. I stopped for a while, she gestured me to sit down on my futon, she shut door and sat right in front of me. She had a sad look on her face, as if she did not really want this to happen. She only said a few words to me

However, I remember her saying, "I treated you three as if you were my own children. I really did not want this to happen but please forgive me Kankurou; I am just following Yashamaru-sama's orders."

"Why do you keep on following his orders anyway, can't you do anything?" I said to her hoping that she would say the answer that I have expected. In my disappointment, she just shook her and went out. I could hear her seal the door shut and the sound of her footsteps getting softer and softer. I just lied on my futon and decided to sleep.

I woke up just in time to see a man opening the door to my room; he had wore something that looked like bandages on his head and with a cloth that covered half of his face. He wore plain clothes and he was not good looking that is for sure. He grabbed me by the wrist and roughly pulled me out of the room, I tried struggling for him to let go, but he was stronger than me and I had no chance. When he pulled me at the hallways towards the exit, I never saw uncle Yashamaru anywhere but only Hanna sensei near the doorway, looking down on the ground, maybe she was sorry about not being able to do anything… or maybe something else. "Where's Temari?" I yelled out, trying to get myself out of that man's grasp, as I looked at Hanna sensei silent. She looked at me and replied, "Baki had come earlier to pick her up and send her to a place where she could be checked." I looked at the man who held me by the wrist, he must be Baki, since I was just young then, I did not know what Hanna sensei meant by Baki taking my sister to a place where she could be checked. I was scared and worried of what will happen I felt as if I wanted to die at the spot. Baki then held his hand out towards Hanna sensei as if he wanted something. She gave out a nod and gave her his handkerchief big enough to tie both of my hands together, which he did. While doing so, I kept on moving that it made it a hard time for him to tie it, he then gave me a strong slap on the face, leaving a red mark. Hanna sensei just looked away. Once I went out of the house, there I saw Gaara sitting on a rock with his hands tied together as well. He was looking down as if he was lost in deep thought, until I noticed that he had a red mark on his face. He must have tried struggling as I did; I hope Temari's safe and no harm done to her.

Baki led us to a train station, in where I ignored all his doing and just looked at Gaara who was as equally as scared as I was. I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay but I could not. Until suddenly Baki pulled us once again to enter a train, I sat right beside Gaara, whispering words that would comfort him to ease his emotional suffering. After a few hours, the train stopped at another train station. Once again we were pulled roughly outside until, some guy wearing a straw hat and a sort of thing that looked like chair with wheels connected to two poles behind his back came. My memories are killing me, I forgot what it was called. We climbed on it, and Baki said something about a teahouse or something. The guy nodded then began running. Until he stopped at a building with a sign that said, 'Shiawase teahouse', he first went down and pulled me along with him, leaving Gaara sitting there all alone. Until I found out that, I was to be separated from Gaara. I started to struggle with all my strength and yell, "GAARA! GAARA!" I saw Gaara's expression, it was as if he wanted to jump off and come running to me but there was nothing he could do but look at me get pulled away. What if Gaara was sent to someone cruel that would abuse him? I would not be there to try to save him. Where is Temari? Is she okay? What did they mean by her being checked? Baki forcefully pulled me towards the entrance until there appeared a woman, young in stature; she had long wavy black hair and her eyes colored red. Her kimono looked more like bandages wrapped all over her, and if it really was, she must have spent a lot of time wearing that kimono of hers. Good thing it was just the design.

I looked at the woman and as I did, I heard Baki say, "So Kurenai is he good enough for you?"

The woman named Kurenai, began to lift my arms and then let go of them, making them drop down. I felt like I was a toy tested. I did not know what was going on. She placed her hand under my chin and began to observe my facial features. Once again she held my arms and began to bend them. Then I could see her thinking hard, she then looked at Baki and nodded. He then untied Hanna sensei's handkerchief and dropped it on the ground. "You may now leave, I could handle this on my own now." She said to him, Baki bowed and went away. I quickly picked up my sensei's handkerchief and placed it in my pocket. Then I looked at Baki and Gaara get farther until they were out of my sight.

Kurenai led me into the teahouse, currently closed so no one was in there. I looked around, it was a simple yet beautiful, it had a bonsai tree place on the counter. The tables were clean making them sparkle as light hit them. The lighting was just right and relaxing. The smell of tea filled the air. The room where I was in now overlooked a garden. Flowers of many colors, a pond where you could hear the relaxing sound of the fountain. Many people must have visited here to stay at such a beautiful place.

Kurenai sat down and gestured for me to sit right in front of her; I did what she ordered me. "What is your name?" she asked me, I noticed the way she sat, she had good posture like the way I saw Hanna sensei sit.

I looked up to her, she was not tough looking, she looked at me the way Hanna sensei did, she reminded me so much of her, the only difference was her appearance. "Kankurou…" I said, "Sabaku no Kankurou."

"Well Kankurou," she said looking straight at me, "You certainly are not staying here for free, you would be working here as a servant boy." She then stood up and went behind the counter.

I gave out a nod and a sigh of relief that at least I was in a better place than before. I wonder though, what are Gaara and Temari doing now? I just wished that I would one day be able to see them again. I know that Gaara could not have been taken too far, right? I decided to think that maybe Temari is the same place; I should find a chance to look for the two of them. When suddenly I saw her place a tray right in front of me, with a plastic teapot and teacup on it, "Follow me." she said, walking outside towards the garden.

Once we arrived outside, she took the teapot, filled it with water and placed it on the tray. "Walk towards the post then back here without spilling anything even a single drop." I began to walk towards the post, my hands started shaking, the teapot and teacups were making noise. Accidentally, I tripped, spilling the water down to the ground. Good thing I only received a scratch on my knee.

"Again!" She said aloud, this time I filled the teapot with water, then repeated what I have just done. It took me at least thirty tries or so to perfect it. Taking off the shaking of my hands, was the hardest part. I looked at Kurenai, and she seemed satisfied of my quick progress. I was lucky she was one of the patient ones.

Later that night, was already the time where Kurenai made me start working. In addition, one-step closer on being what I am today.

To be continued…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Angelus Weiss : Please do not flame me, healthy constructive criticisms are okay since I need a lot to improve. Please review my fanfic if it is okay with you. Anyway, see you next chapter!