She's certain that her crush on Haruka is partially- if not completely- Rin's fault. She had been a young, impressionable primary school girl back then, and he'd been the cool, aloof upperclassman who was her brother's best friend. It had practically been a scenario gouged right out of a weekly shoujo, and Gou may have labeled it as destiny or fate, had she believed in those sorts of things. Every girl has had her primary school crush, Gou reasons, and if anything, it makes sense that hers would have been on Haruka.

To be honest, Gou thinks that it would be impossible for anyone not to either fall in love with or utterly despise Nanase Haruka after hearing the way that Rin goes on and on about him all the time. Gou remembers the way that her older brother would always tell her stories about his smart and skilled teammate in the swimming club. She remembers the way that Rin's eyes shined while describing how he and Haru had been neck to neck during their 50m free, or how they'd been punished with push-ups after he'd shoved Haruka into the pool when the other boy had been poised for a dive. No-one could describe Haruka's sleek form gliding through the water, or the way that his hair caught on the sunlight when he came up for air better than Rin did. Gou hadn't entirely understood all the swimming terminology or what her brother was talking about, but she remembers seeing the smile on Rin's face, the excited flush in his cheeks whenever he thought about competing with Haruka. Wow, she had thought, this Nanase-kun must be an amazing person.

In retrospect, Gou had probably spent more time with Haruka than she did with any other boy she knew, save for her brother and father. As Rin and Haruka had grown closer in their camaraderie, Haruka had begun to visit the Matsuoka house with increasing frequency, and Gou thinks this could have been a contributing factor to her infatuation as well. She remembers standing at the school gate waiting for Rin, glancing anxiously at her plastic watch in fear that they'd miss their bus and be scolded when they got home. Rin had come dashing around the corner with a big wave and an even bigger smile, another boy tagging along at his heels. As soon as she'd caught sight of light in Rin's eyes as he approached, Gou hadn't even needed an introduction to know who he was with. "Haru, this is my little sister, Gou," Rin had explained, slightly out of breath as Gou regarded his friend with a slightly awestruck expression. "Haru's coming over today."

On the walk from the school to the bus stop, Gou hadn't been able to stop sneaking glances at Haruka, wishing to catch glimpses of his dark hair and stoic expression. Being in the presence of the person that she'd heard so much of, Gou had felt as if she'd met a celebrity, and he was every bit as wonderful as Rin had described. Haruka had accidentally caught her staring once, and she'd responded by straightening up immediately, looking forward, and blushing furiously.

Over the course of the next few years, visits from Haruka became far from uncommon, sometimes with the rest of the swimming team in tow. There were Tachibana-senpai, a gentle, if somewhat soft-hearted boy who always shared his snacks, and Hazuki-kun from Gou's year who loved playing with the Matsuoka family's dogs, but couldn't keep any pets of his own because his mother had allergies. But most of the time, it would just be Rin and Haruka, the former chattering away at the speed of light with an arm flung around the other's shoulder, and the latter occasionally offering a snide rebuttal with a barely-there smile. Initially, it had seemed as if they had been lost in their own two-man world, but eventually, Gou managed to become a regular part of their conversations as well.

Gou has many recollections of these weekday afternoons with the three of them walking down the hill from the school to the bus stop, sometimes running when they were late. Gou remembers little else from her primary school years, but she remembers the orange hue of the sunset, and the stickiness of melted popsicles dripping onto her hands as her brother and his best friend chatted away in front of her. She remembers how Rin's smile for Haruka was brighter and better than it was for anyone else, and the way that the two of them knew each other so well it was that it seemed as if they'd spent lifetimes as friends rather than a few mere years. Gou remembers how in those days, the two of them used to glow as if set on fire whenever their eyes met, and she wishes that she'd noticed earlier that it was love.

