A/N: Oh, just a random oneshot… for the record, I tried to get the accents right... hope you enjoy!
xxxxx
-Japan-
"Like, omigosh, Japan is so totally cool!" Kitty squealed as she walked through the streets of Tokyo.
"Y' don't know this place too well, Half-Pint." Logan growled. Even though they weren't even on a mission, Logan still didn't feel at ease.
Kitty sniffed, still enchanted by the bright colors of the city.
"Hey, vhat is zis?" Kurt asked Logan, holding up a pink-and-white stuffed cat.
"Grr… It's Hello Kitty." Logan sighed inwardly. It had been awhile since his last run-in with the Japanese fad, but he still didn't care much for it.
"Oh… Kitty, have you ever seen zis before?"
"Like, omigosh! That is so cute! What's it called?"
"Ze Wolverine says it is 'Hello Kitty'…"
"Like, omigosh, she's so cute!" Kitty paused, seeing a little stuffed dog. "Ooh! Look at this one! Like, it's the cutest thing I've ever seen!"
"Ja, but it is not as fuzzy as I am… Wolverine, does zis have a name, too?"
"Pochacco."
"Like, could you mumble any faster, Logan! Po-what-o?"
Logan just growled in reply.
"Hmm… I think ze Wolverine said, 'Po-cha-co'…"
"Well, Pochacco is so totally cute! And omigosh, omigosh, omigosh! This little black owl is adorable!"
"Ja-ja," Kurt rolled his yellow eyes. How girls thought plushy animals were cute was beyond his understanding. But if Kitty liked them… Suddenly, he spotted a billboard in both Japanese and English. "Hey, Kitty? I think ze owl's name is Batz-Maru."
"Like, wow, that's such a cute name! Like, I'm so totally gonna buy all three!"
"Oh, boy," Kurt muttered.
XXX
-Two days later, back at the Mansion…-
"What have ya done ta mah room!" Rogue shouted as she entered the room she shared with Kitty. "Ya know Ah don't do pink!" She gaped at the room. Kitty had apparently gone on a Hello Kitty craze, and redone their room to match. Pink curtains, pink beanbags, three-dozen or so Hello Kitties, a score of Pochaccos, some Batz-Marus, and a Doraemon clock adorned their quarters.
From the center of the room, Kitty grinned. "Like, isn't it so totally cute? Like, omigosh, Batz-Maru totally matches you!" She bounced over to Rogue shoved the black owl into her friend's face for emphasis. "Black on black, like, it's so awesome!"
Rogue pushed the stuffed animal aside and blinked. "Are ya kiddin'?"
"Like, it's my room too…"
"Ya could at least keep ta your sahde of the room!"
"Like, sorry. But seriously, Batz-Maru is so your thing!"
"Big huge ahs? Plush? Ah don't think so."
"Fine, like, have it your way. I'll move my stuff if you promise to let Batz-Maru sit on your bed."
"Do Ah have to?"
"Or else your sheets go, like, pink and Hello Kitty."
"Fahne."
XXX
-A week later…-
"Hey, Jubes, what's with Kitty?" Bobby asked as he spotted Kitty heading in their general direction.
Jubilee eyed Kitty warily. Dressed in a pink (you guessed it) Hello Kitty top with gibberish written all over it and pink Capri's to match, Kitty was a sight.
"I have no idea," Jubilee replied, "but she looks so fob."
"Oh yeah."
"Like, hey, guys! Like my outfit?"
"We—" Bobby was cut off by a sharp jab in the ribs from Jubes.
"Oh, yes, Kitty," Jubilee faked, "It's lovely… very… pink, and… so you!"
"Thanks! Like, I thought it was so totally awesome…" Kitty launched into one of her spiels about how she got the outfit, how much she got it for, when she got it, and the like.
Seeing as Kitty was babbling (again), Bobby quickly stammered, "Oh, um, I was um… gonna help Scott in the garage."
Jubilee kicked him as he walked by and gave him the some-friend-you-are glare.
Bobby winced, shrugged, and limped away.
XXX
-That afternoon…-
"Do you really think zis will work?" Kurt asked as Bobby and John applied their 'finishing touches'.
"Sure, man… stop wiggling! …It's only gonna be for a little while." Bobby grunted as he adjusted the last bits to Kurt's costume.
"Ja? I'm not so sure." Kurt glanced skeptically at his reflection.
"Perfect!" John pronounced. "This'll bring Kitty out of her stupid 'Hello Kitty'-ing really, really fast."
"Ja?"
"Oh yes… pink is," Bobby paused and cleared his throat, "like, so totally your color!"
John laughed, and joined in the mimicry. "Like, Kurt, I just love your shirt! Like, where did you get it?"
Kurt groaned, baring his teeth. "Can ve just get zis over with?" He gestured down toward his costume: it was an exact replica of what Kitty had worn that morning, only with a hole in the back for his tail.
"Okay, okay, we're good," John waved his hands in mock terror and made a shield of fire.
"Cut it out, John," Bobby rolled his eyes, waved a hand, and John's shield instantly became a block of ice. "Now Kurt," he continued, "just remember all your lines, and with luck…"
"Kitty will be somewhat normal again," John finished. "Now hurry up, she's almost back from the mall."
"And vy am I the one doing zis?"
Bobby and John exchanged a 'duh' look.
"Because we couldn't get Logan to do it," Bobby replied.
"Okay." Kurt took a deep breath, BAMF-ed into Kitty's room, and waited.
XXX
-Minutes later…-
"Then we're like, so on for the movies tomorrow… later!" Kitty smiled and closed her cell phone. She phased through her door into her room.
"AAIIEE!" she screamed.
"Hello Kitty… do you like my new outfit?" Kurt smiled as he sat on her Hello Kitty bedspread. "It matches my eyes, ja?"
"OMIGOSH KURT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"I love Hello Kitty now! It is ze best ever, ja? Pink is… how do you say… so my color!" Kurt smiled, his dark lips just freshly-lipstick-ed a vibrant pink and his dark hair brushed into pigtails little-Japanese-girl style.
"AAIIIEEE!" Kitty screamed and ran hard… right into the door. In her panic, she'd forgotten to phase or open the door.
Kurt winced. He didn't think that his little masquerade would result in an unconscious Kitty Pryde. "Kitty? Hello? Kitty?" He moaned, "Vhy does this alvays happen to me?" Grudgingly, with costume, lipstick, and all, he picked her up and BAMF-ed to Hank's office.
XXX
-Next afternoon…-
"Kitty, what's with the Goth look?" Jubes sat next on her friend's bed, regarding Kitty curiously.
"Shut up and like, go away." Kitty curled up into a ball and stuffed her face into her pillow.
Jubes looked around the room. Where there used to be Hello Kitty was now replaced by Gothic stuff. She turned her questioning gaze to Rogue, who was typing away on her laptop.
"Hey, don't look at meh. Ah just did what she told meh to."
"I assume she's done Hello-Kitty-ing?"
At the mention of the name, Kitty screamed into her pillow.
Rogue shrugged. "Yeah. Aftah Kurt's fiasco, Ah think she's done."
"Kurt?"
"Ya mean ya haven't seen the pictures?"
"What pictures?"
"Ah'll show ya." With a few clicks and taps, a picture of Kurt from the day before appeared on the screen.
"Oh, wow…"
"Mm-hmm…" Rogue smiled evilly. "Ah've got this floatin' around the mansion via flyahs."
"No way… that rocks!" With a grin, Jubilee headed for the door, casting a sympathetic glance at Kitty.
XXX
-Meanwhile…-
Kurt grabbed a flyer off the hallway bulletin board. "Mein Gott…"
-End-
