Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or anything that could be tied to something corporate so please don't sue me.

Warnings: Not Yaoi, Semi-SI then turns into an OC, and mentions of gun violence (like if there is anything else besides that to guns and yes I know people have kinks, let's not go there).

Searching For Freedom

Prologue

"In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years". ~Abraham Lincoln

I had a sister; she was the most beautiful person in the world to me. She had loved me unconditionally and I had tried my best to love her as she did me.

It was no doubt then that when confronted with the chance to give my life for hers I would: and I did.

An attempted kidnapping is how I died; they wanted to take my little sister from me. Instead of crying in despair or calling for help to the police I ran after them. It was just two men but I wasn't the fittest person out there or ever really. Funny what desperation and adrenaline can do to a person. One becomes nearly unstoppable or at least they think they do.

I attacked them with just a penknife for a weapon and pure hatred as I saw my little sister sob and scream hysterically for me. She drew attention to the small alley we were in and the black car just down the end, which immediately rushed away. The two men yelled after it once they noticed it take off. One had a gash down his face and the other was fumbling for something in the coat as I yelled to get more attention. I didn't think, I just fought until they released my sister. Then there was a loud BANG!

I didn't realize what had happened until I clutched my side as I stumbled to take a step towards them. My hand was covered in blood and there was so much screaming coming from my sister as the man with the gun looked horrified by what he did.

He dropped the gun and turned to run but the police were there, pointing their own guns at him and his partner. I collapsed onto my knees before falling backwards onto my back. I was looking up at the sky, blinking rapidly: I felt nothing. Then my sister appeared above me. Her mouth moved but I heard nothing. Instead I just released a breath and a smile, she was safe.

It was when I took a breath back in did I register that I was burning. I managed to angle my head downwards and saw in dawning horror that the shot was just below my ribcage, on the right, where my stomach was. I screamed.

My sister cried and then was pulled away and medics descended on me but it was too late, I knew. In my head I knew yet I still prayed to live even as the acid from my stomach burned me from the inside. A medic shoved something into my arm but I saw from behind her my sister and I wanted to live, live for her like I had been the past few years.

It was with regret that my eyes closed as she was also shot with something. I smiled to her though as she was also taken into the ambulance with me on another gurney. Darkness had always been welcome to me but this time I fought it, and lost to it. The last thing I saw was my sister reaching hand out to me that I couldn't respond to.

888

So long, the dark was so long and seemed to last forever.

Maybe it did, but all that I could do was dream that was one thing I never regretted about me, that I could dream and believe. I dreamed my sister was fine that I awoke and was taken out of the hospital. I was back home with my parents who would cry to see me alive, be relived that I had lived and saved my sister. My two other little brothers would actually cry when I came home! I dreamed that I would return back to school and get my major; that I changed because of what I experienced and valued my life a little more rather than resent it as I had before.

I dreamed but never awoke, until a swooshing in my ear with a ripping sound following close behind is all around me. Then I am choking.

I can't breathe, oh my god what was happening!

Then I move, I actually move! I'm choking but I'm aware enough to know feel my limbs, I haven't felt my legs and arms in so long; so I fight to get out from this cramped space. I can only move in one direction and it is hard going but I want to breathe, run, move damnit!

Finally, after what is yet again an eternity, I getout and I breathe deeply the sharp stinging air around me. It is still dark but then a sharp sting to my bottom brings my eyes snapping open and my mouth open for a scream I can't hold back of pain and shock. I don't cry though it's really hard not to, which has me feeling embarrassed since I haven't cried since I was 5, but I do continue to scream and wail as I'm jostled around and the lights assault my eyes. Beating my arms and flailing my legs doesn't do anything to stop the rough hands on my head and the sharp stings on my body.

The revelation hits and parts the clouds from my eyes and my mind: I am being carried. Great revelation, I know right? Yeah, well it would be to you as well if you remember that last time you couldn't fit in a person's hand.