When their father had announced that they'd be moving to America on a short notice on account of his job, Gou remembers the warzone that their house had become over the next few days. Rin had slammed doors and screamed hatred, inconsolable in his anger, but ultimately helpless in the face of change. Gou knows that he'd cried for several nights. The only thing that seemed to comfort him was the fact that he'd be receiving better swim training in America, which fueled not only his passion for the sport, but his desire to compete with Haruka. No matter how angry and miserable he was at home, Gou had watched Rin put up a smiling, brave face whenever he was at school with his friends, acting painfully casual about his relocation. On the last day of school before they were to leave, Rin had invited Haruka to their house one last time, and all the rooms had looked painfully cold and bare, all their belongings packed into boxes. To this date, Rin doesn't know that Gou had stood hidden behind the doorframe when he and Haruka had crouched on the floor close to each other and wrapped their pinky fingers together in promise. "I'll come back one day, and by then, I'll be strong enough to beat you," Rin had laughed with only a hint of sadness in his voice. "So promise me that you'll give me a good challenge!" Gou had watched Rin lean over and plant a small kiss on Haruka's cheek, and it was strange that instead of burning with jealousy, she had felt a deep sort of sadness that her brother would be leaving behind something so dear to him.

Gou remembers that when they'd arrived in America, the first thing that Rin would do when he got home from school every day was dash to the computer and check his email for messages from Haruka. Rin had written down his email address Haruka's hand and on slips of paper, and had told him countless times to keep in touch despite their distance. It always hurt Gou to see Rin's expression of anticipation melt into one of veiled disappointment whenever he saw his empty inbox. Gou can pinpoint the exact day when Rin had finally given up on ever hearing from his friend again, and she had watched her brother's eyes grow duller and duller, his smiles grow colder and colder, until she wondered if she'd ever see that same fire in him ever again. Part of her still resents that she couldn't do anything to help him, but for the life of her, she doesn't know what she could have done.

When they finally arrive back in Japan, Gou sets out to make things right. Her brother has never had the best caretaking abilities, so it's always been up to her to watch over him, despite his status as firstborn. She calls up a few of her old friends, and they're delighted to hear from her because unlike someone, she has the good sense to maintain her relations. Her friends tease her about not having let go of her old crush when she asks regarding the whereabouts of Nanase-senpai from before, and Gou's cheeks heat up when she hears their giggles.

Rin's lying about on his bed, blankly staring at the ceiling when Gou storms into his room and thrusts a piece of paper into his hand. "Iwatobi High School," She announces. "That's the address." Rin's expression crinkles in confusion, trying to make sense of the street names on the paper, before things click into place and his face twists into a snarl.

"Why the hell would I want to see him again?" He spits out, much to Gou's amusement. "Mind your own damn business, Gou."

She huffs in response and places her hands on her hips, not the least bit intimidated by her brother's anger. "He's going to find out that you're back sooner or later. Might as well reach out to him." Rin's pout is that of an impudent child, and he rolls over onto his side, back facing Gou.

"Tokyo's a big city."

"And neither of you are idiots enough to stay away from swimming for long. You'll see him at a competition, and he'll know that you're back."

Rin lets out a groan, and crumples the paper into a lump before tossing it into the trash can. "Stop fucking with my life, go away!" he whines into the mattress, and Gou can't help but roll her eyes and let out a sigh at her brother's immaturity.

"Look, you'd better contact him or I will," Gou states with a hard stare, and she pretends not to see the way that Rin's back tenses ever so slightly. "Remember, you're not the only one with feelings for him."

When Gou exits the room, her smile is bittersweet upon hearing the crinkle of Rin digging through the trash to find the address again. As much as she'd like to think so, she's not selfless enough to do this solely for Rin's sake. Part of her wants to see her brother happy again, but another part of her wants to see Haruka as well, even if she can only ever watch from a distance. Gou remembers orange skies and downhill walks after school, and she knows that whether Rin takes action to fix his mistakes or not, she'll never stop chasing after Haruka either. A common Matsuoka family trait is that once they set their sights on something, they'll pursue it no matter what, especially if there's competition. It's ironic that Rin had been the one to create his own love rival, and Gou doesn't intend to give up soon.

(a/n)

to clarify, gou has no intention of stealing her brother's boyfriend, but as of now haruka is still free game. she's happy for her brother, but that doesn't mean she's going to give up either, and in the end, it's haruka's choice to choose for himself, she thinks. smth like that. to put it simply, gou is probs the momoi to rin's aomine.

gou is my darling ok i'm calling it now talk shit get hit