My senseless screaming ceases as abruptly as it came and my 21 year old frame of mind grabs a hold of my body as soon as it can after that and I look up into the eyes of a woman. She is very strange in appearance to me with pale skin and bloody hair. Her looks clash with the memory of dark tanned skin and pitch black hair I remember of the people I was more comfortable with. She grimaces as she looks at me before shoving me in the direction of someone else who takes hold of me before I'm dropped because I swear the lady basically just dropped me.

The woman is surrounded by what I guess are medics, I can't really tell but they're wearing all white and they're all kind fuzzy looking right now. They're speaking but I don't know what so I listen intently, or as intently as I can since babies don't really have a great sense of hearing. It is kinda obvious what has happened to me now; you'd have to have some deep denial skills to ignore that. I have been reincarnated and not into a nice place if by the glare that the woman is giving me is any indication.

It is only after I pick up some words, like okaa-san and onna no ko, that I realize they are speaking in Japanese. I had taken two years of Japanese and was going to my third year in college when I died.

She is my mother, I think, which is so strange a thought since I already have (had) a mother. She had been a terribly small loud woman and the best mother anyone could ask for but she isn't here anymore. That thought sent a pang through my heart and I whimper as I think of my lost family. I'll never get to see them, ever.

I could have been reborn anywhere, most likely by the time I am a grown woman here once again my old family will all be dead. Or who knows how much time has passed? What if I've been reborn into the past!?

The people continued to talk but I can't keep up plus I'm kinda freaking out in my head so instead I look up again to see an auburn haired man looking at me with a blank look and a mouth set into a thin line. Oh great, seems like everyone here so far doesn't want me to be here.

That makes three of us douchebag. It's only as I study him further that something on his forehead catches my eye and not only because it is shiny but that is attached to long piece of clothe and wrapped around his head and the metal plate has an emblem on it in the shape of ... something.

Oh hell no.

I quickly, or as quickly as my baby head can, turn to attempt to look at everyone else and lo and behold some of the medics have shiny things on their foreheads too. Even if they are far away the light made the thing on their foreheads shine.

I repeat, oh hell no. No. I closed my eyes, oh that felt nice the lights are- no! Snapping them open once again I look at the man straight in the eyes; he is still looking at me but this time with a look of open disgust and maybe … curiosity?

Bring it assholes if you wanna go! I'll beat you all up I grew up in the hood!

Of course I can't do anything, I am just a baby and I takes me a bit to even get my hands loose from the blankets. When I do all I can do is wave my tiny clenched fists in the air and that soon gets tiring, but the man stops frowning and instead smiles just a little before he makes his face blank again. He does pull me closer to him though and it's warm and really nice. I blink again but this time it takes me longer to open my eyes, it is so warm!

888

When I next open my eyes it is to see the blood-haired woman frowning at me again. If I could have I would have glared right back, but I can't make the muscles in my face follow my will so I just settle for something better. I cry, loudly. Well more like scream my lungs out, no tears. I haven't fallen that low yet.

Hey I am a baby, I have the right to cry as loudly as I want and for the loss I have suffered ... yeah even don't believe myself. It is surprisingly easy though, to act as a baby, and she gets a panicked look that gives me immense satisfaction. However, before I can continue crying something is shoved in my mouth that if I didn't suck on will choke me. So I do, and it tastes surprisingly good! I am really hungry now that I notice so I keep on drinking.

Soon it is emptied and the frowny woman sighs before patting me on the back roughly. Just for spite I drool on her and delight in the shriek that comes from her when she notices my milky white drool. Hells yes.

"Zenshi no!" She screeches before lowering me into a crib and cleaning herself.

Oh is that my name? Must be, it sounds weird I have never heard a name like that before in popular media, I don't even know what it means, oh well.

"Are you ok?" I hear and my father comes in. I struggle to turn, how can babies even move, to try to look at my father. I think my mom is married by force or something, she utterly despises my father.

"Yes," she snaps and I manage to grab a sheet and pull it closer to me. I run out of breathe son though and stop moving because it feels like my fluttering heart is going to explode. Damn, I am so weak!

"I heard you yelling ..." he trails off and I once again try to move the sheets with one hand while with the other I maneuver my pillow. Soon enough I get the blanket underneath me and I move up a bit. Shifting the blanket some more I move the pillow behind me and I'm sitting up! Awesome!

"The thing spilled milk all over me-"

"Zenshi!" I'm so surprised by my father's voice I jump and loose the precarious balance I achieved and topple to the side. Damn it, that had taken forever to achieve, thanks a lot dad! "Don't do that Zenshi."

My father picks me from my crib as I flail to get up and he settles me on his broad shoulder. I look around and my mother is frowning as usual though she is looking at the crib then at me with narrowed eyes. Oh crap.

"I will be-" the rest of my father's words are lost on me as that is the extent of my Japanese understanding, though I have been improving. He rubs soothing circles on my back and I yawn involuntarily before nodding off the soft rumble of my father's voice.

It's not so bad a life so far even with my mother.

888

Time is all wibbly-wobbly when you're a baby so honestly I don't even know how much time passed before we were invaded.

Yeah, you heard that right, invaded.

See I did a really good job of suppressing the fact that where I am, is full of ninja. I did an even better job of denying, suppressing, and repressing the fact that I might be in the Naruto-verse because shit like that did not happen unless it was fan-fiction and fuck no.

NO.

Who wants to live in a military dystopia anyway? Not me for sure! Yes, before this a friend and I would discuss in length the Naruto society, shut up.

How was I certain it was full of ninja? My parents and the people they invited over. It was in their every movement mostly my father though. He would draw things in paper and they would suddenly vanish. Or my mother would walk up the ceiling whenever I decided that I've had enough mil and squeeze the bottle hard and send a jet of milk to the ceiling of our home. I loved watching my father draw seals though.

He sealed fire once for me.

Anyway back to the invasion, not good. First because, well hello it is a goddamn invasion, no one wants to be invaded. Second because this is the moment my mom threw me to the dogs, not literally of course though I wouldn't be surprised if she had. She had been holding me when our house was blown up. I had started crying out because holy shit, explosion! She had dodged it pretty quick though but that's when she got a funny look on her face, which got even more prominent when she looked at me.

That look made me shut up quick and when she started to move and I caught a glimpse of my dad beneath some rumble I remained quiet. He wasn't moving. I was sad that he had died; really he had treated me nicely and cared for me more than my 'mom' had. I sent a silent prayer in my head that he at least died painlessly and was in a better place now. Then my 'mom' lowered me to the ground; oh this did not bode well.

She settled me behind some rocks, she was actually gentle with me and fixed the blankets I was in. I whimpered a little as her warmth left me and I saw a look of guilt pass her before she bent down and kissed my forehead and swept the back of her hand up and down my cheek softly. It was the most motherly she had been with me since I had been born.

"I'm sorry Zenshi I- this is the best I can do, and Juko is dead, finally. At least this way you might survive, maybe. I don't know if I want you to but I know I don't want to live. Goodbye my little girl."

She then vanished and I remained there, incapable of moving or even crying out. Instead I whimpered as loud noises assaulted my ears along with screams as well as huge monstrous roars.

Fate hated me that had to be it. Who the hell leaves their kid behind thinking this is the best way they will survive. Sheesh, these people are a little neuron short of a functioning brain.

I don't know how long I stayed there; I know I slept a lot. I wanted to move so very badly but i couldn't because I am a damn baby!

As the time passed I thought long and hard about where I was. I've been thrust in a world where death was as common as the new iPod; danger lurked like the sun shone and most of all where impossible things happened as constantly as we breathed… nope it aint real, who am I kidding yeah, totally not in the Naruto-verse, maybe some third-world country. Yeah that made more sense.

I don't know how long I thought, I always thought in my old life and now. It was easy for my thoughts to shift from morbid to hopeful before back again. As I was thinking of how I don't want to die I was also thinking of how in the world I was even goign to survive. Death by starvation doesn't really sound appealing and my stint in this world would be brutally short. Honestly, I don't even know what I wanted with myself.

It was as I was thinking deeply that I felt it a warm energy that surrounded me and as I breathed shallowly it also permeated the air. As I smelled it, it tickled my nose and made me sneeze. I was fascinated by it instantly, giving up all thoughts of death and instead breathed in the strangeness in the air and tried to make the warmth in me move. I succeeded in making it move, the warmth in me, and soon I was comfortable and able to put off the hunger I felt since my mother left me.

Funny thing though is that I wasn't outside, I was actually inside. It occurred to me that I hadn't seen outside in such a long time, I missed the sun; I wanted to see the sun. The desire was so intense that I managed a weak cry; I think maybe three days had passed or maybe it was three hours, and I was running out of the warm stuff, which I was starting to think was chakra but my repressed mind kept referring to as warm stuff because I have issues.

It wasn't until shuffling sounds near me made me stop my whimpers momentarily. I dont't want be found by my enemies! Welp, look like looks like being a wishy-washy little shit had stayed. Wonderful.

"Baby, please don't be silent, please don't let me be alone."

I honestly did not know what the voice said, but it was so soft and nice, there was no way that was the sound of an adult. That was a child's voice. So instead I cried out again as much as I could since I couldn't really speak. Hell, most of the time I couldn't even tell what other people were saying to me.

That's another thing, my memories were fading ever so slowly. I didn't even realize until my 'mom' had spoken to me and I had understood what she said but not what else she had ever told me before. Maybe because her face had been so serious, or because she had done her first motherly act that made me remember the Japanese words and roughly translate them in my head when she did.

Soon there was a shifting from the rocks I was underneath and a small face appeared. It belonged to a small boy with orange hair and eyes. His face, which had a bit of worry, broke out into joy as he spotted me and he reached out to pick me up. I whimpered a little since I had no idea how cold I had been until his small warmth enveloped me.

"Hello baby." He whispered and he began to cry a little as he hugged me. I freaked out a little and managed to get a hand up and pat his thin face. He wiped his tears and hugged me even tighter.

That was nice, I liked hugs and he was giving me a good hug, but I was hungry too so again I began to whimper. He gave me a worried look and then fumbled around as he tried to hold me and get something else with his hand. With a small shout he produced a small jug of milk and fed me as best as he could. I think I fell in love with him right then, my little hero! Well technically he was bigger than me and physically older, he looked no more than five years old, but I was the one with the mentality of a 21 year old even if I was stuck in a baby's body.

Once I was full I did my baby interpretation of thank you, which was basically giggle, smile, and wave my tiny hands in the air until I could pat the boy's face again. He was a small boy, who was starting to remind me of someone, and he openly smiled and hugged me some more before fixing his hold on me and walking. I looked around and saw the destruction of the village, or what I could from the fires still on and the starlight. I was silent and I think this worried him because he constantly checked on my to see if I was all right.

"I'm sorry I did this, you probably lost your parents huh? I- I didn't mean to, it was an a- accident." He stumbled over his words; he was only five, just barely learning words I guess, so it made sense he couldn't speak very well.

I roughly understood him, the Japanese here was strange and honestly I only understood about every word in five or so, man I'm going to have to pay attention and learn it again. Well at least baby and child's brains adapt faster. Wait, what?

He did this? How?

I really wanted to know but I couldn't so I just blew spit bubbles at him. That was strangely fun and entertaining to not only myself but also to him to since he popped them and then laughed after I giggled. Being a baby was kinda fun though most of the time it was boring. Soon we made it to a small cave that accommodated us perfectly seeing as we were tiny. Sighing he settled me against some moss growing in there and lit a fire, wow this kid was awesome. I relished at the warmth and made more baby noises, which greatly amused him and only pleased me more.

I didn't like it that he looked sad, children shouldn't ever look so sad, and whoa I am getting way too attached to this kid real soon. It must be because I was a baby, in my psychology class I learned that babies lean more towards those that care for them so it made sense that I felt attached almost instantly, it was in my biology to do so at the moment. He had fed me and kept me warm so even though I am 21 in my head my body as a baby leaned more towards these actions. Weird, but strangely comforting I wouldn't have to really think about my actions if my body was more inclined to do what it was programmed.

I turned my attention back towards the boy, he was tall and well old looking, is that how babies see things? Did I mention babies have crap depth perception and all other senses? Because they do, well except smell I smell a lot of things more sharply. How, well for one when I was with my mother I smelled something burning before she did. There was sharp scent; it was mostly coming from the boy. He was messing around with a bag by his side until he produced a length of tattered cloth and started messing with it.

"My name is Juugo. I don't know yours but I guess it's Zenshi since your blanket says so." He told as he kept messing with the tattered cloth.

Oh, oh my god.

No. Please. No this isn't real. I sing-songed in my head.

Ok time to face reality, oh god oh god oh god who are you kidding this is a nightmare!

I loved Naruto but as a viewer, I never wanted to be in their world!

Holy shit man, ninjas that kill like others drink coffee is not my kind of world! I felt the panic in me rise as I kept thinking of this world and oh man I aint going to survive! There was no child with Juugo at Orochimaru's! Oh my god Orochimaru was going to get us, holy shit no! As I panicked I vocalized it the only way I could have, I screamed.

"No, please don't cry!" He begged me; a pained look came across his head before he shook it off. "Please stop crying!"

I couldn't stop though, I just couldn't. Maybe it's because the situation was finally setting in; I was a grown woman in baby's body with her past life now dead, her current parents dead, and in a world that shouldn't exist. Or at least not in the way we thought of this as, this wasn't Inkheart damn-it!

"Please stop," Ok that made me shut the hell up, not what he said but by a sudden assault of the sharp fizzy smell coming from him that was tinged with a strong dirt smell.

I looked around until my eyes found his form and widened as Juugo struggled to control what was no doubt his clan's freaky powers. Oh shit, no wonder he said he was sorry, he was the one, he was the one who attacked my home and no doubt killed my parents.

This little boy who was straining under the grey skin trying to take over his body so he wouldn't hurt me, who had tears in his eyes but did not cry or sob. Oh. When he finally was able to shove back the grey skin he collapsed onto the floor, shaky arms the only thing holding him up. So I did the only thing I could to distract him as he gasped for breath, I cooed at him. I couldn't talk so I did that instead and his head snapped up to stare dazedly at me.

"You're not scared?" he sounded amazed by this, like it was a foreign concept to him, oh good I think my heart just melted.

Dear Lord save me from the adorable children with way too tragic pasts, save me from them… who am I kidding I loved those tortured boys and hey if I was stuck with one of them I might as well make good on my promise to love them. Not like that you perverts, like a sister. I think I did a good job at being a sister, so why not be one here now as well.

He inched closer to me and delighted when I patted his cheek with my chubby hand, gods I had such chubby hands. I was adorable if I do say so myself. Whatever, this was gonna suck so bad man I was a baby with a five year-old, we were gonna die. I yawned as sleep tugged at my conscious; Juugo snuggled next to me and in the blink of an eye he knocked out before me. I followed soon after, my dreams filled with all things Naruto as I tried to remember everything about the manga.

AN: Question, comments, or flames please send via PM and reviews in review button

Update: July 18, 2013

2nd Update: November 23, 2013: Took out a unnecessary scene that has nothing to do with the overall plot.